Pregnancy after loss part 3

[LER2023]

After the first 2 threads have gone really well in supporting others who are going through pregnancy after loss, ive now decided to make a part 3!
This is a safe space for anyone who wants to moan, groan, share your wonderful news or even share your experiences!

We welcome all even those who are trying after a loss!!

Oart 2 thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5071488-pregnancy-after-loss-part-2

Part 1 is at the top of part 2's thread if anyone wants to read back.

Welcome all, thank you for being part of this amazing thread🩷🩵

@Cosycore ah I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with EPU. I'm very lucky, my EPU is very good. We're on first name terms as I'm a frequent flyer 😅 (have to laugh or I'll cry!). This one feels more scary as this is our last try due to being diagnosed with a chromosome issue which means my risks are way higher than average, just can't keep rolling the dice on it.

I’ve also got a scan for tomorrow when I should be 10 weeks, have been scanned at 6 and 8 weeks by the EPU but crapping it about tomorrow still. I’ve had 2 MMC’s and spotted after sex for the whole day and evening 2 days ago so am in my head a bit.
Hopefully tomorrow is a good day for us all round 🤞
Congratulations to those who have recently had their babies, it’s really lovely to see people come back and update with good news. Hopefully those of us currently here can do the same this year!

Joining the thread however, I’m convinced I’m heading towards a third consecutive miscarriage though. Had a scan today and I’m measuring 5+0 weeks but I should be 6+6 and there is a haematoma there too which I had last time.

Track ovulation so I’m fairly sure on dates. The senior nurse has ‘broken the rules’ and booked me in for a rescan in 2 weeks time because I was sobbing (almost an exact repeat of my last pregnancy which ended in MMC)
I’m trying to stay positive, the sonographer seemed thrilled with the heartbeat and less bothered about the date discrepancy.
Wish I hadn’t bothered with the scan but they won’t give progesterone without scanning 🤷🏻‍♀️
Would be glad to hear of people who measured almost 2 weeks behind and had a positive outcome?

@Confusedmermaid1 was it a private scan or at the hospital? A heartbeat at 5 weeks is really rare, it's usually too small at that stage, usually it's from about 6 weeks you can see the heart beating. Did they try different angles to get the best measurements?

It was NHS EPU and only an internal which I know is the most accurate but previously they’d offered abdominal first as well
They were overbooked today.. something with the booking system went wrong so it was quite chaotic
The sonographer said 5-6 weeks to me but wrote in the notes 5+0 🤷🏻‍♀️ measuring about 3mm so that’s what they’re going by presumably regardless of heartbeat

Sorry that sounds so stressful. When I was measuring 3mm I was dated at 5+6 so there’s a chance there could be less of a difference

That’s reassuring, a week vs almost 2 sounds a lot better! Just a waiting game for now

@Confusedmermaid1 that sounds super stressful. It's so tiny that early on, I got told measurements up to 6 weeks are so inaccurate. Fingers crossed everything is good in a couple of weeks. I've had a 2 week wait between scans, got my next one tomorrow so I know exactly how that wait feels.

@Confusedmermaid1 at my 5+2 scan we only saw a gestational sac and yolk sac. So it sounds like you might be closer to 6 weeks 🤞 At my 7 week scan I was measuring 5 days behind. Then at my most recent scan at 9+3 I was measuring 9 weeks so only 3 days behind now. You might have implanted late or baby might catch up.

@Moosey898 sending you positive vibes and wishing you the best of luck for your scan tomorrow, got my fingers crossed for you!

@Lalalala77 good luck for your scan too! I had a scan on Monday after spotting and all was fine, it might just be your cervix.

Congrats @Blownaway23456 and @Orlahoping your stories give me hope 🤍🌈

@Blownaway23456 @Orlahoping Thank you for updating us, so happy for you both having your little ones in your arms ❤️

Keeping fingers crossed for everyone with a scan coming up soon, hoping to hear about lots of wriggly beans 🙏

Unfortunately bad news for me. Baby must have died right after last scan. 4th and final loss - we're not trying again. So I'll be saying goodbye here. Thank you all for all the support over the years.

@Moosey898 hi lovely - we've been on some other threads together. I am so sorry about the news, life can be utterly cruel and downright unfair. I hope you find your new way forward, whatever that looks like xx

So very sorry to hear this, just horrible news. You'll be in my thoughts today, sending hugs.

I'm so sorry @Moosey898
There are no words but you are in my thoughts. Take time to process and feel what feelings come.
Wishing you the best next chapter whatever that might entail. Much love 💗

Oh @Moosey898 I'm so sorry to hear your news, I was really hoping this time would be the one for you. I hope you’re ok and also wishing you all the best for the future ❤️

@Moosey898 I’m sorry to hear it was bad news, life is so unfair. I know that no words I can write will make you feel better during this time but I’m sending you so much love as you navigate the next steps. Wishing you the best for the next chapter whatever that may entail 🤍

I'm so sorry @Moosey898 it's utterly heartbreaking. I hope you can both use all the support available to you and find love and comfort in your next chapter. Be kind to yourself and take care 💛

So sorry @Moosey898 thinking of you

Thank you all - I'm devastated at the loss, and my heart will take some healing. But also, I feel relieved. Relieved I won't have to go back through the process of TCC again, the stress of pregnancy after loss, more potential losses. That tells me that we were right to make this our last try. We're both being pragmatic about next steps, adoption is very much on the table and we are lucky to have multiple people in our lives with experience of adopting so we are starting to research and have discussions. Wishing you all the best xx

So sorry @Moosey898

I’m way past child bearing years these days. However, your thread popped up and took me right back to such difficult times. I had 2 losses in 8 months, one at 11 weeks and one at around 6 weeks. I can still remember the despair and then the petrifying fear when I finally had my little sticky bean! I did 52 pregnancy tests with her- 52! I hired a Doppler and obsessively listened to her heartbeat, even though I knew it wasn’t recommended. I didn’t relax at all- endless trips to the epu, scans, panic attacks. I have never felt so vulnerable.
@Moosey898 my heart goes out to you. I would have given up after 2 mcs but I have 2 dear friends; one who had 5 losses before her first baby and another who had 11 losses between her first and third. Without them, I would have given up entirely and I know it is such a personal decision. All I can suggest is step back for now and be kind to yourself. I was 40 with my final little rainbow- 8 years after my first child and I never believed it would happen.
My heart goes out to you all x

Thank you @Sunblocker - I know this is the right decision for us. With my genetic issues there are just too many bad outcomes compared to good ones. It's time to look forward in life for us xx

So unfortunately I also had bad news at the 10 week scan yesterday. I found out the fetus was measuring 8w 2days with no cardiac activity so passed away 3 days after a really positive scan with the EPU. Started spotting a bit more brown blood and have an appointment with the EPU Monday.
not really sure where to go from here, I’m 35 and feel like time is running out to have children.
Thanks for the support and good luck to everyone else currently on their pregnancy journey x

@Moosey898 the best of luck with the adoption process of that is what you decide to do. I'm sorry this journey has come to an end there are many ways to parent in this world and I'm sure you will find a way that is right for you and your family. I know another couple who said no more after finding out that they had genetic risk factors. Do reach out and talk to people who have been through the same scenario. I always find difficult steps easier when there are people that know what I'm talking about. It just makes things easier when you don't have to start the conversation with the backstory.

@Moosey898 Oh my heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry this was the outcome. Please take good care of yourselves with whatever you decide on next. Sending the biggest hugs.