Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

@1yearplan so sorry youre exhausted. I'm glad something I said resonates as I felt like I was just having a big moan. Noone else to say it all to!

@Zlcb wow ivf on top of it all must be so so hard.. how far along are you now? Xxx

@Wise0wl thanks so much, and so sorry youre having your third first trimester in 9 months- that is unimaginably hard. How far along are you now?

@Zlcb I'm 8+3 had a scan at 7+2 and all was ok, I got a scan on the 25th so trying to hang on till then, no sore boobs at all today so definitely panicking

Panicking here...

I'm 8w 4d and as of yesterday my symptoms (chronic heartburn/indigestion and nausea) have GONE. They disappeared over night. I've even managed to drink a cuppa tea and eat spicy crisps whereas previously they would make me nauseated in seconds.

Serious cramp in lower pelvic area this morning, just once and nothing else.

Fatigue has eased greatly as well, but I wonder if that's because I'm generally feeling better without the nausea etc. I managed to stay awake past 9pm last night with no naps either which hasn't happened in weeks.

Boobs aren't sore but they feel like boulders, very hard and annoying - reminds me of post birth when your milk is coming in minus the heat.

Kept myself busy so far today but now I'm getting inside my own head because this day two of this less symptoms...

I've now read that progesterone can mask miscarriage, and having already had a missed miscarriage I'm freaking out 😔

Sorry to vent but I'm at home with the kids, no transport and EPU won't see me with the kids anyways so pointless contacting them.

@OnNaturesCourse this happened to me and a few others on here around that time if that helps. For a couple of days. Same I could drink tea, boobs felt sensitive but not heavy, nausea gone. It returned a few days later. Sorry this is happening to you xx

@OnNaturesCourse no words of wisdom from me sorry but you're not alone, I'm 8+3 and going through exactly the same and I'm panicking! Have you got a scan booked? My next scan is the 25th but feels like ages away

@OnNaturesCourse I believe that’s about 4 of us in the same boat now so hopefully it’s just symptoms coming and going (although mine have not returned for a week). At 8 weeks mine went for a couple of days then came back quite strong for a week and now has seemed to disappear completely… I’m 10 + 5 now and nothing since 9+4. There are little twinges, I need to pee several times a night and the odd bout of heartburn so I’m holding on to hope.
@MOGMOGMOG85 yeah it’s been a really tough journey, I’m 10 + 5 today. Well that’s my IVF date but all 3 scans I’ve been 2 days behind so NHS scan may change my due date.
I’m petrified to have another scan, I honestly get such bad PTSD every time and shake from head to toe, I almost fell down the stairs after my last one because I had been that scared my legs turn to jelly 🙈 I know you can all relate. Think thats why I’m going to try and hold out until 31st for my NHS one
x

@Zlcb I'M 10+5! And my symptoms changed at 9+4.. I hope we can take some comfort in that. I'm still slightly nauseous but nothing major since 9+3. Breasts a bit sore but nowhere near as much. With my son it was around 10+4 my symptoms stopped, but I don't think it's an exact science. I think at 9 and a half weeks the placenta does really start taking over more...

Scans are awful, yes I realised I might have PTSD when I went for my 7 week scan and I was so on edge and just desperately wanted to run out the room and run away... my pulse was so high and I felt heightened and so so stressed, and it wasn't just the idea of the scan it was the moment i walked in the door into that environment, it physically triggered something.

I also think nhs clinicians are just nicer - I can't wait to get into the nhs system. I just have been booking private scans every 2 weeks until that time so it will be my third private one on Saturday. I've probably overdone it, and it's not really helped anything feel more real. I'm waiting to feel relieved at some point, but it's not happened yet... xxx

Thanks so much @Zlcb, scan went well today, dating at 9 weeks exactly and heartbeat was good. My symptoms had decreased quite a bit since last week, was so worried before but relieved baby is progressing well ❤

Yeah yours sounds like your placenta is starting to take over the work, my first pregnancy was exactly the same at 9 weeks and this one seems similar too, did you get a scan booked?

Yeah the thyroid tests are reassuring, I've been getting tested every 4 weeks (they say 4-6 but i keep them to the minimum if possible) and I got a private one in between the two I had just to double check as mine tend to fluctuate quite a bit.

13k, my friend went through ivf and said the same, so expensive - it'll be so worth the journey to your little baby ❤

My 12 week scan is next, and is in about 3 weeks...but I am going to have to change it.

My hospital won't allow children into scans and I have no child care Monday thro Friday so my hands are totally tied.

Can't get a EPU scan although I was offered one weekly, and I can't attend the 12 week one either.

I guess I will need to go private but the only private place local enough is where I found out my DDs heart had stopped, and I paid £90 for that information! 😭

@OnNaturesCourse I’m sure you’ve exhausted all options but would it not be cheaper to pay a babysitter to look after your DC and have a scan at EPU than pay for a private scan? So sorry it’s hard for you to access medical support, though being honest I’ve found it very difficult seeing DC in the maternity appointment bit, and would have found it very difficult if they’d been in EPU

@MOGMOGMOG85 oh wow we’re exactly the same! Amazing! So good to hear your symptoms are up and down too. Yes I’ve had scans at 6/7/8 weeks ish. The first and last were private and the 7 was my IVF viability scan. I’ve now hit a wall and am petrified of going for another. If I do it would be this weekend at 11 weeks because that’s around midway between my last and the NHS- they make you feel better for a day or so but then back to worrying!
I’ve definitely relaxed over the last few days though, I’m less panicked from the symptoms going but that’s only because everyone keeps telling me I need to try and relax for the baby.
@T2024 omg wow!!! I’m so so happy for you!!! That’s really good news and so exciting! That’s so good to hear the sickness etc died down for you last time too. I do feel like a lot of people on here are worried around the same stage and really hopeful we are all ok and it’s just the placenta 🙏.
ooh you make me want to ask for more thyroid tests as they said every 3 months at my midwife appointment.
I hope you can now have a relaxing weekend 💕

Can't say a babysitter has crossed my mind, it's not a standard option where I am from. I also can't see myself leaving the children with someone I don't know. I know there are local childminders but most have waiting lists of months.

I think I'll go private and just take the toddler in the buggy with plenty snacks and their toniebox with headphones.

I do understand the reasoning behind the hospital policies, I really do, but I also can't imagine I am the only person to have this childcare issue with younger children (not nursery or school age) I'm just frustrated and worried.

I did wake up through the night sick so that, oddly, is putting my mind at rest a little bit today. How is everyone else today?

@OnNaturesCourse must be hard not being able to have scans due to no child care, I know you can bring children to private scans but there expensive ain't they, I'm paying £100 for a private one 🙃 no sore boobs this morning again, feel like my symptoms are easing which is freaking me right out, but it's not much I can do now so just going to ride it out x

@OnNaturesCourse is there no option for a weekend scan? I know on my 12 week scan later it said that they do offer weekend appointments and evening, but I understand all trusts are different and I might be asking a totally silly question. It does seem such a shame that you are having to fork out such an expense due to circumstances you simply can't change.

I've been feeling particularly rough this morning and all of yesterday, my symptoms weren't so obvious on Wednesday and I was feeling worried, but they are definitely still here! I also found it quite a relief as I am too early (6+4) for symptoms to be disappearing entirely I think.

@Mamaxo how far along are you now? Could your symptoms be easing because you are getting a bit further along and people say the placenta starts to take over. I understand it is super anxiety inducing, and really difficult not to think the worst when you have already been through loss, but I really hope that it's just the body doing it's thing and it's not something sinister💓

@SunflowerDream they don't offer weekend scans on NHS where I am. Frustrating!

@SunflowerDream I'm 8+3 so not sure if it's normal? I got a scan the 25th so trying to ride it out x

Slowly dying inside whilst I wait for my follow up scan on Wednesday 😓 even the sunny weather isn't helping. Just feel like my world is collapsing, I don't have either of my parents for support (mum has severe mental health issues causing stress currently, dad is having bad memory issues as well as personality changes and needs to see doctors as we're concerned it could be dementia and it's rapidly getting worse). Partner found out he won't have a job in a week. I'm emotionally drained and have absolutely nothing to give. Got an assessment for therapy and it's an 11 week wait and I can't afford to go private. Xx

Hi to all you lovely people. Just want to give you all a big hug as you navigate your journeys. I’m now creeping into 11 weeks after 6 miscarriages.

I feel wracked with guilt feeling so emotional as I am blessed to have a 4yo son but this journey has been really challenging and I still don’t quite believe that we might ever be blessed again.

Throughout my TTC journey and multiple losses, including medical miscarriage and a miscarriage at 15 weeks, I’ve had two days off sick at work from a very intense, stressful, global corporate job. I’m feeling intensely anxious, overwhelmed, tearful everyday… consumed by stress at work and stress at home. Any advice? My org is going through a huge change and rely on me immensely and I’ve some younger team members who are pregnant and due off soon so I really can’t afford to take my foot off the accelerator, and yet I feel I am completely overwhelmed with exhaustion.

wishing you all lots of love

@OnNaturesCourse please don’t panic about symptoms disappearing - midwives and GPs have told me consistently it’s not necessarily related to anything frightening as hormone levels tends to begin balancing between 8-10 weeks and therefore for some women symptoms wear off. Please try not to worry (I know that’s impossible)

@moosey89 I'm just after reading your message. I'm half asleep and feeling nauseous at 1am so apologies if this seems short but I just wanted to send you hugs. What a horrible time to be going through, I can't imagine the stress seeing both your parents go thro health issues while battling this journey. Here for virtual hand hold at any time.. ❤️

Thank you @PocketRocket12 .

You sound like you are under a overwhelming amount of stress. I know you say you can't take your foot off the pedal but prehaps you need to for your mental and physical health?

How is everyone this weekend?

@OnNaturesCourse extreme heartburn and can't eat anything without bloating that hurts, feeling sick today to but boobs are not sore at all, got my scan Saturday trying to hold on to that. How are you? Xx

Hi all, currently 6+2 after 3 miscarriages - have a healthy 3.5 year old. The miscarriages have been whilst TTC for our 2nd. Started spotting last night a bit heavier today. Have a scan already booked for Tuesday, I did spot with my first a lot but so so scared at the moment, really really don’t want to go through another miscarriage 😭