Pregnancy after loss part 3

[LER2023]

After the first 2 threads have gone really well in supporting others who are going through pregnancy after loss, ive now decided to make a part 3!
This is a safe space for anyone who wants to moan, groan, share your wonderful news or even share your experiences!

We welcome all even those who are trying after a loss!!

Oart 2 thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5071488-pregnancy-after-loss-part-2

Part 1 is at the top of part 2's thread if anyone wants to read back.

Welcome all, thank you for being part of this amazing thread🩷🩵

Absolutely fantastic thank you! We're having a little boy, i was bleeding from 13 weeks because of a large SCH. but ive stopped bleeding completely and im now 19+2! How are you? Hows everything going?

Just wanted to share that my baby girl was born on the 6th August.

It was a long difficult journey after a missed miscarriage and 18 months of infertility. The pregnancy itself also came with its challenges, spotting and needing progesterone until 16 weeks, high risk combined screening results at 12 weeks (followed by a low risk NIPT) and low papp a but we did made it and she’s here safe and well 🩷

This thread has been a great support to me during this journey. I’m wishing everyone here the best of the luck and I hope to see many more posts about rainbow babies being born in this thread in the near future 🌈

Congratulations on your baby girl!
Hopefully we do see more babies being born.

Im so glad you've had some help from this thread, it goes to show what a nice community can do!

Our little boy is due in 3 months!! Ahhh!

I don’t think I’ve updated the thread in a while.. last going off I was waiting for a RMC appointment. Well that was an absolute shit show! My initial referral was not submitted correctly and this wasn’t discovered until I chased 2 months later. Then when it finally was the only consultant who does the clinic in my hospital has been on long term sick since spring and they haven’t arranged cover for him. I was supposed to have genetic testing done on the POC removed during surgical management of my last MMC in Jan. Well in April they hadn’t received the correct authorisation to test (despite me having signed a consent form) so I have no idea what has happened with that or even if it would be suitable to test 3 months later!

Despite that, I am so happy to say I am almost 18 weeks pregnant with a little girl. I’m under consultant care and they have confirmed the results that would have been given in my RMC appointment as mostly normal. She confirmed I will be taken off the wait list for RMC appointment but still no genetic results and she couldn’t confirm whether testing was done/going to be done so I will have to contact the consultants secretary and try and get to the bottom of that.

It’s been an emotional rollercoaster and I still struggle with negative thoughts and imagine I will until she’s here but I am so grateful that everything is looking good so far 🤞🏼

Congratulations @Confusedmermaid1 - I’m currently 18 weeks too!

We had a MMC Xmas 2021, then stillborn twins in 2022. After a couple of years TTC we came to the conclusion it just wasn’t going to happen for us. We did our best to grieve and make our peace with it, I took a big step up at work…then got my BFP when we least expected it! I didn’t even test until my period was 4 days late 😅

This pregnancy has been a(nother) rollercoaster - hiding horrible morning sickness in the first trimester (though my midwife was great and got me anti-nausea meds as soon as I asked for them), low risk private NIPT followed by a HIGH combined test (1 in 2 chance of Edward’s/Patau’s) - we’ve since had two detailed top to toe scans with fetal medicine and the consultant has been very, very reassuring both times - I’m now getting my head round the idea I should probably tell work and start making plans.

The best way I can describe this pregnancy is Schrödinger’s baby - I walk around and live my life and literally have no idea if he’s dead or alive until we get our next scan. We feel better and more optimistic for a few days,
then the doubts start creeping in again.

Our consultant referred us to psych, so we’re waiting for some support there. I keep telling myself I’ll feel better if and when we get to the point where I can feel him moving around. I don’t think I’ll actually properly believe we’re having a baby until we hold him, living and breathing, and get to bring him home.

It wont be long until you feel him wriggling! My boy wont let me lay down without having a boxing match with my bladder and his sac. Which i feel all the way through to outer skin!
Its such an amazing feeling!
Im so glad you and @confusedmermaid1 are both getting your happy endings after such a long journey! I think at this point, if everything is going well, the rest should be a breeze!!

Ahhhh more babies coming in throughout christmas and new year! Its a blessing thay we've all had such shit times with TTC and now we're all either having or have had our babies! Roll on 2026 with our rainbows🥰

Is It weird to say I’m glad you can feel your boy boxing your bladder? 😅 By this point I could feel the twins moving, but obviously there were two of them which probably helped. It’s really difficult not to compare pregnancies because both are “high risk” but I’m trying to get my head round “rare twin complication high risk” vs “you’re 45 and a bit fat high risk” which I know logically is absolutely not the same.

So happy with all the lovely news. I'm currently bf my little miracle boy nearly 3 months old. The healing feeling ♥️

Congratulations 🎉
Enjoy your baby girl x

@LER2023 @Confusedmermaid1 @Geriatrixia congratulations on your pregnancies too. I hope the next few weeks and months fly by!

I'm 33 weeks but it looks like I will need inducing early between 35 and 38 weeks as I've developed obstetric Cholestasis and am now also at risk for preterm birth. I'm struggling with itching overnight which is a pain. I now also have to go for weekly bloods to monitor it and might have to change my plans of having a restful 2 weeks at my in-laws later this month as I'm not sure I'll be allowed to travel that far. As a bit of a cosmic kicker I was diagnosed a year to the day that I had my first miscarriage confirmed in a room one floor above the epu.
I am trying to get my head around potentially having an August baby and have had to up the prep in the last week. I had been struggling to buy things but picked up a pack of newborn nappies with my grocery shop yesterday and started putting the newborn clothes into the drawers.
I've got my next lot of blood tests today so on tenterhooks about whether they are better the same or worse.

Congratulations 🎉

Good luck with your blood tests @Superscientist - I’m glad they’re monitoring it carefully. The same thing came up in my paranoid “itchy when pregnant” googling at 2am but I think I’m actually just sweaty in this heat cos it’s my boobs and bump that are itchy not my hands/feet 😅

@Superscientist fingers crossed the bloods are ok and you get to go a bit longer. If you don’t mind me asking - what is the itching like? I had had itchy skin - it’s been mild(ish) but consistent. I had itchy skin with my daughter and the midwife I had said it was hormones, but this is soooo frustrating - once it starts I can’t seem to satisfy it, I have even scratched my legs with all the scratching. I have been using moisturiser/oil religiously as I thought it was just dry skin - but it hasn’t really helped. Luckily it isn’t all the time, but I do find night time it gets worse, and this heat hasn’t helped either!

The classical symptoms are itchy hands and feet mostly in the evenings and overnight without a rash. It's also most common after 28 weeks, mine started around 32 weeks.
I'm getting this but also spreads to my arms and legs and then everywhere. It's really bad at night it can wake me up 4 or 5 times a night and the last few days I've been awake from 4.30-6.30 with itching that isn't ever satisfied, my hand felt like they were on fire i had scratched them so much. I get some itching during the day too.
I've trimmed my nails which has helped the spread and rubbing rather than scratching also limits the cascade of scratching and itch and then everywhere itching. Cold showers before bed and not having a cover on in bed and bare arms has helped too

I think it's always worth mentioning again with midwives. They tested my blood straight away and when the midwife saw the results the next day she got straight on the phone to triage and if they hadn't been swamped due to it being resident Dr swap day I would have been sent straight to the hospital to see the obstetrician.

Unfortunately my bloods have gotten worse, I'm still in the moderate category for the bile acids so I think I'm still looking at an induction at 38 weeks but they are concerned about my liver function as that's significantly worse so I've got to go back in a couple of day to have those retested. I'm seeing the consultant on Wednesday after my next growth scan so will see what they have to say.

How is everyone doing?

I’m 19wks tomorrow and I still haven’t told a lot of people - did anyone else feel like telling people was just temping fate? When I was pregnant with the twins I didn’t put anything on social media until I was about 23 weeks and they died a few weeks later. This time around we told my family about 12 weeks and got a scary high risk combined test result two days later.

My partner and I are now irrationally worried about telling other people, but I’m at the point now where my bump is getting hard to hide, and because I’m in a position of responsibility in my work it’s getting to the point where I need to tell people - hopefully to make plans for my maternity leave. There are also friends I haven’t told because I haven’t seen them,
I feel a bit like I’m hiding away.

I have plans to tell my team next week - I was hoping to get my 20 weeks scan out of the way first but it’s actually just after our team meeting. I work with lovely people, most of whom were very supportive when the twins died, but there’s part of me just dreading bringing more change (and possibly more sadness) into their lives.

Really struggling with PGP to the point where the doctors are telling me to take a week off with sick note and the opportunity is there if i wanted it to rest and get myself right before going back to work properly.

You can wait until 25 weeks to tell your employer. Its hard to hide a bump at 25 weeks mind you, but you can always wear baggy clothes and flowy dresses since its warm!

I told my manager about 2 miscarriages o had and then a 3rd while i was working with them. They were unbelievabley understanding about it.
And then when i told them i was pregnant again, they were awing on the side of caution for me.
I had to sit down all the time until i got past 12 weeks, i wasnt allowed to do a thing!!
If you feel more comfortable waiting it out then do so! I told mine as soon as i found out for caution because if i was to go on and miscarry i didnt want to have it on my sick record as a bad thing when im just trying to get right before coming back.
Im now 27 weeks and everyone i see at work keeps awing at my growing bump🤣
I just do an eye roll like yes.. awh at him because when hes here hes in trouble for putting mummy through pain🤣

I was about 17 weeks when I started telling everyone. It was when it was starting to be more obvious. I did the same with my first. The exception being a few people who I could trust to be supportive. There was one colleague who was supportive through early pregnancy so she's known about each of my recent pregnancies. I worked quite closely with her and I also wanted her to know that if I couldn't do something there was a reason.

I'm struggling at the moment, I've got obstetric Cholestasis and the itchy is unbearable, I'm back at the hospital every few days for more blood tests as my liver function is getting worse each time. The bile acid results are staying in the moderate range so I'm still looking at induction at 38 weeks, I'm currently 34 weeks. I've got a review with the obstetrician on Wednesday hopefully to get more of an idea of the plan. I'm not sure I can tolerate another 4 weeks of endless itching, it's waking me 4 or 5 times a night. My mental health is really vulnerable to poor sleep as well as pregnancy so that's on my mind too

It sounds like you are having a difficult time too @LER2023. Take care lovely x

I’d seriously consider taking a week off @LER2023 - it could make all the difference, sometimes are bodies are telling us we need to stop.

@Superscientist that itching sounds miserable, you poor thing - the constant tests must be really draining too.

I’ve been trying to hide the bump in baggy clothes but it’s not really working, what I probably need are layers, scarves etc but it’s too bloody warm for that!

Hi everyone,
So glad I found this thread, as I feel like I'm going out of my mind with stress.
I had a unproboematic pregnancy and delivery with my son in 2023 and then suffered a unexplained second trimester loss in January this year at 16 weeks. I was then referred to the RMC and although nothing substantial was found I have been put on blood thinners + Aspirin for TEG results, and had scans every two weeks.
Everything was going perfectly and I felt quite optimistic unless I had a horrendous bleed at 11 weekS - bright red blood. A scan the next day showed everything was fine and I was just told it was one of those things and to go home and rest (they couldn't find a cause for the bleed). That happened last week and resolved after 2/3 days.

Ive started very lightly spotting again and the sight of any kind of blood just sends me spiralling as that was the only sign I had the last time that something was wrong. Im getting fed up with the mental torture of waiting on scans to check if my babies still alive or not and just don't know how to cope anymore. When I had the bleed last week the physical reaction I had was scary, my head just started to spin and I felt like I was going to pass out. Even the smallest amount now makes me feel like I cant breathe anymore.

I'm hoping EPU will see me tomorrow and I have my 12 wk scan scheduled Tuesday.. But I know ultimately that no amount of scans are reassuring me. I'm sure I have some sort of PTSD from what happened the last time and really struggling to cope with this pregnancy :(

Im so sorry you've endured a loss and now struggling with this pregnancy.
It can be unexplained bleeding, irritated uterus, or even a SCH.
I went for my 12 week scan and everything was absolutely fine then a couple of days later i bled a lot, it looked really bad and i broke down and cried so much i could barely speak to triage on the phone. I managed to pick myself up but acted as though i wasnt bothered. I was saying to my OH 'will you get me a pad, more underwear and more trousers' i could see it was hurting him as much as me. But i just kept playing it off as nothing after 3 losses.

Triage told me to go to EPAU who scanned me and found a large haematoma.

I bled for a couple of days and then it turned brown, and carried on until i was around 17 weeks i believe.

Im now 33 weeks and ready to get this baby out🤣

Moral.. you can never be too sure, but anything you are scared about you need to speak to triage, no matter whether you have a scan on Tuesday. Go to both.

Im sure a lot of ladies will agree its so scary going to scans and appointments, but when you see them on the screen it makes you feel better for an hour and then your back to worrying. Its hard having a loss(es) before a pregnancy. It makes you over think everything. I hope you get on ok x

Is this thread still active? I've hsd 8 losses, ive also got 3 healthy children, my recent loss was 8 months ago ive recently found out that im pregnant again I found at 9/10dpo im currently 4wks 2 days now and i cannot shift the feeling that somethings going to go horribly wrong, like every ache twinge tug I feel in my back hips and stomach my heart sinks and then a panic attack sets in, its currently 01:07am and ive had 3 panic attacks already, my partner is asleep children are asleep and friends are asleep and jm awake alone so my head is genuinely doing over time thinking about all the worst case scenarios how can I possibly ease the stress and worry? Im sooo tired but yet my head won't let me switch off and sleep, its knocking me sick, I still have sore boob's extreme fatigue and constantly needing to wee and ive no more pregnancy tests to take to see if the lines are getting darker, I have took a few lh strips though and have had dye steelers on them but I know they are not reliable or accurate, this is honestly the 1st time ive ever properly freaked out over this to the point ive had several panic attacks, someone plesse tell me im not alone thank you for reading, this crazy mama just needs some advice and someone to speak to xxx

Im so sorry for your previous losses and im sorry nobody was available at that time to give you some comfort.

You have 3 children which is amazing! It shows your body can do some wonderful things, you'll find everyone here has gone through the exact same thing, whether its 1 loss or multiple losses. Its never a nice thing to go through and you do have that anxiety throughout pregnancy although the anxiety changes when you get to a certain point.

You'll have seen things mentioned about anxiety over early pregnancy, scans ect.

Just know you are not alone in this journey, ive had 3 recurrent losses before this pregnancy and gosh it was so hard!!
With this pregnancy i barely had any symptoms, i went for an early reassurance scan at 7 weeks thanks to my midwife. I had to fight to cancel my holiday to rome because i would have been 7 weeks at the time of flying and ive always suffered losses when i believed i was between 7 - 9 weeks pregnant, so we decided that was best for us.

There was a lot of tears, sleepless nights, and overall anxiety to the point i'd be a stressed little hermit going to work and saying to my colleague what if..

Self care, and keeping yourself busy will get you through this tough time!

Gentle congratulations on your pregnancy, we will all try and help out as much as we can, but it may be worth speaking to a GP about your MH and getting some help before you are able to see a midwife x

Am now 57 but in my 20s I had 18 miscarriages I was attending Queen Mary's in London where a professor reagan run so many differant complex tests etc and couldnt find anything wrong, she said its obviously something science has not come up with yet, I kinda gave up trying from that point, but at 34 found myself pregnant, it was the worse pregnancy, baby wasn't growing properly they gave me the amniotic test, came bk good, doctor gave me the option of termination at 6 months gone, he said he doesn't know whats wrong but obviously something is, I chose to continue, I got preoclampsia and was taking to theatre at 6 weeks early, my baby girl was born at 1lb 12 and totally ok, doctor apologised to me and said he'd never come across such a thing in his career, I found out after them testing my placenta that I have a rare condition, cant say what its called but its my body tries to reject a pregnancy thinking its a foreign object, and it was actually professor reagan that discovered this condition, my daughter is now 23 years old with her own baby boy, never give up