9 months pregnant and having severe health anxiety

[AprilBaby2025]

I am 31F and 9 months pregnant. I do have severe health anxiety (and OCD) and have basically spent the last many years worried about some sort of disease or condition. But that doesn’t make me immune to cancer.

But this time, I am so scared that I can’t get out of bed, I keep walking back and forth saying “this can’t be happening” and I even peed myself from the anxiety (not the pregnancy). I get like 2 hours a night of sleep.

I have melanoma and I know it.

I did have a long stint of melanoma obsessions back in 2020. It lasted basically until 2022. I was obsessing over every mole I had. Never went to get any checked out though due to my intense fear of doctors. I have a lot of large moles and just lots of moles in general. It’s genetic - both of my parents are very moley people with lots of different looking moles.

I have about 3 moles that are 1cm. One of them is under my boob, about 2 inches below my nipple. It’s in such an odd place so I never saw it before I started my mole obsession in 2020. So I have no idea when it actually started growing!! But in 2020, most of the mole was ever so slightly raised with an off centre portion that was just slightly more raised. It was/is 2 shades of brown (which is very common for my moles). I tracked this mole and my other moles for about 1.5 years. Never noticed any changes in it (and I took thousands of pictures comparing them). I moved on to another worry and didn’t really worry about my moles much since then.

A few days ago, I was obsessed about some pregnancy related skin thing so was over analyzing my stomach all day. Then I came across the boob mole again. I noticed that one part may have looked redder (although in hindsight this was likely just the lighting). But it made me analyze that mole again and it has CHANGED! The middle part that was slightly raised became slightly more raised and the entire mole became slightly more raised and “puffier”. Then I compared it to photos I took years ago, and although the mole looks fairly similar, it’s definitely a bit more raised and there’s one part of the boarder where it looks like one skin cell has darkened if that makes sense. And the centre raised portion looks like it’s now covering just slightly more of the mole. And another part of the boarder that looks like it is now slightly indented by like 1 cell. And a couple of teeny tiny black dots on the perimeter (this may have been there before, it’s hard to tell by the pictures).

I don’t know when these changes started. I have some really bad quality photos of it from exactly 1 year ago, and I don’t think it looks really different from the photos taken in 2020. But it could have just been very very slow change. I do remember briefly looking at the mole in June but I don’t know what I discovered. I may have been worried about it for like a minute back then?. I don’t know if I saw big change then. It could have started changing before pregnancy, I don’t know!

And I am 10000000% convinced I have melanoma. I know I do. That’s literally the only explanation for this. And even if it’s not, it’s by far the most likely explanation. And I know a lot of people have seen changes in “moles” but it turned out to not even be a mole. This one is definitely a mole. And on top of that, it’s a big mole and it’s raised which means the melanoma is no longer in situ and has penetrated deeper. I don’t even know when this mole started growing! I definitely had it 5 years ago but it looked similar to how it does now back then (just a bit less raised), so it likely started growing long before then.

My husband says he never noticed anything obvious with the mole (he sees it more than I do). But when comparing photos, it is obvious. The mole is puffier and more raised. And there’s only 1 hair growing out of it, near the edge.

I am about to give birth any day now and I am not even looking forward to meeting my daughter. I am so mad I didn’t see the mole appear when it did or see a doctor about it 4 years ago. It’s advanced at this stage (definitely at least a stage 2 but likely later).

I see my GP this week. I am literally paralyzed. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t eat, I spend all day crying and having meltdowns. I don’t even want to meet my daughter. I’m worried the doctor will look at the mole and be very concerned, which will make me worried more if that’s even possible.

I’ve read scientific papers and every website you can think of. There is NO WAY this mole is not melanoma.

Help. Any reassurance? How can I possibly get through the waiting period while enjoying life? This IS melanoma I just have to try to accept it and hope it’s not too late but it probably is. I can’t believe this is happening.

You really need to get some therapy as your anxiety is going to rub off on your baby

You have increased blood flow in pregnancy. This can make some moles and most skin tags bigger. You do not have any evidence of cancer and you need to do something about your health anxiety because you are being completely insane.

She has OCD. A recognised crippling mental health condition. It is not her “being insane” anymore than an autistic person stimming is them being insane.

Why have you left it so late in your pregnancy to get a grip on your health anxiety? This should have been a priority for you. I don't really understand why, as you have health anxiety, you don't prioritise this? Why prioritise worrying about things that are extremely unlikely to occur instead of something that is actually happening like your anxiety

OP - I haven’t read all the responses back to you yet so I apologise if I am repeating what others have said. You need to 1) see a GP and 2) read in to health OCD, and speak to a professional (mental health nurse or GP) regarding treatment for your health anxiety, for the sake of yourself and your child. A fluoxotene trial would likely be v beneficial for you and so would professional therapy.

OP you need immediate help for your mental distress. Call your midwife asap and explain how you are feeling. I don’t want to add to
your catastrophism but pregnancy and postpartum psychosis are very real and huge risk (bigger than cancer) if you don’t get your anxiety under control. My arm chair diagnosis is that you have transferred your anxiety about the baby onto this mole as it is easier to contain.

In terms of the mole: book a gp
appointment on Monday, I saw a go
for a similar mole about a week ago and have been gas tracked to dermatologist in 2 week plan. I’m not saying yours is nothing - I’m not saying mine is either - but I am not crippled by anxiety about it, because the reality is it could be something or nothing and I will only know when I see a dermatologist. If you didn’t get referred a private derm is about £200 for a mole check.

The most pressing emergency now is your mental state. please seek help.

I just want to say - moles can and do change during pregnancy! Think of all the changes that are normal when it comes to pigmentation during pregnancy.

I do not have health anxiety and I ended up mid-late pregnancy going to GP just asking them to check all the things I'd noticed in case.

You know that line from tummy button down that's common? Knew about that, didn't know it could happen around your nipples and down the centre of the bottom of your boob too! Moles got darker (super common as pigmentation increases in general).

GP was only too happy to check as they were all changes, but were all normal. What's not normal is how distressed and certain you are.

It’s quite normal for your moles to change in pregnancy. I don’t like your clickbait thread title.

Don't be silly.

Yes, I understand that she likely does not have cancer. I was replying to someone that was talking about the title of the thread which certainly implies that she has cancer because most people would not say that they have cancer unless they actually knew for a fact that they did.

Hi OP,

You need to ask for more health for your OCD.

Posting on MN and asking for reassurance is just feeding into your anxiety.
You need to get help before your anxiety affects your relationship with your baby.

Please speak to your psychiatrist again and be honest about severity of your symptoms.

OCD can be treated well with medication and therapy (EMDR can be very helpful).

Yes in both my first and second pregnancies I had changes in my moles, new ones appeared and a few scabbed over and it really worried me but I was told by doctors that pregnancy causes skin changes and moles can change.

it is good that you are getting checked. If you have melanoma there is nothing you can do about it right this second, so try to focus on looking after yourself and baby. I know that’s easier said than done. Whether it’s benign or malignant, you may regret wasting these last few days of pregnancy by worrying so much. Spoken as someone who also has health anxiety!

Have you googled seborrheic keratosis OP? It really sounds like it, too.

Hello! Aww I'm so sorry you're so worried about it all. Anxiety often gets more intense during pregnancy, as your body is going through lots of changes and preparing for a big change too. I wonder whether for you this means worrying more about your health?

It might be a good time to get some help with anxiety, as realistically anxiety peaks again after giving birth, so these worries may actually get worse after baby is born.

Go and see your GP, get the mole checked out, and ask them to refer to perinatal mental health team as well.

You need to look after yourself and get your anxiety down so you can look after baby.

You have GOT to get on top of these behaviours, OP. You have a long history of medical catastrophising, it seems. You cannot do this to your child - it has to stop. You need to take action.

Parents and pregnant women who actually, genuinely have cancer, which you do not, do not stay in bed refusing to eat and crying all day with no confirmation whatsoever. They get on with things the best they can because that’s what’s best for their child.

Quite frankly, it was not a good idea to even consider parenthood without addressing this first. There’s still time for you to do something about it, please don’t do this to your child.

As a stage 4 melanoma patient this is really offensive

Try to ignore, and take care of yourself xx

So do you now accept that your blood pressure is actually normal?

@AprilBaby2025 Take a breath and look at what you know and what you don't.

You know that you have health anxiety and mental health difficulties which mean you can jump to worst case scenarios. You also know that this particular concern is very similar to concerns you've had in the past, potentially exacerbated by your current pregnancy.

You do not know that you have advanced cancer of any sort. You have a concern about something you believe to be a mole, which you think has changed in appearance.

Moles and other marks on women's bodies change during pregnancy. Cancer is not the only explanation.

You have an appointment scheduled with your GP - they can look at the mole or whatever it is and assess if it needs further investigation, or monitoring, or if it's fine to leave it alone. You also have a mental health team who can support you in managing your mental health symptoms and help you with coping strategies.

What strategies do you normally use for managing health anxiety? Have you tried those?

(Also, I really think you should ask MN to edit your thread title, as it's probably quite upsetting for some people)

It’s definitely not that (wish it was). I have a few of those. This mole is an actual mole. Feels like one and looks like one :(

I was you for years, really. Health anxiety ruled my life.

It definitely ramped up significantly during pregnancy, but I can tell you that it eased up for me once baby was born and the hormones started settling.

You’ve got to think about it logically. You’ve likely been here many, many times and how many of those times did you actually have what you feared? Yeah this time is “different” I know, and I know the feeling of being paralysed with fear and hiding away to google stuff.

Have you tried CBT? Many people find that helps.

Just to say, following further reports about this thread we've now edited the title.

OP please focus on the posts about your
anxiety. No one on this forum is qualified to advise you on moles given they are not your doctor. You are engaging in pointless reassurance seeking.

I used to do the same when I was in the grips of OCD. You will not recover until you stop doing this.

Id advise you to tell the medical professionals working with you that you regularly look for reassurance online. You need to work on stopping that. When your anxiety will start to drop.

Can you post an image?

Stop @Jimmyneutronsforehead that’s not helpful