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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant, alcohol and high anxiety

201 replies

Mia098 · 26/09/2023 16:59

Hello. I have found out that I am pregnant. before I found out I was drinking alcohol. we were on holiday the first week I was pregnant and drank wine and beer every day. I came home and took a pregnancy test. it was negative. I took another one which was also negative. we went on holiday for 5 more days and then I drank wine with food. when I got home I got a positive test and since then I've had so much anxiety because I'm terrified of having hurt the child. It has now been a few weeks and the anxiety is only getting worse. even though this was a wanted child, I am now considering an abortion as I feel that the anxiety is eating me up. the doctor said I could think about an abortion since I had so much anxiety because of the drinking. I don't know what to do, the anxiety has taken over me and I feel I have no choice.

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TheBirdintheCave · 26/09/2023 17:01

All will be well. I drank so much the week before I found out I was pregnant with my now nearly three year old :) He's turned out just fine.

Original poster
Mia098 · 26/09/2023 17:47

thanks for reply. I am so afraid that the child will be born with fas or that it will suffer some mental damage. none of the doctors I've spoken to can say anything for sure, and my anxiety just gets higher and higher.

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jolies1 · 26/09/2023 17:50

Almost all my friends were drinking before they found out they were pregnant - most of us have busy lives and so many went on a boozy holiday / to a festival / hen do before getting to the end of the month and realising they were pregnant. Try not to let this spoil the experience for you, if you continue with your pregnancy x

addictedtotheflats · 26/09/2023 17:52

I mean im not expert but im pretty sure 12 days of drinking out of a whole pregnancy isnt going to be detrimental to your baby. I mean there is a chance but it will be very slim.
Women smoke and drink and take drugs throughout their pregnancies and have healthy babies (obviously not advocating this at all). Personally I wouldn't worry at all, how are you meant to know you were pregnant you had a negative test, don't beat yourself up

Holdmysunhat · 26/09/2023 18:24

My friend took a large amount of cocaine at NY when pregnant with her first. Plus booze aplenty. Another friend had her wedding (which was an overseas affair lasting a week) when she was unknowingly 5 weeks pregnant. Let’s just say she’s a big boozer anyway so you can imagine what a bender it was. Both babies are now very healthy toddlers.

If you want hard data on why this is not an issue, check out the book ‘Expecting Better’. Remember that pregnancy dials up the anxiety to the max anyway. Hope you feel better soon and make the right decision for you.

Weefreetiffany · 26/09/2023 18:36

As I understand it, until the placenta grows and connects with your blood supply at the end of the first trimester, there’s no way of the alcohol actually getting to the foetus. It has everything it needs for the first three months based on the previous 3 months of both parents diets/lifestyles. It’s well protected as you can’t be expected to be careful if you don’t know you’re pregnant. Which most women don’t until theyve missed two periods (historically, before tests etc) So no chance of fas from a bit of over indulging before you knew. Just be healthy and hydrated as much as possible going forward. No need for an abortion based on this. Congratulations!

SnapdragonToadflax · 26/09/2023 18:39

I know of someone who found out she was pregnant after a boozy girls' week in Ibiza... and she was 5 months pregnant but had continued to have very light periods, so didn't realise. Now that was a risk for FAS - but her child is fine.

Think about how many people drink before realising they're pregnant. No-one can guarantee anything, but there's no reason to think your baby would be affected.

Original poster
Mia098 · 26/09/2023 18:55

Thanks for the answers everyone. I am so afraid that I have harmed the baby that I do not think I can continue the pregnancy. I cry every day because I'm so scared and have a lot of anxiety all the time. If I continue and the baby has defects I could never forgive myself. This hurts so bad.

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OooohAhhhh · 26/09/2023 19:00

Hi OP, I drank before I knew I was pregnant, and like many other pp's before us, so do many others. At such an early stage it's very unlikely that any harm will have occurred. It's tiny cells at this stage. The further you are on in pregnancy is when drinking will have the most impact. How many weeks was you when you found out?
Are you getting treatment for your anxiety at all?

Original poster
Mia098 · 26/09/2023 19:08

First week I was pregnant I drank every day on holiday. In week 5 I drank 4-5 days on holiday, 1-2 glasses of wine each day.
The doctor has referred me for help, but there is a waiting period.

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Original poster
Mia098 · 26/09/2023 19:09

I found out when I was 4+5. the last glass of wine was the day before.

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OooohAhhhh · 26/09/2023 19:23

So 4+4, around the same time when everyone else finds out for the first time they are pregnant. Life doesn't go on hold before you find out, it's impossible to know until a test detects it, life carries on as normal
up until then. For this reason this will happen a lot . The baby isn't getting anything via the placenta at the moment, I wouldn't worry at all.
Regarding your anxiety, if you haven't seen a doctor before your 1st midwife appt then I'd mention it to them, they will be able to do something about it and fast track you.
Don't google, I'm terrible for Dr Google and I don't do it anymore. You are catastrophizing, thinking the worst case scenario which is common in anxiety sufferers, I do it. It's the anxiety that is causing you this problem here, not the alcohol.

Original poster
Mia098 · 26/09/2023 19:35

thank you for your answer. yes, I have searched on google and find so much about phase. I read about a lady who said she drank in week 6 and had a child with phase. I think catastrophically that the child will be born with phase and that I will never forgive myself. yes, I have struggled with anxiety before but now it is much worse than ever. I have spoken to the doctor about this but it takes time to get help. I just want my life back. if I keep it, I'm afraid I'll be looking for alcohol damage to the child in the kong run. it's probably hard for someone who hasn't been drinking before they found out they were pregnant to understand how it feels, I would be calm if this wasnt about me and what I have done. I’m sorry,I’m just so afraid.

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Original poster
Mia098 · 26/09/2023 19:36

long run*

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flowerpop · 26/09/2023 19:51

Op,

The first two weeks are considered an 'all or nothing period' this is the first two weeks after conception. As in, it would either cause a miscarriage or have no effect. I know because I spoke to a private doctor about the same thing. So if you found out at 4 + 5, you don't need to even think about the first two weeks. Was it binge drinking in those 5 days after? If not, the risk of harm is considered low but they can never rule it out completely. The most important thing is you stopped now. Plenty of people drink much more in those early days and have healthy babies.

That's the exact medical advise I was given.

The other thing i'll say is your anxiety is much worse in huge part due to hormones, again I have the same thing when i'm pregnant. my anxiety goes insane. if you have the termination you may look back and think oh not sure what I was so worried about. I've been in the same situation.

Hope that helps.

Original poster
Mia098 · 26/09/2023 19:59

thanks for reply. no, it wasn't binge drinking 4+0-4+5, it was a maximum of 1-2 glasses of wine each day. but I also worry about the week I drank on vacation 1 week after conception.

regarding the anxiety, I feel it has escalated a lot. I have never been so worried and had so much anxiety before. I suffered from anxiety before, but this is heavy..

did you have a terminaton because you drank alcohol?

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Original poster
Mia098 · 26/09/2023 20:00

or did you continued the pregnancy where you drank before you knew?

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neleh87 · 26/09/2023 20:14

There are lots of posts about this, and they all say the same. It happens to many of us! I was on holiday drinking all sorts the week before I found I was pregnant. I went to an absinthe bar!! Told the GP and she just said, don't drink anymore, which of course I didn't.
My lovely, healthy 6 month old baby is now snoozing next to me 😊

Congratulations on your pregnancy. All is well.

LickYouLikeACrispPacket · 26/09/2023 20:19

Please don’t worry too much. I was not expecting to fall pregnant with my firstborn and I had drank a lot and consumed some recreational drugs before I found out. I was so worried but I went for an early scan and felt reassured
He is a strapping big 18 year old
now!

Laurabeee · 26/09/2023 20:19

I am a big worrier myself and I really feel for you. Try to distract yourself from these thoughts with something you enjoy doing. It is very very likely everything will be fine and you are just feeling so anxious because you’re pregnant and want to get everything right.

hopefully you will be posting on here and reassuring someone else worried about what they did in early pregnancy in a year’s time!

Hope you feel better soon

Laurabeee · 26/09/2023 20:22

Also, don’t be so hard on yourself! You are doing your best and already worrying about the baby so it’s a sign you will be a conscientious mother!

Kilminchy123 · 26/09/2023 20:37

Hi OP @Mia098 ,

when I was around 5 weeks pregnant with my son (I obviously was unaware of the pregnancy) there was a big occasion in my family and I drank excessively for three days. On the fourth day I was EXTREMELY ill - vomiting all day, couldn’t even keep down a sup of water, severely dehydrated, my lips were completely blue and I thought I was actually going to die. I think I was getting sick for 18 or so hours (I can get severely hungover I genuinely think I’m allergic). I wasn’t trying to get pregnant and I drank stupidly as I didn’t know my limits at this time.

my little boy is absolutely perfect. I can definitely relate to this type of anxiety in pregnancy as I experienced it with him also. I used a cream that had an ingredient that I wasn’t confident in and I rang about 12 pharmacists at the time, emergency doctor, my own GP - to all be told it’s okay and don’t use going forward if it’s going to cause such anxiety. I was later diagnosed with Perinatal OCD for other repetitive behaviours surrounding anxiety.

I would definitely try to get some support surrounding these feelings, you seem to really care for your growing baby and your pregnancy so I wouldn’t make a rash decision until you get more support. X

ItJustFellOutLikeWordVomit · 26/09/2023 20:38

I’m no doctor but for me there’s a big difference in drinking for the first few weeks (before you know you’re pregnant) and drinking consistently throughout your pregnancy, everyone I know (with their first child) has had a couple of drinks in the first few weeks of pregnancy when they didn’t know they were pregnant and all the kids are totally fine, now you know given you are very early on obviously no more alcohol but I wouldn’t over think the drinks in the first couple of weeks of pregnancy xxx

buckingmad · 26/09/2023 20:59

1-2 glasses a few days is nothing. So many people binge etc before they know they’re pregnant.

BabyD6 · 26/09/2023 21:03

Try not to worry! I am 15+6 today and we found out we were pregnant after a boozy weekend in Manchester! When I found out I was 5 weeks, but that weekend we had been in Manchester and I was eating salami etc and unlimited cocktails at happy hour (which lasted for 6 hours!!!)

Obviously since finding out I have not drunk any alcohol.. But all my tests and scans have come back healthy and nothing to worry about!

I did panic at first but then thought some people don’t realise they are pregnant until 9 weeks so at least we know early and have stopped as soon as we found out.

How far pregnant are you? Once you have your scans etc you’ll feel much better x