Mortifying preganancy stories!

[VirtualPA]

Can I have your's please?

I had one this weekend...

I was staying with my parents and coughed.
My knickers were flooded and I thought my waters had broken.

Legged it into my parents bedroom in the middle of the night. My mum leaned over, felt my wet pants, sniffed her fingers and said

'go back to bed, you just peed yourself'

I'm resurrecting this thread to add another incidence of my DH's lack of tact. DD was born 3 days ago :) and DH sent a round-robin email to everyone -including his colleagues - giving certain details, such as my need for "rather nasty stitches". I think we all know what that means

Oh, please more!!!

My old boss told me a funny story when I was preggers. His wife is a midwife and said she assisting a junior ob with his first delivery. The lady must have been crowning and the doc was at the business end, the ladies feet were in stirrups.

For some reason, he thought it was appropriate to use either his hands or forceps (can't remember) to tug on the babies head. However, he was sat on one of these short stools with wheels, got a bit over-enthusiastic with the tugging and fell face-first into the ladies faff.

PMSL laughing, literally, stoopid pelvic floor!

I'm obviously laughing one heck of a lot , I blame lack of sleep

lovely thread.

37 weeks preg at what turned out to be last MW appointment. Student doctor there - first ante-natal experience. He was feeling for baby's position. Went on for ages and ages, with prodding getting harder and harder and the look on his face getting more and more worried. He turned to mw and whispered (rather too loudly) - "I can't find its head!", I replied "Well, she had one last week..." He had another go and found the head up by my ribs "Phew - found it" Followed by a worried me -"That'd bloody better not be it!!!". Midwife took over, and found head where it should be.

Both my births were very funny because of gas and air - but very much in a "you had to be there" kind of way!

early on in pregnancy with dc1 i had really bad pains, actually doubling over and crying sort of pain so rushed up to see out of hours doctor.

that night i had my first vaginal examination

i was so nervous i told him he was special and didn't have to even buy me dinner first

i still at the memory of that

oops posted too early, it was constipation... so my first fanjo exam and my first bout of constipation. what a special night

at WitchyWoowoo chatting up the doctor.. I do that horrible over compensating jokey thing too.. dunno why the tumbleweed that follows does nothing to relax me!

I recently went into hospital with bleeding and I asked that my partner stay in the room while a lovely lady doctor examined my cervix. She had to go out of the room to get something and while she was gone my other half made me laugh hard and the speculum shot out!

We couldn't stop giggling...

Dh and I went for lunch by the river yesterday. Lovely day, sitting in the sunshine, ds asleep, waiting for our roasts.....dh squinted at me - 'what's that growing out of your chin?'. He leaned over and grabbed hold of a 2 inch grey hair growing out of my chin. I am not father Christmas, I am a heavily pregnant 38 year old woman. Where's the justice? And why the he'll hadn't I seen it before??

Stupid iPhone. 'why the hell'