Gender disappointment - tell me good things about having a little brother for an older sister?

[annabelfr]

This is a VERY wanted IVF baby, so I feel pathetic being disappointed about having a boy when a healthy baby is everything we wanted for over a year, and obviously knew all along that it’s a 50/50 chance of boy or girl.

I found out today (via a Blue or Pink gender test) that it’s a boy. We’ve already got a little girl who will be around 4 at the time of birth, and I loved having a little girl. I also feel like two sisters will always be closer than bro sis. I’m worried about being the paternal grandparents as they always seem to be less favoured than maternal (in some cases understandably so, a freshly postpartum mum will want her own mum around and visitors like paternal grandparents only much later, same with her confiding in her own mum more, trusting own mum more with childcare etc).

any positive thoughts on a big sis, little bro combination, or on generally having a son?

It will be fine.
Is your partner excited about having a son?

Blimey I thought you were going to say you were having your fourth boy or something ! Not that's there's anything wrong with four boys of course.

Positives? You'll have a son.

Boys are fabulous. I have one of each and they're both fab. I love the contrast.

My son & daughter are now 21 & 24 and very close!

I have a girl and then a boy. They are so close and the best of friends. I don’t think it would suit my daughter to have a sister. She was always meant to have a brother. I think if she had a sister they would fight the bit out! Hope you feel the same in a few years x

We have a three year gap - older sister and younger brother - and they have always been really close, still always playing around together now age 13 and 10. She has been a doting older sister and it means we have not become a stereotypical girly or boyish household - they can both try and enjoy everything.

Congratulations on your healthy baby. It’s a bit odd to be thinking about being grand parents when baby isn’t even here yet! He may not even have kids 🤷‍♀️ would just focus on raising a lovely boy for now.

I had the same situation OP, really helpful to be able to say to your 4 year old 'mummy and you are the girls' 'daddy and the baby are the boys' helps with the adjustment period

Surely you know sisters that aren’t at all close and brothers and sisters that are very close?!

You could honestly say to each child “you’re the best daughter / son in the whole world” etc. blah blah cute things like that.
There’ll be less competition between them (maybe).
You’ll have very different bonds with both of them and experience different hobbies and interests with them (maybe).
I was 3.5yrs when my little brother was born, I was obsessed with him, I’d prop him up on the sofa for years so I could read to him.
Your little girl may experience less jealousy with sharing dolls/toys as your son may want to play with a whole other topic of toys.

When you have a teenage DD, you will look back at this…. 😬

Always about a boy!!

Boys are great. So much easier than girls IMO so you’ll be in for an easy ride. I’m not close to my sister. DH isn’t close to his brother. Our kids (2 boys and a girl) all love each other and play together really nicely.

You wouldn’t have gone through IVF if a boy was really such a terrible thing. It’s pregnancy madness. You’ll look back and be horrified at yourself! It will be great honestly.

My daughter loves her younger brother - there is 3 years between them and they are best friends. My husband is incredibly close to his sister and we live close to them and see them all the time (interestingly I’m not close at all to my sister!) so I think boy girl siblings dynamic is great! I love having a boy, he’s my absolute darling. You’ll be fine! I was expecting my second to be a girl so was initially shocked but it’s best thing that’s ever happened.

We have a boy then a girl 3 years younger. We actually really love having one of each - they’re so different in many ways, I’m constantly learning from both of them☺️

I have an 11 week old baby boy also conceived by IVF. My daughter is 5 and a half. We are all completely in love with him and he has completed our family and filled my heart. Please don’t worry, having a boy is amazing.

I have two younger brothers and a younger sister and I love them all to bits. Being the eldest I'm close to all three of them. I love my brothers and it's a different relationship that I have with my sister but we are just as close. It will be nice for your daughter as she will have toys and experiences that she wouldn't otherwise have access to and the same for your son.

I think you having one of each is fantastic and I am very happy for you.

This!

I knew before I opened this thread which sex this thread would be about. How sad!

Oh yes. How sad. The OP has been blessed with now two children and is moaning. She ought to pull herself together. What a tragedy to be blessed with a boy.

It is. Indigenous MC women in the UK (at least) have to admit that they've developed a hatred of males that extends to their own children. Not unlike cultures who feel.girls are second class. It won't be long until we have our first gender based murder of a baby because it wasn't born a girl

I have a 5 year gap between mine and they have always been super close.

I have older sister /younger boy. When I was pregnant I wanted 2 girls. The minute I laid eyes on newborn DS I went 'Ohhhh that's what I wanted all along!' and fell in love with him.

It's a fab family configuration.

I felt exactly the same when I found out I was having a boy. I wanted a girl so my daughter could have a sister. There is a 5 year age gap between them and I absolutely adore him. He is more of a handful than what his sister was, but I love his cheeky side and he has a loving side. So happy I had a boy in the end. Boys are amazing

I do kind of get this

I’m worried about being the paternal grandparents as they always seem to be less favoured than maternal (in some cases understandably so, a freshly postpartum mum will want her own mum around and visitors like paternal grandparents only much later, same with her confiding in her own mum more, trusting own mum more with childcare etc

if you had a boy and were expecting another boy but … you have a girl.