The day I found out about my pregnancy my husband asked for a divorce

[Umang01]

Hi,
I am a 35 year old woman who just found out about her pregnancy after several years of infertility. So, when my doctor confirmed my pregnancy I just called up my husband to inform him the same. And in return, he asked me to terminate the pregnancy and is also asking for divorce. I just don't know what I should do. I am in a fix. Please help. I am on lot of hormonal medication. I cannot think straight at this point. This is my only chance of being pregnant. It may never happen again for me.

Congratulations! Abort the husband 😆

in all seriousness, obviously abortion is available for good reasons, but you shouldn’t even consider it for someone else.

Your body, your choice. Congratulations!

You WILL manage. Proceed with the much wanted pregnancy. You will not regret it. Good luck.

I wouldn’t terminate a much wanted pregnancy after infertility , however he feels about it .

I am sending hugs @GoldBeautifulHeart. I met and grew close to several women who had secondary infertility after having abortions in their 20s. There was zero evidence that it had anything to do with their prior abortion but they seemed to have a deeper pain due to the "what if...?". I just want you to know I feel for you.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I've been through similar, I had fertility treatment to have my daughter and on the way home from a very stressful early scan (7 weeks), My ex-husband shoved me - for the first and last time. I filed for divorce. He was able to spin it out so that we were still married when she was born so he automatically had parental rights, however he has been a very minor part of her life he moved back to his home country and sees her for a couple of days a couple of times a year it's never been unsupervised. If this is a much wanted child there is absolutely no reason to have a termination at your age it's likely to be the only chance you have of being a mother whilst being a single parent wasn't what I signed up for it has been the absolutely best thing to ever happen to me. I moved back to my hometown to get support from my family who are very involved with my daughter. I've been able to keep my career going but if I hadn't I'd rather be raising a child on benefits (this is after all what they are for – unexpected situations), than living in a palace alone. Divorce the man, keep the baby – it’s a child you want – so is already blessed with a loving mother
Kind regards

He sounds batshit bonkers. You were having fertility treatment - what was he expecting a potential outcome would be? Divorce him but keep the baby. There is an enormous community of single women by choice out there (including me!). I appreciate this wasn’t by choice but raising the baby solo will be ok. You won’t regret the baby. Congratulations!!!

, I guess you must be reeling trying to process two huge pieces of news in such a short time. Congratulations on your pregnancy, that is the happy news, your husband's request for a divorce is an utter shocker especially after you have been through so much to conceive. How much time do you have to start making decisions and do you have someone trustworthy in real life who can listen to you as you work you way through your choices? Sending you a virtual hug. Bloody men never cease to disappoint!

Do everything you can to keep your baby but be prepared to go it alone. Unless husband has a change of heart and wants to be a great dad after all.

Agreed.

Massive congrats OP. You won’t believe you can, but you can do this on your own - be it a single pregnancy or twins - yes it’ll be really hard, but it is not impossible. What outside support do you have OP?

congratulations - your baby will be much loved. Try to do it alone - you'll be happy in tge long term

Congratulations!

There is obviously something going on with your husband but you need to concentrate on looking after yourself and that means keeping you and your pregnancy safe.

Is there any way a friend or a family member can come and stay with you? Your husband needs to vacate the house.

Years ago I had an unplanned pregnancy. I wasn’t in any state to raise a baby on my own. Without going too much into my medical history I took myself off medications that could harm my baby (cause severe birth defects) and I promised myself that if the baby was healthy then I would do everything to keep my baby safe.

Each scan I went to showed me my baby was fine.

We don’t all have happy pregnancy stories filled with love and joy and hope. A lot of the time they are filled with uncertainty and fear. Mine was so scary - especially given my health issues at the time.

I don’t know what the right choice will be for you.

In my case I think the love I will feel for any man will never compare for the love I feel for my child.

Do you honestly imagine he would even be of any help with the babies. He won’t. It’d be like having 3 kids. He Has shown you who he is.

Please do not terminate. If you do,you will always resent your husband and it won't work out anyway.

What an absolute asshole.. He doesn’t deserve you, ditch the looser! Do you have supportive family, your parents around you who would offer practical support? You could have a very easygoing baby/babies or more tricky one/s. You don’t know it yet but as a mum you will find superhuman strength and endless love for your baby/babies 🥰

Congratufuckhimtheuselessbastardlations.

Do not let this opportunity pass you by OP. You'll make a wonderful mum and he is a terrible partner.

If he didn't want a baby then he should have used his words to communicate this. This is all on him. Not you at all.

Can I just say, I had a terrible pregnancy. I was awfully sick, but in the moments between being sick I didn't find any reasons to enjoy being pregnant and that is one of my biggest regrets.

You are PREGNANT! Celebrate it with friends and family and the people who deserve your happiness. Do not let him steal your light or make you feel small and enjoy every moment, every kick, every time you touch your belly, every time you see some cute little socks and tiny nappies, or smile everytime you think of a name you like and write it down. Don't let some insignificant speck of dust on in this vast universe take your dream of motherhood away from you.

It would seem he didn't want to be a parent but didn't have the balls to tell you that straight out. You at least know that and also know you will need to bring this child or children into the world alone. In your shoes i would go ahead with the pregnancy. You need to divorce now and look at where you can live and where the support is available. Good luck , you will be fine. x

There is support from the state for lone parents of young children. Rebooting your career can wait for now.

You. Can. Do. This.

I hope you have a good support network around you. Do you have family and friends who can help out? It's great if you do, but not impossible if you don't.

It's perfectly OK to have a wobble and wonder if you can do this, but you can. You've wanted this baby for so long. Put on your big girl pants and prepare for life without him, but with a tiny human to love and take care of.

I'm sorry that your husband has been so horrible. You deserve better than that.

This is fantastic advice. Please take it. You might never get pregnant again.
Divorce him if that's what he wants, but don't miss out on your longed for baby.
I have a 6 year old but the second one hasn't happened for me (I'm 34). I don't think it will either but i'm incredibly grateful for my boy. I was close to terminating him because I had nothing when I got pregnant and I wasn't married (my parents are muslim and they told me to get rid as it was incredibly shameful that I was unmarried). But i got through it and so will you.

I don't think you should terminate because he's asking you to. Especially when you have been through IVF. Lots of love and good luck ❤️

Keep the baby- you can do it! It’ll be the best thing you ever did.

husbands can come and go but that baby will be yours forever

If he’s asking for a divorce he doesn’t really get to say what You do to Your body.
You know you want a child and you’ve identified rationally its unlikely you will meet anyone else in the timeframe

From one IVFer to another - you got this, you deserve this, tell the bastard to get to fuck 🌷

Mine was a medicated transfer, I found the first trimester knackering, more knackering than my DD's spontaneous pregnancy. Bunker down for a few weeks and pull in the support you can while you make decisions about your fabulous new life as a mum.

HCG cam be neither here nor there re. twin pregnancies. Some twin pregnancies have pretty average HCG, some singletons have sky high HCG. take a deep breath in and take one day at a time.

Sounds like you want the babies so focus on them for now. Ditch the husband he sounds awful.