9 months pregnant and having severe health anxiety

[AprilBaby2025]

I am 31F and 9 months pregnant. I do have severe health anxiety (and OCD) and have basically spent the last many years worried about some sort of disease or condition. But that doesn’t make me immune to cancer.

But this time, I am so scared that I can’t get out of bed, I keep walking back and forth saying “this can’t be happening” and I even peed myself from the anxiety (not the pregnancy). I get like 2 hours a night of sleep.

I have melanoma and I know it.

I did have a long stint of melanoma obsessions back in 2020. It lasted basically until 2022. I was obsessing over every mole I had. Never went to get any checked out though due to my intense fear of doctors. I have a lot of large moles and just lots of moles in general. It’s genetic - both of my parents are very moley people with lots of different looking moles.

I have about 3 moles that are 1cm. One of them is under my boob, about 2 inches below my nipple. It’s in such an odd place so I never saw it before I started my mole obsession in 2020. So I have no idea when it actually started growing!! But in 2020, most of the mole was ever so slightly raised with an off centre portion that was just slightly more raised. It was/is 2 shades of brown (which is very common for my moles). I tracked this mole and my other moles for about 1.5 years. Never noticed any changes in it (and I took thousands of pictures comparing them). I moved on to another worry and didn’t really worry about my moles much since then.

A few days ago, I was obsessed about some pregnancy related skin thing so was over analyzing my stomach all day. Then I came across the boob mole again. I noticed that one part may have looked redder (although in hindsight this was likely just the lighting). But it made me analyze that mole again and it has CHANGED! The middle part that was slightly raised became slightly more raised and the entire mole became slightly more raised and “puffier”. Then I compared it to photos I took years ago, and although the mole looks fairly similar, it’s definitely a bit more raised and there’s one part of the boarder where it looks like one skin cell has darkened if that makes sense. And the centre raised portion looks like it’s now covering just slightly more of the mole. And another part of the boarder that looks like it is now slightly indented by like 1 cell. And a couple of teeny tiny black dots on the perimeter (this may have been there before, it’s hard to tell by the pictures).

I don’t know when these changes started. I have some really bad quality photos of it from exactly 1 year ago, and I don’t think it looks really different from the photos taken in 2020. But it could have just been very very slow change. I do remember briefly looking at the mole in June but I don’t know what I discovered. I may have been worried about it for like a minute back then?. I don’t know if I saw big change then. It could have started changing before pregnancy, I don’t know!

And I am 10000000% convinced I have melanoma. I know I do. That’s literally the only explanation for this. And even if it’s not, it’s by far the most likely explanation. And I know a lot of people have seen changes in “moles” but it turned out to not even be a mole. This one is definitely a mole. And on top of that, it’s a big mole and it’s raised which means the melanoma is no longer in situ and has penetrated deeper. I don’t even know when this mole started growing! I definitely had it 5 years ago but it looked similar to how it does now back then (just a bit less raised), so it likely started growing long before then.

My husband says he never noticed anything obvious with the mole (he sees it more than I do). But when comparing photos, it is obvious. The mole is puffier and more raised. And there’s only 1 hair growing out of it, near the edge.

I am about to give birth any day now and I am not even looking forward to meeting my daughter. I am so mad I didn’t see the mole appear when it did or see a doctor about it 4 years ago. It’s advanced at this stage (definitely at least a stage 2 but likely later).

I see my GP this week. I am literally paralyzed. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t eat, I spend all day crying and having meltdowns. I don’t even want to meet my daughter. I’m worried the doctor will look at the mole and be very concerned, which will make me worried more if that’s even possible.

I’ve read scientific papers and every website you can think of. There is NO WAY this mole is not melanoma.

Help. Any reassurance? How can I possibly get through the waiting period while enjoying life? This IS melanoma I just have to try to accept it and hope it’s not too late but it probably is. I can’t believe this is happening.

As someone who has had cancer, I have learnt to rationalise my bad thoughts. I would make an appointment to get checked out (maybe a pharmacist as others have mentioned) and when this is booked, you can’t do anything about it until you are seen.
I am worried that you are so anxious and I don’t mean my comments to be flippant in any way at all, but you need a plan and then take a breath. You don’t know that you have cancer at all, so please be kind to yourself whilst you sort out a plan.

You have NOT got 'likely advanced cancer '. You haven't. I know advanced cancer and that isn't it.

You HAVE got severe anxiety which urgently needs treatment. I wasted my entire maternity leave with my DC consumed by anxiety, and I bitterly regret it and can never get that time back. Don't be me.

Hi OP, as someone who suffered terribly from health anxiety I can almost categorically say you don’t have melanoma.

However my thoughts are not going to help, the rational bit of your brain will say “it’s fine”. but the irrational bit will override that.

Have a look at the website No More Panic as they have a really good health anxiety forum.

I no longer suffer with it but god it used to be awful and funnily enough peaked in pregnancy and post birth. Please get advice and help as anxiety is horrible.

Are you under the perinatal mental health team OP? It sounds like it could be helpful and your midwife or GP can refer you. Anxiety and OCD can worsen in pregnancy and impact your bond with baby and that may be what’s happening here. It’s also worth getting the moles seen to by the GP, but with health anxiety it may be hard to feel reassured. There are lots of things that can help from the GP or mental health team.

Some of my moles changed significantly in pregnancy, none were cancerous. I hope you can see a doctor quickly so they can put your mind at ease and you can look forward to meeting your baby.

Pregnancy changed my moles too. One even went scabby and bled (this was on my stomach, it got stretched as my body stretched).

When I was worried about this I made an appointment to see doctor. I didn't see my own GP as there is a partner who is from a hot Commonwealth country with a large white population so he has seen lots of skin cancer.

He looked at mine and clearly wasn't happy with it and referred me to the hospital where it was removed. It wasn't cancer. If that doctor can't tell for sure by looking at it I don't think you can.

It could be nothing and getting it checked will be such a relief (I know that feeling) or it could be melanoma and you get it treated. Someone I worked with over 30 years had melanoma, it was quite advanced and it wasn't just removed but alot of flesh round it. She recently retired fit and healthy.

Good luck and see a doctor.

Has the article about Katherine Ryan set this off? 🤔

OP, you really need support for your mental health. Make this a priority. I have OCD, and it ruined my pregnancy. Make sure the GP refers you to perinatal services.

Obviously get your mole checked, but you need to stop body scanning and googling symptoms. This feeds health anxiety and you will never be free unless you stop. Pick a distraction that requires full attention, and every single time you want to check your body/Google, do the activity instead.

The function of googling and body scanning is to try and regain control. OCD (and your linked health anxiety) is all about control. To help your OCD, you have to learn yo feel comfortable sitting with the unknown. The unknown is anxiety provoking for most people, but moreso for anyone with OCD. Reassurance seeking behaviours like googling help us in the moment, but it is only in the moment, because the reality is there are lots of things we can never control, then we just end up doing it more and more.

As a side note, pregnancy hormones sent my OCD absolutely haywire. I spent 9 months chronically anxious (and obsessively googling, so I'm speaking from experience!) about things like stillbirth and cot death. As soon as my baby was out, I was fine. I obviously still have OCD, but it doesn't rule my life like it did through pregnancy.

In sorry you are feeling like this, this may have been said, but moles can change during pregnancy. I have one on my nose that became darker and more pronounced. Saw the GP, they said it was just pregnancy.

@AprilBaby2025 you need to stop catastrophising.
Please get some help, this isn’t normal.
And stop reading scientific papers that you don’t understand.

Go and see your GP to get checked out but you sound like you’re massively overreacting and need to be calmer.
Pregnancy can cause blemishes to change and grow (this happened to daughter) and my husband had a large mole removed from his back which ticked every skin cancer box and when tested it was normal.

Sweeetheart, you need therapy. I mean, obviously, see your GP and get checked out, but your responses are way off the scale. This is much more immediately concerning, given how it is making you feel about your new baby. Please ask for an urgent mental health referral as well as the cancer tests.

I feel so sad for you. Not because you have melanoma, because you don’t, but I know how how OCD can destroy your life.

if you’re not already, please try an SSRI and if the first one doesn’t work for you, try another one. You don’t have to live with this horrendous condition. X

I have a lot of moles. One on my arm was raised, raggy and very angry looking. I even posted a picture of it here (under another name). I went to the doctor who wasn't sure what it was and put me on the two week pathway.

I was beside myself with worry.

I went to the consultant who told me it was a badly infected blackhead. He tried to get it out there and then by pushing it but was only partially successful and told me to keep trying after a shower or bath.

Four weeks later, the root of it came out...very satisfying!

But I thought it was advanced cancer, my friends and DH thought something wasn't right, the doctor wasn't sure but that's all it was.

I jumped to the worst conclusion-was on the internet convincing myself I was about to die, hid away, wasted my life. Please think of the less vicious things it could be because there are more reasons for a mole to look frightening than stage 4 cancer.
Thinking of you.

I just had a melanoma scare, so I do understand your worry. Moles do change in pregnancy though.
Your GP should look at it through a dermatascope and refer you to dermatology if they think it needs to be checked. The dermatologist will do the same and remove it for biopsy if necessary.
The threshold is low for both these things so at no point does it mean they think you have cancer, it’s just the ONLY way to rule it out is biopsy and pathology.
You have to consider that none of this will happen before baby is born, so the more important thing here is to get some help for your anxiety or it might stop you being able to bond with your baby when they arrive. 😢

Honestly your post reads exactly like mine when I'm in the midst of an anxiety crisis, of which I had many while pregnant. You have read so much about it you are convinced that it can't possibly be anything else, but this is definitely just your anxiety talking.

Step away from Google, practice a lot of self care until you see your GP who will be able to reassure you.

It's the absolute pits I know, and it seems SO real. The best thing you can do is seek help for your anxiety, as it could ramp up even further once baby is here.

Please take care of yourself.

My moles changed during pregnancy and I got them checked out by the GP. I had perinatal anxiety and had a lot of things checked out. She referred me to the perinatal mental health unit, didn't dismiss any of my concerns, listened to everything. She assessed the moles and they were fine. She said the changes were very normal in pregnancy. Please see your GP about your health anxiety as well as the moles. You want to avoid being hyper anxious about your daughter when she makes an appearance, or at least learn some coping mechanisms.

I think there should be a trigger warning on the thread honestly.

Oh OP I am so sorry you are so terrified. I suffer from health anxiety too and I understand how crippling this fear can be. Here is my take on things:

1. Pregnancy often causes skin changes, and getting more moles or moles changing shape can actually just be hormone related and nothing to worry about. I for example suddenly had many miniscule moles from my first pregnancy onward. 🤷🏻‍♀️Where I am from we literally call them “mother-spots”

2. See your doctor so they can help you through whatever it is, worst case scenario to best case scenario

3. if the doctor or dermatologist you might be referred to tells you there is no need to worry, accept this and

4. arrange some good professional mental health support and therapy for your anxiety disorder and ocd. Children get sick a lot, sometimes even very sick and you need to learn to cope with these feelings because it is no way to live if you let yourself spiral like this over everything.

I am not trying to sound harsh cause i can really really sympathize but from one anxiety sufferer to another; you are out of control for being SO convinced without even actually seeing a doctor about it.

I have a mole that sounds just like this. I noticed it was more raised and puffy feeling, the doctor looked at it and its all fine.
Your title is very misleading and I think you should talk to your midwife about this anxiety

I had some weird looking new moles around my boobs after a recent pregnancy. The GP says they’re nothing to worry about and not even real moles. They’re caused by pregnancy hormones. Get yours checked and enjoy your baby!

As someone who suffers from health anxiety I know so well how you are feeling. Especially being pregnant - the fear gets so much worse when you know you have a little person to look after! The only advice I can offer (something I recently realised with my health anxiety) is that you are wasting the life you are currently living, what is the point in being so scared of death that you forget to live? it’s a horrible horrible form of anxiety and takes a lot of work to get these thoughts out of your mind (I still haven’t fully!) This is easy for me to say after a lot of soul searching… and therapy!! So yes, like everyone says, please get some help for this ❤️

for reassurance - loads of my moles changed during my pregnancy, grew/changed colour, I had them checked and they were fine. My mum, after thirty years of baking in the sun and using sunbeds had a mole on her chest that grew outwards and went purple, irregular borders etc, we were convinced it was melanoma… it wasn’t. Of course, get it checked, and the worst case and rarest scenario is that it is melanoma, but the best and more likely scenario is that it won’t be.

you are not alone I promise you! Good luck with your pregnancy xxx

This is 100% health anxiety - nothing about this says 'advanced cancer' everything says anxiety talking. I really feel for you, obviously you are feeling terrified, please get anxiety help ASAP.

I find it hysterical you know it’s melanoma when my dh was stage 4 with no idea.

If only he’d known it was cancer hey?