9 months pregnant and having severe health anxiety

[AprilBaby2025]

I am 31F and 9 months pregnant. I do have severe health anxiety (and OCD) and have basically spent the last many years worried about some sort of disease or condition. But that doesn’t make me immune to cancer.

But this time, I am so scared that I can’t get out of bed, I keep walking back and forth saying “this can’t be happening” and I even peed myself from the anxiety (not the pregnancy). I get like 2 hours a night of sleep.

I have melanoma and I know it.

I did have a long stint of melanoma obsessions back in 2020. It lasted basically until 2022. I was obsessing over every mole I had. Never went to get any checked out though due to my intense fear of doctors. I have a lot of large moles and just lots of moles in general. It’s genetic - both of my parents are very moley people with lots of different looking moles.

I have about 3 moles that are 1cm. One of them is under my boob, about 2 inches below my nipple. It’s in such an odd place so I never saw it before I started my mole obsession in 2020. So I have no idea when it actually started growing!! But in 2020, most of the mole was ever so slightly raised with an off centre portion that was just slightly more raised. It was/is 2 shades of brown (which is very common for my moles). I tracked this mole and my other moles for about 1.5 years. Never noticed any changes in it (and I took thousands of pictures comparing them). I moved on to another worry and didn’t really worry about my moles much since then.

A few days ago, I was obsessed about some pregnancy related skin thing so was over analyzing my stomach all day. Then I came across the boob mole again. I noticed that one part may have looked redder (although in hindsight this was likely just the lighting). But it made me analyze that mole again and it has CHANGED! The middle part that was slightly raised became slightly more raised and the entire mole became slightly more raised and “puffier”. Then I compared it to photos I took years ago, and although the mole looks fairly similar, it’s definitely a bit more raised and there’s one part of the boarder where it looks like one skin cell has darkened if that makes sense. And the centre raised portion looks like it’s now covering just slightly more of the mole. And another part of the boarder that looks like it is now slightly indented by like 1 cell. And a couple of teeny tiny black dots on the perimeter (this may have been there before, it’s hard to tell by the pictures).

I don’t know when these changes started. I have some really bad quality photos of it from exactly 1 year ago, and I don’t think it looks really different from the photos taken in 2020. But it could have just been very very slow change. I do remember briefly looking at the mole in June but I don’t know what I discovered. I may have been worried about it for like a minute back then?. I don’t know if I saw big change then. It could have started changing before pregnancy, I don’t know!

And I am 10000000% convinced I have melanoma. I know I do. That’s literally the only explanation for this. And even if it’s not, it’s by far the most likely explanation. And I know a lot of people have seen changes in “moles” but it turned out to not even be a mole. This one is definitely a mole. And on top of that, it’s a big mole and it’s raised which means the melanoma is no longer in situ and has penetrated deeper. I don’t even know when this mole started growing! I definitely had it 5 years ago but it looked similar to how it does now back then (just a bit less raised), so it likely started growing long before then.

My husband says he never noticed anything obvious with the mole (he sees it more than I do). But when comparing photos, it is obvious. The mole is puffier and more raised. And there’s only 1 hair growing out of it, near the edge.

I am about to give birth any day now and I am not even looking forward to meeting my daughter. I am so mad I didn’t see the mole appear when it did or see a doctor about it 4 years ago. It’s advanced at this stage (definitely at least a stage 2 but likely later).

I see my GP this week. I am literally paralyzed. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t eat, I spend all day crying and having meltdowns. I don’t even want to meet my daughter. I’m worried the doctor will look at the mole and be very concerned, which will make me worried more if that’s even possible.

I’ve read scientific papers and every website you can think of. There is NO WAY this mole is not melanoma.

Help. Any reassurance? How can I possibly get through the waiting period while enjoying life? This IS melanoma I just have to try to accept it and hope it’s not too late but it probably is. I can’t believe this is happening.

Even if it is a melanoma it's pretty rare for it to be malignant.

My MIL had loads of melanomas due to having been born and brought up in a hot country. They were all dealt with by a simple surgical procedure.

You are getting it checked which is the best thing, but your level of anxiety out of proportion.

Please speak to your midwife ASAP, OP, about getting some mental health support, including medication if you’re not already on it. You have really severe health anxiety, and now is the time to deal with it, not after your baby is here.

I’m a doctor, for what it’s worth, and would agree with the other posters here that changing moles are very common in pregnancy. Of course you should get it checked out, but the chances of it being a melanoma are small, and even in that unlikely scenario, many melanomas are picked up at a treatable stage. Your analysis of your symptoms is not correct, and your use of terms like ‘advanced cancer’ is inaccurate. You’re not qualified to diagnose yourself, OP, and your mental illness is obscuring that fact from you. This can get better, but you must seek urgent help.

Never mind the mole (which is highly unlikely to be anything sinister), you desperately need mental health support. Speak to your midwife and GP urgently.

Moles commonly undergo changes in pregnancy and usually it's nothing to worry about you. You can also get hemangiomas and spider angiomas and another skin problem that one of my relatives had that was similar in appearance to an hemangioma but had a different name. It's more likely that you have a hormone related pregnancy change than cancer.

Of course you should see a doctor and get them checked out but you also need treatment for your health anxiety before it starts to ruin your child's life.

Same and same

I put this on another thread recently but my partner had 2 moles near his groin and they had tripled in size, became darker and had 3 different colours in. They were raised and not symmetrical. In the chaos of having a new baby we didn’t even notice until I compared it to an older picture. I was terrified for him, everything looked and pointed to a melanoma and even the GP admitted it was alarming and he was seen within 1 week at the hospital. Turns out they were regular moles which had growths attached to them and he had them froze off there and then.

I also had changing moles in both my pregnancies and saw the GP, it’s very normal due to hormone changes

please don’t panic but do get them checked out. Health anxiety is so scary. Congrats on your baby & good luck 🩷

OP I am sure as others have said it is likely to be due to pregnancy changes. However, I also wanted to tell you that new treatments have been developed in recent years for malignant melanoma that are very successful. So even if it is melanoma and is advanced there are now treatments which can be very successful.
Some moles are naturally raised and sometimes if they get caught or scratched they can bleed, scab and be raised but then go back to normal/disappear. I had one appear by my watch and I knew it was much darker than it had been before. GP checked it and said it was fine. It has since disappeared so I think I must have scratched it and it bled.

You need to see the GP asap, to 1) put your mind at rest and 2) get help for your anxiety. Are you on a treatment plan now?

I am sorry for offending people, I didn’t mean to. I am just really struggling :(

My husband is amazing and really supportive. He thinks I’m fine. But he’s also getting tired because this is a lot for him.

I have an appointment at my doctors office on Wednesday, but it’s with the nurse practitioner as the doctor is away for a couple of weeks. But she can still refer me.

My midwives know about my health anxiety. They referred me to a perinatal psychiatrist a couple of months ago who prescribed me Ativan to take before appointments.

I do have a therapist as well; but not a big fan so will change and find a better one.

The title said likely? Not confirmed?

Please see a doctor instead of worrying yourself to this extent. During my second pregnancy I had significant changes to my moles. Firstly loads appeared out of nowhere all over my back (they went / shrank post birth!?) but two moles I had on my upper breast grew significantly in size and became much more raised and one of them the edging of the mole became more irregular. I went to the doctor and they said mole changes in pregnancy are very common and he recommended I come back post birth to have the two bigger ones shaved off. I did just that and both were sent for testing (standard precaution) and both came back fine. Hopefully your mole changes are pregnancy related, but it's very quick and easy to have them shaved and then tested. I think I only had to wait a week post mole removal for confirmation that the tests confirmed they were harmless.

You're really well looked after at hospitals when your'e pregnant. I had a very quick heart referral, scans and saw the top heart consultant within a day when I was 8 months pregnant. Use this time to get them to look at it. You're not doing baby any favours with all this anxiety. Get it looked at.

Pregnancy changes moles.
13% of moles that are removed to exclude melanoma are cancerous. It's hard even for dermatologists to differentiate between dysplastic (abnormal looking but benign) moles and melanoma. Get them checked out, get a 2 week wait referral if your GP is concerned but don't panic yourself into a frenzy.

Have a look at this infographic about suncream as it contains stats about melanoma - mortality rates are less than you would think. https://informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/sunscreen-smokescreen-spf/

Op you have hundreds of photos of your moles on your phone due to your self confessed obsession with melenoma. I think it's likely this is your health anxiety flaring up. Even a gp cannot diagnose cancer by looking at a mole it would need to be biposied, so how youre able to self diagnose with metastatic cancer i don't know

Which is a lie.

Not long ago, I was CONVINCED I was having a heart attack or best case scenario I had a heart problem. No one could've convinced me otherwise. Went to the doctors, after a chest x-ray and a blood test showed a healthy heart, all my anxiety symptoms started disappearing. Health anxiety is debilitating, I wish I could make it disappear for you but the only way that's going to happen is when you see the doctors. When it moves onto the next thing to be concerned about, remind yourself of how it's just your brain panicking over the next thing

It just meets every single one of the ABCDE criteria :(

Not just one. But all 5.

Sorry, I didn’t read the whole of your post but bodies change a lot during pregnancy, including moles. I would definitely suggest going to your gp but I think the top priority is getting help for your health anxiety/ general anxiety. Especially with a new baby on the horizon. Good luck 💐

Then why are you on Mumsnet & not at the Doctor's then having it biopsied ?

I have not read the entire thread as I couldn’t stomach anymore but have read all your posts @AprilBaby2025
There are people here who do actually have stage 4 melanoma. I am one of them.
By all means post about health anxiety, or ask about moles but the way you have presented this is fucking awful.

And other things can cause that, like pregnancy. The abcde is not a diagnosis, it’s a get this checked out it might be it might not be. Just like the majority of breast lumps aren’t cancer.

I know you’re saying you 100000% know is melanoma, but you really don’t. I also have horrific health anxiety, I’m at the doctors a lot a have a family history of skin cancer. I recently noticed a mole on my leg had changed shape quite a bit in a month, becoming larger, more purple-y and more raised, I panicked like fuck, obviously made an appointment immediately because I was CONVINCED it was cancer. It was not. As others have said it can be a variety of reasons, I had given birth 2 months previously and it was something to do with more blood cells being present there, 100% wasn’t cancer. So although I’m not saying theres no chance it is cancer, theres also a very large chance it isn’t, don’t get yourself worked up and upset loveky 🩷

On Monday speak the to midwives and perinatal mental health and show them your OP. Your health anxiety is severe and while you're under these services is the best time to get it addressed.

If it is under your boob it wouldn't have had much contact with the sun surely?

Years ago I got a lump on my tongue. My GP was so worried about it he got an appointment with a consultant the very next day! It turned out to be totally harmless.

Please stop catastrophising as the stress hormones are not good for the baby - or you.

Moles can change. I have had moles change and they have ended up absolutely fine and it wasn’t when I’m pregnant. Have you tried the SkinVision app? Download tonight and get your DH to help, even if it keeps your mind at rest for a couple of hours. I’m a redhead and ended up on antidepressants because of my fear of melanoma. I know exactly how you feel, obsessing over them, taking photos, asking partners and my mum for reassurance since I was 15. I’m now 38. I convinced myself many times I had melanoma because my moles actually changed. They did but I was fine. Speak to a GP asap for help for your anxiety :)