Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

How are you all getting on? 🙂

Crazy but exciting to think you’re all due next month and some babies may even appear this month!!

Im 30wks tomorrow and have had it quite plain sailing so far. Although, 28wk midwife appointment my bump measured below 3rd centile so I had to be referred for a growth scan. That just brought up so much anxiety which wasn’t nice.. but luckily the scan showed him to be around 60th centile and they’ve said I’m probably just hiding him quite well due to being petite, active and him being first baby. Funny to think before that appointment I honestly thought I had a huge bump!!

I had the same @KT199 with both babies my bump was 10th percentile but had people telling me what a big bump I had. My daughter was on the 56th percentile at birth not sure where that was on my chart. My son was 50th percentile with growth scans and which would have given him and estimated birth weight at 37 weeks of 6lb but he was 6lb 12 at birth. Only 30g less than my daughter who was born nearly 2 weeks later so would have been even higher up the growth chart. I gained very little in pregnancy with both of them so not sure if that made my bump measured smaller. I was only 5.5kg above my booking weight when I gave birth to him, I'm petite too

How are you @Pumpkinspice13 did you hear back regarding your bloods?

I had exactly the same at my 28 week appointment @KT199 - measured below the third and went for a scan next day, measured at 65th! I’ve had one growth scan since and they measured 46th and got another one on Monday.

I had my 34 week midwife appointment on Monday, scheduled for a home birth if all goes to plan with the growth scans so the appointment was at home, my midwife is very pro home birth so it was lovely. However a few very busy days the last few days made me question baby’s movements so I’ve been up to maternity triage this evening for some checks, all is fine and I’m now in bed being pummelled from the inside!

anxiety is getting worse for me, I feel like we’re in touching distance now but can’t relax. I saw a gorgeous cardigan in next earlier that says “my first Christmas” on the back but I just couldn’t bring myself to buy it just in case. I have started washing baby bits now though so at least I’m starting to get a bit prepared, and the hospital bag is open on the spare bed so been filling that up with bits in case home birth isn’t a go! My midwife said she doesn’t think I will go to 40 weeks and it’s sent my husband into a bit of a panic, he said he didn’t quite realise how close we are now!

A home birth sounds so nice!
Ive started washing everything, getting ready for when i do inevitably go into labour!
Started having dreams of labour and breastfeeding too lately and baby will not get comfy inside😅 i either have a bum, foot or hand sticking out at best of times and although i tell him if he doesnt put it back in as sometimes it hurts hes grounded. He still doesnt listen🤣
I have midwife next wednesday afternoon and the health visitor next friday morning!

Ive hit 34 weeks and everything is seeming to be a phase at the minute. Like nothing is real😅 pregnancy after loss for you i guess! I finished work on Friday and i came home with 9 gift bags packed full of things for him!! I only got the odd couple of bits eg. Chocolates, socks, pamper set. But i got so many clothes in the bigger sizes.

I got a little santa outfit for him too (me and my colleague who i work closely with are all about christmas, we dress up for it as we work in a childrens hospital) so thats exciting to put him in closer to christmas or christmas day!!

We have absolutely everything we need for him, but waiting for him to make a show now. Although now im just worried about stillbirth😬 i think its just because i never thought id come home with a baby, so now im terrified of that and i just dont know why!! I feel him being so active, he has his sleep and wake times apparently which im used to now, but its just a horrible feeling that im not going to come home with a baby!😔

I’ve not heard anything so I’m hoping all is well. I have my midwife weds so will ask her to check the results for me. I totally understand how you are both feeling, my anxiety has definitely ramped up as I get closer to the end.

Yes I’m definitely the same, just can’t envision a situation where we have an actual baby here with us! I have started to do the bare minimum of sorting so have enough bits together if I were to go into labour anytime soon we’d be ok but that’s all

Oh and @LER2023 I’ve also started having dreams about breastfeeding! I don’t think I had any with my son

@Superscientist sorry - I meant to reply to say thank you! I saw my midwife on Weds and had bloods done - by the time when I went to bed that evening, all the body parts that were itchy actually came up with gnat bites!! Very random as the itching started Sunday or Monday (can’t quite remember now!) and if I get bitten I usually get the bite marks within the day - so at least 48hrs later is very strange! But they were literally everywhere! Palms of my hand, soles of my feet, fingers - even 3 on one boob!

I had a growth scan on Weds too - so far theybare happy, little lady is now 50th percentile, but I know scans can be out by 20% either way. Her head is also very firmly in the pelvis so I’m on my pilates ball a lot now lol.

@LER2023 I have noticed there have been a lot of celebrities opening up on social media that have had babies born sleeping - I absolutely applaud them talking about it (I have had 3 friends, 2 with later 2nd trimester loses and one full term too) but when you are already anxious after losses, seeing and hearing their stories hits differently. I feel for them so much, and also worry more for what could still happen. I would definitely say if you are very worried, call triage or your midwife. I have always been told they would rather check and be safe!

@Jade3110 I’d love a home birth! Most people that check my previous labour notes say it could be good as I had a precipitous labour with my first. My midwife is pro home birth too - hopefully my iron levels will be back up by then, as I don’t think they let you have a home birth if the iron levels are too low. The consultant said next appointment if they aren’t up they will try an iron IV as it’s quicker, and hopefully that will help withbthe home birth plan! 🤞🏻

Thank you @Superscientist and @Jade3110 im glad I’m not the only one with a small bump it’s reassuring to hear. I’ve been discharged back to the midwife following the scan, so it’ll be interesting to see at next weeks appointment what measurements say.

@LER2023 I can completely understand the still birth worry. My sister actually experienced one so it lives rent free in my head and since reaching the third trimester it’s been absolutely horrendous. I think prior I felt like my baby wouldn’t have much chance to survive if born so the fear wasn’t the same.. now it’s getting louder and louder in my head. I am actually asking to discuss my birth options as a result. But you are not alone in these thoughts as horrible and scary as they are.

What dates are people actually due? 😊

Im due 15th November, but everyone keeps saying he will probably come on halloween🤣

I wouldnt mind a halloween baby, we can have a halloween/birthday party for him!

It still seems so far away!😅

Growth scan for me today, the rate has dropped again from 46th to around 25th centile. The consultant said he wasn’t worried as it’s in the normal range but we’re ramping up monitoring just in case so a scan next week to check blood flow and another one the week after. I saw on his screen it said home birth and he didn’t say anything about it not being able to have it, he said he doesn’t want to talk about induction at this point, just monitoring. So everything crossed it will still be ok!

im due 11/11 which feels like a magic number after loss. It’s my 40th birthday on Halloween though and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Im in labour then!

im seeing quite a bit of loss on socials at the min but think its because its baby loss awareness month, it is triggering though!

Hi all, can’t remember what I’ve updated - due to the 7cm growth they found I’ve been moved hospitals now to one which is bigger - ICU/blood bank on site etc just incase so seeing the consultant there end of the week and will hopefully get pre-op and section date.
I’m due the 11/11 according to ivf dates, hosp have it a few days earlier so I’m expecting to go in very early Nov.

waking about 5 times a night for the loo and often have a few hours spell where I’m awake and end up needing a snack! feet in back/ribs a lot makes it really difficult to get comfy! PGP still ongoing but definitely better when I just rest.

very ready for them to arrive anytime now but also very worried about birth and keep playing over them not being ok or something going wrong (also have stillbirth on the mind). Will mention to midwife and consultant this week too.

sending hugs to everyone on the homestretch. X

@Xwx1010 glad to hear from you! I completely missed that they had found a growth. Sounds like you are in good hands and they are taking all the right precautions. I hope you are being well looked after! It’s getting very close now. Have they told you the plans for treatment after birth? Don’t feel you have to answer!!
Let them know at your pre op how you are feeling as they may aim for the beginning of the week so not to leave you waiting too long. I asked my consultant for week 38 and they were great about it and agreed for me to have baby a week earlier and booked my pre op for 24th.

@Pumpkinspice13 its all very ‘don’t know’ at the moment if its a cyst or fibroid or what. I did have a 2cm fibroid when the embryo was transferred so it could be this that’s grown, but baby’s head is casting a shadow on it so it’s unclear!
I’ll have a mri and op after it to remove it. Had a cancer test that was v low so hopefully that’s ruled out.
consultant seems to think it shouldn’t cause an issue at delivery but not sure how you can be sure of that given you haven’t been able to have a proper look at it! And why transfer me hospitals if that’s the case… anyway I’m just doing what’s safest so happy to move hospitals.
im content with early Nov for section just don’t want to be pushed late into that week so I’ll just have to hope in a bit of a priority with all the complications!
Really hope yours goes smoothly! do let us know when baby arrives and how you are doing!

life got a baby first aid class this week and just going to finish my online hypnobirthing course and then I think I’m all done with my tasks. Bag packed too! Just want them safely out and the delivery over so I can finally breathe and enjoy them! X

Had my midwife appointment yesterday and shes checking my bloods for ICP. fun.. the itching is a bit of a bitch😅

We're going to go through my birth plan next week and may have to have my bloods redone! Its weird to think i'll be having a baby soon!!! We touched on my birth plan and she asked me whether i know what i want. I told her straight away what i wanted. She was a bit shocked🤣
I was like as soon as i was pregnant i knew what i wanted lmao

I have the health visitors coming tomorrow morning, and my midwife said she usually likes to come out herself, but said theyre so understaffed and she only wants to go to the people theyre worried about and for us. She doesnt feel very worried. Which is a lovely thing. My OH surprised me by coming to the midwife yesterday without telling me🤣

PGP is getting worse.. urgh.. i was sat with my mum and told her i had to move as my hip was starting to seize up and i tried to move and couldnt... i just couldnt walk🙄

Glad to have finished work, however this week im in the mindset of get the house clean!!!! Then i can relax🤣

I might be able to relax next week instead🤣

Im now waking up after 3 hour intervals.. which is a bit of a dick. Like i just want ti sleep, but its literally every 3 hours im up🤣 guessing baby is getting me ready for the night shifts! Hahaha hows everyone else doing? Hope you're all doing well xx

It absolutely didn't feel real to me until I got the call for induction! We picked up the newborn clothes on our way to the hospital! The only other thing I bought in advance was a baby grow from my daughter to baby and a pack of newborn nappies as I knew they could go into the food bank basket if I didn't use them!
A family friend had a still birth and a baby in our NCT group with my daughter had a neonatal death so until he was here and in my arms it didn't feel like it was going to happen.

@Jade3110 I hope you get your home birth, I hope the scan next week goes ok.

@Bellabubble at least you have an explanation for itching even though the gnat bites don't sound fun. How are you doing with your iron levels now?

@KT199 it's good the scan was ok,I hope your next appointment goes ok

@LER2023 I hope you got on ok with the HV. I hope your bloods are ok, where's the itchy and when? I think I read when I was diagnosed that only about 10% of itching is icp so hopefully it's not. The hallmarks of the icp itch is it mostly being your hands and feet, worse at night and no rash. The bloods are usually turned around in 24h, it might be worth a call to your midwife or triage to see if they are back yet if you haven't heard. I'm sorry your pgp is getting worse, don't overdo the housework and call on any offers of help so you can get the rest you need.

@Xwx1010 I hope everything goes ok, it must be worrying but hopefully when you have a date you know there's end in sight.

I hope you get your Halloween babies. I was convinced my daughter was going to be born either at the end of August so it would be on my mum's birthday or the 1st September so she'd be in the school year above and with my son it would be the end August again for mums birthday but also sneaky into the year above and was wrong on both counts.

I've had my first set of post birth icp bloods and my bile acids are back to normal and my liver function tests are less bad so that's good however now my urates are now out of range. So far I have had problems with my liver, my platelets, breakdown of red blood cells and now my urates. No one can tell me if it's one problem, lots of problems, "just" pregnancy or my body generally falling apart. I'm still fatigued and now low too. My psychiatrist thinks there's still something physical going on as well as it being mood related. I've been back on an antidepressant for 2 weeks now and have my 6 week check with the GP and more blood tests in a couple of weeks.

Sounds stressful @Superscientist with ongoing health issues, naively you’d just hope it all disappeared post pregnancy when it appeared that was the cause.

Time feels to have suddenly started to go so slow and so fast at the same time for me.

How has everyone found tracking movements? Since about 28 wks I’ve found it really stressful.. he has a pattern but not necessarily time based more food and baths wake him up. I keep worrying I’m missing a sign he might not be okay and I’m going to miss something and it end badly 😞. I have midwife this week so I am going to let her know how I’m feeling and see if she has any suggestions.

Hope everyone is well 😊 can’t believe your due date month is only a few short weeks away!!!!

@Superscientist how are you feeling? It’s so hard post partum to know whether things are hormone and sleep deprivation related or whether other things are at play! I hope you get some answers soon 🤞🏻 I have my next lot of bloods on Weds - I feel better in that my heart palpitations have resuced quite a bit, but I still feel quite short of breath at times and little lady has dropped so I don’t think it’s my lungs getting squished. If they haven’t come up enough next step is IV iron transfusion as it’s quicker. That would be a bonus in that I’d hopefully be more likely to get the home birth - although my husband is wary of that because of my blood loss with my first labour, but equally wary as I had a fast labour lol. They think my daughter managed to scratch me on the way out though so it wasn’t too sinister.

How is everyone doing? I’m finding this week quite tough with it being baby loss awareness week, so many heartbreaking stories and I can’t help but think what could have been. Also still really anxious that this little one won’t get to come home. 36+1 today and just hoping we don’t fall at the last hurdle. Sending love to anyone who might be struggling too x

Sending love @Jade3110. I’ve also struggled so much this week with seeing so much online.. and I keep getting posts today about the wave of light tonight also. It is making me really emotional, I have felt incredibly close to tears a few times this week. It’s such a struggle as I am so grateful for this pregnancy and baby but the fear and anxiety is very overwhelming. I think this is why I feel so much pressure in relation to tracking movement as I feel wholly responsible for making sure everything is okay with him and if not I need to get him help ASAP.

Yes 100% agree @KT199 I feel like I’m obsessed with movement.
also had a few tears this week! I’m at yoga tonight so won’t be home for the wave of light, but I will be thinking of my angel and who they might have been. Really hope no one mentions it at yoga as don’t think I can hold the tears in!
im working from home today so been trying to do a few bits of nesting which is nice, setting up all their little things and folding tiny clothes. Such a bittersweet time isn’t it x

I haven’t had too much come through on social media this year - I had a loss around this time last year so blocked certain words/hashtags so I wouldn’t see as much. I do see some bits still, but it definitely helped as last year I was inundated - and the same when I had just had my daughter back in 21, all social media kept bombarding me with were really ill children. It terrified me!

I had my midwife appointment yesterday - 34weeks, bubs is all good, but iron is still low. It is coming up and is out of the lower stages, but my markers are only plus 1 on each area since 2 weeks ago 🙄 I have a growth scan in 2 weeks again so they may suggest the iron transfusion. My midwife put that the baby was 3/5 engaged (doesn’t mean a huge amount in terms of when you go into labour) but the discomfort when I sit for too long or need to drive anywhere is a bit of a pain - especially as I get tired quickly when standing or walking thanks to the anaemia!

i hope everyone is doing ok in thr final stages!

@Superscientist I hope you have some
more answers/are feeling better?

Sorry i havent been active, ive been sleeping more since my annual leave/maternity started.

Today ive woken up from my nap and my foofy feels severely swollen🤣 it isnt. But gosh it feels like it aches!! Hopefully baby is just settling into the right position!!

I havent got ICP which is great! Im so ready for this baby now, the discharge is ridiculous. I probably should start wearing underwear and pads because im going through new pj bottoms every day🤣

I dont have social media thankfully so i dont see the posts for loss awareness. But im always thinking about the losses ive had and as much as i may piss and moan about pain and aching and the lack of sleep i am so grateful for this pregnancy and could cry some days thinking that in 4 weeks or less i'll be a momma for the first time!

What does the 3/5 engagement mean? My midwife asked me other week whether baby was head down previously and i said yes hes been head down for a couple of weeks and she went 'oh thats good' but never really went into why she asked me that question, i cant see inside and see where he is🤣

Ive had no type of rib pain since hes meant to have moved into place?
But people always say oh babys feet are in my ribs.. is my baby broken?🤣🤣
I always think his feet are in my sides like hes laid in a 'C' shape sort of thing?
I can say he is head down... as i feel like he might actually fall out at times.
He seems like a very sleepy baby, he has his times when hes active and thats mainly at night😅 i cant bend down anymore.. wow thats painful trying to do so!

Do you think they will put you on the infusion?

Thankfully my iron has been fantastic throughout pregnancy. Before i got pregnant i was told to get some OTC iron tablets as a precaution because my iron was dropping... now its the best its ever been!!

@LER2023 sorry for the slow reply! Crazy week last week - I ended up feeling super tired again (probably not helped by having to stand roadside for about 2.5hrs after my card broke down! £700 worth of car work needing to be done later 😬 not what was needed before I’m about to go on MAT leave lol!

3/5 engaged means 2/5 of the head is in the pelvis and 3/5 is still out - but it doesn’t means anything in how close/far away labour is sadly lol! My first dropped at 33weeks and was engaged not long after and I still went to 41+5. They say the 2nd can actually pop in and out of engagement and it’s not uncommon forbthem to not engage fully until labour starts - but this little lady has decided to keep on going and make me feel as uncomfortable as her older sister did!

if it helps - I have never had kicks in the ribs - both mine have been curled round in C shapes! I get more kicks/feet/elbows poking out at the top of my sides if that makes sense?

I’m hoping I can have the iron IV thingy - more so I can have higher iron levels post birth! I had anaemia post delivery last time and it was soooo tiring on top of the newborn (lovely) craziness lol!

I went to see my midwife today for a routine appointment.
Baby is super head down and ive been booked in for a sweep at 39 weeks!!! Ahhhhh im nervous for it now!