Just found out im pregnant at 15, what do I do?

[jazminemarie]

I just recently found out im pregnant and im 15, i genuinely don’t know what to do im really really scared about everything. I don’t know if I should even keep it. I don’t know if I should tell anyone and if I do how do I tell them? Especially my dad?? I’m really nervous and I feel so stupid and dumb for it even happening. The worst part is I don’t even know who the dad would be… please try not to be judgmental im genuinely really worried.

and yes im expecting to be judged and name called…

Oh darling - I so feel for you. I got pregnant when just 16 shortly after taking my O'levels & on the track for A'levels, uni etc. I had a termination as I knew I was far too young to be a mum.

Unlike you, I had a mum, but it was my dad who I went to as my mum was a committed Roman Catholic & I knew strongly disapproved of abortion. It was difficult, as like you, I was embarrassed & felt like I'd let everyone down. But I asked him if we could go for a walk, just the 2 of us as I had something that I needed to discuss.

So we went on the walk, he said 'are you going to tell me that you're pregnant?' I just burst into tears & said 'yes'. He was great. We talked it through, discussed all options of me having the baby & bringing it up with their help, having it adopted, termination etc.

Eventually he said that he would deal with my mum & everything would be good - which it was.

Talk to a teacher or another person who you trust. There's also Childline who will be able to help you.

Good luck darling.

This is one of those moments in life where you can’t just let life happen. YOU need to make some active choices. If you go ahead with this it will be the first of many of these moments.

If my 15yo told me she was pregnant I’d not be best pleased but I’d get over it. So I’m going to say if telling your dad is too hard every other thing you do from here on in will be harder with a kid. And you will need to be made of steel to not let this be the defining moment of the rest of your life.

If you weren’t pregnant what did you imagine the next 5 years would look like? GCSEs, A’levels, Uni? Apprenticeship?

Personally I’d hope you take a pill and this was a lesson learnt. No more unprotected sex ever. You need to protect yourself and your baby if you choose to keep it.

But it will be harder having a baby. And much worse to have a surgical abortion later.

had a near miss at 18. Lucky it was negative.

go get a copper coil or something else asap. It’ll save you in the long run

Ok, take a breath OP…….you're not the first and you certainly won’t be the last. I understand that you’re scared but you really do need to talk to someone. Is there a pastoral lead at school? Have you considered talking to your GP? Is there an advisory health clinic nearby?
It does sound like it is early days and you do have options. As another pp has mentioned, could you speak to a friend’s mum?
You are not alone in this and there shouldn’t be any judgment here…..certainly not from me! Sending hugs and hope you get the support you need.

This isn’t reading as a 15 year old would write

In what way?

You poor thing...it must be scary and overwhelming to find yourself in this position.

Have you an supportive women in your life? An older cousin? Aunt? School nurse? Youth support worker? A friend's mum?

If not, make a GP appointment as soon as possible? They'll be able to confirm who far along are you and discuss your options.

It’s not how 15 year olds speak , I have one myself and and interact with his friends .. This has not been written by a 15 year old . I’ve reported the thread so it can be looked at .

@jazminemarie I had my first child at 18, pregnant at 17. You need to speak to someone you trust in real life, a teacher or something. Please don't listen to random people on the internet opinions on what you should do.

@pavillion1 , MN has had a look at it already.
There are no other posts by OP.

@givemecuptea , there's a big difference between 15 and 17/18. The advice has mainly been to see the doctor asap.

I’m a teacher and I’ve been told by 3 separate girls that they feared they were pregnant. One girl, we bought the kit for her before supporting her in telling her parents.

We don’t ever judge.

Do you have that one teacher you can talk to? You need real life support and while everyone on this thread are behind you all the way, it’ll be so much better for you to tell someone.

Anyone who would judge and call a 15 year old child names is simply beneath contempt.

I hope you can find a trusted adult to talk to soon x

You should not be miss-judged or name called, you deserve better than that.

Now is the time to get support, speak to those you are closest to first.

Hi @jazminemarie are you planning on having a termination ? If not, how will you provide housing and clothes and baby items for your baby?

Also if you are seriously considering termination then PLEASE do not allow yourself to be frightened or pressured by scare stories from people who will tell you how awful it will be and how you will never get over it. They are in the minority and they often have a complicated agenda of their own. For most women, providing they went into a termination for the right reasons, and not because they were forced or coerced, can move on from an early abortion feeling nothing more than relief. Believe me, there is plenty to regret about having a baby you are not ready for, especially when you have so little female support in your life.

Post-termination you might feel a bit emotionally mixed up for a little while afterwards, but that's just your hormones adjusting to being pregnant and then suddenly not being. They will be all over the place for a while. It's completely normal and will pass. It's important you understand that is not a sign that you made a terrible mistake.

Then you can move on with the life you deserve to have in your teens, free of worry and responsibility, able to focus on your education, your friends, boyfriends and a future full of endless possiblities. There are many years ahead of you for having a baby, when you are properly ready.

If there was the chance that this could be fake it wouldn't matter. It is way more important that a young girl who might need help gets it. I sincerely hope the thread does not get taken down.

All the random people on the Internet have told her to do exactly that.

If you were my daughter - I’d take you to a GP to get a referral to get a pill to end the pregnancy. You do not want to have a child at 15.

Since that is not an option for you - go to a local sexual health clinic. They’ll send you to get the pill and most likely wont tell your dad.
But even if they do - it’s still better than him later finding out you are having a baby at your age.

Mistakes happen to even grown up women. Pills exist to help resolve it. It’s better to have a child when you are ready one day.
So - don’t worry about anything and do what os best foe you now.

There's some good advice on here.
I would also speak to a teacher. You will know, from PSHE, assemblies and tutor times, that there are staff trained to help in such circumstances. There are designated Pastoral, Child Protection and Safeguarding staff. There is nothing they haven't heard before, and their job is to support you. No judgement!
So please, on Monday, look at all the posters around the school telling you how to access support and advice, or ask for a pastoral referral from your FT, and speak to someone.

Get an urgent appointent with a nice GP, Don't be put off and told to wait a long time to see someone. You need to unburden yourself soon to the right person. A doctor will know to keep this confidential, so you can start to get over the shock and think more clearly what you want to do. I wouldn't advise confiding at this stage to a friend or anyone of similar age to yourself. Find a sympathetic adult - a woman doctor may be your best bet intially. Take OP. Lots of us on here thinking positive of you and for you.

@pavillion1 my 16 yo daughters would speak / write like this. Just because your 15 yo doesn't, doesn't mean this isn't real. It might of course not be, but if it is real (or this thread is found by another 15 year old in this situation) isn't it better it's left up?

OP -- others have given you loads of good advice. School nurse / teacher are all good shouts; and get to a GP and let them know.

Sending you a hand hold.

I had my eldest child at 16. That conversation with my mother was horrendous. She put heavy pressure on me to abort. I refused. He is 33 this year, and always been the apple of grandma’s eye. It didn’t ruin my life like everyone said, love him to bits. I have a well paid career and I proved them all wrong. You can too. No-one can make telling your parent easier, but he may over-react, but give him time. Whatever your decision, it’s your choice. Don’t let anyone pressurise you.

exactly. The advice still counts for all the other young ladies who find themselves in this position. I wish I had the internet 33yrs ago. Instead I had some good friends, who are still my good friends today. They got me through.

No judgement here at all, but please speak to someone and think really seriously about an abortion. You don't have to have a child, and in some sense you owe it to yourself to have qualifications, a life and a home before you seriously start thinking about bringing a child into the world. It's a quick procedure, and then you can focus on yourself. The minute you have a child you're always second - but you're so young that you deserve that opportunity to put yourself first. Enjoy life, explore, get yourself grounded. If you're having unprotected sex with multiple boys it doesn't sound like you have a stable home life of your own really, break the cycle. I really wish you the best. 💐