Pregnant, alcohol and high anxiety

[Mia098]

Hello. I have found out that I am pregnant. before I found out I was drinking alcohol. we were on holiday the first week I was pregnant and drank wine and beer every day. I came home and took a pregnancy test. it was negative. I took another one which was also negative. we went on holiday for 5 more days and then I drank wine with food. when I got home I got a positive test and since then I've had so much anxiety because I'm terrified of having hurt the child. It has now been a few weeks and the anxiety is only getting worse. even though this was a wanted child, I am now considering an abortion as I feel that the anxiety is eating me up. the doctor said I could think about an abortion since I had so much anxiety because of the drinking. I don't know what to do, the anxiety has taken over me and I feel I have no choice.

Many thanks to everyone who answers:) it means a lot! I am 10 weeks. :)

I had an early scan to calm myself down a bit. but I know they can't see alcohol damage on scans so unfortunately that doesn't help much. have nightmares about the child being born with fas. I don't know how to forgive myself if the baby is born with something that could be my fault:/

So many people have done this. I reckon the majority of women will have drunk alcohol in the first few weeks of pregnancy. For the first few weeks of pregnancy, I thought I was just having a run of weirdly bad hangovers when it was actually morning sickness. The thing is, there's always going to be something. Nobody has the perfect pregnancy. Maybe you'll eat something a bit dodgy one day. Or forget the rules about what kind of cheese you can eat. Or slip over on the pavement. There's always going to be something to be anxious about but you have to, somehow, get a grip of it. For some people that's therapy, for others it's medication.

My mum didn't find out she was pregnant until she was 12 weeks with my older brother, and she drank heavily throughout those 12 weeks (it was the 80s and she worked in the city). Brother is 6ft, well adjusted, Oxford university educated and all round annoyingly perfect so doesn't seem to have done him any harm 😂

PPs are right, the issue here is your anxiety, not what you drank in those first couple of weeks. As you are now 10 weeks, have you had your midwife booking in appointment? It feels like you would benefit from talking to the perinatal team about your anxiety so they can help.

OP, I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks. I tested when I realised my hangover (following a long weekend away) was not shifting after three days. I was 25, a very busy social life, and had probably drunk most days since conception.

Baby is nearly 14 and not a hint of FAS or any other defects.

What everyone says here is true, that for most women, lives were lived until they got a line on the test and a good proportion will have drunk in the early days.

I went out and got hammered when I was unknowingly six weeks pregnant. And I do mean hammered, shots, the lot. No problems. She's a very healthy and intelligent woman of 22 now.

@LavenderSweetPea thanks. yes, I have been to the midwife and she can see that I worry a lot. My doctor has referred me to a psychologist, but it can take time to get help

thanks everyone: were you never afraid that the alcohol could harm the fetus? I am so anxious about that.
if I keep the baby I am afraid I will always carry this anxiety. firstly it is the fas and the face that can be damaged, but I also know that the mental part can be damaged. I feel like I'm going crazy with anxiety.

I should also say, I found out I was pregnant at 4+2, I also drank on and off in the 3 weeks previous to that.

I'll be honest, no I have never worried about it at all. From a purely scientific point of view, before the placenta is formed in weeks 8-10ish how much you drink really makes no meaningful difference.

That's not to say I'm not anxious, I'm incredibly anxious about all kinds of other things (some reasonable, some less logical). I am seeing the perinatal team and a therapist for my anxiety. It's normal to worry, pregnancy is an incredibly anxiety inducing team. For whatever reason, this particular thing has become the focus of your anxiety but I hand on heart promise you with the right support you can move past this.

Rather than worrying about the harm alcohol may have done to the baby you'd be much better accessing the perinatal health team. Go to your doctor and ask to be referred; it's very likely that they'll see you fast.

The anxiety is your hormones. I had some truly insane worries during my first pregnancy, things even less likely than FAS from your pre-4 weeks pregnant drinking. I was so anxious that I literally didn't sleep for a week, I was a basket case. I was seen fast by the PN mental health team, and treated quickly. Within a couple of weeks I was on treatment and calm.

Don't end your much-wanted pregnancy over this. It's a mental health issue, not a physical health issue.

Alcohol in the first two weeks after implantation is unlikely to cause any problems
https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/developmental-timeline-alcohol-induced-birth-defects

Apparently only 4% of children born to heavy drinkers develop FAS!

I never worried at all. My understanding was that until you're about 5/6 weeks pregnant, any alcohol has pretty much effect because it's still too early in the pregnancy.

Pretty much zero effect that should say!

Thank you very much. I hope I can do it too. right now it feels like it's the alcohol's fault that I feel so much anxiety, and that's probably because it's the alcohol that the anxiety is focusing on. my anxiety probably focuses a lot on this because I've read on the internet that it's one of the worst things you can do to a fetus, and that they don't know the lower limit.

Thank you everyone. It means a lot that you all replying.

It's fine. It happens. It happened to me. Don't stress about it.

@mynameiscalypso but I drank my last glass of wine 4+5 so I was already in week 5:/

Sorry to be blunt, but getting a termination over this would be crazy.

I was in a situation similar to yours. Stressful week at work where I drank daily, then a flight abroad with lots of turbulence where I was downing g&t after g&t.

The following day I found out I was pregnant. (Probably around 5-6 weeks).

DD is now a gorgeous and super intelligent 5-year old.

Please try not to worry. Alcohol use in the implantation phase has no effect on the foetus. As PP has pointed out, worst case scenario could be a miscarriage but if that hasn't happened, then all is well.

@PerfectYear321 It is in the third week after fertilizationthat specific alcohol-induced birth defects begin to affect the developing embryo. At this point in the developmental timeline, gastrulation commences and the three embryonic germ layers(ectoderm, mesoderm, and endoderm) are set. (From the link you send) I was in week three after fertilization, I was 4+5 when I had my last glass) :(

It's still far too early for it to be an issue - the risk is around a miscarriage but you haven't had one so it's not an issue. A very small number of babies are born every year in the UK with FAS and they will be to the people who drank heavily throughout pregnancy (and even then, only a small % will develop FAS). They are not being born to people who had a couple of drinks in the first few weeks of pregnancy. I had an odd glass of wine during my pregnancy as did pretty much every one of my friends/family. All our children are fine.

It is in the third week after fertilizationthat specific alcohol-induced birth defects begin to affect the developing embryo. At this point in the developmental timeline, gastrulation commences and the three embryonic germ layers(ectoderm, mesoderm, and endoderm) are set. Between this point and the sixth week after fertilization, when neurulationoccurs, the cranial neural crest cell population is vulnerable to alcohol-induced damages. The cranial neural crest cells compose the frontonasal process of the developing embryo, which interacts with the ectoderm to differentiate into facial features. Damage to this cellular progenitor pool can result in the minor midline facial abnormalities characteristic of FAS.

OP, I don’t know anyone who didn’t drink at least a bit before finding out they were pregnant. I had my engagement party and a girls weekend the week before I found out and had a lot more than 1-2 glasses of wine. My best friend was on a wild hen do to Barcelona and had a positive test the day we got back. Of course I didn’t drink once I found out but unless you go completely teetotal from the moment when you stop using contraception until you test positive, the likelihood is you’ll have had a couple of drinks before you find out. No doctor or medical website will say there’s 100% no risk. Of course they can’t. But your midwife will likely reassure you that you’ve not done anything wrong x

The internet can be a great tool but if you’re anxious, you WILL find things to prove your fears are real. I obsessively checked somethings at first and have had to stop reading anything except NHS website, or advice from my midwife. They are the experts.

They only don't know the lower limit because it's unethical to get pregnant women drunk and see how it affects a baby's development. It's not saying that there's no lower limit, just that they don't know what it is. In reality, a small amount of alcohol probably doesn't make a difference at any stage but they can't prove that.

I was working in nightclubs in Greece when I got pregnant with my daughter, I thought my morning sickness was a hangover for about 2 months.

She's mid twenties now, absolutely fine.

Your anxiety does need addressing. Lots of countries don't line up in terms of alcohol consumption during pregnancy, I think if someone said to most of my European friends that 1-2 glasses of wine was a major health concern they would raise an eyebrow.

Obviously I would never recommend drinking or smoking when pregnant but.... I was on the pill (which you shouldn't be when pregnant) and hadn't thought about using alternatives having had a period of diahorrea (being honest). Didn't get periods on the contraception I was on so didn't know I was pregnant, I had a holiday and drank daily during that (not at other times) when I would have been 2 months (didn't know) and I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 3.5 months! I smoked throughout that time until I found out when I stopped.

I did worry quite a bit, about the pill, the alcohol (didn't drink loads but 3-5 drinks a day for around 10 days) and the smoking.

Fully healthy baby and now child. I don't actually know many people who didn't drink when they didn't know they were pregnant to be honest and none have encountered an issue.

Try to focus on something I really focus on now -
Can I change the past? No.
Will worrying about my past decisions make them change? No.
Will worrying about them make me feel good? No.
I need to let go to keep anxiety from my child where possible and surround them with positivity :)

I don't think much of anything passes to the baby until the placenta forms.

Please seek help with your general anxiety though.

OP, have you discussed these concerns with your partner? Is it in your budget to get therapy privately? You can use https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/ to find someone who would be able to support you. This is how I found my therapist for pregnancy anxiety, you can find therapists specialising in pregnancy.