Just found out im pregnant at 15, what do I do?

[jazminemarie]

I just recently found out im pregnant and im 15, i genuinely don’t know what to do im really really scared about everything. I don’t know if I should even keep it. I don’t know if I should tell anyone and if I do how do I tell them? Especially my dad?? I’m really nervous and I feel so stupid and dumb for it even happening. The worst part is I don’t even know who the dad would be… please try not to be judgmental im genuinely really worried.

and yes im expecting to be judged and name called…

My Dd is a bit older now, but I would have certainly wanted her to have an abortion at 15. You are a child yourself, you shouldn’t be thinking of continuing with this unless you are absolutely certain it’s what you can cope with. Parenting is hard when your 30, married, and with lots of help.

The quicker you act the easier it will be, probably just pills at this stage.

Yeah, Jesus is there until he's not. Until you're not old enough to buy calpol for your own baby. Until you don't have your own income, your own house. Don't be ridiculous.

Oh bless you. Couldn't read and run. I'm a secondary school teacher and would hope that any of my 15yo students would come to me if they found themselves in your situation. There would really be no judgment - just concern and a desire to help them find the best route. Please do have a chat to your form tutor or head of year (or a different teacher if you prefer) asap given your lack of family to talk to; they will also help you to tell family members and support you/your family with whatever next steps need to be taken.

When my friend and I had a daughter and son in your school year we helped one of their friends. My daughter and her son still don't know and I've never discussed it with anyone else.

A GP, a good sensible teacher and a mum with a similar age child are all good people to reach out to.
Like everyone on this thread we tend to be pretty approachable and then practical when we can help support someone in need.

Firstly you need to speak to someone. Could you speak with your grandmother? Or do you have a friend whose mum you could speak to. You’ll have so many thoughts in your head but your life isn’t over because you have a baby. Do what’s best for you and the baby, not anyone else. I do hope your safe op. Take your time and take some deep breaths.

That was my first thought.

However, I wouldn't want to take the risk that the post is not genuine. I so feel it necessary to treat it as if it's genuine as if not, there could well be a 15 year old pregnant girl who needs support.

Edited as I can't blinking spell 😖

15 or not this shit happens to adults too so don’t think or feel badly about it. Im sure at 15 it’s a much scarier thing to go through. First thing you need to do is tell your dad. Will he be happy? Probably not but once it sinks in he will want to help and support you no matter what. You need that help and support just now. As a teacher I find it really sad that there isn’t one adult in your school that you feel you could go to for support and possibly help you tell your dad. Please don’t go through this alone. I’m old now but something similar happened to a friend who went and had an abortion, it really affected her and in the end had to tell her parents. They were devastated that she hadn’t went to the for help through it all.

I agree it’s worth providing advice incase would hate to think of my child reaching out and nobody helping.

Not at all, who told you that nonsense?
You’ve made some bad choices, but don’t compound them by having a baby when you can’t organise your own life, let alone be a parent.
Go to your GP, get the process in place for a termination and arrange proper birth control so this doesn’t happen again.
As you are under the age of consent for sex, you may want to consider why you have slept with multiple people already. Counselling would be good to help you make better future choices.

I would make an appointment with your gp, organise a termination and get a longterm form of contraception.

You are only 15 and do not need to be responsible for a child at this age. Being a mother is a hard job at any age and you deserve to be a teenager for longer.

It's a hard choice but if you were my daughter, this is the path I would advise. Sending you support, you are young but you can put your life back on track.

I second the gp if you ask for termination pills that maybe your easiest option as it’s early on.

In your situation I do think an abortion would be best. It is not the best start in life if you have the baby. At 15 most teenagers can hardly look after themselves. You would be far better to plan having a child when you are much older and have a partner that you love in your life. You do need to tell your Dad so he can help you out. If you are going to be having sex you need to go to your doctor and be on the pill so you can prevent this situation until you actually want a baby. I would say concentrate on your schoolwork for the next few years and maybe think about finding a decent partner in future rather than having a number of partners.

When this happened to me, a wise woman said “Look, you’re allowed to make mistakes. And you’re allowed to fix those mistakes; you don’t have to live with the consequences - you can learn from this, move on and have a happy life.”

Get yourself to the GP, get the pills. I never regretted it for a second.

Same here.

You are only 15 and do not need to be responsible for a child at this age. Being a mother is a hard job at any age and you deserve to be a teenager for longer.
And being a single mother is much harder.

I don't care if this is fake or not - if someone in a similar position finds this thread in the future via a Google search or similar, then it will do some good regardless.

Oh love - you aren't the first and you won't be the last. You will not find judgement here, and anyone who does will be hounded off the thread and be deleted by admin. As someone up thread said - there but for the grace of god (i.e. it could have happened to many of us).

Realistically, although it is possible, without an incredibly strong support network it will be difficult to raise a baby on your own without it significantly impacting your life in ways you can't even begin to imagine right now. From education, health (mental and even physical), financial, etc. Do remember as well, you won't just be connected to your child for life - you will also be connected to the father, which may not necessarily be a good thing (I tell my daughter that choosing who to have a child with is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make).

A medical termination so early in the pregnancy is physically pretty straight forward, and, although of course you may struggle with the emotional/mental health aspect of it (although not necessarily), there is also support available for this as well in the form of counselling.

https://www.msichoices.org.uk - MSI (formerly Marie Stopes) can talk you through your choices, arrange for a termination if this is what you want, and also provide counselling.

I also wanted to just say something about the fact that you have said that you have been sexually active with "quite a few people". No judgement here, I myself was very sexually active in my teens and early 20s. In hindsight I realise that my self esteem was absolutely in the gutter and was desperate for love and attention - I was also raped in my early teens and my reaction was hypersexuality as a trauma response rather than avoiding sex. I'm worried that you are struggling with either an event in your past, or feelings of low self worth and esteem. It sounds as though you may have grown up without a significant female figure in your life, which I'm sure must be insanely difficult, especially as a teenage girl. Young Minds (https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/find-help/) are a charity which supports children and young people struggling with their mental health if you do feel you may be struggling.

Totally agree.

However I also think that the accuracy of pregnancy tests these days isn't helpful. When I was in my child-bearing years the tests weren't accurate until you were about 8 weeks along & missed 2 periods. So many pregnancies end before 8 weeks.

I work with young people & they come to see me saying that they're 2 weeks pregnant, I say 'how do you feel about it? Then, if they say that they want to keep the baby, I say come back after you've missed your second period & we'll talk about it'. Then, so often, they 'come on' & feel that they've lost something as had built up a plan of a life with a baby.... so sad. In my time we wouldn't have even known that we were pregnant at 2, 3 or even 6 weeks.

What I'm saying is that you may come on & have a heavy period, but you need to take action quickly while it's still at an early stage.

again edited for spelling.

Don't panic even though you probably are...At 15 you can access free advice through the nhs. You must go and see your gp, you do not need a parent with you, and everything with be confidential. Along with others, giving you advice, l too agree an abortion is the better option. It's very hard being a parent, at your age you need to be enjoying your life, going out with friends etc. You have your whole life infront of you...Please, please, go and see your gp, they are there to help and advise, and that's exactly what they will do. I wish you all the luck in the world and whatever decision you choose to make, will be the right one for you. Look after yourself 💐

Make Monday the day that you either see your GP, Brook, BPAS or any of the other organisations linked in this thread. It will mean staying off school. Will your dad notice if you don't go in?

But yes, time is of the essence, so do see someone asap.

I may be wrong but you don't sound as if you've had enough people being nice to you in your life. Please remember, you are important and you deserve the best outcomes and a great life. If people don't treat you kindly, they are the problem not you.

I echo what others have said: if there isn't a woman in your life you trust enough to talk to, make an urgent GP appointment and discuss the options with a doctor. No medical professional will judge you harshly; they are there to help and support you. Take things one step at a time.

Best of luck, OP. We're all rooting for you. xxx

OP I'm sorry you don't have any/many trusted adults in your life. That's a real shame.

I got pregnant at 15 and opted for abortion. I knew I wasn't ready to be a mum, had little support in my life, and knew the dad but also knew it wouldn't be kind for a child to have that person as a dad if that makes sense.

I don't ever regret my decision. Equally I know other women who did have a baby at this age. They said it was extremely hard but do love their children.

I think you could get help and advice locally. It's really savvy of you to post on here so I'm guessing you could maybe look up advisory services in your area?

You don't have to tell your dad if you don't feel able to. It's your body and your decision.

To make a considered decision I suggest you go to a family planning centre who can provide a more encompassing service and help you through the situation and avoid it again in the future.

But at 15 think very carefully if having a baby is in the best interest for you both.

Adoption is always an option. I've been married twice. DH1 (died when aged 32) was adopted. DH2's mother was adopted. Without adoption, neither of my lovely DH's would've have been born. I have a close friend who's DS was adopted at the age of 6 months. As I say...an option, though not one that I took.

I agree. I am usually straight onto threads that I suspect might not be the real deal. I don't particularly care with this one, whether it is or it isn't. The great advice and motherly/big sisterly support is invaluable and should be allowed to stand regardless. If this particular poster isn't genuine, so what? There will be others who are. This thread will stay in the archive and it might really help someone else. That's good enough for me.

hi .. I am so sorry you are scared and worried
could you talk to a doctor? If you are worried about telling a loved one atm .. could this help bridge the gap for you ? .. Don’t you fret now … I was at school with a girl who was pregnant at your age and she had lots of support ( 1979 ) and had the baby and lots of help and she’s absolutely loved. Please please tell any lady you trust .. It may feel like the end of the world but you WILL be ok love … there’s so much help out there now. Please keep us posted … Yes babies are hard work but they are not babies forever and at your age you will be offered lots of help … please do not take on board about terminating until you have spoken to a responsible adult .. That is something that will need counselling and lots of support … you will get through this … sending lots of positive vibes and please please tell as trusted female even if it’s a doctor first. It’s essential you do .. take care ..don’t you be be scared…. You can do this .. .. … 🌸