What do you wish someone had told you before giving birth?

[MamaReadyUK]

I was chatting with a friend who’s currently pregnant and it made me realise how much you only really learn after you’ve been through it.

What do you wish someone had told you before giving birth? Could be practical, emotional, or even something funny.

Do your research on all options before giving birth. You might plan for whale music and candles but you might change your mind and want an epidural when the time comes. It if you know what it can involve then you might feel a bit more prepared. Same for gas and air, pethidine, forceps, episiotomy etc. I wish I had know more about all of these rather than reading mostly about breathing techniques.

Also to go with the flow once the baby arrives. Some are clingy and some aren't and go with whatever makes you and your baby happy.

This is such good advice. Being informed gives you confidence, but being flexible protects your headspace.

Birth rarely goes exactly to plan, and that’s okay, and babies definitely come with their own personalities from day one! 😂

This is so true 😅 Nobody warns you just how much you’ll need.

This one definitely deserves to be said louder for people at the back.

I wish I’d known I could refuse pain relief. I knew when I had my second and it was a much better experience.

Thank you for saying this. It’s so normal but hardly talked about.

So many parents think something is “wrong” with them when actually that bond can grow gradually and beautifully over time.

Vitamin K is for the baby, you likely mean the syntometrine the injection to help you deliver the placenta. It very commonly can make women feel sick or vomit

After pains, which are worse after second and subsequent pregnancies.

A Latvian woman I knew had one baby in Latvia and the next one in the UK. She told me that in Latvia they put a bag of ice on your stomach after the birth to contract the uterus and she was shocked it didn't happen here. Has anyone had this?

I love this so much, and it’s so true. The only thing that really matters is that you and baby are safe and supported.

And yes, feeding choices and birth choices are your choices. Also… that last line made me laugh way too much 😂

Mine would be prepare for breastfeeding/postnatal more, birth is one part of it and I’m glad I did lots of prep but I was very underprepared for what a newborn feeding was like and how to be sure the baby was getting enough milk.

To bring soft trousers to go home in. I only had jeans and everything was very tender, jeans were not comfortable on my poor bruised undercarriage! Second time I had comfy jogging bottoms!

Very correct, it is called ‘Syntometrine’. Usually useful in the 3rd stage of labour.

Thank you for the correction 😊

Skull a can of full fat coke as soon as baby out to prevent shakes

This is such an important one. You always have a choice, whether that’s yes to pain relief or no.

I’m so glad your second experience felt more in your control. Feeling listened to and empowered makes such a huge difference.

After pains really do catch people out, and yes, they’re often stronger after second and subsequent births because the uterus is contracting back down again.

The ice pack practice is really interesting! Different countries definitely do things differently. Here it’s less routine, but the goal is the same: helping the uterus contract and reduce bleeding.

That giving birth in hospital may mean you're completely ignored and you need to be strong in advocating for yourself.

And also, that you have the weirdest body odour in the early days but this is normal!

That breastfeeding can be incredibly difficult and just because it is a natural thing doesn’t mean it will come easily.

That other people in the ward can be incredibly inconsiderate.

How incredibly stressed and anxious I would be immediately postpartum!

It’s been 23 years since I gave birth and I was young but I had know idea how big the placenta was until it came out.
I threw up and then fainted after, apparently common but I had no clue.
Also the after pain of your body contracting back to normal.

This is SUCH a big one. So many people prepare for the birth and not enough for the days and weeks after.

Feeding a newborn can be intense, emotional and exhausting, and it’s a huge learning curve. You’re definitely not alone in feeling that way.

To refuse iron tablets and insist on a transfusion for blood loss/anaemia. The resulting constipation and eventual poo was worse than childbirth

Practical advice that should be in every hospital bag list 😅 Comfort is everything after birth. Soft, loose, high-waisted clothes are an absolute must, your body has been through a LOT.

That postpartum afterpains are a real thing days after you’ve given birth 🤣 whilst it might feel like you’re in labour again and worried they missed one, it’s actually your womb contracting back into shape! God I wish someone had warned me about that. I was utterly convinced I was in for round 2!

All I remember is the endless (and super positive) talk about ‘contractions’ with the result that I was completely shocked and unprepared for the intense, huge waves of pain that kept on coming.
I was fobbed off when asking for an epidural — ‘they’re all busy, it won’t be much longer now, you’re nearly through the worst … it’s too late now. ‘
It felt as if they really didn’t want me to have one.

I never knew that it felt like you were needing to go for a poo when the baby is ready to come out.

I also didn’t know until recently that you could have an elective c-section - I wish I knew that beforehand.

Have an epidural!
I waited too long and couldn’t have it so I had no pain relief and was induced.

This is actually such a common experience, the shaking after birth can be intense and really surprising. It’s usually adrenaline, hormones and exhaustion all crashing together.

Sugar and fluids can definitely help, but most of all reassurance that it’s normal.

That very fast labours can and do happen, my DD was born in an ambulance en route to hospital.