9 months pregnant and having severe health anxiety

[AprilBaby2025]

I am 31F and 9 months pregnant. I do have severe health anxiety (and OCD) and have basically spent the last many years worried about some sort of disease or condition. But that doesn’t make me immune to cancer.

But this time, I am so scared that I can’t get out of bed, I keep walking back and forth saying “this can’t be happening” and I even peed myself from the anxiety (not the pregnancy). I get like 2 hours a night of sleep.

I have melanoma and I know it.

I did have a long stint of melanoma obsessions back in 2020. It lasted basically until 2022. I was obsessing over every mole I had. Never went to get any checked out though due to my intense fear of doctors. I have a lot of large moles and just lots of moles in general. It’s genetic - both of my parents are very moley people with lots of different looking moles.

I have about 3 moles that are 1cm. One of them is under my boob, about 2 inches below my nipple. It’s in such an odd place so I never saw it before I started my mole obsession in 2020. So I have no idea when it actually started growing!! But in 2020, most of the mole was ever so slightly raised with an off centre portion that was just slightly more raised. It was/is 2 shades of brown (which is very common for my moles). I tracked this mole and my other moles for about 1.5 years. Never noticed any changes in it (and I took thousands of pictures comparing them). I moved on to another worry and didn’t really worry about my moles much since then.

A few days ago, I was obsessed about some pregnancy related skin thing so was over analyzing my stomach all day. Then I came across the boob mole again. I noticed that one part may have looked redder (although in hindsight this was likely just the lighting). But it made me analyze that mole again and it has CHANGED! The middle part that was slightly raised became slightly more raised and the entire mole became slightly more raised and “puffier”. Then I compared it to photos I took years ago, and although the mole looks fairly similar, it’s definitely a bit more raised and there’s one part of the boarder where it looks like one skin cell has darkened if that makes sense. And the centre raised portion looks like it’s now covering just slightly more of the mole. And another part of the boarder that looks like it is now slightly indented by like 1 cell. And a couple of teeny tiny black dots on the perimeter (this may have been there before, it’s hard to tell by the pictures).

I don’t know when these changes started. I have some really bad quality photos of it from exactly 1 year ago, and I don’t think it looks really different from the photos taken in 2020. But it could have just been very very slow change. I do remember briefly looking at the mole in June but I don’t know what I discovered. I may have been worried about it for like a minute back then?. I don’t know if I saw big change then. It could have started changing before pregnancy, I don’t know!

And I am 10000000% convinced I have melanoma. I know I do. That’s literally the only explanation for this. And even if it’s not, it’s by far the most likely explanation. And I know a lot of people have seen changes in “moles” but it turned out to not even be a mole. This one is definitely a mole. And on top of that, it’s a big mole and it’s raised which means the melanoma is no longer in situ and has penetrated deeper. I don’t even know when this mole started growing! I definitely had it 5 years ago but it looked similar to how it does now back then (just a bit less raised), so it likely started growing long before then.

My husband says he never noticed anything obvious with the mole (he sees it more than I do). But when comparing photos, it is obvious. The mole is puffier and more raised. And there’s only 1 hair growing out of it, near the edge.

I am about to give birth any day now and I am not even looking forward to meeting my daughter. I am so mad I didn’t see the mole appear when it did or see a doctor about it 4 years ago. It’s advanced at this stage (definitely at least a stage 2 but likely later).

I see my GP this week. I am literally paralyzed. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t eat, I spend all day crying and having meltdowns. I don’t even want to meet my daughter. I’m worried the doctor will look at the mole and be very concerned, which will make me worried more if that’s even possible.

I’ve read scientific papers and every website you can think of. There is NO WAY this mole is not melanoma.

Help. Any reassurance? How can I possibly get through the waiting period while enjoying life? This IS melanoma I just have to try to accept it and hope it’s not too late but it probably is. I can’t believe this is happening.

You don’t know it’s melanoma at all. You haven’t had the moles checked. That is something that you MUST do. I know it seems scary, but I recently had to have gynae investigations and I convinced myself I had a cancer of some sort down there, but following extensive investigations there is NO cancer thankfully.

You are working yourself up unnecessarily and that can’t be good for you with your baby due any time. Please don’t spoil what will be such a special time for you and your husband.

Go to the GP and get a referral to have the moles checked.

💐

Hi, no one on here can give you useful reassurance as we don’t know you, your mole, or your health anxiety. But all my skin did weird things in pregnancy even the moles. Now I’m in menopause however many years later my skin (including the moles) is all gone like is was in pregnancy again. More hormonal weirdness.

I had a mole that changed significantly. Variations in colour, ragged edges, more raised. Lots of red flags. Got referred to dermatology on the 2 week wait. They cut it out. It was benign. But very glad I got it checked out. Stop catastrophising and actually see a doctor.

A bunch of my moles changed in pregnancy - I saw the GP (which you must do!) and confirmed they weren’t of concern. She explained that some women get increased melanoma in pregnancy which does make moles change. Mine got bigger.

Have you told your midwife how anxious you are feeling? Pregnancy hormones can make us feel really anxious, but there is lots of support available.

Personally it seems unlikely to me to get a melanoma in a place that doesn’t often see the sun, but I’m not sure how helpful my reassurance will be. I do think you should be looking to treat the anxiety.

The extra growth hormones you have in your body during pregnancy can cause all sorts of changes to your skin. I developed several scabby raised lumps that turned out to be nothing including on a mole. All checked by a doctor and I was told that it is due to the growth hormones. I am also completely covered in moles. So, yes, it is always good to get any changes checked out but it is not necessarily cancer, it could be pregnancy related. Don't panic until you have seen a doctor and actually need to.

Moles commonly grow/change in pregnancy - I had a few I got checked in pregnancy and was all fine so try to not panic - much more likely due to pregnancy than cancer!

Get the moles checked out and AS IMPORTANTLY treat your anxiety.

You don't need to live like this especially with a new baby on its way

This OP, it’s actually really normal.

Kindly OP this is your anxiety, you don’t “know” anything, if we could all diagnose ourselves with cancer the NHS wait lists would be a lot shorter. Speak to your GP

The pregnancy hormones probably affected your moles..

I have a large one on my hip, and 3 pregnancies all caused it to go itchy, swollen and bleed and once I gave birth it calmed down back to normal.

I'm 15 years down the line now so clearly not cancerous.

You need to discuss your health anxiety with your GP.

What’s the treatment plan for your health anxiety/OCD? It sounds like that should be the priority at this point.

Pregnancy hormones can cause moles to grow or appear. Like during puberty. Go and get it checked out, but it is absolutely possible or even probable that it’s a benign mole that has just changed or grown during your pregnancy.

Go to the GP. You are catastrophising without good cause, this is your anxiety talking!
Obviously you should get it checked, but given you are heavily pregnant and it is on your boob I wouldn't be surprised if any visual changes are due to that.

Loads of weird changes happen when you're pregnant. I've also got a large mole on my breast as you've described and it's also changed in past years while I've had 2 kids and all the hormone changes that entails. I don't really expect you to hear this though as it sounds like you're past the point. You should see a doctor about both the mole and your health anxiety.

Speak to your midwife or GP. Your obsession with this is going to massively impact your relationship with your baby, you absolutely need professional help now.

You literally do not know anything.
Wait for your appointment
Look at best case that it s pregnancy changes

Worst case you are checking it out and will get treated

I’ve got loads of raised moles but the one my dermatologist recommended having ‘whopped off’ didn’t look at all unusual to me. It wasn’t cancerous but dermatologist said it had potential to become cancerous so I took her advise and had it removed. My boyfriend has 2 very large moles, both checked out, both fine.

Please try to see a dermatologist for expert advice. It will be better than living with this anxiety.

The most important thing to do is get it checked out because at this point, you don't know anything.

You also really need to talk to someone about your health anxiety.

I had a mole that changed to darker and much more raised. I had an appointment at the hospital and they said it didn't look worrying at all. It turned out a few weeks later that there was just a large blocked pore type thing under it

You really don't know it's melanoma at all x

Please just see someone about your anxiety and tell your midwife etc about your worries. I had post partum anxiety and it really wasn't fun. I didn't know I had it. You are getting a massive warning sign here. Please do get some help with it x

Gosh OP, I understand you are very worried. No-one here can tell you that it is or isn't a melanoma. It is important that you see your GP next week. When you were (in your words) obsessed with your moles and potential melanoma in the past, can you recall now why you DIDN'T seek medical advice? If you are feeling all of the worry then can you help rationalise to yourself that actually knowing and being on a treatment path couldn't be worse than the catastrophising you are putting yourself through?

I am sure the pregnancy hormones and entirely natural worries about birth and becoming a parent are also at play here. Please do share this with your GP and midwife when you next see them.

The mole could turn out to be nothing and instead it is your anxiety that is diminishing your ability to live your life and embrace becoming a parent. If there is something to be concerned about with the mole then worrying about it really isn't going to change anything.

I wish you all the best.

Agree, you have to go and get the moles checked. Nipples get darker with pregnancy, breasts enlarge,so would a mole on one. I had what I thought was a mole on my left forearm. Dark Goldy brown,raised, suddenly got bigger,then crusted over, with a weird white grey top like a miniature cauliflower. I've had skin cancer on my back,so am aware of changes (blue eyed blond,late DF had skin cancer. I made a private appointment with a dermatology consultant, not for this. I showed my GP a flat red spot on my chest,a couple of years ago,he said it was just a spot. Last year,it changed,had red and white parts,got bigger, then it started itching, I knew.i had it excised last February. Asked her to look at the weird mole. It turned out to be a wart,was removed with liquid nitrogen, not even a mark now.

Have you been consuming media about Katherine Ryan / Teddi Mellencamp by any chance? Good to be vigilant, but not at the detriment of one of the most important times of your life, with newborn. Can’t get those days back.
If you do have advanced cancer, even more important to be focussed on tiny new newborn baby and soak it all in, think of it that way.

You absolutely really must get help for your health anxiety. In my experience it gets much worse once you have a young baby, so you really must prioritise getting it sorted. It’s not healthy for you to live like this, and there really is no need. It’s just sad, and you don’t want your child to be affected by it.

I never had health anxiety but I did once I had a baby. Convinced I had cancer. It’s all the hormones.

Please get some help.

Of course get yourself checked to aid putting your mind at ease. Some pharmacies offer a mole check if you don’t want to see a GP.

CRbear,you get increased Melasma, during pregnancy NOT increased Melanoma!!