9 months pregnant and having severe health anxiety

[AprilBaby2025]

I am 31F and 9 months pregnant. I do have severe health anxiety (and OCD) and have basically spent the last many years worried about some sort of disease or condition. But that doesn’t make me immune to cancer.

But this time, I am so scared that I can’t get out of bed, I keep walking back and forth saying “this can’t be happening” and I even peed myself from the anxiety (not the pregnancy). I get like 2 hours a night of sleep.

I have melanoma and I know it.

I did have a long stint of melanoma obsessions back in 2020. It lasted basically until 2022. I was obsessing over every mole I had. Never went to get any checked out though due to my intense fear of doctors. I have a lot of large moles and just lots of moles in general. It’s genetic - both of my parents are very moley people with lots of different looking moles.

I have about 3 moles that are 1cm. One of them is under my boob, about 2 inches below my nipple. It’s in such an odd place so I never saw it before I started my mole obsession in 2020. So I have no idea when it actually started growing!! But in 2020, most of the mole was ever so slightly raised with an off centre portion that was just slightly more raised. It was/is 2 shades of brown (which is very common for my moles). I tracked this mole and my other moles for about 1.5 years. Never noticed any changes in it (and I took thousands of pictures comparing them). I moved on to another worry and didn’t really worry about my moles much since then.

A few days ago, I was obsessed about some pregnancy related skin thing so was over analyzing my stomach all day. Then I came across the boob mole again. I noticed that one part may have looked redder (although in hindsight this was likely just the lighting). But it made me analyze that mole again and it has CHANGED! The middle part that was slightly raised became slightly more raised and the entire mole became slightly more raised and “puffier”. Then I compared it to photos I took years ago, and although the mole looks fairly similar, it’s definitely a bit more raised and there’s one part of the boarder where it looks like one skin cell has darkened if that makes sense. And the centre raised portion looks like it’s now covering just slightly more of the mole. And another part of the boarder that looks like it is now slightly indented by like 1 cell. And a couple of teeny tiny black dots on the perimeter (this may have been there before, it’s hard to tell by the pictures).

I don’t know when these changes started. I have some really bad quality photos of it from exactly 1 year ago, and I don’t think it looks really different from the photos taken in 2020. But it could have just been very very slow change. I do remember briefly looking at the mole in June but I don’t know what I discovered. I may have been worried about it for like a minute back then?. I don’t know if I saw big change then. It could have started changing before pregnancy, I don’t know!

And I am 10000000% convinced I have melanoma. I know I do. That’s literally the only explanation for this. And even if it’s not, it’s by far the most likely explanation. And I know a lot of people have seen changes in “moles” but it turned out to not even be a mole. This one is definitely a mole. And on top of that, it’s a big mole and it’s raised which means the melanoma is no longer in situ and has penetrated deeper. I don’t even know when this mole started growing! I definitely had it 5 years ago but it looked similar to how it does now back then (just a bit less raised), so it likely started growing long before then.

My husband says he never noticed anything obvious with the mole (he sees it more than I do). But when comparing photos, it is obvious. The mole is puffier and more raised. And there’s only 1 hair growing out of it, near the edge.

I am about to give birth any day now and I am not even looking forward to meeting my daughter. I am so mad I didn’t see the mole appear when it did or see a doctor about it 4 years ago. It’s advanced at this stage (definitely at least a stage 2 but likely later).

I see my GP this week. I am literally paralyzed. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t eat, I spend all day crying and having meltdowns. I don’t even want to meet my daughter. I’m worried the doctor will look at the mole and be very concerned, which will make me worried more if that’s even possible.

I’ve read scientific papers and every website you can think of. There is NO WAY this mole is not melanoma.

Help. Any reassurance? How can I possibly get through the waiting period while enjoying life? This IS melanoma I just have to try to accept it and hope it’s not too late but it probably is. I can’t believe this is happening.

Get the moles checked and please show your ocd specialist your post. For me the OCD and anxiety is a much more pressing concern.

I am a very moley person and had my miles mapped a few months ago. The doctor told me it’s extremely unlikely to have a melanoma on a mole that isn’t exposed to the sun. He said people that work outdoors are more at risk of skin cancer in places that are exposed like their face, legs, arms in the summer. As this mole is under your boob it’s highly unlikely this is melanoma. Please seek help for your anxiety it it’s no way to live

You’re very unwell with your OCD. You need to speak to your HV or GP urgently. You’re peeing yourself with fear and not eating .

everyone -stop engaging about the moles- this is just feeding the anxiety.

Do you think you’re projecting your anxiety about giving birth and becoming a mum onto this issue with the mole? Have you highlighted this level of anxiety to your midwife?

OP it is very common to have benign changes in moles during pregnancy. About 10% of women experience changes in the appearance of moles while they are pregnant.

Can I suggest you contact your midwifery team today as this is causing you so much stress and anxiety? You need some support for your anxiety.

I'm a nurse.

It's worth getting checked out, but evolving/growing upwards isn't a red flag. Moles sometimes grow, it doesn't mean they are cancerous. Mole changes are a recognised pregnancy symptom.

You've said the colour is like your other moles, apart from some specky bits. That's reassuring too.

Melanoma is also not advanced cancer!

You need to seek medical support urgently, for your health anxiety. Like on Monday morning.

@CRbear, I think you mean some women have increased melanin, not melanoma, in pregnancy.

I am sorry OP, you sound really distressed and you must feel awful about everything

Book a GP appointment as soon as you can to get the mole checked and also ask for a referral for support for your health anxiety ♥️

You are not a health professional and you are speaking in absolutes you are not qualified to assess. You must wait to speak to your gp and let them do the necessary checks.
What treatment have you had for your ocd and health anxiety? I think it’s important that as well as asking your gp for support in checking your skin you talk to them and your health visitor (once allocated) openly about your mental health and how much your anxieties are consuming you and impacting your behaviour. It will be especially important post-partum that people are keeping an eye on you.

This is your health anxiety. It is most likely not melanoma. Even if it is, it's probably totally treatable. I had melanoma, had it removed, am now totally fine several years later.

See the GP for reassurance. But also, urgently seek more help and treatment for your health anxiety. Health anxiety can ruin lives more surely than most physical illnesses.

Another very mole-y person who had random changes during pregnancy. I’ve also had a couple checked out and all fine. If in doubt please see your GP, but you can’t at this stage say you have likely advanced cancer when you haven’t seen a doctor.

I really hope you're going to get help fairly quickly so you're not like this with your baby too, you know you're overreacting

I can sense the health anxiety from your post. Poor you. This is actually very common in pregnancy. I had two checked over my pregnant years and they were both fine despite changing. Also you will have had several bloods done during pregnancy and I'm assuming they were healthy? That should also reassure you some. Good luck with your pregnancy 😘

If you are in the UK you can phone 111 and ask for mental health services. There should be perinatal mental health services available to support you. You clearly need mental health support. Please reach out for it

Op I am also covered in moles, big, raised uneven moles.

im the opposite from (I don’t mean to be rude) but I never get them checked these days cause quite frankly they poke and prod and then it’s never anything. I’ve had moles that are itchy sore and bleed, nothing. I have uneven in colour and shape, nothing. Rapidly appearing and growing, nothing.

im not saying yours isn’t cancer but nothing you’ve said mean it is either. You’ve been reminded me I haven’t checked the ones I can’t see for years so I’ll do that now.

make a gp appointment.

OP, pregnancy changes things including perfectly ordinary moles.

Meanwhile you are making yourself actually ill (not sleeping etc) over something that you have no evidence is an illness.

Please tell your midwife that you are suffering like this. You need MH support if this is affecting your feelings about your baby. You need support.

Moles can and do change without necessarily being cancer. You have absolutely no way of diagnosing yourself, so please stop, for your own sake and the baby's. Get it checked out asap.
Can I gently suggest that you should maybe get help for your health anxiety? This will ruin motherhood for you and may cause psychological harm to your child.
I wish you the very best with everything.
Life is hard enough, don't borrow trouble.

Hey OP, I'm really sorry you're going through this stress. I do find it reassuring that you thought to go into detail on your OCD and health anxiety, as it suggests you know this is relevant, and therefore that it's playing a big part in how you're feeling. I imagine you know deep down that your obsession isn't a past issue, and I really hope you do seek support for it since it sounds like you could really benefit. For your baby's sake but also your own, please look after yourself. Xx

You 10000000% have health anxiety that’s for sure! Have you noticed the swelling in your body, particularly in the torso area? You’re 9 months pregnant - of course things are different.

I actually do have advanced cancer with less than a year left. Posts like yours feel really hurtful - why would you wish cancer on yourself. Get yourself some help before you start letting your DC think this is normal.

Came here to say this too. I had post partum and health anxiety aswell, looking back all the signs this would be an issue were there in pregnancy, I just didn't make the connection. Spiralled for a while after DD born but CBT really helped me so much x

Having lived in Australia I'm inclined to agree with you it may be cancer BUT I wouldn't say it's "advanced" because melanoma is a specific type of cancer which A) can be removed & treated B) is already the worst type of skin cancer you can get (surgery required) the "stages" aspect don't really count unless it's spread

What you should do right now though Is book an appointment ASAP & if you can afford it pay privately for a full body scan including your head (after the birth of necessary) as my grandfather died from brain cancer that wasn't picked up on the initial "full body" scan (scanned to the neck) but was directly linked to a melanoma he had removed from his leg

As for other posters saying it might.be nothing - that may be the case but as long as you know for sure.

My sister had a mole on her stomach that had changed shape and she panicked and went to the doctor and it turns out that it had just changed purely due to weight gain.

A much more likely explanation than cancer is that the mole has changed shape etc because your boobs have during pregnancy.

Try not to panic and go and get help for your health anxiety and get the mole checked too. Health anxiety will rob you of so much joy in life, be kind to yourself

Oh, OP, pregnancy can be a time when health anxiety becomes completely overwhelming. There is real support available you from your local perinatal mental health team, who be kind and help you through this - both now and when your baby is here. Please ask your GP to refer you, and you can also call NHS 111, option 2, today (anytime) to chat with the mental health team, as it seems you may having a very difficult time. I know you may find this impossible to accept, but this is your health anxiety and it is not cancer.