The day I found out about my pregnancy my husband asked for a divorce

[Umang01]

Hi,
I am a 35 year old woman who just found out about her pregnancy after several years of infertility. So, when my doctor confirmed my pregnancy I just called up my husband to inform him the same. And in return, he asked me to terminate the pregnancy and is also asking for divorce. I just don't know what I should do. I am in a fix. Please help. I am on lot of hormonal medication. I cannot think straight at this point. This is my only chance of being pregnant. It may never happen again for me.

You will manage OP . This is the best thing that has ever happened to you. Unfortunately, everything is so up in the air ATM and you don't know which way to turn but things will change and soon you will be able to cope with everything. Good luck 🤞

Keep the baby/babies! This is what you really want. Forget about your soon to be ex DH except when it comes to your CMS claim.

Have a look at HollyLouise twin mum on instagram or tictok. Take your chance to be a mum, you are stronger than you think.

You will manage. I’m not saying it wil be easy but it is doable. If you’ve had IVF it would be madness to terminate. I know it is daunting but you will be ok. Lean on family and friends for support.

My ex left me when I was twelve weeks pregnant with twins. I have raised them by myself from the start. They’re now eleven and wonderful! There have been hard parts (the hardest has been financial - at points I’ve had to have two jobs) but I would not change my decision to keep them for all the money in the world. They have brought me so much joy and happiness and I’m a way better person because of them. You can totally do this alone if you want to xx

keep the baby dump the husband

Congratulations on your much-wanted pregnancy. I’m a single mum with no partner and it’s honestly easier without the ‘help’ of a selfish waste of space! Keep the baby and get rid of the idiot! Don’t let him rush you into a divorce. Get some legal advice and know your rights first before you get divorced. Make sure any money is safe too.

You’re stronger than you think xx

You absolutely can manage on your own, and you will!

Your STBXH is an awful person for asking you to abort such a longed for, and hard-fought-for pregnancy. Please do not let him ruin what should be such an incredible time for you.

Not even a choice - tell the prick to fo, have a lovely baby!

Congratulations you will manage id suggest you may regret a termination but doubt you will regret your baby once he/she arrives. You will have to work - but lots of mums have to work it’s worth the balancing act. Also your deadbeat partner will have to pay.

Congratulations OP!

You decide what you want to do. Don't take any advice or pressure from anyone else. Though if this is a longed-for IVF baby I think you'd be mad to terminate.

Congratulations. You can do this. My H left me after finally getting pregnant via fertility treatment (for another woman it turned out). Dc1 is 21 now, it hasn't always been easy but dc is amazing and I wouldn't change it. I got no maintenance (gave up his job) and never saw dc. I actually went on to have twins (as a single parent) ended up with 3 under 4 and we've all survived!
I'd say make a list of practical things you need to sort. My priority was housing (had to sell and buy a home moved in at 38 weeks). Look on a benefits calculator and see what you'll be entitled too and look after yourself. Nearer birth make sure you've got lots of meals in the freezer to warm up (I lived on omelette, toast and homemade 'ready meals' for months). Make sure you have lots of supplies in as it's not so easy to just pop to the shops and think about how to make your life easier (tesco delivery etc).
I found after birth (which was traumatic) I was low in mood but because everyone expected me to be happy because I'd waited so long for a child, however I didn't ask to do it in these circumstances. I was so grateful I had dc but felt very overwhelmed. It got easier, dc is amazing (works, studies, bought own house, drives it hasn't held dc back).
Look after yourself, you'll be fine, set good boundaries and make the choices that are best for baby and you. Making descions were really difficult for me at first because if it was wrong it was all down to me. However I reframed it as 'making the best descion with the information/resources I had at the time'. So the childcare I chose, school I applied for, medical descions I did with good intentions, with the information and resources I had at the time. Best wishes to you.

You should do exactly, 100% what you want without considering anyone else’s feelings. If you want the baby or babies, you will manage.

You need to sit down and decide how you will be able to cope with the following if you go ahead

• Your mental health when the burden will be on you as a single mother

• Financially, will you be able to cope

• Childcare, will you have any help

• House, where will you live

• Work / career

He expects you to abort an IVF baby? What a prick!

It's your baby and if you want to go through with the pregnancy, that is what you should do. Don't let him bully you into having an abortion if that isn't what you want.

Do you have any family and friends to support you?

Keep the baby, get rid of the husband. Why is he asking for an abortion after several years of infertility??

Keep your baby. Your husband wants a divorce anyway so why give up your dream of being a mother because of him. I am so sorry you're going through this- I had many years of IVF and infertility and it is gruelling. Your baby is a wonderful gift and you will get through this. Do you have any family support at all?

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So sorry OP. I’d keep the baby if that’s what you want. As you said, it may be your last chance. He could go on to have another and imagine how you would feel.

I broke up with my ds dad a few days before finding out I was pregnant due to his cheating. He also demanded I had an abortion as he went off with OW (they only lasted a few months). I was devastated at the time and did consider an abortion.

I’m so glad I continued the pregnancy. Ds is the most wonderful, sweetest little boy and I love him to pieces. His dad did reappear for a few months after he was born but fucked off again. A year on I very rarely think of him.

It is hard being a single mum but doable. It’s easier parenting alone rather than in a marriage/relationship which is eating away at your emotional well-being.

All the best!

Keep the baby. He must be mental contemplating aborting an IVF baby.

@Umang01 the day you get to hold your newborn in your arms for the very first time, all of this crap will be history. I understand how infertility affects your life and your relationship. It sounds like you want this baby, please do not let him bully you into a termination. You will move on from this man, it’s unlikely you will forgive yourself if you ended the pregnancy. I can’t imagine how scared you are right now, but please don’t do anything rash. Take some time to speak to with someone you trust, go through your options. No matter your living and financial situation, you will make it work

Do what you want to do, Sod him

Regarding finances, that was one of my main worries but I bought everything second hand (apart from bottles, mattresses and car seat). I found a silver cross pram in impeccable condition for £50 on marketplace. If you see any nice baby clothes on sale, get them even if it’s larger sizes which will do for the following year. I’m on a parent network group on Facebook for my area and people often give away baby items/furniture away for free. I did recently when having a clear out.

Depending on your finances, you could apply for UC or get help with childcare.

Well, isn’t hé a Prince???

Do not terminate if you do not want to. Do not let him talk you into anything. He has willingly participated in this journey to create the pregnancy, and it is very unfair to make you consider ending it when it has finally happened.

keep your darling baby 💓

my fiends husband walked out on her 5 weeks after she gave birth. He was vile to her throughout the pregnancy and then she was not only dealing with a newborn but a man child.
The minute he left she said it was a massive relief x