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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

The day I found out about my pregnancy my husband asked for a divorce

191 replies

Umang01 · 06/05/2025 18:19

Hi,
I am a 35 year old woman who just found out about her pregnancy after several years of infertility. So, when my doctor confirmed my pregnancy I just called up my husband to inform him the same. And in return, he asked me to terminate the pregnancy and is also asking for divorce. I just don't know what I should do. I am in a fix. Please help. I am on lot of hormonal medication. I cannot think straight at this point. This is my only chance of being pregnant. It may never happen again for me.

OP posts:
IchiNiSanShiGo · 06/05/2025 18:53

God i’m sorry OP, what a prick your H is.

Continue with the pregnancy, and continue with the divorce. You say being a mum is your dream, this is likely your only chance. Grab it with both hands. You can do this.

Meadowfinch · 06/05/2025 18:54

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP. How wonderful.

I suggest you ask your dh to leave the house or you go and stay with a friend or relative for a few days. IVF is tough on both of you, and having a time apart might be useful. Do you think your dh is just panicking. ?

Either way, this is something you worked for, you've sacrificed a lot for. Don't throw it away.

I'm a single mum and it is very doable. It is without doubt, the best thing I have ever done 😍

Secretsquirels · 06/05/2025 18:59

I’m a single mum. It’s hard sometimes and I don’t always love it, but that’s how most of my couple-mum friends feel about parenting too.

Given the choice, knowing what I know now, I’d definitely still have the kids.

Im team keep the baby and ditch the man!

Babyboomtastic · 06/05/2025 19:00

Terminating should be absolutely out of the question, and he's nuts even suggesting it. You've tried for 7 years, having a baby is your dream and this may well be your only chance. Don't give that up for ANYTHING.

I can't believe how cruel he's being with this, and I'm really sorry how he's turned out.

You've got this. You and your baby. You can do this.

OVienna · 06/05/2025 19:00

Another keep the baby, lose the man vote here.

Readytohealnow · 06/05/2025 19:01

Keep the baby, reboot your career and ditch the man!

applebee33 · 06/05/2025 19:02

If you really want this baby and are willing to raise it alone then definitely go ahead . It’s his loss but it’s your body ultimately xx

Queenest · 06/05/2025 19:02

This sounds like one of those sliding doors moments. A year from now you can be there with your new baby, no dick head husband and the start of a wonderful new chapter for you and your child.

See him for what he is. He doesn’t deserve to share your life. Do yourself and your baby a huge favour and leave him.

reesespieces123 · 06/05/2025 19:03

I'm so sorry OP.

It's decision time. The relationship is presumably dead. So your choices are (1) leave and be a single parent (2) leave and terminate the pregnancy.

If you choose (1), try and get the divorce through before the baby is born so he doesn't have parental responsibility. You don't want to be connected to this shit of a man for 18 years.

blubbyblub · 06/05/2025 19:07

reesespieces123 · 06/05/2025 19:03

I'm so sorry OP.

It's decision time. The relationship is presumably dead. So your choices are (1) leave and be a single parent (2) leave and terminate the pregnancy.

If you choose (1), try and get the divorce through before the baby is born so he doesn't have parental responsibility. You don't want to be connected to this shit of a man for 18 years.

She’s going to be connected to him whether divorced or not. He’s still the father of the child and he will be financially responsible whatever he may think.

S0j0urn4r · 06/05/2025 19:08

Did he not understand what the IVF was for?
I hope you have friends/family you can be with now. Give yourself some time to get your head round things.
It's your choice so do what's right for you.

reesespieces123 · 06/05/2025 19:09

blubbyblub · 06/05/2025 19:07

She’s going to be connected to him whether divorced or not. He’s still the father of the child and he will be financially responsible whatever he may think.

Show quote history

yes but if they are divorced before the baby is born he doesn't have automatic parental responsibility and she can choose not to put him on the birth certificate.

Heylittlesongbird · 06/05/2025 19:09

In your own words "my biggest dream was to become a mother". Make that your priority, no matter what happens with you husband.

Boreded · 06/05/2025 19:10

I’m going to give a potentially unpopular one.

get the divorce, tell him you’ve terminated, and keep the baby. But don’t go for any csa so that you can live your life without him in it

OneEdgyScroller · 06/05/2025 19:12

I am sorry he has done this, but CONGRATULATIONS on the pregnancy! I was 3 years getting pregnant and my twins are the best thing that ever happened to me and worth every painful day I had trying to get pregnant.
Your DH is an asshat. You have a new life ahead of you, free of him and his misery. It sounds like you were aware he checked out of this marriage a long time ago. so is it really a loss? I daresay its an opportunity to live your best life now and I hope the shock wears off very soon and you can see the bright future ahead.

reesespieces123 · 06/05/2025 19:12

Boreded · 06/05/2025 19:10

I’m going to give a potentially unpopular one.

get the divorce, tell him you’ve terminated, and keep the baby. But don’t go for any csa so that you can live your life without him in it

Actually I agree. This is the best idea.

Original poster
Umang01 · 06/05/2025 19:13

Thank you for the support. It is just been two weeks. The doctor has asked me to visit her on 16th of this month. The thing is it can be a twin pregnancy as my hormone levels are very high (it is still not confirmed though). The doctor has hinted on it after seeing my blood test reports. This is why I 'm panicking. I don't know how I will be able to manage all alone.

OP posts:
ThatsCute · 06/05/2025 19:16

This is your very much wanted baby—keep it. Don’t let DH ruin this opportunity for you; he can fuck off into the sunset.

babyolivebean · 06/05/2025 19:17

Are you in the UK op?

Ditch the husband and keep your much wanted baby.

sassyduck · 06/05/2025 19:17

Your DH is a shit. Congratulations on your pregnancy. You will manage!

OneEdgyScroller · 06/05/2025 19:19

Umang01 · 06/05/2025 19:13

Thank you for the support. It is just been two weeks. The doctor has asked me to visit her on 16th of this month. The thing is it can be a twin pregnancy as my hormone levels are very high (it is still not confirmed though). The doctor has hinted on it after seeing my blood test reports. This is why I 'm panicking. I don't know how I will be able to manage all alone.

You can do it. I am a twin mom and I found it wasnt that bad. You are in the trenches with midnight feeding, etc with one, now you just make two bottles, change two diapers, literally a minutes more work per task to do two. I know that sounds crazy to anyone who is neck deep in that stage right now but honestyly, it wasnt much more of a lift. I think it would have been harder to be midnight feeding a newborn AND tending to a busy toddler as well. My kids were at least ion the same stages at the same time. As they got older (and I mean a few months) they entertained each other immensely while my friends with their single babies lamented "How do you keep them busy?" I never had to, they kept each other busy.
Also, due to my age, I probably wouldn't have been able to conceive again after getting pregnant that one time. I consider myself so lucky I had two in what would have very likely been my lastopportunity to get pregnant.

Andsoitbeganagain · 06/05/2025 19:19

You will surprise yourself by how much you can manage on your own and trust me, it will be 100 times easier without some unreliable man child to look after at the same time.

August2024 · 06/05/2025 19:22

I was left in pregnancy and kept the baby. It is survivable - being a single mum from before birth - even if it doesn’t feel like it xx

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 06/05/2025 19:22

He can divorce you all he wants and stop your marriage OP, but he absolutely does not get to decide to terminate your baby. He might try and be manipulative and controlling but he did consent to do the IVF so it's your choice now. Honestly you're stronger than you know even getting through the IVF process so you have got this!
I know its scary right now but you said yourself this is your dream so you CAN do it even if it means doing it by yourself.

GoldBeautifulHeart · 06/05/2025 19:23

Umang01 · 06/05/2025 18:19

Hi,
I am a 35 year old woman who just found out about her pregnancy after several years of infertility. So, when my doctor confirmed my pregnancy I just called up my husband to inform him the same. And in return, he asked me to terminate the pregnancy and is also asking for divorce. I just don't know what I should do. I am in a fix. Please help. I am on lot of hormonal medication. I cannot think straight at this point. This is my only chance of being pregnant. It may never happen again for me.

Do not terminate. Just don't do it.

He has no say over your body please don't you'll regret it.

I had an abortion at early 20s and not been able to get pregnant now late 30s.

Don't be me. 😰