Mortifying preganancy stories!

[VirtualPA]

Can I have your's please?

I had one this weekend...

I was staying with my parents and coughed.
My knickers were flooded and I thought my waters had broken.

Legged it into my parents bedroom in the middle of the night. My mum leaned over, felt my wet pants, sniffed her fingers and said

'go back to bed, you just peed yourself'

[blowninonabreeze]

Have told this before on here

During DD1s birth, I inadvertantly had a very late epidural (at 9cm) so my second stage was painfree and pretty tricky as unsure when to push.

Me legs akimbo, slightly speced on on copious gas and air and very tired, midwives down the business end.

Midwife 1 says "that's a big gap, referring to the lengh of time between contractions.

I became very affronted and indignant thinking that she is referring to my anatomy!! I don't know who was more embarrassed, especially when DH and I were still chortling about it hours later

[OnEdge]

My freind and I were discussing pooing in labour. I said i didnt poo, and she said you might have done, but they dont tell you, they just get rid of it.

So weeks later when giving birth to my second baby, his body plopped out, and I smelt shit, I said to the MW

"Have i done a poo?"

she said " NOOOO, its your BABY !!"

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

LOL blowinabreeze, I felt similar indignance when a midwife came in to the delivery room during the later stages of my epidural delivery, took one look at the business end and said "Oooh, lots of hair!"

I can't tell you how horrified and embarrassed I was at this "rude" comment! After a moment or two of being flabbergasted I got ready to mumble, "Well, I DO have polycystic ovary syndrome so I'm quite hairy anyway and I really haven't been able to tidy up properly down there during the last stages of pregnancy".



It was just lucky that DH realised that the baby's head had appeared and got up quickly out his chair to go and have a look - made me realise what she'd meant by "lots of hair" and thankfully I didn't end up making a fool of myself!

[3peasinapod]

To have shouted at the trainee doctor to get a hold of my leg and hold it up!! this was my 3rd labour and i knew this one was coming and fast! Poor lad didnt know where to look, this was his first ever delivery and had waited all day, just to see a baby being born and i freeked the hell out of him..

[memorylapse]

With DD3 (who is now 7 weeks)..I had terrible wind..one night about a week before I went into hospital (and didnt come home again until she was born 2 weeks later)..

I turned over in bed and emitted the longest, loudest fart Ive ever heard..it did not stop for about a couple of minutes..DH who had my bum pointing his way virtually launched himself out of bed ..but more embarrasing DB who I think WAS curled up fast asleep as I rolled over..jumped so much that Im surprised she didnt burst out of stomach

[IckleJess]

These stories are so funny!

I remember when pregnant with DC1 15 years ago, I carried so much water that when out shopping with my mum one day you could actually audibly hear my waters 'swishing' about as I walked! It was loud enough to attract stares from passers by and, especially as I was only 17 at the time, I was totally mortified and barely left the house from then on in. Luckily I had only a week or so to go before DS was born. T'was not a pretty sight when my waters broke in labour though

Also, my sister and I were having a conversation about pooing in labour and she confided that when giving birth to one of her children she had given a big push, felt something delivered and then started screaming 'why isn't it crying, why isn't it crying?' to which her lovely midwife replied 'because it's a poo my dear, not a baby!'

[gingerkirsty]

icklejess that story re your sister manages to be cute, in spite of the subject!

[StayingDavidTennantsGirl]

Seeker - that made me laugh out loud - poor you!! How did you look the teacher in the eye at the next parents' evening??

[biddysmama]

before i told anyone i was pg ..ds's teacher took me aside one morning to ask me if i was ok after ds had told her a few days in a row that he was late for school because mummy was being sick in a bush on the way to school, she was relieved when i told her i was pregnant lol

[Sithmummy]

Pregnant with dd, I was out shopping for some new make-up when a wave of nausea struck. I didn't have time to get to a bathroom, so grabbed a carrier bag off the handle of ds's buggy. After my stomach emptied itself (in the middle of busy shopping centre) I tied up the bag, shoved it under the buggy and carried on.

When I got home, DH picked up the bag, saying "Did you get anything nice?", opened it and stuck his head in.

[CardyMow]

When pregnant with DS2 I was feeling awfully sick for the whole bus journey (taking DD to school, an hours bus ride at the time). I managed to do an excellent job of holding it in, and thought that the feeling had passed. Got into the school playground where my DD had to line up, and promptly threw up (with projectile vomit) ALL OVER the teacher!! .

[porcamiseria]

alot of tena lady moments

LetThereBeRock

NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!

[MumOfAPickle]

My waters broke in labour at home, was planning a home birth so the MW was there. I was so relieved that they'd gone (had heard horror stories about crochet hooks...) and was pretty off my face on gas and air that I started saying "oooh its all warm, I didn't expect it to be warm - its like peeing in the swimming pool" I then spent the next couple of hours attempting to convince her that I didn't actually pee in swimming pools....

[mumwithbumandtum]

You are all fantastic. I am muchly cheered. Sitting at work with nothing to do, one day left until Mat leave and feeling enormous, knackered, breathless and have swollen bits iykwim. Thank you.

[wonka]

I stood up at a wedding 38 weeks pregant my skit had rolled under my bump while sitting and slipped to the floor when I stood... Cue outburst of laughter from the back of the church During the vows! {blush]

[wonka]

Skirt!

[ElusiveMoose]

I had an 'oh my god my waters have broken at 30 weeks' moment the other day, when I fell over while shopping. Let me tell you, if you're going to pee yourself in public, I recommend you don't choose Ikea - highly embarrassing. I got my comeuppance as well - I phoned the hospital who insisted I come in to get checked out, and even though it was by this time patently obvious that I'd peed myself, the over-officious consultant insisted on doing a full internal exam.

[FluffyDonkey]

This is putting me off getting pregnant...

[biddysmama]

i fell down the stairs when i was about 16 weeks and lots of liquid came out of me... went to the hospital who did an internal and said i'd probably wet myself.. did it smell like wee? i said " i'm pregnant for the 5th time, i usually smell of wee" dr didnt find it as funny as i did lol

[prozacfairy]

My DP phoned his boss the morning my waters went to tell him he wouldn't be in to work that day. this is how his side of their converstaion went:

"Hi XXX I wont be in today the missus says her waters went. Nah not due till day after tomorrow. Yeah i reckon she's pissed herself and all. I might come in later". I was but fairly smug when i finally gave birth 11 hours later!

[LetThereBeRock]

He did. He didn't realise until he'd pulled away,or tried to.

I can only presume that he wasn't terribly experienced.

[carocaro]

High in gas and air while being stitched up after DS1, consultant said that he was having trouble with one tear and I might need an operation later as it did not look that nice, I just shouted, 'as my husband what he thinks, he's the only one who ever goes doen there'

DH was mortified. The consultant guffed with laughter and I was oblivious as I was high!

[withorwithoutyou]

My waters leaked on the kitchen floor when I was in early labour and I rushed to the loo.

DH came out, found the puddle and told the dog off for it