Mortifying preganancy stories!

[VirtualPA]

Can I have your's please?

I had one this weekend...

I was staying with my parents and coughed.
My knickers were flooded and I thought my waters had broken.

Legged it into my parents bedroom in the middle of the night. My mum leaned over, felt my wet pants, sniffed her fingers and said

'go back to bed, you just peed yourself'

[Alicetheinvisible]

These are really making me DC2 due in 9weeks and i feel huge (and possibly like i may wet myself at any moment due to the baby's acrobatics)

When i had an epidural with DD, my leg kept falling off the bed, no idea how or why, but i would suddenly find myself clinging onto the bed as my heavy leg was dragging on the floor and Dh would have to keep putting it back for me

[NormaSknockers]

I went into prem labour with DS at 33 weeks & during an examination by one of the consultants the lady who was with him left the room. She promptly returned with a third person & an absolutely massive miners type lamp thing which said third person then held up. So there I am, legs in the air, with 3 people at the foot of the bed having a good look with a massive light shining up my foof!

[isthatporridgeinyourhair]

I was at work heavily pregnant and with massive leaking boobs. I was holding a conference with one of my clients, when he said "Your petticoat's showing". I looked down to see one of my breast pads making a break for freedom out of the top of my Isabella Oliver frock. That was mortifying.

Oh yes and when I was being stitched by the Consultant after the birth, I farted uncontrollably in his face, to which his retort was "who let that dog in here?"

[biddysmama]

in the early days i wet myself everytime i threw up... on the way to school and even going to the loo before i set off and tena lady couldnt stop it!

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

Oh, I've wet myself throwing up too and on a few more voilent occasions have err... shat myself too

[biddysmama]

i did a poo when i was having dd.. the mw covered it up lol

my friend had a water birth and was mortified to find out why theres a colander at the side... that the midwife needed to use

[Tobermory]

Funny funny stories.

Need some kind of health warning though, all this laughing is really testing my new CS scar and those pelvic floor muscles!

[HazB2010]

It's very early days for me so no stories to report just yet. Just wanted to say thanks, am absolutely weeping with laughter!!!

[boobmanagement]

At my MIL's house at 36 weeks pregnant. Just me visiting, needed to do a huge pooh and it just wouldn't flush away. After a couple of flushes it still wouldn't budge. Didn't want to draw any more attention to this so scooped it out, opened window and flung it into the garden!

[CheekyBigBrotherFan]

When i was having my examination during labour, my midwife said that my waters had gone and that the squeeshy feeling she could feel was my babys head and she continued to ask me qauestions about my first born, did he have hair etc etc, She then said that my 2nd born would be bald too.

So me and hubby was excited thinking baby would be spitting image of our 1st born, then all of a sudden POP my waters went with such force, it covered my midwife from head to toe and all she could say was maybe it was a sack of water i could feel and not your babys head.

Needless to say DS2 was born with a Head full of brown hair and looked like the spitting image of ME as a baby and not DH or DS lol

[CheekyBigBrotherFan]

Also i remember when in labour with DS1, was getting wheeled down to Theatre due to conplications and i just all of a sudden got the urge to push, i was shouting i need a poo, i need a poo, my midwife was saying no you dont. I was very embarrassed when i remembered afterwards.

[gingerkirsty]

Oh my god boobmanagment that is awful and hilarious in equal measure!!!!!

[gingerkirsty]

Sp management of course

[Teddyisonhisway]

I sat on a kitchen chair at 7 months pregnant and it collapsed under me, landed on the floor on my arse on a pile of what was now kindling. But I did go on to have a 10lb 8oz baby so that's my excuse for weighing a metric ton...

[Sariska]

I made the mistake of thinking that waters always go with a gush. Well, they did at the end of my first pregnancy. For my second, though, we drove to the hospital with me mounted atop a pile of towels and screeching about the pressure, the pressure and how my waters were going to go any second. Waters, ha! It was the baby's head - and it took the midwife a couple of goes to convince me that the waters had gone already (where? I never saw them) and that I really should be pushing...

[lostinwales]

I did such a smelly fart when I was in labour with DS3 DH ran around opening doors and windows, spraying deodorant and apologising to the midwives, to be fair it STANK .

[herjazz]

haha

I was going to post this story t'other week and thought better of it. Mortifyingly abject

I coughed and wet myself. Scuttled off to bathroom where as I was trying to drain what was left in my bladder I had sudden urge to be sick. Vomited on my lap. Turned round and continued sicking in toilet and simulateneously pissed on the floor. Sat back on the toilet, blew my nose and had a nosebleed. Glanced down at me knickers and saw all this brown jelly sludge and thought for moment I'd shat myself as well, till thankfully I realised it was just chocolate cake I'd vommed a few moments before

ugh

[CliffBarnsby]

I will ad myself to the list of ''peed myself during pregnancy''.

I had morning sickness that was controlled by uncontrolled eating but one day me, DP and DD1 were out to lunch at an italian restaurant when I felt a bit sick - waddled off, leaned over toilet puked AND peed everywhere. Had to figure out how to get out of restaurant without all of the wait staff noticing I was soaked.

[lostinwales]

Oh herjazz pmsl!

Reminds me of the time I vomited so hard one morning I peed myself AND gave myself a huge nosebleed, I have never looked so elegant and sophisticated since.

[suzym1984]

herjazz that is the funniest thing I have ever heard...I have tears running down my face.
Thanks so much for sharing

[honie]

I had to be sewn up fairly extensively after DS, but was also in shock and being sick lots. Whilst the very pretty dr with light blonde hair was stitching me up I projectile vomited, forcing a huge spray of blood down her front, her face and all over her hair. I was mortified.

[debka]

herjazz I am crying CRYING with laughter....

[catinboots]

Was late for the plane at gatwick. About 28 weeks pregnant. DH was screaming "no time for the loo!! no time for the loo!!" We ran to the gate and I pissed myself on the way. Had to board plane soaked in piss and smelling like a vagrant. Not my finest hour.