Regretted abortion and now want a baby

[Owl82]

I'm looking for advice I dont want to upset anyone but I'm in such a hard place, I had a termination 4 weeks ago! It was the biggest mistake of my life I'm 37 (I have 3 children) and now feel I have thrown my chance away, we have thought about trying again but I feel like that it would be so wrong, and also I dont want to be judged, I feel like an evil person, is it wrong to try for another child I cant leave it a year or to I'm getting to old now, or should I forget about the whole thing and try and move forward, it's so hard!

You posted on a public forum. So I havd thd same right to comment as others.

I had an abortion at 20 (just felt i wasnt ready to befome a mum) they questioned me so much even though i was so sure of what i was doing. But maybe as i was young they were just checking, i dont know. I think your feelings of regret are totally normal, if you felt unsure of what you wanted to do. I never look back and regret what i did. It wasnt the right time and being a mum now i know back then i was not ready.
I would maybe wait a few months and see if you still feel the same way. Maybe you're feeling guilty right now and feel a baby would put that right. If you then still feel like it's the right thing to do you'll have no regrets.

I'm a woman who has been through few miscarriages and one stillbirth. I don't feel insulted by a fellow woman grieving for the baby she is no longer carrying.

Op, sorry for your loss. I hope you would be able to find forgiveness for yourself, soon. My advice to you is to wait a little bit longer and make a decision when the hormones have calmed down a bit.

You clearly like to get the last word! why? I dont know your situation but it sounds like you have anger towards this topic so why would you get involved if it makes you feel that way!! This wasnt my intentions, and it doesnt help, but maybe it makes you feel better!

Patrick you do realise you sent flowers to that poster but she was just quoting someone else... probably you.

If you read the rest of the post you will see she is not in agreement with you 👍🏼HTH.

OP, I think you're only human, and humans make mistakes. You obviously had some very good reasons at the time, and now you are grieving and feeling guilty. I don't think it's a good time to make any big decisions about getting pregnant. You're only 37 and have been pregnant several times, so it's unlikely to be difficult to get pregnant again. Just give yourself time to process all of this, make sure you're really sure. And at the end of the day, do what's right for you.

Whomei yes absolutely
Fun yes too!

In the sub-thread that is 'Patrick?' I'd just say Patrick you are so fixed on one perceived insult and not listening to the actual OP here. She's asked you very nicely several times to stop, and that is not making her feel good. As I wrote before, it's v clear you must have a personal reason for feeling like this, and I'm sure everyone would be extremely sympathetic to that, but please calm down here - we are actually all supposed to be on the same side.

@Branleuse reported your comment for bullying.

@Owl82 Which situation do I have anger towards?

@funinthesun19 I did not send flowers to the OP. I agreed with the comment so repeated it.

@lottelupin I'm not actually doing anything. I haven't commented on the OP's situation at all, just disputing people saying abortion is losing a baby.

Ridiculous. Im not bullying you or anyone. Youve been hurtful and offensive

This is getting crazy!!! I dont understand how Branleuse is bullying you? This wasnt a debate on what the right terminolodgy is to use, it was asking for ADVICE on how to move forward. if it bothers you so much stop reading the posts.

Saying you may have no friends is bullying imo.

What have I said that's hurtful and offensive @Branleuse?

@Owl82 The wrong terminology was used. It's important to correct it.
You're the one getting upset, I'm just responding.

People who have abortions often grieve. It can be very much a loss.

Branleuse
People who have abortions often grieve. It can be very much a loss.
..........
That is very true. Yes they made a choice but perhaps didn't really want to terminate; a friend of mine did that at 21 because of her mum and she regretted it desperately afterwards, grieved for a long time. She married the guy who was the father of her aborted baby when she was in her thirties and had two children thank goodness, which helped the healing, but it was horrible for her for years - not all the time of course but the memory kept intruding.

I also knew a couple of others who grieved after an abortion, one was really traumatised by it. Nothing seemed to take the pain away but she eventually married, had two children and was OK after that. She forgave herself.

I sympathised but didn't really understand her at the time; I do now.

I'm not getting upset, I'm just getting fed up hearing you go on and on and on!!!! As I said it's not a debate!!

@funinthesun19 I did not send flowers to the OP. I agreed with the comment so repeated it

The poster you quoted and sent flowers to was quoting it from page 1, and was disagreeing with it. I was not saying you sent flowers to the OP.

Anyway, now we’ve cleared that up... 😴

@Branleuse Again what have I said that's offensive?

Patrick, why don't you just draw a line under it and move on? The thread is really being hijacked by unnecessary squabbling, no one is interested in that, we're interested in supporting the op!

(Please do not feel obliged to respond to this post from me.)

I understand what you're trying to say **
@Bluerussian
Not sure what that was.

Go away!