Just found out im pregnant at 15, what do I do?

[jazminemarie]

I just recently found out im pregnant and im 15, i genuinely don’t know what to do im really really scared about everything. I don’t know if I should even keep it. I don’t know if I should tell anyone and if I do how do I tell them? Especially my dad?? I’m really nervous and I feel so stupid and dumb for it even happening. The worst part is I don’t even know who the dad would be… please try not to be judgmental im genuinely really worried.

and yes im expecting to be judged and name called…

It is a lot more common than you think. It happened to me when I was your age. I had some counselling at the family planning clinic. I decided that being a 16 year old single parent was too difficult and a long way from what I wanted from my life. I took the pills. It wasn’t the best day of my life but I got through it ok, and life is good. I have a family, pets, a nice home and a career I enjoy.

I told a female family friend at the time. She was gentle and supportive, not judgemental, supported me to gather my courage to tell my parents. If she rolled her eyes, she didn’t do it in front of me 😁

But if I hadn’t had her, the medical staff were still kind. They saw me as a young person in a sticky situation who they needed to help. That’s what you are too.

You’ve had some good advice already. I agree your best action would be to make an appointment with a GP and think about someone who you would feel fairly safe confiding in. Granny? Friend’s mum? A female family friend? Dad?

Brook have a lot of advice on their site if reading information about your choices feels helpful: https://www.brook.org.uk/topics/pregnancy/

Whatever you decide, you will look back on this time and feel ok about it, I promise. Make sure you don’t rush or be pressured by others. Do what feels right for you. 💐

Don't be silly. This is a girl in crisis with no mother figure. Where would be a better place for her to go on the Internet for some motherly advice. Op's generation tend to go to the Internet first.

She's had some good advice already and I hope she takes it, particularly the advice to tell a trusted adult IRL

I've worked in schools for 30 years. Teachers will feel for a 15 year old girl who is pregnant and want to support them.

It's not the same as mitching lessons or dossing around in class and we know that

Make a GP appointment, you can request a female GP if you’d be more comfortable.

When did you get a positive test? If you’re about 4 weeks you must have only just found out. Did you suspect you may be pregnant before your period was late?

After you’ve had a termination go back to your GP to get contraception sorted.

Three options OP - abortion, adoption or keeping the baby.

All three options can be right for different people, all three options have the potential to hold some level of regret.

If you are morally opposed to abortion, or just don't feel it's right for you, then there are all sorts of open or closed adoptions now.

If you know in your heart you want to raise the baby, then however hard it may be that's what you should do.

If you simply wish this all to be over and make it stop, don't want a baby or to be pregnant, abortion is your answer.

You must take the time to make the right decision, but be very aware that these are the only three options, and waiting to decide can make the choices harder.

No judgement from me either sweetheart, but I'm concerned about your well-being. Of the people you've slept with, what's their general age do you think?

And how did you meet them?

School nurse is a great idea

Pills at this stage would be the “least hard” option out of all the options & choices ahead of you.

big breath @jazminemarie - one thing at a time. You need GP appointment & quick

big hug

@jazminemarie
I’d second what people said about trusted adults, please don’t think you’ll be judged it happens a lot and I’m sure the teachers will help you and support you. Do you have a pastoral team at your school??

I’ve known my friends and friends daughters who’ve got pregnant really young, a couple have kept the baby but have had a huge amount of family support, but then a good few have had terminations too - it’s a personal decision.

Either way, this is your body and your choice - having a baby with a partner and being established in a loving relationship is very hard (I know having 3 kids myself!) so I can imagine it would be very difficult without the right support.

Which part of the uk are you in? X

Hi OP.
I was pregnant at 16. My daughter is 12 now. I still managed college and university.
Please tell your parents - their reactions may surprise you. But more importantly they can support you.
it us up to you how you proceed. Do what feels right and don’t let anyone pressure you.
Please look into the ‘Lifehouse Charity’
There are also education grants which will help you with childcare. There are so many grants and there is a lot of support out there, you just have to search for it.
Please feel free to ask me anything.

OP - you don't have to tell anyone if you decide to end this pregnancy.

If you were my daughter i would give you a big hug, and hope that you would choose to terminate, and then support you to reclaim your life.

You can access free confidential NHS termination care via your GP or BPAS or maybe a provider in your area. They should also support you with counselling care in respect of your age.

I would not be telling any of the boys / men because you don't seem to know them well enough to trust them to be fully confidential, and none care about you enough to have used condoms. You may not have friends who are trustworthy either.

Be quick, get help fast, and you'll be fine on your own.

If its the right decision termination does not have to be emotionally / psychologically difficult at all.

Then, look forwards, and take care of yourself.

Please go to the GP as soon as you can. Also is there a school nurse service? They may be able to provide support but not share with your teachers.

Oh love, even if you’ve sometimes had run ins with teachers at school a good teacher won’t be thinking about any of that if you approach them with this. Think of which teacher you think is most sensible and caring, it doesn’t have to be someone who currently teaches you, and ask to talk to them privately. You will feel so much better when you’ve got someone in real life to talk to about your options and support. No one can pressure you into anything. Look up what’s actually happening at 4 weeks, for some people taking a pill at that stage is genuinely no big deal, it’s your decision but you need knowledge and support. Take care of yourself.

Btw im not ignoring if i dont reply to you all, im taking every suggestion very seriously and im overwhelmed with how nice everyone is being so thank you x

Brook Advisory Service often have drop in clinics and are in many parts of the UK. Their services are specifically aimed at young people. It might be worth checking whether there is one near.

@NeedyLemonCat shameful post, you're better off not commenting at all.

Op ignore this poster, there will always be nasty judgemental people in life but don't take their comments to heart.

@jazminemarie no one here is going to be nasty to you or judge you. We have all been teenage girls and we know life is complicated so we are concerned about you.

You don’t need to decide TODAY what you want to do about this pregnancy. But you DO need to make an appointment to get advice early next week. Because whatever you decide, you need medical input right away. This is VERY IMPORTANT so please don’t delay.

If you decide you want a termination of pregnancy ( abortion ) , you can only do this at home with pills up to 9 weeks. After that you will have to go into a hospital or clinic. So you need to move fast as you don’t know how many weeks pregnant you are ( which is very common for girls in your situation ).

Even if you go this route , you need sexual health advice and contraception so make sure you don’t have another unwanted pregnancy and to keep you safe from STI.

If you decide to continue with the pregnancy ( and keep the baby or place for adoption ) , you need medical care to keep you and your baby safe and well. Again you need this asap, you need to take folic acid ( pills ) every day until you are 12 weeks.

Obviously it’s a huge decision to go ahead with the pregnancy ,and you would need a lot of adult help and support . Ideally this would be your family but if that’s not possible , social services would place you in a foster family who could support you now and after the baby is born . Before you choose this option, you’d need to be sure you understand as much as possible about what this would involve for you and your baby for the next 20 years.

Im afraid there are no easy decisions here - every option is tough emotionally and you will feel sad and guilty whatever you choose.

Please try to contact one of the brook clinics this weekend - some have helplines.

Please phone your GP on MONDAY MORNING and ask for an urgent appointment - usually you can get a phone appointment that day. Then the Gp will get you in to see you face to face , probably the next day. They will do medical checks and talk you through your options.

Yes you can go to this appointment alone. It woudo be better to have a trusted adult to support you in this, such as a guidance and pupil support teacher or a friends mum or your gran . But if you don’t want that, it’s your choice.

Yes you will probably have to miss school to go to an urgent appointment so you will need to tell the school something. If you don’t want to tell this school the truth, It’s better to lie to the school about the reason for the appointment than to delay because you are embarrassed.

The most important thing now is to act FAST, to keep your options open.

Even if your period comes in the next few days , please still see the doctor , you need contraception and advice to ensure this doesn’t happen again.

You've done the right thing coming to Mn for advice , you just need to pluck up all your courage and get RL support early next week.

@NeedyLemonCat That’s really unhelpful. You know nothing of the OP and you don’t know the circumstances of the conception.

How about your Grandma if not do you have a close friend who’s mother you feel you could confide in otherwise I am sure there is someone at school- adult who you could talk things through with.
Childline. www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/friends-relationships-sex/sex-relationships/pregnancy/
https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/having-a-baby/
Good luck with whatever path you choose and accept any help and support you are offered because you will need it.

Another voice here not judging. You sound scared and alone but very brave, and so clever of you to find this online forum full of women who want to support and help you. This is just the right place to ask for advice

I too was having sex at 14, luckily i didn't get pregnant but i did take the morning after pill a couple of times, which isn't really all that different from taking the termination pills.

You've already been incredibly brave to come here and be so honest , take the next step and get some medical help from a GP or women's health clinic. Sooner rather than later.

Come back here for support any time xx

Am I crazy, or did this thread get deleted and then reappear?

@TheTattooedLady , it got paused so that the MN people could check it.

Ah okay. I haven’t seen that before but it makes sense.

I think you’ll find most of the people you’d deal with in person would be the same - be that a gp or pastoral care at school.
You’re really not the first and it needn’t shape/ spoil the rest of your life