Boyfriend doesn't want to have baby

[FirstTimeMummyxxx]

Hi, I am 23 and already have an 11 month old. My partner knew i wasn't on the pill and we have been having sex unprotected - lo and behold i done a test today and it was positive. He doesn't want to keep the baby, won't even sit down and talk about it just straight away said "do another test then we will google on what's the next steps to get rid" but i don't want to get rid. I have always wanted kids young and i am kind of against abortion... (please don't hate me for that). We have a house together but not sure what to do, leave him and keep the baby and get my own place and be a single mom or get rid like he wants?

Thank you!

Thank you very much 🤍

He ejaculates inside you and is then surprised when you get pregnant - what planet is he on?

Let him leave.

Because there's at least one child, possibly two in the middle of it that never asked to be dragged into chaos but that's what they're getting anyway. Imagine when they're old enough to understand 'Why did you and Daddy split up?' asks child 2. 'Because he wanted your big Sister but he didn't want you'.

As someone whose life has been affected right through childhood and into adulthood by the poor decisions of both of my parents I will always come down on the side of the innocent child(ren) in this kind of scenario.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago when my partner wanted me to abort. I agreed initially but then reconsidered. After a few discussions with him he was eventually fine with it as well. It's your body and it's your decision as well, not only his. There are support organisations i believe as well when I was pregnant and called to book an abortion they referred me to some counselling service so this may be an option if you want to talk to someone.

Just think very carefully about what you want and the outcome for you and your children. Only you can make that decision. I had an abortion several years ago very early long before anything is more than a bunch of cells.
Do I have any regrets no none at all it was the right thing at that time. I later went on to have my second child who I totally adore and would have never come into existence if I hadn’t had that termination.

No. That doesn't justify bullying the OP about how she had sex and why she earns a living. If your personal experience makes you want to bully and hector a young woman, step away.

These are the type of comments i need, just reassurance, these nasty comments are really getting me down even more, so thank you x

Of course our children can find part time jobs at 16, or even younger if they are lucky

the Op implied she had been in full time work since 16, which is why I asked.

18 is the education leaving age in England.

You seem switched on and independent. A lot more than I do and I'm 40. I think either way you will manage fine. My kids are 22 months apart.

It sounds like you very clearly don't want to have an abortion and also that you can support another child, whatever happens.

Your relationship could well be over if you have an abortion against your own wishes, it seems you will likely regret.

I would have the baby and leave what your boyfriend does up to him.

U do u Hun.

Trapping him?! Is he thick? He willingly ejaculated inside you, and presumably, being a father already, he knows that can lead to pregnancy. No one trapped him, he was just completely irresponsible.

Why is everyone so mean to op? The partner has knowingly participated into actively trying for a second child. Now he has changed his mind and demanding an abortion. And somehow this is op's fault. She has not been irresponsible. They're an adult couple with jobs and resources. She's always wanted to have kids young, first child was planned and been very honest about not using bc. There is a time when a man becomes responsible and speak up that he's not ready and bring up that one of them has to use bc.

Op, maybe this was his initial panicked reaction and he'll come around. You can decide it what he said was forgivable. Don't have an abortion unless you want to have one. Take some time and figure if you can be a single mum to 2 kids.

Oh honestly- some of you need go and have a coffee and a lie down. Some awful responses on here which are so uncalled for. Are you all a bit worse for wear after a tonne of wine last night or something? Or just in a terrible mood. Why grown women feel the need to stick the boot into a young mum on here is just mindblowing. This is why MN has such a bad reputation tbh. I'm properly disgusted by this thread and not because of the op.

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon

18 is the education leaving age

You didn't say that you said the age to leave school is 18 which isn't correct.

Do you think this makes you sound sophisticated? It does not. It makes you sound deeply unpleasant. Grow up

I wouldn’t terminate in your position OP. He could leave anyway…

Have your baby and if he goes, that’s on him. He will have to pay child support. You sound strong and determined.

Thank you very much!

Thank you, i have always been independent, which i guess works in my favour now i'm abit older haha!

Frankly a sorted single mum of two who'll still be in her early 40s when her children are in education or jobs would be an absolute catch if she wanted to risk another relationship with some lucky guy who appreciates family life.

i love this way of thinking 🤣

You already have a daughter. Surely he's 'trapped' already?

Nasty by name and nasty by nature boomtown!

OP is in a relationship with her boyfriend and they already have a daughter together. She hasn't got pregnant from a drunken one night stand (and I wouldn't even judge her if she had).

Intelligent people can still have unplanned pregnancies. In this case, I think OP would like a baby but her boyfriend's reaction has worried her and so she is considering her options and asking for advice on here.

The vitriol that has been spouted by posters is shocking, even by Mumsnet standards.