Just found out daughter is pregnant - what do we do?

[minimees]

I've just found out my daughter is 7 weeks pregnant, she wants to keep the baby as she has Endometriosis which can affect her fertility.
This pregnancy was unplanned and she lives at home with me and her dad, we both work and own our own home and never claimed a benefit in our life.

We have no idea what she is entitled to benefits wise as a single mum and I'm hoping you can put me in the right direction.

Also, do we need to go to the doctors first to get proof that she is pregnant? Please help we have no idea

No it isn’t. If you’re not capable of understanding what OP means that’s your problem. OP and her DH are tax payers who have never claimed benefit. DD is a tax payer - she works. So get off your ‘we tax payers’ high horse and understand what’s being asked here. Do you really think that two people with an excellent work ethic, who have never claimed benefits and who know the value of work, would advocate for their pregnant daughter to leave a job and claim benefits ? OP clearly didn’t know what was available as far as maternity pay/allowances go and was looking at DD leaving work purely as a safeguarding issue. Several posters, including myself have advised as to the risk assessments and safeguarding at work as an alternative so hopefully that makes a difference.

Does she really want to go ahead as a single parent?

I agree she should definitely keep her job. Pregnancy doesn’t make you totally frail , and her employer has a duty to do a risk assessment and keep her safe.

This will stand her in much better stead for supporting her baby in the future, progressing her career, pension, getting maternity pay etc.

Is there a father who will pay Maintenance? Undertake childcare on a regular basis (aka be a Dad, whatever their relationship)?

OP posted a few minutes apart this morning. Immediately she was treated like a ‘benefit scrounger’. She hasn’t posted since. She posted for genuine advice because she and her DH (and DD) have worked and haven’t a clue what’s available in terms of support - including in work support. Instead of constructive advice she got the usual sanctimonious ‘we taxpayers’ pile on shite. Well done everyone - another OP chased off her own thread.

OP, her DH and DD are all tax payers. They’re all in work. The reason for DD leaving work is purely a safeguarding issue. Hopefully OP hasn’t been put off by the shitbags jumping on her with accusations of benefit scrounging, before she’s read the posts offering advice on workplace risk assessment and protection. There are some posters here who really should be ashamed of themselves.

I agree 100%.

Has the DD got medical advice on whether she should have the baby now because of endo?

She needs an urgent risk assessment at work to see what parts of her role she can safely do, and consideration of redeployment if available. Depending on how long she has been there she may have pregnancy rights to paid pregnancy sick leave etc if needed.

If she just decides to quit her job but stays living at home with you for free she is unlikely to be entitled to anything at all until baby is born and she can claim child benefit

She doesn’t necessarily have to give up the job. She should talk to HR or see if she can access the maternity policy online.

I worked in a similar place. When I told them I was pregnant at 12 weeks, they moved me to work with the little children (between 4 and 8 years old). It was more relaxing because the work was less physically demanding, and the children were calmer and less likely to be aggressive. When I reached 20 weeks, they moved me into the office to do administration work.

These institutions are aware of how risky it can be, and they won’t want to take the risk of a pregnant woman getting hurt at work. I would definitely suggest she talks to someone (her manager, HR, etc.) to make sure they can ensure her safety. Only if they cannot make suitable adjustments should she consider looking for another job.

For her to get maternity allowance (if she hasn’t worked there long enough), the government requires her to have 13 weeks of continuous work. So if she quits and doesn’t find another job, she could risk losing 9 months of payments. It’s not a huge amount (around £600–£700 per month), but it is definitely worth keeping the job if possible.

She can always start her maternity leave early (I did mine at around 32 weeks).

It is an obvious question.

She can apply for mertanity grant of £500 i think but thats later in pregnancy it goes towards essentials for baby ie a pram / cot etc and you do not have to pay it back. She can ask her Midwife about it as i think they have to sign it but double check on Gov.uk ( it may be called sure start or something now)

I find it uncomfortable and grabby that your first question is about what she’s entitled to. She has a job in which adjustments will have to be made. She can take mat leave and then go back to work once the baby qualifies for free childcare hours. And the father needs to pay his share.

I certainly wouldn't be leaving work now, hanging onto a job is more important than ever.

Check eligibility for this - as far as I am aware it is for people on certain benefits, or under 19 and in Full time education or training.

As this pregnant lady has a job and isn’t currently receiving any benefits there will probably not be much she is eligible for now. Is she is in full time employment and living with her parents she should be able to afford the baby set up,

Is it me, or is the standard of reading comprehension really low nowadays?

We have no idea what she is entitled to benefits wise as a single mum and I'm hoping you can put me in the right direction.

Also, do we need to go to the doctors first to get proof that she is pregnant? Please help we have no idea

No way does that equate to "tell me how to get my daughter onto a life of claiming benefits and never working again" when I read it!

Child benefit is a benefit, the free childcare available is a benefit, help with getting the dad to pay up is a benefit.

This! Don’t let her give up work - her employer needs to make it safe for her.

19 is young but not that young. My mum got married to my dad at 19 & was 20 when I was born & I’ve always loved having a young mum. We recently celebrated our joint big birthdays (50 & 70) - was fab!

She’s been a fantastic young granny also, so congrats to you too!

Tax payers?! Where on earth did op say that her DD claims benefits?! Where on earth did she say the father isn’t involved?! You’re making lots of assumptions there love! Also when a father pays maintenance it doesn’t affect benefits! They get them in addition! Sorry to burst your bubble there!

She’s 19 and making the very adult decision to have a baby. You need to step waaaaaay back so she has a reality check. Giving up her job and living with you sounds like she’s not an adult at all.

There are 9 pages of advice and the OP vanished hours ago. You're all talking to each other.
I mean after 2 pages everything that can be said has been said.
Me, I'm amazed that in the 21st century a 19 year old does not know how birth control works.

Having endometriosis doesn't mean that this is her one and only chance for a baby, I have it and a DS, conceived without any medical intervention.

She's very young and has had an accidental pregnancy, so it seems that the endometriosis is not seriously impacting on her fertility.

Her job sounds very tough - there could be a chance that she's at least partly considering continuing with the pregnancy to be able to give up work, as she's said she'll have to give up.

I think she needs to seriously consider termination, and then explore training/education/apprenticeship to get a job that she will enjoy.

Having a baby so young, as a single parent, and still living at home, cuts her off so many potential opportunities for her future.