Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

@Jade3110 it’s crazy isn’t it!! I remember going in at 6pm and they were like “you’re only 3cms” and I was very much “I want the pool, will I still get the pool, are the pools free?!” Then at 7pm I said to my husband we needed the midwife and she re-chdcked me and I was 7cms 😂 all I said was “do I still get the pool?” She ran out to get it filled lol. My daughter was the same with her hand - she managed to nick me on the way out so I bled (which is why they got me out the pool) so this time I’m hoping little hands with razor shape finger nails are out the way lol!

Hopefully things are going well with the adjustment to 4 xx

I had my 36week growth scan yesterday - all good! The little buddha belly has dropped from 95th percentile to 83rd so that’s good lol! Currently weighing 6lbs bless her! Bloods show that my iton levels are still rising (just so blooming slowly 😂) but platlets have dropped. Not scary low, but given I had a bleed last time they are now getting me to have a phonecall to go back over my birth plan - I was fine on the birthing ward last time so that’s is what I will ask for again I think

I keep saying to my OH i want the most natural birth as possible!
We've agreed he will probably be our first and last because of the grief and pain that this pregnancy has brought me.

Might be different when i lose like 6 stone🤣🤣
I might be in a better position to have another one, but the pain from PGP has pretty much put me off having anymore🫠 so i want it to be as natural as possible so i can experience it.
Ive said csection and epidural will be the very last things on my list but i want a water birth my midwife was like we dont like putting you in the pool until around 4cm.. but you can go in the bath😅

Like i cant fit in my bath!!! I hope the baths at the hospital are bigger ive heard theyre tiny🫠

im getting a little fed up now, nearly 38 weeks, can barely walk and i cant get outside on my own because it takes me so long to walk and even then i have like braxton hicks when i do and theyre super uncomfortable so im a home hermit at the minute and its getting me down a little😂🙃

Best days of my life are going to the midwife🤣🤣

Im so ready for this baby to come! Ive enjoyed pregnancy (a little) other than the pain and discomfort it makes me a little sad that he may be my first and last!

Ive woken up with some discomfort in my vagina.. it was always the pubic bone and today it was the vagina.
Its gone away so i wonder if baby was laying funny this morning🤣

The thought of pumping makes me feel a little sick, although i love getting it and i feel so happy with myself about it, yesterday i thought im going to try and pump.. and i gipped at the thought of it.
I really need to keep it up to keep it going, but its just making me feel a little sick🤣
I didnt pump yesterday which makes me feel so bad, i know i need to pump today but the thought of pumping is making me so nauseous!🙃🤢 any tips for this?🤣

I was so glad the midwife had run the pool without asking as I made my way to the hospital with my daughter. I was in the midwife led unit and I had only been 2cm when last checked about a hour earlier and she said I could stay even if I was still 2cm ... I was 10! After she did the exam I immediately whipped off my clothes and climbed straight in naked forgetting the bikini I had in my bag and started to push a few minutes later. The pool in my room was more like a hot tub than a bath.

I told my partner that I wanted him to help me make decisions that kept me calm with my daughter and with my son the concern was my energy levels and coping with the fatigue. Thankfully this was unnecessary as everyone was onboard that if I said I need to lie down and sleep I needed to lie down and sleep and felt no pressure to stand up or be in a certain position. Once I got the point I couldn't stand and couldn't move from the bed the midwives were real good at contorting the bed into different positions to help me get comfortable without me actually moving at all. Might something for you to consider @LER2023

He knows me better than I know myself and he recognised when I was in labour with my daughter that I was probably further along than I thought so pushed me to phone triage again whereas I wanted to eat lunch first. Baby would have been born at home had I done that!

Remember pain relief isn't just about pain management but also about allowing you to rest. A friend had a 4 day induction ended with a c section. She had pethidine on day 2 which allowed her to get a few hours of semi decent sleep which topped up her energy to get through the following days

@LER2023 I said never again whilst I was pregnant and then when she was a new born and when she was 1. Then around 2 I started thinking maybe and by 3 yes but are we mad? 3.5 we started trying. Then remembered how to I hated pregnancy! This pregnancy was so different to the others but also feeling very much like never again!

@LER2023 if you have a few syringes you should be ok. Just express when you feel able too don't worry if you don't feel up to it.
My son has issues with blood sugars at birth. He was too sleepy to wake up to feed even been stripped down to a nappy. I didn't have any colostrum. The first feed I didn't manage to harvest any colostrum so was give a formula or glucose. I went with formula he had about 15ml. He didn't wake for the next feed either and had low blood sugars I had managed to express 1ml of colostrum so he had that and 15 ml of formula. The next feed he wouldn't wake either I couldn't get colostrum and he wouldn't take the formula either. He then evacuated all of the meconium! 5 poos over about 3 minutes I had to get the midwife to help me clean him up. This woke him up enough to breastfeed for a couple of minutes. At the next feed his blood sugars were borderline but he did wake for that feed. From then on he woke for feeds and we didn't have any issues with blood sugars.

It would have been handy to have the colostrum already but in the end it was only 12h where we had issues and needed top up and after that he breastfed pretty well... Especially considering he had a 100% tongue tie! Any colostrum you can get is great but don't fret if you can't. Learning how to express I found was the biggest benefit of trying to harvest colostrum. I never managed to collect any with my daughter but did learn how to get some but she didn't have any issues with blood sugars and feeding

Baby girl was delivered by c-section on Wednesday 29th. In theatre they checked for a heartbeat just before they started and really struggled to find one, we thought we had lost her, it was such a huge relief to hear her cry when she was delivered. I didn’t enjoy the section and I’m definitely not enjoying the recovery but I have no regrets. She is absolutely perfect!!!
I hope you are all doing well!

They lost my son's heartbeat during labour, it's utterly terrifying! Definitely huge relief to hear that first cry!
Congratulations and I hope your recovery is smooth from here @Pumpkinspice13

Congratulations on your baby girl. Im really sorry it wasnt the best time for you all! Glad shes safe and sound though! Lots of snuggles in order for little Miss! X

Thank you! I’ve barely put her down, I can’t stop staring at her. I’m completely exhausted but loving every minute with her. X

Congrats @Jade3110 !! Enjoy your newborn bubble.

Wow @Pumpkinspice13 I didn’t even know that was a thing.. thank you for sharing although new fear unlocked. Congratulations on your daughter’s arrival.

I think I could be having a C-section so would welcome any tips/tricks for the procedure and recovery when you have a second to yourself.

How soon is everyone else’s due dates now? So crazy that this is the month you will have your babies.. how have we come from first trimester horror of 12 wk scan to here!! 34wks for me but really feeling “pregnant” now.. aching, the extra weight, sooo tired (although on iron tablets so not sure what’s normal and what’s not). Brought my mat leave forward a week as couldn’t cope with the idea of waiting until 38wks with how I feel right now!

Many congrats @Jade3110 and @Pumpkinspice13 . Not commented for a while but it's great this thread is still active. Feeling a little concern for the OP @CloudsInMyCoffee09 as haven't heard from them in some months now.

my due date is 19 Nov but scheduled a c-section hopefully before or on due date .

im knackered all the time due to anemia . Got my 2nd iron infusion on Tuesday. I don't feel the first has made a difference yet and it's been almost 2 weeks since having it. I'm just hopeful it kicks in before birth .....

all the very best to everyone xx

Its scary to think we've had babies or still awaiting the day when he have our babies!!
Im due on 15th, got a sweep booked in on the 10th!
As a first time mum, im absolutely shitting myself to think i'm going to be a mum! Ive wanted it for so long. The anxiety has definitely been worth it!

I finished work at 34 weeks with annual leave to take me to 36 weeks.
Im glad i did because its difficult now!! At 38 weeks😂
I cant roll over in bed, i need a wee when i really dont its just a dribble but even the walk up and down the stairs is exhausting and i sat down on the loo inbetween each set🤣
My OH always says to me you sound like you've ran a marathon love🤣🤣
And i always feel like i have! I cooked tea today, it was only pie, mash and veg... my god i was sweating and out of breath!!!🤣

Not be long now before all our babies are here x

@Pumpkinspice13 congratulations!! I’m sorry for how traumatic it was but so gald all is well now! Are you on instagram at all? There is a really good account I follow called the360mama - it has some really great c-section recovery tips (and general postpartum recovery too) from simple things like the best way to sit up/get out of bed with out straining too much etc!
@LER2023 your husband is not wrong - apparently growing a human is the same effort on the body as running a marathon every day until we give birth! I also meant to reply the other day - any colostrum is amazing, but it’s ok if you don’t have any! I didn’t manage to harvest any with my daughter but still had lots of colostrum she has whe she was born! My milk didn’t come in sadly (due to a whole bunch of factors) so I’m hoping to have a different journey this time, but equally I have formular ready just in case this time! I had nothing in the house when we first got my daughter home and I realised my boobs weren’t making any milk. The shops were all shut too so we had tonwait until the fist shop opened and ran to get some formula bless her.

@KT199 I’m not due until 26th Nov (think I might be the last lol) but unless she gets distressed I’m waiting until she is ready if she goes over - I’m too scared to be induced lol! Even though my last labour was quick so I know what it feels like when contractions ramp up fast - but I still get the fear lol!

I think my nesting stage has finally kicked in at 38 weeks and 3 days🤣
Been sat for half an hour cleaning my front door🫠 inside and out🤣
Toothbrush out and ready to get into cracks! I dont want a dirty door for when baby boy makes an appearence!🙃
He'll probably look at it and go mummy you scruff you could have cleaned it prior to me coming home🤣🤣 (probably not because he'll not know he even exists when hes finally here!)

I think im mainly trying to be on my feet so hopefully labour starts before my sweep! His sister keeps wanting to feed me as she calls it 'feeding baby out!'🤣🤣

Im getting restless and annoyed with being a fat ogre at the minute.
Since i left work i havent even straightened my hair! I feel so sorry for my OH, he comes home from work to an ogre with a lions mane, in scatty pyjamas, boobs under my arm pits, probably the worst smell ever even though i shower daily! I feel like i smell😅 a waddling mess at the minute🤣 im so ready to not be pregnant anymore and have baby in my arms so i can feel a little like myself! I didnt wake up until nearly 11 today🙃 but i have been up most of the night😅

Any advice how to feel normal-ish?😅

How is everyone else doing? We've got this! We're almost done and ready to hold our babies tight!! The last stretch!!

Edit to add: my neighbour came outside and went have you not had baby yet? I was like nope 2 weeks left until my due date. She went oh my god i would not be cleaning my front door down with 2 weeks left of my due date...i probably shouldnt be.. but the urge was too strong🤣🤣

@LER2023 that’s so funny - my kitchen floor was bugging me today so it has been hoovered, washed and steam cleaned 😂 Sadly I don’t think there is much to make you feel normal once they drop - once that head is in the pelvis I found it was just about finding whatever positions feel comfortable (if any!)

I had to have a phone call with the obstetrics specialist today to go over my birth plan. She said she was pleased I had chosen hospital and not home birth as my iron is still low, which puts me at risk of a bleed (and because I had one with my first she wanted to be ultra careful I think - although they are pretty sure that was caused by my daughter having her hand in a weird position and basically scratching me on the way out 🙄) but she also said she would rather I gave birth on a bed, so labour in the pool but go on the bed for actual delivery as it is easier to monitor if I was to bleed - but I so want a water birth!! Last time I got out when they spotted I had started bleeding so I feel like I can just do that again if needed. She also reiterated being induced not very long after my due date - but I don’t know, everyone I know who was induced didn’t have great births and ended up with a lot of extra intervention and distress so I just feel so conflicted! They also called me in for last minute bloods to see if my B12 is low as they think that might be low too! I am also ready to have bubba now 😂

For what it's worth I had a straightforward induction and didn't have interventions. I was told that if you have had previous straightforward births your body tends to respond well to the induction. I had my sweep at 36+6 and was induced the next day.
I had a sweep that kicked in the contractions. If I hadn't been so unwell I probably would have given it more time to see if I would go into labour without induction. The midwife said it was probably 50:50 that I wouldn't need the pessetry. I only had it in for 4h in the end.
I did need my waters breaking towards the end but that was due to how unwell it was and being immobile because of that.

My in-laws cleaned my house at the weekend. I was so grateful I hadn't had a deep clean since the summer with how my pregnancy ended I did get chance to do any nesting. I've been staring at the dust under the TV unit for the last 2 months with it bugging me every day. I'd have a look around the room you will spend your time in with a newborn and get on top of anything that will niggle you!
One thing I managed to do before birth was getting all the bedding washed and changed as that's something I find can soon slip from priorities. It was nice to come out of hospital to pretty much clean bedding!

Hopefully everything goes as planned @Bellabubble
Im running late for my midwife appointment today and i feel awful for it.
But the thought of trying to walk has been honestly the most painful thing ever!
I definitely need to speak to a MW about the pain today, because the pain is just ridiculous now! Fingers crossed she can advise me or she could just tell me to wait until monday for my sweep😅

@Superscientist thank you - that’s good to know. They also said to me because I was wuick last time, that usually the same happens with induction, although I know that comes with other challenges as well (is there a sweet spot of labour time though lol?! You always hear too fast and too slow aren’t great - but I never hear of the “just right” scenarios!) I’m pleased that your in laws were so helpful too - little gestures like that are so important when you are in the trenches of newborn-ness! Not necessarily in a bad way either - I had days obviously where I was tired/low on energy/down etc - but even good days I had lots of moments where I just wanted snuggles and cuddles and cleaning was not on my agenda even though I hate mess.

@LER2023 thank you! My bloods came back as normal fo folate and B12, so it’s just continuing to take the iron, although they are thinking about an infusion to get it up quicker. I hope your midwife appointment went well?

It went perfectly! We spoke about monday, whats going to happen at the sweep, booked in for a second sweep on Thursday and then going to book 2 more in for the week after as i said i really do NOT want to be induced, i want to go as natural as i can as i want a water birth and i wont be able to have one if im induced.
So we have a plan to try and get him out sooner rather than going through an induction process.

I nipped into our old local yesterday and everyone was shocked to see me with a week and a half left of my pregnancy🤣
I even had someone say how long you got left? I went a week and a half and they actually went WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU HERE?! HOW ARE YOU HERE?🤣

i went because i havent really left the house since being on maternity leave since 34 weeks pregnant... its been 4 weeks and i havent been able to get around much😅

I spoke to my mum on the phone for 2 hours yesterday morning which made my heart so happy! We havent had a long conversation on the phone in years❤️

Shes finally come round to the fact im pregnant... you know 38 weeks in🤣
Shes excited to meet baby and keeps telling me everything will be okay and i know where she is if i need her!

Midwife mentioned after feeling around for him and his head that he wasnt low enough yet...🙂... he needs to be lower...🙂...

You know its not like hes not sat directly over my pubic bone.. or it feels like he is.. but he can get LOWER! i feel like my vaginas already going to fall out as it is let alone him not being fully down in the birth canal yet🤣 so ive been recommended to use my ball, side step on my stairs, put a pillow between my legs while sat on the sofa and in bed (which is extremely painful) ive woken up with a very swollen throat in the night too.. like the avula i think its called (the dangly thing in the back of my throat) is very swollen and sore which is nice.. i havent been poorly at all since i got pregnant.. im 39 weeks saturday and ive ended up with a sore throat.. everyone else has been poorly with different things norovirus, V&D, colds, flu's and ive been avoiding them like plague.. and its finally got me! Its only a sore throat for now.. but its hit me😭
But i dont know whether its because im run down from the lack of sleep from getting up at all hours. Thinking i'll have an early night, falling asleep at around 830 yesterday i woke up at 11 didnt manage to get back to sleep until around 130 then my OH woke me up at 2 as he needed the loo (hes worse than a pregnant woman at night) and then his alarm went off at 445 waking me up again and then i woke up naturally at 6.30 refused to get up, fell back to sleep around 8 and woke up at 10.30🙃

Im sure my body and my OH is trying to get me ready for the nights with a newborn.. ive been having on and off cramping in my bump with some backache, it doesnt last long so i just put it down to braxton hicks and gas since hes not that far down yet!

Im hoping baba comes after Monday as everyones excited to meet him now!
Me more than anyone else like but yeah🤣

His sister has to go for her cancer treatment on the 19th.. so im hoping she can be there for the birth of her first nephew! Shes been with us through everything including the 3 losses we've had, so we wanted her to be there at the birth.. so im hoping he comes before she goes for her treatment. Starting to get fed up and a little emotional at this point, i think its more chronic pain than anything else!

Lets hope the infusions work best for you! Let us know how you get on xx

Than you all 🥰
@KT199 My recovery is going well and I would say it is down to all the rest I’m having.

Alternating paracetamol and ibuprofen every few hours is helping with the pain at home, wished I had something stronger in those first few days though.
In hospital I had the pessarys and I had oramorph that they gave me during my section but that doesn’t agree with me and made me extremely itchy so I didn’t have any more after, I wish I had though because I was ready to pass out walking out of hospital, made it to the lift and my husband had to go find a wheel chair. I was in the car home 25 hours after baby was born.
I have the blood thinning injections for 6 weeks, they really sting but I’ve worked out that I’m still numb in parts of my stomach so I only inject in those areas now and don’t feel a thing.
I found sleeping upright less painful at the start as it wasn’t as far for me to get up in the night to feed and change baby.
It feels so difficult in the beginning and I cried a lot, I really struggled with not being able to do everything and having to stay in bed but it does get better really quickly.

Hope everyone is doing well, looking forward to seeing some more birth announcements soon!

Ive been for my sweep this morning and was told i am currently 2cm dilated so fingers crossed he will be here soon enough!!

2cm dilated and ive felt a few backaches and a few cramps but nothing major lets hope this sweep helps.

Also to add the sweep was horrendous, i came out sweating and she was pretty rough🤣🤣 but got very excited when she said she was through my cervix and stopped for a minute to let me get my breath and then went in for another sweep around!

Exciting!! Hopefully won’t be long now! They should not be aloud to touch the cervix without gas and air 😂😂 x

@Pumpkinspice13 I’m glad things are getting easier in the recovery - it’s so hard as becoming a parent is so full on yet it’s when you need the most rest ever!

@LER2023 I have been thinking of you today! Hopefully as you were 2cms dilated already it will get things moving 🤞🏻 I had no clue that you could dilate a few weeks before labour until my midwife mentioned it this pregnancy. My body was the complete opposite - decided to do it all in one short burst 😂 My friend told me hers was brutal - she wasn’t dilated yet either, but somehow she ended up leaking amniotic fluid so had to be induced. From what I have heard, if you are already on the way to labour then sweeps are more successful, and it sounds like your body was definitely getting ready!

I’m still 2.5weeks away officially - lots of tightness and lower back ache around the abdomen now, and I feel like little ladies movents aren’t so much kicks anymore - more a constant fidget to get comfy. I do vaguely remember that from my first pregnancy too, not long before I gave birth. I’m ready to have space back in my body and to be able to (slowly) get more active again with my 4yr old - she is doing really well but she is struggling with me being slower/less mobile etc poor thing!

I asked the question ladies and i feel utterly lied to🤣🤣🤣