Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 thats great news! I’m so pleased.

@Lalalala77 good luck for your scan today.

@Lalalala77 yes the best of luck for your scan today. Will be thinking of you xx

Hello all - 10+4 here and so many familiar feelings 💐 Sending all positive thoughts for scans/checks today and just generally hoping everyone is doing ok.

Something I'm finding really hard is trying not to think about it too much so you don't get invested/risk hurt, when that's not really realistic. Whatever you do you still have to watch what you're eating, keep up appointments, deal with symptoms etc. Mad the lengths your brain goes to to try to protect itself!

Hi and welcome!

I'm exactly the same. After my last MC I told myself that I wouldn't acknowledge being pregnant for as long as possible (I wasn't drinking etc anyway and was already taking my pre natal vitamins).

However, I still tested early which prolongs it all even more haha, and I think about it literally all the time to the point I struggle to focus at work. Even if I wasn't feeling so tired and sick all the time, I'd still be consumed by it all - it's just impossible to ignore isn't it.

I think about the pregnancy all the time, but what my brain won't let me think about it actually having a baby at the end of it. It'll be a big day when I eventually let myself believe that!

Do you have any scans or anything coming up?
xxx

I held of doing a pregnancy test for 3 weeks this time around! I would have tested 5 weeks after my loss when my period hadn't arrived after my miscarriage but I entered in consultation period for redundancy and didn't want to know one way or another whilst going through that. Having had hyperemesis previously I was banking on that to inform me that I was pregnant. I started with a bit of nausea and tested after a few days. I got a 3+ on the clear blue digit and thought yep 5 weeks feels about right for this level of nausea. Super surprised when I found I was already 8 weeks.

I wasn't really drinking and was taking prenatal vitamins but was on caffeinated drinks. It's hard on the mind having to behave as if it's going to be a successful pregnancy but having the doubt it will be successful. I remember with my last loss it felt wrong having a sip of alcohol even though we'd had the scan showing the pregnancy had ended.

Unfortunately wasn’t good news for me today. Miscarriage number 4 🙃
Thanks for all being supportive and I wish you all the best of luck throughout!

@ginoa @CloudsInMyCoffee09 - completely agree. I told myself before I got pregnant that I wouldn’t test until later, would download any of the apps and generally wouldn’t think about it. But as you say, it’s impossible not to think about, particularly when you have to adjust diet etc. (and my job involves lots of client entertaining, so I need to look as if I am drinking while not actually doing so). I know I’ll be devastated if this goes wrong so trying to “protect” myself is pointless - equally, I currently feel really fatalistic and disconnected from it all (I know I’m pregnant, but no longer connect that word with their actually being a baby), so I don’t have any happiness and excitement about it. Basically the worst of both worlds!

Oh I'm so so sorry 💔I hope you're as ok as you possibly can you. Sending you lots of love and luck for the future xxx

Oh bless you, that's how I feel too. It's hard not to get excited at a successful scan but knowing things can so quickly change takes any enjoyment out of it. I can't think of anything worse than having to entertain clients right now so I feel for you in that regard too! 😅 xx

I’m so sorry. I hope that you are ok x

Oh this is awful and just horribly unfair. There's nothing anyone can say to make it better, just know that you're not alone. Two miscarriages here, not currently pregnant but terrified of it happening again. Sending you the biggest hug.

@Lalalala77 im so so so sorry, more loss after loss is just the cruelest. Sending you a huge hug and we’re all here if you want to talk - albeit in a different space if that’s easier x

I'm so sorry @Lalalala77

@Lalalala77 Im so sorry you lost your baby. Sending you a handhold.

@Lalalala77 I am so so sorry for your loss 🤍

Morning, how is everyone doing today? xx

I have my 10 week scan today, I wish I could feel excited about it. How are you doing? Great news that your scan went well the other day!!

@Pumpkinspice13 Aw yeh thank you, it made me feel better for about 2 hours haha.

Best of luck today, I'm sending you all of the positive energy ❤What time is your scan? xx

The relief doesn’t last long unfortunately.
Thank you, my appointment is at 3pm. I’m trying to keep busy and not stress about it but I’m not doing very well at that 🙈 x

I'm no good at that either, thankfully my scan was at 8am but I know when I have later ones I'll be obsessing about it all day. Tbh I'm obsessing anyway and my private scan is a week away...

It feels like there's no escape from the stress of it all!

You've got this though 💪

@Pumpkinspice13 best of luck for today.

mines tomorrow, I’m pretty certain it’s bad news, I’ve been feeling like I’m going to MC soon. Had more brown which isn’t just watery spotting anymore - it seems to be getting thicker (sorry tmi). Cramps more prominent, some lower back pain yesterday too.
symptoms seem to be worse before I take my progesterone which makes me think it’s masking the loss and the moment I stop it will get going. also have a raging headache (plummeting hormones maybe?) and I ate like a trooper yesterday so nausea subsiding rapidly?

Im really trying to hold onto the hope that tomorrow is much more likely to be good news than bad given my scan at 8w and the odds - but I just can’t seem to look past all the bleeding and discomfort.

Got to see the midwife shortly too for my booking appointment (10w today) and I am in absolutely no mood for it, feel so hopeless.

Sorry I’m a right misery at the moment!

Bless you. Please don't ever apologise for how you're feeling.

I hope the midwife can give you some reassurance today. It's such a scary time and so many symptoms can apply to good and bad news so it's a mental health minefield!

Sending you all the luck and positive vibes. I know nothing I can say will make anything any better, but just know you're not alone and we're here if you need someone to talk to xx

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 thank you really appreciate that x

Hope you're OK @Pumpkinspice13 💕

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 Yes, everything was well at the scan. We managed to see some movement from baby. Now on to worrying about the next one. I have my 14 week scan booked with them also.

@Xwx1010 sounds like you are having a really worrying time, I hope your scan goes well tomorrow and everything is ok with baby! Bleeding is always going to be extremely stressful no matter how much reassurance you are given. It’s not always bad news and I really hope in your case it’s not!