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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

The day I found out about my pregnancy my husband asked for a divorce

191 replies

Umang01 · 06/05/2025 18:19

Hi,
I am a 35 year old woman who just found out about her pregnancy after several years of infertility. So, when my doctor confirmed my pregnancy I just called up my husband to inform him the same. And in return, he asked me to terminate the pregnancy and is also asking for divorce. I just don't know what I should do. I am in a fix. Please help. I am on lot of hormonal medication. I cannot think straight at this point. This is my only chance of being pregnant. It may never happen again for me.

OP posts:
Richiewoo · 06/05/2025 20:38

Congratulations keep the baby. Dump he's sorry arse.

Apreslapluielesoleil · 06/05/2025 20:39

Would you ever feel the same about him again? Would you ever trust him or feel truly happy with him ? There’d just be the two of you for 10, 20 maybe 30 years.

MamaLenny · 06/05/2025 20:41

Your body your choice. If this is something you want, prioritise yourself and your baby over a man x

Devonshiregal · 06/05/2025 20:42

I know what to do… divorce him and keep your baby(ies). But get some emotional support to help adjust your expectations kids are beautiful but they’re people not fantasies and you’ve probably built up an idea of how it’s going to be which is not grounded in reality.

ladykale · 06/05/2025 20:43

Congrats on your baby!

justanotherboymum · 06/05/2025 20:43

I got divorced when I was pregnant (with my third). Don’t let him take this joy from you. You can absolutely do it alone. On my dying days I will treasure the memory of raising my son as a baby on my own…very hard but the thing I’m proud of most in the world. You’ve got this 💪

Pedallleur · 06/05/2025 20:45

You won't win either way. Keep the baby you have what you want and it may be your 1 shot. Terminate and there is no guarantee he will stay/won't meet someone else and possibly become a father/reverse his position and say he wanted to be a father. Life with hopefully a healthy baby that you've dreamed of or no life with someone who may leave anyway.

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 06/05/2025 20:48

Does he have a good job. U get maintenance anyways

Thisisittheapocalypse · 06/05/2025 20:50

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Keep the baby/babies. Dump the sorry excuse of a man.

File for child support as soon as you give birth.

twilightermummy · 06/05/2025 20:55

I 100% think that you should keep the baby. You need to detach yourself from him during the pregnancy as stress could really have a negative impact. I wouldn't discuss the divorce until after the birth actually.

Whether he likes it or not, he has to take responsibility. He was involved every step of the way in the conception. If he doesn't want to actively parent then he must pay up. I'm sure that he will show some interest though.

Eventually you will have your baby/babies and be able to get back into your career again and I'm sure that he will have many regrets. Life ebbs and flows for us all so whilst he is derisory of you now, in a few years things will be different. Irregardless, if you spent your time on benefits bringing up the children, you will always be able to hold your head up high.

I'm pleased that it's worked for you x

CautiousLurker01 · 06/05/2025 21:03

Nicecuppatea2025 · 06/05/2025 18:25

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy your new life with your baby.

This.

And fuck’im.

TryingToBeHelpful267 · 06/05/2025 21:03

You will manage without him. If this is what you want then congratulations. He contributed so it’s not fair for him to ask you to terminate the pregnancy. Divorce him and be happy.

YourLoyalPlumOP · 06/05/2025 21:05

Umang01 · 06/05/2025 19:13

Thank you for the support. It is just been two weeks. The doctor has asked me to visit her on 16th of this month. The thing is it can be a twin pregnancy as my hormone levels are very high (it is still not confirmed though). The doctor has hinted on it after seeing my blood test reports. This is why I 'm panicking. I don't know how I will be able to manage all alone.

Have the baby….sod him. You can do this. ❤️

MyLittleNest · 06/05/2025 21:15

I am so sorry that instead of celebrating what should have been a very joyous occasion, he chose to be a complete jerk. Regardless of what prompted his reaction, his timing is unforgivable.

This is all you've wanted and waited for and it has finally happened. As difficult as it may seem, you should allow yourself to celebrate your dream finally coming true. He can only ruin this for if you let him. So don't!

Start looking for a new job and childcare options. You have time. And trust me, you will be much more alone with an unsupportive husband.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/05/2025 21:26

ADreamIsAWishYourArseMakes · 06/05/2025 19:55

From one IVFer to another - you got this, you deserve this, tell the bastard to get to fuck 🌷

Mine was a medicated transfer, I found the first trimester knackering, more knackering than my DD's spontaneous pregnancy. Bunker down for a few weeks and pull in the support you can while you make decisions about your fabulous new life as a mum.

HCG cam be neither here nor there re. twin pregnancies. Some twin pregnancies have pretty average HCG, some singletons have sky high HCG. take a deep breath in and take one day at a time.

Totally agree with this. My dd is also IVF and likewise a medicated transfer. She was attempt no 3. No way in hell would I let a man, who had just had to produce a sperm sample when I’d been all through that dictate that I should terminate a much sought after pregnancy.

Congratulations and good luck!

Londonrach1 · 06/05/2025 21:36

Keep the baby ditch the ex husband would be my advice. good luck op whatever you decide.

WalkingaroundJardine · 06/05/2025 21:39

I’d definitely be proceeding with the pregnancy in your shoes. Since your DH has raised divorce, there is no guarantee that he still might not get one further down the track even if you got an abortion. He is obviously not happy in general.

momtoboys · 06/05/2025 21:41

I have two sets of twins and a single birth in 4.5 years. You can do this. Your life will be mostly your babies for the first couple of years but they are great company for each other.

Fernticket · 06/05/2025 21:45

OneEdgyScroller · 06/05/2025 19:30

I am sending hugs @GoldBeautifulHeart. I met and grew close to several women who had secondary infertility after having abortions in their 20s. There was zero evidence that it had anything to do with their prior abortion but they seemed to have a deeper pain due to the "what if...?". I just want you to know I feel for you.

Me too 💐💐& hugs.

Joeylove88 · 06/05/2025 21:45

Keep your dream baby and raise them alone you don't need anyone else you sound like you will be the best mum!

Nousernamesavaliable · 06/05/2025 21:48

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Tell him to draft the divorce papers and get it over with!

Lemonem · 06/05/2025 21:48

Umang01 · 06/05/2025 19:13

Thank you for the support. It is just been two weeks. The doctor has asked me to visit her on 16th of this month. The thing is it can be a twin pregnancy as my hormone levels are very high (it is still not confirmed though). The doctor has hinted on it after seeing my blood test reports. This is why I 'm panicking. I don't know how I will be able to manage all alone.

Congratulations, what a blessing. You will manage

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 06/05/2025 21:52

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 06/05/2025 19:22

He can divorce you all he wants and stop your marriage OP, but he absolutely does not get to decide to terminate your baby. He might try and be manipulative and controlling but he did consent to do the IVF so it's your choice now. Honestly you're stronger than you know even getting through the IVF process so you have got this!
I know its scary right now but you said yourself this is your dream so you CAN do it even if it means doing it by yourself.

This 100 per cent.

Don't be dragooned into making a hasty choice. Remember that you are stuffed full of hormones at the moment.
You may be worried about going it alone but from your description of him, you may be much better off without him anyway. He sounds woefully unsupportive and frankly downright cruel to say that to you over the phone when you've just found out your're pregnant.

If you can, try and figure out what sort of support you can muster...friends, family..your share of joint finances, cm and benefits. It might be hard.. but it will be harder to just do what he says because he's only thinking about himself when this is something you've spent years striving for and it was your dream. Don't let him take that away from you. Its your choice.

PinkBobby · 06/05/2025 21:54

Your dream is to become a mum - congratulations on that dream coming true. Obviously, you do not need to terminate just because your DH is a massive . I have seen so many women say that being a single parent was easier than solo parenting with a useless partner. Maybe this is the best versions of events.

Itsinyourhand · 06/05/2025 22:01

Congratulations! I’m so happy about your pregnancy! Forget the husband! He can do one! Babies are better than men and easier to look after! X