Gender disappointment - tell me good things about having a little brother for an older sister?

[annabelfr]

This is a VERY wanted IVF baby, so I feel pathetic being disappointed about having a boy when a healthy baby is everything we wanted for over a year, and obviously knew all along that it’s a 50/50 chance of boy or girl.

I found out today (via a Blue or Pink gender test) that it’s a boy. We’ve already got a little girl who will be around 4 at the time of birth, and I loved having a little girl. I also feel like two sisters will always be closer than bro sis. I’m worried about being the paternal grandparents as they always seem to be less favoured than maternal (in some cases understandably so, a freshly postpartum mum will want her own mum around and visitors like paternal grandparents only much later, same with her confiding in her own mum more, trusting own mum more with childcare etc).

any positive thoughts on a big sis, little bro combination, or on generally having a son?

I have an older girl and younger boy - 2 years apart, they’re close and very good fun together!

As individuals they are the most wonderful children who I have an equally close relationship with and I could honestly burst with pride.

pre warn though, when DS arrived I was terribly worried for DD, that I was ignoring her or holding baby too much and felt guilty when in actual fact her brother taught her love, care, sharing and thinking about his needs as well as hers. But yeah hormones are tough after birth.

Everything’s great about having boys. The clothing choices are a bit rubbish sometimes but honestly I can’t think of anything else about having a girl that’s better.

Poor boy, imagine how he would feel knowing this one day. That’s so strange to think you can guarantee 2 sisters will always be closer than brother sister. I wouldn’t worry about what his wife will want in who knows how many years time either. Why would boy parents not be trusted with looking after grand children?

Any thoughts on generally having a son? Yeah it’s amazing, I’m sure people love having sons as much as you love having a daughter believe it or not! And if you want a close relationship with him as he grows up you need to change your attitude.

After I had a girl, I couldn't imagine what I would do with a boy, but Big Sister loved Baby Brother from the start, and he worshipped her. At puberty she was a bit off with him, but once he was a cool teen they were as thick as thieves again

As a mum of a boy I do think about being the paternal grandparent and that we will be second rate. However that’s from what I see on here, in reality in my own family for the most part once past the newborn stage it evens out.
Also I have a brother and we’re really close and he is really close to my mum- as is SIL.

Your reasons for not wanting a boy are really unintelligent and ill informed. Pros - having a son! Awesome! Girl or boy they may not get on, or may get on really well. If you are crap attitudes to your potential future DIL already then yeah they are likely to find you hard work.

I loved both my younger brothers to bits

All babies are different with different personalities regardless of sex

You’ll have a healthy baby

But you've already got a girl.
I thought you were complaining about having a third boy.
Just be grateful you got pregnant in the first place.

So sad it's always a boy now. My DC are adults now (BBG), but the preference back then was always for a boy first, literally an heir and a spare.
MIL said she would have had ten DC to get the boy she wanted. I can tell you now his two elder Dsis know they were always second best to her. His middle sister is particularly affected by it.
I know you can't help your feelings but unless you get this out of your system quickly, you're storing up a world of misery for his future, alongside many others.
I adore my handsome six foot tall blonde DSs. I have one DIL, who I adore. I'm not her DM and don't try to be. We regularly go out as a family and I also meet up with her and GD once a week for lunch. My other DS's partner lives with us while they save for a house. I love them both.
DD leaves for university in September. I doubt she'll ever return because her field of study doesn't offer a career available here. We live in a small town.
I think I was fortunate I never had strong feelings over their sex after seeing a lot of OPs on here.

Little boys absolutely love their mums.

And I am very close to my younger brother- I wouldn't swap him for a sister! He's also very close to my mum and does her garden for her.

So I don't think you have anything to worry about- once he's in your arms you will be besotted!

i have a son and a younger brother.

having a boy is amazing. He’s my little best friend. I couldn’t imagine not having a son now he’s here. It’s just the best!!

im super close with my younger brother(7 years age gap) , even more so than my sister who’s only 12 months younger than me so you’d expect we’d be really close!

This. Boys are fantastic, they really are 💙

I find it so sad the amount of mothers that are disappointed to find out they have a boy. 😭

How close siblings are will depend on their personality and the environment they grow up in. Take heart, OP, you and your partner will have a great deal of influence in how close they are. That they are a different sex, won't matter.

Same - I knew it before I clicked on the post that it would be gender disappointment about a baby boy. It make me so sad.

My 3 boys are absolutely the best thing to happen to me. They are hilarious, kind, caring and thoughtful. They are amazing, I genuinely wouldn't wish for anything different.

I've known many opposite sex siblings who are close, it's to do with how they are raised rather than biology.

we all did - it literally says it’s a boy in the title!

Boys are awesome! Lovely, little, cuddly toddler boys and taller-than-me, chat-your-ear off teen boys 😍

I always wanted a brother and still wish I did. My sister and I are not close at all.

Congrats OP, soon enough you'll wonder how you ever managed without your little boy!

We have one of each, and honestly my boy baby is so much easier than my girl was as a baby. My dd was a bit disappointed to not be getting a sister when we told her but she got over it very quickly and she loves him, it’s so nice to see the bond between them and she’s such a good big sister to him. Honestly it’ll be fine.

I love my younger brother.

My younger sister on the other hand is an utter narcissistic bitch and we have absolutely no contact with each other. Hated her as a kid. Hate her now.

I really wouldn't worry about what will happen if your as yet unborn son does or doesn't make you a granny!

Boys are so much fun!

My youngest is a boy. He has two older sisters. He is 18 now and I adore him. Absolutely adore him. He makes me laugh. Like belly laugh, often. He is the most like me, which annoyed me sometimes as he has my bad traits. He gets me the most out of anyone in my family. He absolutely completes me.

I'm one of three. I'm much closer to my brother than my sister. I also have a boy and a girl and it's brilliant, they are absolutely their own people but also play beautifully together. You get the best of both worlds.

I was you OP, albeit with a bigger age gap. I was so disappointed when I found out my second was a boy and felt so guilty for my disappointment.

Having raised my DD to adulthood and my DS to tweenager, I'd happily have more kids if someone could guarantee they'd all be boys!

We were in a similar position with having IVF for both of our children. Our daughter was nearly five when her brother was born. They are now 16 and 11, he is amazing, as is she and they couldn’t be closer. I wasn’t disappointed with a boy but did assume it would be another girl. You will love him as much as your daughter.

I always wanted one of each and I’m lucky to be blessed with two of each. The girls are older and the boys younger. I absolutely love to socks off of all of them and those boys just completed me. I couldn’t imagine anything better.

I have an older sister and a younger brother and whilst I have a good relationship with both of them, I get on with my brother much more and have done throughout most of my life. My relationship with my sister was particularly difficult in our teenage years and there was always an undertone of rivalry, and jealousy of each other. Same sex siblings does not guarantee a close relationship.

Daughters are awesome. Sons are awesome. Be grateful and just enjoy them all.