Just found out daughter is pregnant - what do we do?

[minimees]

I've just found out my daughter is 7 weeks pregnant, she wants to keep the baby as she has Endometriosis which can affect her fertility.
This pregnancy was unplanned and she lives at home with me and her dad, we both work and own our own home and never claimed a benefit in our life.

We have no idea what she is entitled to benefits wise as a single mum and I'm hoping you can put me in the right direction.

Also, do we need to go to the doctors first to get proof that she is pregnant? Please help we have no idea

You use the term single mum - does that mean that the baby's father is totally out of the picture, or is he/his family able to assist from a distance? Apologies if I've missed that. Other than that, your DD is in a decent position to have a baby, tbh. She's got a stable home, she has a job, and she's young.

Work will have to do reasonable adjustments for her pregnancy to ensure she's not at risk. She could also look for a different (safer) job for the time being, and come back to it if and when she's ready to.

You can self-refer a pregnancy via the NHS website in your area, and they'll be in touch to book her in.

I have no idea regarding benefits available, other than Statutory Maternity Pay, Child Benefit, and then help with childcare costs when the baby is 9mo.

I actually think your post is insulting to single mothers. You lump them all together like one big homogeneous group. Lots of single mothers work really hard. This woman has got pregnant on purpose with no means to support herself and is so immature her mother is the one looking into benefits for her.

She hasn’t got a stable home. She lives with her parents.

Do you understsnd what pro choice means?
It means supporting wonen making choices that are right for them
Not choices you think they should make
I dont think any women should be forced to have an abortion they dont want
Neither should they be forced to continue a pregnancy they dont want they should have a choice

Who pays for these choices?

Dole is a slang word for benefits and always was.

She needs to stay in work not try and quit to live off benefits.

Well if she carries on working she will ,
If she utilises the benefit sysstem the tax payer will for however long shes on them
But seriously whats the alternative ?
Would you force her to have an abortion ?
And how would you do that?

The amount a woman gets whilst on maternity leave varies dependent on whether she has contractual maternity pay, SMP, or neither, dependent on earnings and length of service, in which case she may need to apply for maternity allowance. Its a complex area.

That's pretty stable. You don't need to have your own house to be stable. It's free (or very cheap), warm, safe, and comfortable.

Signed,
A woman who was living at home with her parents when she fell pregnant

Yup. "My body my responsibility."

Right. The tax payer. Not the dad who gets to bugger off. Not the OP either ( perhaps).

No one can force anyone to do anything.
But as a mum of young adults, I have done all I can to drum into their heads that they should only have kids if they can pay for them.

Having children is not a right, and I find the congratulatory tone on so many teen pregnancy posts offputting. That's all.

Does she understand the full cost of raising a child and how much you can/can't help? You need to be clear with her about that before it's too late for her to change her mind and have an abortion. No partner, no home of her own, poorly paid job, teenager - if she can come to terms with not going ahead it would surely be the best thing.

It sounds as if you think your daughter can now set herself up on benefits & get a free council house just because she's having a baby. Why would you want this type of life for your daughter & future grandchild? She needs to carry on working & then return to work after she has had the baby. It's called standing on your own 2 feet.

What about the dad he should support your daughter . Your daughters age is important. As ultimately its your daughter choice what happens next

They aren’t. There was a tiny rise after the pandemic but that hasn’t continued and the rate is strongly decreasing over time. There are 80% less babies born to teenage mothers today than thirty years ago.

Surely she'll need money to live and for baby things. Universal credit of £300 a month isn't going to go far, far best to stay in work but to let them know so they can do a risk assessment. Bit shit to encourage her to quit and sponge off you. Where's the child's father in this?

At 7 weeks an embryo is not just a cluster of cells. A 7 week ultrasound will show a small (around 1cm) embryo and you can see the heartbeat and the shape is clearly a very small baby (looks a bit like a gummy bear) you can see the start of limb buds and sometimes a line which is the spinal
cord. I think it’s important to be factual about embryo and fetus development when talking about abortion so that patients are fully informed. I would class a 4 week embryo perhaps as a cluster of cells but really after that we need to give biologically correct information to make sure patients are giving informed consent. I’ve seen many many patients absolutely traumatised, particularly after medical abortion when they were told ‘it’s just a cluster of cells , it will just be a very heavy period’ and they then pass a recognisable embryo/fetus.

Also they could sanction her for quitting her job and refuse to pay any benefits. Has she even considered that? They don't take lightly to fully able people quitting their job, pregnancy isn't an excuse.

I am a tax payer, as I work. I also receive PIP benefit due to a health condition.

You do not speak for tax payers as a whole.

We have benefits for a reason. If you don’t agree then take it up with the government, don’t you dare try and look down your nose at working citizens who are entitled to these benefits.

I suspect you and I have very different ideas of what pro choice means.

Ultimately, and thankfully, due to the society we live in, women can very well choose whatever they want. Doesn't always mean their choice is the right one - as evidenced by how broken social services is and rising rates of child poverty.

We need to stop normalising babies being born to poor single girls and women, and aim higher as a society.

This and congratulations on your future DGC.

She absolutely needs to stay at work so she gets SMP. She may be eligible for some UC on top, I recommend using the online calculator here entitled to benefits calculator so she can see how much she might get.

When she's ready to return to work after mat leave, 85% of her child care costs will be covered by UC, up to a maximum of just over £1k a month.

She really needs to apply for maintenance from the baby's father, too. That would be completely disregarded for benefit purposes.

Cousin she look for a different job that’s not as physical/ lower risk of being assaulted as that would worry me, even with a risk assessment things could still happen

I know I don't speak for taxpayers as a whole @Mirsine I have no issues with you receiving PIP. I am not looking down my nose at you. Did I say that?

Ill health can't be avoided. Babies can.

This situation seems wholly unnecessary and avoidable.