The day I found out about my pregnancy my husband asked for a divorce

[Umang01]

Hi,
I am a 35 year old woman who just found out about her pregnancy after several years of infertility. So, when my doctor confirmed my pregnancy I just called up my husband to inform him the same. And in return, he asked me to terminate the pregnancy and is also asking for divorce. I just don't know what I should do. I am in a fix. Please help. I am on lot of hormonal medication. I cannot think straight at this point. This is my only chance of being pregnant. It may never happen again for me.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. What reason did he give for wanting a divorce? I'm wondering if he freaked out at the pregnancy or whether it could have been brewing for a while 😕

What is the reason for him wanting to divorce?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

your husband sounds like a complete arsehole - I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

If you want a baby then you can be a single mum - lots of women do it and their children thrive. Don’t have an abortion you don’t want to keep a man - you will resent him.

Also to add that you absolutely do not need to terminate just because he wants you to. That's your decision, not his to make.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy your new life with your baby.

How were things with DH before this announcement?

If you have had years of infertility I wouldn’t be getting a termination because he asked you to.

Do you have a good support network?

At 35 after several years of infertility I would keep the baby and prepare to raise your child alone.

He’s asking for a divorce anyway so take him out of the equation - can you go it alone, physically, financially?

How awful for you. Was your infertility investigated and was baby concieved naturally?

I'm so sorry you're in this position. But just to echo the above, termination is NOT his decision to make. Your body, your decision. After what you've been through to get this baby, I think you would be absolutely fine doing it without him.

Hi,
Things have not been great between us as I have been struggling with infertility for 7 years. I just gave up everything to have this child including my career. It has been a struggle for me. I have tried all sorts of treatments just to have a child. And now finally it happened. This is what he wants.

Congratulations on your much wanted pregnancy. I’m so,so sorry about his reaction. You’ll feel all over the place with hormones & possibly nausea .
Sophie Ellis Baxter’s Mum ( Janet Ellis ) was a single Mother & she said her Mum said to her ‘ It might be the wrong time & the wrong man but it’s never the wrong baby ‘ .
Much love xx

No. I conceived it after ivf

I agree with others, at your age and with difficulties with fertility (unless that was related to his fertility) I would be going ahead. You're under no obligation to terminate just because he's asked this.

I think you need to find out why exactly he's asking for this, you need to seek legal advice and contact citizens advice or similar to guidance on what you'd be entitled to as a single parent and you need to think about what support you have around you. At the end of the day he will be liable to pay for the child he's Co created. And I would want to know why he's asking for a divorce now, when he's been actively trying to create a child with you.

Obviously having a child can be a really difficult journey sometimes and it can make things hard between you as a couple so I think it's hard for any of us to advise properly without understanding why he's asked for this now. He's acted badly and this is a really, really shit thing for him to do but I am also wondering how things have been between you for the last year or so?

You need to do some maths op to see what you can afford. Is your home in both your names?

Go and stay with a kindly friend or relative for a few days. Get some space from that idiot man of yours.

Keep the baby, ditch the husband. What on earth is wrong with him? So sorry OP.

If it were me I'd ask him to leave and stay put op. Unless you feel unsafe doing so.

Dump the waste of space. That relationship is surely over now anyway?

Keep the baby.

I'm really sorry. IVF is gruelling. I think research shows it has been positively associated with breakdown of the relationship/divorce.

You are entering a new phase of your life , a much longed for child abet without the help of its father . Thousands of women have gone before you and you won't be the last . Congratulations .

Keep your much wanted baby. I’m sorry about the husband.

Also op just to say I'm not far off your age and my stbxh left after less than a year after we had ds and is no longer involved at all. I manage completely fine without him even though its not the start to ds life that I wanted .

I am sorry this is happening at what should be a happy time.

If he wants a divorce anyway, you need to think if you'd prefer to be alone or be alone with baby.
How many weeks pregnant are you? Can you wait a little time before deciding?
I don't know your circumstances but I'd be inclined to say keep the baby.

I have been through so much just to have this child. He went on a drinking rampage two days before he was suppose to give his sample. I don't know how things have come to this. It's a lot pent up emotions on both sides. Me taking a break from job is one of the things. He thinks I 'm useless, I don't have dreams...my biggest dream was to become a mother. All my friends have 6 year old kids. They all are planning for their second child. I wouldn't have given up my career if it had happened naturally for me. But it did not. He wasn't at all supportive throughout this period. My hormones were normal..the only issue I faced was low amh level. Just walking out of my house became unbearable for me. All my neighbours always poked me.. When are you planning to have a kid? Or how many kids do you have?

Congratulations! Keep the baby. Lose the man. He's done his bit. Now enjoy motherhood without him ruining it for you.