Unplanned Pregnancy through 1 night stand

[Cymraeg12]

I’m 31yrs old, had a one night stand with someone that I’ve known for a few years and found out that I’m Pregnant a few days ago. I informed the guy that I was pregnant and said he wouldn’t a a-hole about the situation but once he realised that I was considering keeping the baby, it became all about him, that his family wouldn’t understand the situation as they were old school, that he didn’t want kids yet, that I was being selfish for keeping his baby even though he doesn’t want me too and is pushing me to get an abortion. I don’t think I could go through with it just for him.

Even though I have a supportive family and friends and this baby will never go without…he’s managed to get into my head and I can’t stop wondering now if I’m being selfish because I’ve wanted a child for as long as I can remember, having PCOS makes it harder and I know my age also comes into this at some point. I can’t stop feeling guilty that I will be bringing my child into the world knowing that their father doesn’t want them. I need some help because I feel like I’m in a fog and don’t know what to do!!!

[quote TolkiensFallow]@ImInStealthMode I was also a child with an absent father. It hurts like hell no matter how hard I try to rationalise.[/quote]
I'm sorry

I'm glad to read that some people aren't affected but for me it had far-reaching effects that I only really started to understand in my 30s. No matter how loving my Mum and wider family were, it didn't make up for the fact I wasn't 'good enough' for one of my parents who had then gone on to have a Son with the OW and live happily ever after.

It badly affected my self-worth and the way I allowed Men to treat me in my teens and 20s.

We were briefly in contact in my early 20s but after being consistently let down I made the decision to be entirely no-contact and have rebuked any attempt to speak to me since. He only knows I'm alive because I did somehow salvage a good relationship with my half-brother out of it. I've recently heard that he's lamenting his life choices (coincidentally, his wife died earlier in the year) and crying to relatives that he messed everything up. My heart bleeds .

Interesting looking at this gransnet thread showing how a woman who had a baby with a guy who wasn’t interested has dealt with it over the years.

Op I think you've had some great advice and some awful comments on this thread.

At the end of the day, if you feel you're able to support and love this child child, which I'm convinced you'll be able to do, then keep it.

The only advice I'd give is the same as I was given by my mum and mil regarding childcare. Please consider at least 1 day week in nursery it will be beneficial to your child. And it's true, he is surrounded by adults all the time apart from the days he's in nursery as neither dh or I have friends that have children anywhere near his age (mine are all much older, his younger)
I truly believe that time with his peers is the right thing for him.

The man should of took charge and got OP the MAP. Sorry but he didn't do enough to prevent this either.