What do you wish someone had told you before giving birth?

[MamaReadyUK]

I was chatting with a friend who’s currently pregnant and it made me realise how much you only really learn after you’ve been through it.

What do you wish someone had told you before giving birth? Could be practical, emotional, or even something funny.

I was glad someone told me it’s normal to sweat a lot afterwards. The body is getting rid of lots of extra liquid - I was literally deflating! 😂 I’m glad I knew and therefore wasn’t too concerned!

How much you bleed
That every midwife will.give you different advice and they don't listen
That you can say you want a second opinion from a doctor
Birth is over relatively quickly, breastfeeding if it doesn't work for you can be very painful for weeks and weeks.

Haha that’s such a good one 😂 and not something people talk about enough! I’d definitely have panicked if I didn’t know that was normal too.
Thank you for sharing.

Have an epidural

bring food

Sounds ridiculous, but how to use the gas and air correctly for maximum use.

Yes definitely the body ejecting fluids bit. Pooing during birth (nice), puking after birth (or maybe it was the vitamin k (?) injection), night sweats for days after birth, bleeding for days/weeks after birth - all completely normal but quite a lot to deal with when you also have a new little life to care for.

Bring earplugs (to block out other people's husbands snoring), an eye mask (for the light they never switch off), and expect it to be completely boiling hot so have lightweight clothes. Also snacks, drinks, a phone charger, tissues, and painkillers.

Honestly, all of this 💔

The bleeding part really shocks so many people, and the breastfeeding bit especially doesn’t get talked about enough, people expect birth to be the hard part, then it’s over, but recovery and feeding can be tough for weeks. And you’re so right about second opinions too, more people need to know they can ask.

Thank you for sharing.

For me, that pushing will be the hardest thing you ever do.

Because then you know that! And you're ready for it. It's not a bad thing, it's just really hard.

And then you won't feel bad when you find it hard.

Honestly yes to both 😂 Epidural can be an absolute lifesaver for some people, and the food thing is so underrated, nobody tells you how hungry you’ll be after!

Yes to this. Also that it won’t necessarily get worse. With DS1 my first contraction was as strong as my last one, I got so scared of the pain I thought was to come that everything went out of the window and hurt much more. When the pushing stage started I felt much better as it felt more purposeful and I knew it would be over soon.

With DS2 I wound say that I’d wish I’d known how lovely it could be and how powerful I’d feel afterwards.

May be wishful thinking but - to stay as healthy and fit as possible during pregnancy as it will really help with giving birth. Also to push with the contractions and not be scared to “let go”: I was so scared having my first that I think I held back from pushing and ended up having to have an episiotomy and ventouse delivery bc baby got into trouble as I’d been in labour so long.

I would say “listen to what your body is telling you to do”.

Also, gravity is your friend! I bounced on an exercise ball for much of dc 2’s labour and he came out really quick and relatively easy - the difference between 1st and 2nd was massive.

Just go for an elective c section.

Not ridiculous at all, this is such a good one! So many people aren’t shown properly and then feel like it “doesn’t work”. Timing and breathing technique make a huge difference.

I wish someone had mentally prepared me about piles as they were so much worse than my second degree tear 🥴

Honestly yes to ALL of this, nobody really prepares you for how much the body goes through afterwards. The sweats, the bleeding, the fluids, all of it is completely normal but can feel so overwhelming when you’re also learning to care for a newborn. Thank you for being so honest about it.

This is such a good list 👏 The heat, the noise, the lights, no one warns you! Earplugs and an eye mask are genius. And YES to snacks, charger and comfy clothes… absolute essentials.

You can’t buy too many maternity sanitary towels.

This is such an important way of putting it. It is incredibly hard, but knowing that in advance makes such a difference mentally.

It’s not something you’re failing at, it’s just genuinely one of the hardest physical things the body does. Thank you for explaining it so honestly.

Honestly… nobody warns you enough about this part 🥴 And you’re so right, for some people they’re worse than the tear itself. Postnatal recovery really needs way more honest conversations.

That you don't, necessarily, instantly feel a wave of love for your newborn baby the moment they are born. I expected to but, in reality, just felt emotionally numb both times. For me, the overwhelming feeling of love for them built gradually over the following days (weeks).

And this is such a valid choice too. A calm, planned birth where you feel in control and safe is just as important as how the baby arrives.

This is such a great perspective. Listening to your body is so underrated, and yes, gravity is definitely your friend!

It’s amazing how different births can be when you’re able to move, change positions and go with what your body is telling you.

No-one will give a solitary shit* about how you gave birth, they’ll all just want to cuddle the baby. So, if you want a c section, do it. If you want all the drugs, have them. If you want a water birth, wallow away in that pool Mama.

Also, it’s ok if you don’t want to breastfeed. It really is. It’s also ok if you really do want to breastfeed and it’s a struggle.

*you will be expected to have done a solitary shit before you’re allowed home though

I love how you’ve described this. Fear really does change everything, and you’re so right, the pushing stage often feels more purposeful and more “this will be over soon”.

And I completely agree, that powerful feeling afterwards is something people don’t talk about enough. Thank you for sharing both experiences.