Just found out im pregnant at 15, what do I do?

[jazminemarie]

I just recently found out im pregnant and im 15, i genuinely don’t know what to do im really really scared about everything. I don’t know if I should even keep it. I don’t know if I should tell anyone and if I do how do I tell them? Especially my dad?? I’m really nervous and I feel so stupid and dumb for it even happening. The worst part is I don’t even know who the dad would be… please try not to be judgmental im genuinely really worried.

and yes im expecting to be judged and name called…

@TheTattooedLady , Yes - the OP probably hasn't posted before and the thread is related to a minor being sexually active.

Considerably less hard mentally than actually having a baby.
I would advise you to terminate - you don't know the father and you are very, very young, but if you decide to keep it your father and teachers will support you.
But either way see a GP, like, now.

No judgement here. Please please please do reach out to an adult in your life that you can trust. A kind teacher perhaps. They are bound to have encountered other young people in the same situation.

Speak to your GP and to services such as Brook who can advise and talk you through options. It is entirely your decision whether to keep baby or whether to terminate. Don’t let anybody dictate to you. Do what is best for you and your future. I certainly would never judge you whatever you decide to do. Nobody who is kind and empathic would judge you either. Yes some people will because some people are mean spirited and self righteous. Be kind to yourself. I wish you well x

I hope you can find someone to talk to at school. You are not the first girl to be in this position and you won't be the last.

If there is nobody in your family you can confide in, make an appointment with your doctor or call the Social Services duty number. You are under 18 and entitled to support. You will have to tell someone soon as you won't be able to hide it forever.

I'm not judging at all. We all make mistakes. Go and see your GP. The sooner you start gathering information the better and you'll probably find that once you've talked to someone else about it, it won't feel quite so bad.

I don’t know a single adult who didn’t make mistakes as a teenager. You learn from them. You’ve had some great practical advice. GP first thing on Monday is a must.

Be kind to yourself. Whatever you decide will have its emotional challenges. You can do it though. You had the strength to trust a bunch of strangers with this so you have a really strong part of you that will get you through.

sending you hugs 🤗

bless you.

But I can assure you that taking some pills now is going to be alot less hard mentally than a procedure later, or raising a child with little support.

Honestly I would absolutely reccomend you just arrange a termination as soon as you can. Its just pills and a heavy period. It's not a baby, it's barely a clump of cells.

You can do it without telling your dad if you want to, the doctors are required to protect your privacy.

Can you talk to a friends mum? I know you’ve said you feel teachers will judge you.
Are you worried your dad will be ‘just’ generally angry/ disappointed? Or are you worried about verbal or physical aggressiveness?
Firstly, think of you safety. You can talk to the GP. If you want to keep the baby, but are unable to stay at home for whatever reason, there may be mother and baby supported housing units for young mothers local-ish to you.
Will you be 16 before baby arrives?

What school year are you, OP. Because if you have exams coming up you need to address this quickly.

Please talk to someone, you need support. What about seeing one of the nurses at the doctor’s surgery? Have you seen anyone there in the past that you feel comfortable with? You mentioned your grandparents, what’s your relationship like with your grandmother, could you confide in her?
It must seem so overwhelming right now, but you’ve been really brave in reaching out here. Look after yourself, it will all work itself out

It does not become common knowledge amongst the staff. Many staff will have had previous experience in this matter.
You will need help and support whatever you decide to do.
Gentle hugs

Bless you must feel so scary but all will be okay. The best idea would be speak to a trusted adult a parent, teacher, friends parent anyone who makes you feel safe.
You can call NSPCC for confidential advice tel:0808 800 5000 0808 800 5000 might be tricky with school hours.

My sisters best friend had a baby at 15 and has always been an incredible mum, her daughter has just graduated from uni as a nurse.

I also know people who terminated when similar age to you as didn’t feel ready and like they could raise a baby.

The choice is yours just try get some support asap so you not alone with your thoughts.

good luck to you x

Was that your free choice? If so, no judgement at all.

If not though, you need to speak to a teacher if you cannot talk to your family.

Either way, multiple partners and being pregnant means you need to get to a doctor ASAP.

In your shoes, i would certainly have a termination but you are literally the only person who can make that decision

I don’t think anyone should be advising either option here. What you need to do is see the GP and arrange professional support and counselling to make the decision yourself. If it’s early you have time to think and make the right decision for you ❤️

You can get confidential help and support from the Brook Advisory Service, and/ or the British Pregnancy Advice Service, both easy to find online. This might actually be easier and quicker than going via your GP. They will offer you a sympathetic, confidential ear.

*eta: I specifically gave this option because our local GP will not make emergency appointments unless you call them during school hours, and our local school has a no phones during school hours policy. I have pointed out to a couple of our GPs how this locks young people- especially girls- out of getting confidential support, and they couldn't have been less interested 😡

Tell someone in real life as soon as possible. This pregnancy isn't going to go away without intervention. Going forward, you will need contraception after a termination. You will also need a sexual health check. Talk to your grandma or a friend's mother, or even one of the boys you have been sleeping with.

I don't mean to add to any worries but I just wanted to make sure you are in fact only 4 weeks pregnant. If you had sex 4 weeks ago then it might be more like 6 weeks pregnant, which gives you less time if you are considering the pills.

At the point you miss a period you would usually be dated at 4 weeks pregnant, or to put it another way, your pregnancy is dated from the first day of your last menstrual period.

If you are considering keeping the baby at all, it would be good if you could get some folic acid vitamins to take from now to help support healthy spinal development for the baby.

Getting an appointment with your GP, walk in centre, sexual health clinic etc is a real priority if you can manage it. Phoning 111 or talking to a teacher or school nurse might help you if you don't know where to start.

And finally do please tell your dad, nanna, or a friends' mum. I have a 14 year old and tbh I would not judge pregnancy in any one of her friends. It's a one sided risk of sex that females are forced to live with, and for many of us it would be a case of "there but for the grace of God go I" - many many women and girls are or were sexually active in secondary school. 😘

I had a baby at 14 and would not recommend it. Please see your GP ASAP; don't leave it and hope it goes away. You need to confide in an adult and make a decision.

Ah OP I'm sorry to hear that you find yourself in this position.

Please try and get an appointment with your GP asap so they can explain your options to you. At 4 weeks you do have options and time to decide what's right for you.

If you don't want to tell your dad, is there a kind teacher at school who you could confide in? Or do any of your friends have a kind and supportive mum? I'd support any of my children's friends in this situation without hesitation.

I work in a school and I know that our pastoral teams are very experienced at dealing with this situation but also very discreet (eg I couldn't name the students they've supported previously)

Do keep posting if you need more support.

No judgement.
i was having sex at 15 (albeit with 1 person and using 2 forms of contraception as I was terrified of getting pregnant)

As someone who has experience of both.... i think its fair to say a baby is significantly harder mentally than taking a tablet and having a heavy period. A baby also irreversibly changes your life....

I would get moving with a GP appointment and arrange an abortion asap. Def mon-fri next week. Explain its an emergency / time sensitive issue.

After that I would get a full STD test and review your contraceptive choices.
(Again no judgement) but you may also want to think about why you have multiple casual sexual partners to the point youndont know who the father is....maybe you truly are happy living like this... Maybe you arent and there are other underlying reasons....

If you dont want to talk to your dad or your gran(?) You dont have to but they might surprise you...
You should ideally talk to someone (if you ask the doctor they will prob be able to arrange some counselling)

Good luck.

Oh, you poor lamb! You're too young for all this. Well done for posting here - a very brave first step. Here's a purple heart - it means bravery. 💜

If it were me, I would get the abortion pill asap. Others who have had babies at your age have had mothers who practically raise the baby, but you don't have any female support, as you said. But of course, if you really want the baby, you should keep it. Totally your choice....but I think it will be super-hard to have a baby at your age.

Sending hugs xxx Everything will be all right, either way!

You must be really scared, and I’m sorry you’re in this position at such a young age. You really need some support to help you navigate what’s happening, and it needs to be an adult. If you have no trusted female adults in your life then it should either be a counsellor or family planner person (they will know what to do/what organisations or professionals you need to go to) or it needs to be your Dad. Just understand that he might be shocked and may need to absorb the information for a day or so before even he knows what to say or do. In the end, he loves you and he’s an adult and understands that sometimes ‘life’ happens. It’s good you are facing this early and not putting it off because as the pregnancy gets further along certain things can get harder. Decide who it needs to be and just do it. Be brave. You’ll be ok. Sending a hug

@jazminemarie Im quite concerned about you - 15 is very young to have so many partners you don’t know who the father is. Is everything ok?

please see your GP or speak to a trusted adult and have an abortion as quickly as possible. The sooner you deal with it the easier it will be. Nothing about this situation will be improved by delay.

Sensible post.

Op, everything can be done quickly and confidentially. Don't complicate your life unnecessarily at fifteen.

I know you must be scared right now but I presume your pregnancy is still in the very early stages so all is not lost. However don't leave it! Do something now and for goodness sakes, be more careful in future. You really are worth it!

Good luck, let us know how you get on.