Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

@Pumpkinspice13 glad the recovery is going well. I can only imagine how hard the early days are!! As it looks like I’m having a section too I’ve been reading a book on the procedure and recovery, but I don’t think anything can really prepare you.

@LER2023 Well, that sounds horrendous on the painful sweep front 🤣 hopefully the fact your dialating suggests baby is getting ready to arrive. Did your midwife mention anything else about baby’s position today?

Much to my dismay I’ve started with PGP in the last few days, I had no idea it could be so painful. I’ve done some cleaning and moving of things up and down stairs tonight as it felt better than it had since Thursday last week and got into bed and wanted to cry as moving my legs / hips was so painful.. so I’m currently sat in the bath praying it helps and I can sleep after some paracetamol. No idea how you coped with it for so long as the prospect of 4/5 weeks for me feels absolutely horrendous, let alone having months still to survive it.

@Bellabubble have you had any signs yet that baby is nearly ready to arrive?

I got excited tonight though as I had my first ever “leak” of a couple of drops of colostrum. I aren’t trying to collect any for a good few weeks but this just appeared!! Which will be great as I have suspected GD but now too late to actually test for, but the midwife things they will monitor him as though I was diagnosed to be on the safe side, so any colostrum to hand would be great incase his sugars drop and he’s struggling to feed / latch!!

Oh i feel so sorry for you!! Pgp is vile literally so vile!!

Get on your ball if you have one and make use of pillows between your legs! It will start to hurt but just try and switch sides.

I ended up struggling to do that so had to sleep sat up in bed!

She never mentioned anything about his position but got a little worried that he was bum down rather than head down but turns out he was far down and it was actually his head that she needed to make sure and when she did my sweep, she said if nothing happens she will do another one on Thursday and then said she will look at either more sweeps or an induction!

2cm though i dont think is bad considering last wednesday she said that he wasnt far down like they would want, she said the bottom of my cervix was soft but the top of my cervix was still a bit stiff but got very excited when she got through my cervix, ive been having on and off cramps in my back and bump.

Still no other signs though!

I was cleaning the bathroom and toilet, ive been on my hands and knees cleaning the floor, been on my ball all day, went for a walk did a bit of curb stepping, had a hot curry courtesy of my OH (or bits of it because i cant handle spice AND it was only a masala my OH was crying with laughter at my choking and running nose just having little bits if it!🤣)

I woke up with my boob out of my vest top this morning, nipple stimulation is probably the next thing to try! I'll have a shower and pump again and hope that triggers something!

My bag is fully packed😬😬
Babys bag is fully packed i only need his pram suit and he's ready!
I need to put maybe a change of clothes in a bag for my OH, his sister has managed to pack her bag of comfies and shes packed some snacks for the hospital bless her.

We went through my birth plan yesterday with her, she knows exactly what i want, what i dont want and knows what clothes i want to wear during anf after labour. I have a nighty which i'll be wearing during labour and nightys and trousers to wear afterwards and for the way home as i said i wont be wearing proper clothes, i'll wear some pjs or comfys for the way home.

We have a plan to get me to the hospital when im ready to go in.

It was a very productive day... baby still hadnt arrived though!😅

Ive been spotting brown blood, had what looked like mucus plug but it was a dark brown rather than a red but was like egg white consistency!

Fingers crossed i dont need another sweep as my SIL was saying 'she looked like she was digging for gold up there'🤣🤣

Im hoping he will come in the next day or 2! We're finally getting the 'any news' messages. Which i dont mind, but i dont want them constantly🤣

@KT199 no signs that I can tell - but I didn’t with my first either. People have said I have dropped (and each time they see me they say it’s lower still lol) - but my daughter did the same - dropped early but was 11days over 😬 so I have no idea lol!

congrats on the colostrum!! I have been very unsuccessful. I keep trying but am also not putting too much pressure on myself. Hopefully I get to breastfeed this time though 🤞🏻

@LER2023 hopefully things are going ok for you, I have my fingers crossed that you won’t be waiting too long or needing another sweep 🤞🏻

Lessons for my first birth.... Have maternity pads handy as you need them in early labour. I didn't realise this and they were buried in my "post birth" bag and only had a tiny pantyliner when my waters broke which was woefully inadequate! Thankfully the midwife I saw to check if my waters had gone took pity on me and gave me a couple of theirs.

Also, once your waters go they keep going! I don't know why but I kinda assumed that all the water went that was it but I got gushes every time I stood having been sat for a while.... Wear shoes you can wash, dispose of or don't mind being covered in foetus wee!

Have some good packed lunch foods... Mums get fed in hospital but partners don't!

Don't get panicked by the size of your breasts around day 5-7 and buy expensive nursing bras. They will only stay that size for a few days and then drop to only semi resembling Jessica rabbit in a few days. Look for any that are super stretchy and wait a week or two before shelling out for nicer ones if that's what you want to do

@LER2023 nipple stimulation is actually the only thing where there is some evidence that it can bring on labour!

@KT199 my son had low blood sugars when he was born. I didn't have any colostrum and hand as he was 3 weeks early. In his first 36h he was sleeping for 12h at a time and wouldn't wake enough to breastfeed even with striping him down to his nappy. The first time I was given a syringe to try to express but wasn't getting much very quickly so I was offered formula or glucose to bring up his blood sugars. I went with formula. He had 15-20 ml and that was enough to bring up his blood sugars. I managed to express 1ml of colostrum before the next feed and he had that with 15ml of formula. The next feed he had 5-10 ml of formula and no more. I tried to change his nappy as he had a small poo in it. He then went on evacuate all of the meconium in his body destroying the changing mat and his cot (at 3am of course!) we had use a towel to clean him up rather than wipes. It did wake him up enough to feed however and he had a 3 minute breastfeed and on top of the tiny amount of formula that was enough to get his blood sugars up. The next feed was another mix of formula and breastfeeding and after that his blood sugars were ok and I could wake him for feeds and he's been ebf since. He had a 100% tongue tie so that was making feeding difficult as well as the sleepiness from being early term/ low blood sugars.
The midwives were looking for 15+ml of formula or 5 minutes on the breast. They don't need as much volume of the breastmilk as the formula.

Sorry for late update!

Baby arrived safely by planned C-section 5/11 - we had a baby girl and considering she was meant to be on the 10th centile she was on the 89th when born! Also had severe itching (mainly on my face which was very red by the end of it! )from the c-section meds and was taking piriton duration of hospital stay. Pain wise worst part was the GA before the spinal but very manageable (C-section recovery is worse).

The hospital: surgeons, midwives, nurses etc were all wonderful and I couldn’t fault them at any point, id do it all again tomorrow no hesitation - I actually loved the whole day.

the day before delivery I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes so also had the blood sugar issue for her at delivery. She had formula and colostrum and fed well during the night so luckily she didn’t end up on the GS pathway.

I felt good in hospital, pain levels were fine and I was discharged 22hrs after birth.
when I got home that day I felt more tender which peaked day 3 - paracetamol and ibuprofen was NOT enough. I had Dihydrocodeine which JUST about managed it. I’ve been feeling much better since day 3 and have been up on my feet and looking after baby / house throughout. Thank god for partner helping mind, I could not have looked after baby alone.

still in disbelief I have my baby after years of hell but the feeling I have now id do every single one of those days again tomorrow. It’s truly the best feeling in the world.

wishing the rest of you lots of love for your births and recovery 🤍

@Xwx1010 on the birth of your baby girl!!! I hope your recovery goes smoothly and you are being well looked after.

I wish I’d had the dihydracodine, the nurse in hospital scared me telling me it would make baby drowsy and we were already having feeding issues and struggling to get her to latch so I decided not to have it. Those first days at home I really could have done with something stronger than the ibuprofen and paracetamol.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl!!

Awh thats so exciting! Having gone through losses! Im glad you had such a positive experience! Rest as much as you can! I hope you and baby girl are both still doing good x

my post did say CONGRATULATIONS!! I’ve jo idea how I managed to delete it 🙈 x

@Xwx1010 congratulations on your baby girl!

Got a second sweep tomorrow and hoping that i finally have this baby😅
Trued going for another walk tonight with my SIL and it pissed it down we had to cut it all short!!

Second sweep done! Im now 3cm.. and babys head is very low! She said she would be able to pop my waters now but wouldnt do it😅
Im like please just do something! Im fed up now🤣
Shes like i can pop you on the list for when your 40+5... next Thursday🙂

Im fed up now lol

Oh congratulations @Xwx1010. Fingers crossed for an easy recovery. Enjoy your time with your baby.

@Superscientist thanks for the info re blood sugars it’s good to know even if I don’t manage to express pre baby any colostrum I may manage some after if he needed it and wouldn’t feed / latch. But I’m open to formula too I’ll do anything needed to make sure he’s fed and okay - we have bought some just in case as my hospital doesn’t provide.

@Bellabubble hopefully a swift arrival shortly!!

@LER2023 Well 3cm is a very good place to start. Are you classed as being in early labour due to the dilation? Hope your baby arrives soon, can only imagine the frustration of knowing they could start your labour but won’t 🥲.

@Xwx1010 congratulations!!! I hope
yoir recovery is getting better with every passing day! The thought of c-section recovery scares me - I had an interal tear with my first daughter that they did stitch, but I felt like that healed pretty quickly!

@LER2023 I hope the second sweep has worked some magic for you 🤞🏻

I’m currently experiencing sciatica pain for the first time in my life - and boy that’s an experience 😂 I have been trying some stretches etc but it’s still there, walking has become a bit hilarious! I’ll be ok an all
of a sudden move a slightly different way and my leg almost buckles. If I wasn’t so pregnant I’d be laughing at myself more as I’m sure I look ridiculous!

@Bellabubble i got this randomly in my second trimester for a week or so, sleeping with a pillow between my legs and keeping my hips stacked really helped.. but yeah the leg coming from under you randomly really is a strange one, I didn’t look pregnant at the time as such so think I just looked like I kept almost falling for no reason 🤣

Still no movement🙃
Im supposedly in the latent stage of labour.. wow its taking forever🤣
Sweep booked in for monday and induction booked in for 25th.
Im losing my mind. I dont want an induction which is exactly what i keep saying. They could break my waters but want them to go naturally!

Ive suffered with sciatica, it does happen, its muscle weakness in the legs because of the nerve being trapped.
Warm compress, putting pillows between your knees, if your laying on your back (which you probably arent) put a pillow under your knees!
Plenty of paracetamol!

Thank you everyone! We are just loving being parents, she is perfect in every way (well aside from the night wind meltdowns!)

just wanted to add that I would have a c-section a hundred times again, it was a really calm and wonderful experience - the theatre staff are unbelievable at making it a positive experience. If anyone is due one or ends up needing one after being induced please don’t be too frightened. There is one or two days in recovery which is tough due to pain but with some decent painkillers you will be fine and everything else about it was a breeze. I do think mine was slightly worse as they took my falopian tube too so one side was more tender for sure. No one mentioned about the baby being drowsy from meds but she was on purely formula in hospital anyway for ease - last thing I was doing was experimenting with BF with a frustrated and hungry newborn at 2/3/4am!! She had a little bit of breast over the recovery days but she was fine. We didn’t get going with BF for at least a week, only the side lying feeding really works for us so we do a couple a day but she’s mainly on formula.
If anyone else was to find themselves in the same boat this time my advice would be to harvest colostrum if you can (I used YouTube for a diff expressing techniques and tips which worked better than the c shape method) and perhaps depend mostly formula while on the painkillers, milk wasn’t in anyway for 4 days! X

@LER2023 really hope things move along for you soon, the waiting must be frustrating!

@KT199 I did manage some colostrum but the moment she was born the midwife was quite direct in saying her temps a little low and if you want to try and keep her off the GS pathway then a feed of formula best thing first her now. I agreed without hesitation. It was gone 3pm and I’d not eaten since 10pm the day before so she must have been so hungry too.

@LER2023 hopefully things are progressing for you (and if not that you are as comfortable as one can be at 39/40 weeks!) I also don’t want to be induced - I can’t have a water birth if I am, and I really want to be in the pool - they say it can help with tears etc and if I’m quicker than last time I might need help in that department!

thank you for the tips with the sciatica :) I have a pregnancy pillow between my legs most nights so hopefully that has helped keep it at bay for so long/mild when I do get it! I did some stretches and used a roller massage thingy too. I definitely think one of the best things was the magnesium body lotion I have too - it was feeling better within half an hour of that going on me!

40+1 now and still no sign of little boy coming. We put his book shelf up yesterday and i sorted through his books and put them on the shelf! I ended up doing a lot of organising yesterday and had so much energy! Today on the other hand i just feel like ive taken 10 steps back, im exhausted! I had a walk to the shops this morning for pineapple😅
And since that walk ive had backache!

My midwife seems to think im in slow labour (may as well be slower than a snail at this point. I cant cope🤣)

I definitely want a water birth i have everything packed for a water birth!
So if i have to be induced i'll probably cry!
Ive heard people say its taken like 3 sweeps to get baby out so fingers crossed he makes an appearence after tomorrow.

I never thought of magnesium! I wanted some for my restless legs but thankfully that seems to have eased off a hell of a lot since i got to the later stage of pregnancy.

Im having more pain in my private area and back. Some tummy tightenings but not much at all.

Im now getting the 'is he here yet?' And 'how are you doing?' And 'any signs' messages. Which i dont mind but i really dont need reminding that my son hasnt been born yet🤣

@LER2023 I remember them from my first - she was 11days over too 😩 I’ve just said end of November to people this time round - still only gives me 4 days space lol, but they don’t want me to go over because I’m 41 (although that is my only risk factor so if my growth scan kn the due date shows good blood flow and a healthy placenta then I’ll ask to wait a couple more days. I imagine they will want to monitor me a lot though so who knows if that’s a sensible plan - I’m sure regular trips to hospital for monitoring isn’t going to help get things moving lol!

fingers crossed that tomorrow gets the ball rolling for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻 xx

@LER2023 forgot to say - the magnesium was amazing! I used it pre-pregnancy to help my peri-menopausal sleep, the vream I have is pregnancy/breastfeeding safe, so I will continue to use that post birth if I can breastfeed, but ai can’t wait to go back on the tablets I had. I felt like it made me deep sleep really restorative - and I’m pretty sire I’ll need that with a newborn an a 4yr old who forces me to be a morning person against my will haha!

@Xwx1010 how are you feeling now? Did they remove your tube due to the growth?

I’ve been really unlucky and have an infection. I was being so careful so I’m gutted as it’s set me back a bit. I was pain free but very tender again now. Breast feeding didn’t go to plan for us, we do the odd short feed but she gets very upset when the milk isn’t quick enough so I’m expressing now and husband is giving the odd bottle of goats milk. I’m just happy baby is eating well and gaining weight. These last few weeks have been amazing, I’ve never cried so many happy tears 🙈

Oooooo! I might need to invest in these for both me and my OH! They sound fantastic!

I had a phone call last night from my mum. Shes broken her ankle🤣
I told her its typical since i could give birth at any time now!😬 shes out of action for atleast 6 weeks now🤣 so i will have to take baby to her to see him when hes here rather than her coming to us!

Today is hopefully the day when baby makes an appearence!
His sister is going for radio iodine treatment on wednesday and will be in isolation for a week and a half and shes one of my birth partners😅

Honestly cant write it. Definitely the most memorable pregnancy🤣🤣

How is everyone? And those who's had their bubbas how are you and baby getting on?x

So exciting to see so many happy announcements on this thread, and so many more babies nearly ready to arrive!

Baby girl is just over 2 months now and doing really well. Eating well (breastfeeding), sleeping decently and such a lovely calm and smiley baby.

Wanted to mention that I had an elective c section and it was a very calm process with a smooth recovery. Very sore and reliant on strong painkillers for about 48h, but much better quite quickly after that. Pain increased somewhat by needing to lift my 3yo at various points but no major issues and feeling basically fine at 9w pp. Have been doing some postpartum workout classes and yoga and starting to feel stronger again.

Thought id pop on and share that we had our baby boy in the early hours of the 19th.
He was born 19/11/25 at 4.10am weighing a lovely 7 pound 4!
After over 24 hours of contractions, tears and anger we finally have our rainbow baby!
I wasnt able to have a water birth which really disappointed me! My BP was far too high and his heart rate was dropping due to distress, he ended up pooing inside me, so i had continuous monitoring! i had a 2nd degree tear and luckily had an epidural that they couldnt get in twice lmao. 3rd time lucky! After around 10/15 minutes of pushing he came out into the world screaming and wanting cuddles.
Hes absolutely beautiful and to top off him being here he asked me to marry his daddy🥰

Best day of my life thus far! Im excited for whats to come but also shitting myself every single minute!!