anyone else pregnant with loads of kids already?? feelin bit judged ngl

[Chattymum23]

hi all not sure if i should post this but here goes

i’m 8+4 with baby no.5 (all boys 😅) n tbh i feel like everyone thinks i’m a joke. haven’t even told half the fam cos i know what they’ll say. last time i told my mum i was preg she rolled her eyes n said “again?” 😔

i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now n i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic

i’m knackered n got sickness bad but still doin school runs n sortin all the meals n tantrums. nursery called again yday bout my 4yo n i just cried in the loo after

anyone else got a biggish family n feel like ppl look down on you? not after a row just want to feel a bit less alone

My comment ended up more general than just aimed at you sorry. So many on here do think that two parents working full-time as lawyers in London with kids in daycare is the pinnacle of existence and god forbid a mother work part time around the school runs even if dad works full-time.
The overton window truly has changed twenty years ago parents were considered lazy bums if mum and dad both didn't work, now if mum and dad both aren't working themselves to the bone every hour god sends they're considered a family of lazy bums raising kids doomed to also be lazy bums.

Honestly I think a lot of these people project because they don't actually like putting their kids in daycare all day but are too stubborn to take the hit to their career that would result from going part time. Which is understandable in a way

Congratulations 🥳 I and my husband have five children all planned.i have heard it all,haven’t we a tv etc etc,down to my own dad saying I need to get my tubes tied:(I work and my husband works the youngest is now 14.its hard work especially when your family have never helped.but i wouldn’t have it any other way.all the very best to you xx

Hi

I have 5 children - 1 boy aged 18 and then 4 girls aged 14, 8, 6 and 1. Feel judged all of the time but honestly we are all healthy and happy, people need to learn to be kind and each to their own! My partner and I both work full time pay for own all childcare etc. Good luck and enjoy!

If only people would focus their anger on tax dodging billionaires instead of trying to bully a vulnerable woman into having a termination against her will. We all have a responsibility to behave ourselves when interacting with other humans.

I have 5 children. Last was twins. I have had people say to me rather you than me, are you catholic, did you cancel sky sports!!
we both work (I do 4 days not 5 tho) and our house runs well but it’s never perfect. They argue with each other and we have the tantrums but I absolutely love my large family set up. We have strong house rules and boundaries.
OP congratulations, hold your head high and ignore the judgemental people. People need to ensure their own ships are in order before commenting on others.

Honest question, how on earth can you afford 5 children? My DD and SIL would love another baby (they have one) but even though they both work full time they cannot afford another one.
Luckily they don’t have to pay child care as I’m around for them to use when needed but they still can’t factor in another child.

I love when people just say- you have options. Like having an abortion is the easiest thing in the world 🙄 it’s not

First off hi ,
congratulations on your pregnancy.
i don't no why people Are so judgemental on larger families. I have 5 children ranging from 13 to 2 , DH died when I was pregnant with my last child. I still always get people say oh you've been busy haven't you. Or didnt you have a TV. I don't rely on any family to have them, i don't allow my oldest to babysit, I literally do everything by myself. We are financially stable though. I always feels like that takes abit of pressure off. People always ask how I manage with them all on my own but I suppose when he died I had no choice. I no people who are struggling with just 1 or 2 children. I think what I'm trying to say is you learn to cope. And society I'm not fully sure why ppl don't like big family's x

Agree with peri genuinely don’t understand how you afford it either. Cost of living has sent food prices so high your supermarket bills will be mad. Also childcare. Tutors for subjects they struggle with. Extra curricular hobbies. University costs.

Having children means a huge outlay we are decent earners stopped at 2 having 5 would be so tough for us unless we lived a really basic life which we wouldn’t want.

Ditto
Who is paying for the upkeep of all these children?

In your situation I would worry now on earth you can afford it.

Five children is a lot to bring up and love in my opinion
If you have a well paid job and a husband or partner also does fair enough but in my experience not every child is treated equally
Does the state pay you to support a selfish lifestyle

It's free, essentially on request and at 8 weeks you can get the pills in the post. How could it be easier?

I don’t judge people who can afford large families but I do judge people who have large families and expect the state to fund it which I guess is what you are doing. I stopped at 3 children because I knew even working full time I could not afford to bring another child into the world. If this is what you are doing then yes I will judge

I don’t think any of them will be troubling a university in later life.

OP what did you really expect? If your own family who know your situation far more intimately than us, are disapproving of your choices then it’s no surprise most people think this is really irresponsible. You admit that you don’t have much money, you don’t have a stable partner living with you and the kids, you don’t work full time and you are struggling with behaviour issues with your youngest. How is a new baby adding anything positive to an already chaotic life? You do realise that you will not receive any additional benefits to raise this child which means you are directly taking money from your existing kids to fund the new one? That is selfish. I’m not necessarily advocating for an abortion, adoption is an option too but you seem so passive in your own life, like these things just happen to you rather than you making active choices. You needs to have a serious think about how YOU (and the children’s father/s) are going to fund and support all your kids with out additional state help. A part time cleaning job isn’t going to cut it I’m afraid.

Wow! Poor dad lol

Wow all these judgemental posts! You clearly stated you didnt want to argue (and i assume this means that people have totally missed the point that your looking for support here) but some people just cant help themselves but be unkind.

Firstly a big congratulations on your pregnancy! I am also a mother to 4 son's so i feel the judgment in peoples eyes when they look and my family! My hubby loves to troll people when they think its their business to tell me their opinions and ask do we need a bigger tv, points out we have an 80" (we dont) and that we are attempting to make our own rugby team (again we're not) but gotta love their pearl clutching!

I was on various forms of contraception with each of my pregnancies, non planned! I have my first on the inplant! Second on the injection (6 weeks into a 12 week one, second jab it just decided to not work) tried the pill (we had our 3rd) and at the 4th we where back to a different pill! Haha people told me i had options, i reminded them to shove their options.

The kids are love? Fed? Clothed? Go to school? Brought up with love and respect? I dont see the issue with a big family! Our grandparents had large families full of love and laughter!

I can understand the judgement people give you and sympathise. I think if you can cope with the ones that you have got, financially & mentally and everything inbetween and you would like another then go for it. If you’re unsure about coping, then look at your options. If you’re only 8 weeks? Then you have a couple of weeks to decide what you want to do.

I’ve just had a termination, as I fell pregnant with my youngest only being 7 months (and my middle not even being 2 yet) and it’s just not the right time- not an easy decision to make, as I like you want a big family but only you know how you feel deep down.

unfortunately people will judge you, but only you know how you’re coping day to day. At the end of the day, only you know what is best for you and your little family. I agree with others though, consider contraceptives moving forwards if this situation isn’t one you want to find yourself in again. Xx

My boyfriend’s mum was a single mum with 5 kids, and was judged a lot. But those boys all speak so lovingly about their mum as adults, she was doing something right.
once you’re happy, and can look after your children, it’s nobodies business how many you have x

Circumstances are important. If you are in a loving relationship and able to support the children with no government help it’s fine. However, if you are alone, children have different fathers who don’t support and you rely on benefits from the government, paid for by the taxes of working people, it’s very negligent. Absolutely no need in this day and age.

I am really sorry people have been awful twats. I can just imagine the judgement you get but your little football team of boys sound amazing and I bet they’re so happy to have such a good mum

Hi OP , you are dead right so long as your kids have a Mum who gives a shite , loves them , raises them with kindness and values …who needs more . They are clothed fed and loved . Those boys will cherish you . Both my grand mothers had 8 plus kids (yes Irish catholic 😉 ) they were raised in tiny cottages on small holdings had little in the way material things but an abundance of love . They all went on to be successful in their chosen fields and not one would change their upbringing, a few have gone on to be very wealthy but have no airs and graces .
Hold your head up girl , you have nothing to be ashamed of, the shame is for those who think they are better than you . They are self righteous twats. It can be easier raising kids on your own there’s enough on here who can attest to that. God bless you ( though I think you are already blessed ) 😘

What horrible, judgey replies.

I don't care if you have 5 or 10 children, as long as you can support yourself and your children financially. Having worked for over 40 years what I do mind is having my taxes used to support your lifestyle choice because that's what it comes down to. To those who say it's none of anyone else's business, if I'm paying for you to have so many children it really is my business. I'm also amazed that you're surprised at the comments alluding to this. I don't know what you expected.