What do you wish someone had told you before giving birth?

[MamaReadyUK]

I was chatting with a friend who’s currently pregnant and it made me realise how much you only really learn after you’ve been through it.

What do you wish someone had told you before giving birth? Could be practical, emotional, or even something funny.

This is such an honest list. The amount of blood really shocks people, no one prepares you for that at all. And yes, waters don’t always break at the start like in films, sometimes it’s right at the end! Fast first labours definitely happen too, which also isn’t talked about enough. Thank you for sharing this 🤍

This is SUCH an important one to talk about. So many people don’t realise how common tears and stitches are, and how swollen and sore everything can be afterwards. And you’re so right, nobody really explains that you won’t walk out feeling the same as you walked in. The disposable underwear tip is brilliant too. Thank you for being so honest about this 🤍

Pregnancy is very unpredictable 💔

Has nobody cottoned on to this OP’s responses all being AI? Seems like it’s farming for information…

This is such an important one to talk about. The shaking can be really scary if you’re not expecting it, but it’s actually very common after birth. I’m sorry no one warned you, thank you for mentioning it, this will really reassure a lot of people 🤍

This is basically a survival guide 👏 The jug tip alone deserves to be shouted from the rooftops. And yes to resting, boundaries, freezer meals and visitors helping instead of being hosted. Such brilliant, practical advice. Thank you for sharing 🤍

I promise I’m very real 😅 I work in the healthcare sector and I started this thread because I genuinely wanted to hear people’s experiences and share reassurance where I can. I’m replying to a lot of comments so I’m keeping my responses short and consistent, but there’s no hidden agenda here, just trying to support and learn from everyone’s stories.

This made me smile because it’s so true 😂

Everything feels so slow when you’re exhausted and vulnerable. And the diary/note idea is lovely, you really do forget so much of those early days. Thank you for this 🤍

This is so important. You know your own body better than anyone else. I’m really sorry you weren’t listened to, sadly it happens far too often. And you’re so right, advocating for yourself is especially hard the first time when everything is new. Thank you for sharing this, it will help a lot of people feel more confident to speak up 🤍

I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences here. There are so many replies now that I can’t possibly respond to everyone individually, but please know that I have been reading them all.

Honestly, this thread has been incredibly moving, powerful and eye-opening. There is so much here that people aren’t routinely warned about, the physical stuff, the emotional stuff, the shock of it all, the recovery, the hormones, the wards, the after pains, the bleeding, the stitches, the fear, the relief… everything and so much more.

Reading through all of this, I can’t help but think how different so many experiences might feel if more of these things were talked about openly beforehand and properly explained and supported by healthcare professionals in the moment. Sometimes even just being told “this is normal” or “this will pass” can make such a huge difference when you’re in the middle of it.

What do you think?

Thank you all so much for being so honest and open. Threads like this are exactly why these conversations matter.

My mum passed on some words of wisdom her midwife gave her when she was having me. She was feeling overwhelmed worrying that she was doing everything wrong and would be a terrible mum (she is an incredible mum!) and the midwife said: “Our children grow up in spite of us, not because of us.” I loved that.

On another note this AI is freaking me out.

Yes, why is ChatGPT running the thread? It's quite disrespectful to real people sharing their lived experiences.

Yes it all feels a bit fake. Hoping it’s just a real person who uses AI to write, but then I’m naive.

That it’s normal to get the ‘shakes’ and be sick!

This is sensible advice but it's also the kind of thing that made me feel pretty down especially in my first pregnancy -- I was v. ill in all my pregnancies, spent months in hospital and I was in a wheelchair for the final months of two of them. Totally the opposite of fit and healthy. But I still had really straightforward labours and births all three times. My body overreacted massively to pregnancy but it was actually pretty good at labour.

Ugh, just replied in good faith but then just saw the obvious AI post from the "OP". Yuck!

Hard agree!!!

That first pee after STINGS

Definitely!! And this usually can happen up until 8 weeks.

Thank you for sharing

The day three tears! Also that advocating for yourself in the maternity ward doesn’t mean asking nicely and being polite but standing your bloody ground and threatening to report people for not doing their job.

Piles are normal!! And awful! But most people do get them & never talk about it!! It winds me up that we are too prude about it!

Oh gosh, the day three tears are so real 😭 and yes, you’re so right about advocating for yourself. I think a lot of us are raised to be nice patients and not make a fuss, especially when we’re exhausted, sore and emotional, but sometimes you really do have to stand your ground and be very clear about what you need.

So thank you for sharing 😊

I’m not AI lovely. Like I mentioned earlier, I work in healthcare and I see these situations every day.

I’m reading all of the replies and learning from them. My aim is simply to share advice, start honest conversations, and hopefully help someone feel a bit more prepared or less alone.

So please, disengage, if it’s not for you. Thank you.

Honestly the biggest one is advocate for yourself. If your gut is telling you something then maybe it’s best to listen to it.

You are allowed to say no once you find out the risks and you’re allowed to ask for other options if the one you’ve been given makes you feel uneasy or unsure.

I tried to push for an elective c section due to my son’s heart rate but I was pressured to take the induction route. 24 hours into my induction and my sons heart rate sky rocketing and the likely hood of an emergency c section on the cards, I asked the doctor for an elective at 3am whilst in tears.

My c section was a beautiful experience and I kick myself for trying the induction. I am glad I advocated for myself in the end.

That giving birth is one of the most horrendous things you will ever do, although the end result is worth it. Also, don’t believe the people who say you forget the pain and general horror of being in labour and giving birth - no-one I knew ever forgot any of it, and that’s why I never considered having a second baby. I also hated every second of being pregnant - from being sick multiple times every day for nine months to looking like a beached whale towards the end.