Just found out daughter is pregnant - what do we do?

[minimees]

I've just found out my daughter is 7 weeks pregnant, she wants to keep the baby as she has Endometriosis which can affect her fertility.
This pregnancy was unplanned and she lives at home with me and her dad, we both work and own our own home and never claimed a benefit in our life.

We have no idea what she is entitled to benefits wise as a single mum and I'm hoping you can put me in the right direction.

Also, do we need to go to the doctors first to get proof that she is pregnant? Please help we have no idea

I suspect this thread may not be altogether real..🤔

I agree.

I was just pointing out that it's in the OP.

DD works. Why would you say this ? She’s having the baby because it may be her only chance. The only reason she’s thinking of giving up work is the safety issues for the pregnancy. OP has posted for advice, so she’s probably not aware that pregnancy is a protected characteristic and that DD is entitled to a risk assessment from her employer, and reasonable adjustment so that the pregnancy is not at risk.

Well it’s clearly not affected her fertility in the slightest if she’s only 19! 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is a nineteen year old girl who is working and it’s very clear from the OP that they have no idea what she may be entitled to in terms of maternity pay or allowance. If the girl is thinking of giving up work because of the risk to the pregnancy then she’s clearly not aware that she can request a risk assessment from the employer and reasonable adjustment to protect her pregnancy. OP has posted for genuine advice not a bloody pile on. DD is likely a tax payer too, so let’s wind in the criticism and stick to the facts.

Which is her decision alone. Her body, her choice.

If she quits her job it will be very difficult for her to claim benefits.

Make sure her employer does a risk assessment and ensures her role is safe. That way she will be entitled to financial maternity benefits when the time comes.

She won't be eligible for housing as she is safely housed with yourself.

Again, I was just pointing out it's in the first line of the OP lol.

I don’t get the sense that OP is encouraging DD to quit her job - it’s very clear that never having claimed benefits themselves they are not sure what is available for support during or after the pregnancy, including maternity pay/allowance. So it’s unlikely that they will know that DD is entitled to a risk assessment from her employer and for protection from risk to her pregnancy in her work environment. The only reason for giving up her job would be risk to the pregnancy brought about in the workplace. Armed with the right information they can all make better decisions.

What I would do is support her myself and not rely on the tax payer. Sick of people creating situations for themselves and not taking accountability. The country and tax payers are struggling enough as it is. This is not a congratulations scenario at all. No one wins here

She keeps her job. Tells employer. She makes plans to return to work and put baby in nursery /childcare. She needs to have mindset to continue to work to support herself and child in long term she will be better off.

People are concerned that she will have a baby to support. Will the Father be contributing. Are you prepare to contribute financially to the upbriging of this child. Is she intending to give up her job now. These are all relevant questions when considering finances and making choices. And are you prepared for the upheaval of having a newborn in the house.

Either she’s adult enough to have a family or too immature to work this out

What a foolish comment…

Doctor here. No reason to see GP just because she's got endometriosis, wouldn't change anything. As other posters have said, she can self refer online to antenatal clinic at local hospital and the midwives will pick her case up. Home pregnancy tests almost never give false positives (false negatives occasionally) so if she's had a positive pregnancy test then yes she is pregnant. Hope it all goes well. FWIW I agree with other posters that she shouldn't give up her job.

It's modern Britain. Someone else will pay.

Where has OP said they will rely on the taxpayer ? She and her DH have never claimed benefits and have worked to own their own home. They clearly have no idea what DD will be entitled to in terms of maternity pay/allowance and since the only reason for DD giving up her job seems to be risk to the pregnancy in the workplace, once they’re armed with information regarding pregnancy protected characteristics and statutory risk assessment they can make better decisions. Isn’t that why OP posted ?

Congrats.

1. you probably don’t do anything. She’s an adult (I presume?) so should be sorting, and be allowed to sort, her own life out
2. why are you automatically assuming she’ll get benefits? Presumably she’s working (and already has somewhere to live) so may not get much

Enjoy watching your family grow!

What a horrid suggestion. I find the idea of her terminating for that reason worse than if she has it and claims benefits. Don't expect many to agree but it's how I feel.

Others have said but let me reiterate it to. NO, NO, NO to giving up work. It puts her in a more vulnerable position. We all know it's easier to get another job when you have a job.

Her employers have a duty to keep her safe, this should start with a pregnancy risk assessment. This does mean disclosing the pregnancy to her employers at a much earlier stage than many do, but it is for the greater good. If risk assessment is done in house and appears insufficient to reduce risk of harm, your daughter should ask for am immediate referral to occupational health and temporary redeployment or paid suspension. If your daughter is part of a union this one thing they can be very helpful with.

Congratulations! I had a baby at 19, whilst living at home (stayed for 6 months). My mum and that baby had a very lovely relationship until my mum passed.

Read the OP again. That’s not what’s being suggested. Why would two people with clearly strong work ethics encourage their daughter to quit work and rely on benefits. OP is simply asking for advice and seems to be unaware that DD is entitled to protection from any risk to the pregnancy in the workplace.

What would she do for an income instead? To use your phrase, having no money coming is “not good when pregnant”.

Gosh. If she can manage a job like that, it shows how resilient she is. Wish you and her luck. With endometriosis, I can understand why she would want to keep her baby.

Also, it's really worth having some kind of job, even if only for 1 day week. Prospective employers never ask if someone was part time or full time, so it will look good on that C.V if she doesn't have a big gap in employment.

What a horrible comment. If she’s living at home OP probably wants to help, and if the family have never claimed any benefits before they probably haven’t a clue what else is available - including risk assessment, hence the thought that DD should quit her job. I don’t know why anyone posts for advice here any more. OP was looking for genuine advice and so far all she’s had is a pile on about benefit scroungers.

Which is her decision alone. Her body, her choice.

The tax payer should only pay for it if they want to. Our bodies, our choice.