Boyfriend doesn't want to have baby

[FirstTimeMummyxxx]

Hi, I am 23 and already have an 11 month old. My partner knew i wasn't on the pill and we have been having sex unprotected - lo and behold i done a test today and it was positive. He doesn't want to keep the baby, won't even sit down and talk about it just straight away said "do another test then we will google on what's the next steps to get rid" but i don't want to get rid. I have always wanted kids young and i am kind of against abortion... (please don't hate me for that). We have a house together but not sure what to do, leave him and keep the baby and get my own place and be a single mom or get rid like he wants?

Don't listen to him. Dump him and enjoy your own little family. Congratulations!

Either way your relationship is over.

i agree, i mentally can't do an abortion, i think it would mess me up and ill have so much regret!

Only you can make this decision. Having two children with a very small age gap is a lot, even when you have a partner who is fully committed and solid childcare and family help.

How will you support yourself financially if your partner pushes off?

It's too late to turn the clock back and not get pregnant but I wish people didn't have such a cavalier approach to creating new life. Just not using contraception is a really silly idea.

He sounds like an absolute prince

Do not have an abortion against your wishes. Enjoy your babies and "get rid" of him. Horrible man

He can’t dictate what you do with your body.

Keeping or otherwise has to be a mutual decision.

Either way your relationship is over I’m afraid.

I work, my 11 month old goes to nursery and this one will too.

I get where you are coming from about contraception but we both knew the consequences but he's acting like he thought i was never going to get pregnant !!

Point out you’re keeping it, he’ll end up posting for it. Best to make do and have a vasectomy if he loves unprotected sex that much.

Is the 11month old his ? I think this would influence my decision.

I'm not defending either of you. I think all babies deserve to be brought into the world because both of their parents wanted them and made a conscious joint decision to have them.

yes she is his daughter

I know it's my body, my decision. But he said if i keep it i'm trapping him so he's leaving me with no choice but to get rid to be honest..

You’ve both been incredibly irresponsible.

Why would baby number 2 trap him but baby number 1 didn't? That just him trying to emotional manipulate you. No man is trapped trust me

Isn't he trapped by the baby you have together already?

My partner knew i wasn't on the pill and we have been having sex unprotected

Did you have a talk about what would happen if when you got pregnant? He sounds quite thick if he's surprised that no condom + no pill = pregnancy.

I've said it before on here but if an individual feels so strongly about not having a baby, they need to take responsibility for their own contraception to prevent one. This isn't on you as you want to keep it, it's completely on him. Now the reality of child maintenance has hit and you need to prepare for him to become abusive, so my advice is to leave him/get him to leave immediately to keep yourself safe*. Do you live together?

*I once had a discussion with a man (not a romantic interest) who bragged about never using condoms. I mocked his stupidity, and said condoms are cheap, a hell of a lot cheaper than 18 years of child maintenance. He curled his lip at me with a really scary expression and said 'coat hangers are even cheaper', before also suggesting he could throw the woman down the stairs. It came out of nowhere and was a light, jokey conversation that turned dark really quickly. I think a lot of men harbour 'forcing' a miscarriage as an option in the back of their minds, and if your boyfriend believes he can dictate 'googling options to get rid of it' with no discussion I would be very wary and worried for your safety.

yes we live together. i told him to get condoms and he didn't, he also said earlier when i got a positive that i should have kept reminding him i come off the pill... WHAT🥲

If you have only just tested today maybe he’s in shock?

It's a choice between keeping a baby or your boyfriend. You knew what would happen and now have to make a decision.
How old is your bf?

We both knew the consequences, including HIM. I have not been irresponsible, he has by knowing what his actions can cause but then not want the outcome..

same age as me!

maybe, i think i'm just going to have to get rid to be honest. he's really not liking it.

Why in God's name would you sacrifice your own mental health for this man? Why?

Don't make any decisions right now. Like you say, the relationship is done either way so have a think about whether you want to be a single parent to one baby or two.

I know, i'm having a long hard think all today....urgh