No kids or babies in scans?

Toria33 · 2023-09-15T15:39:58+00:00

So they have booked me for some insanely early appointments 8.30 and my last pregnancy was high risk so i had hospital scans and dr appointments and midwife’s appointments all on different days, so the amount of time i would have to leave my 7 month old is insane, dose anyone know why this is? he is an insanely quite baby so not likely to distract and i would only leave him with my mum who is an hour away and can’t do the day the second scan is booked for.. I can’t drive and my husband wants to be there, so not sure what to do.

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LunaLoveFood · 15/09/2023 16:42

It's because it's a medical procedure. If something is wrong, the medics do nit want to have to discuss options etc with children in the room or the parents being distracted by having to care for babies etc.

hdbs17 · 15/09/2023 16:45

Can you change the day of the scan?

I've had to pull my child out of school early in order to get to my scans because I only have one option for childcare and my scans and clinic are always between 2-5 on a certain day.

I understand why no children are allowed however, and if something were to go wrong in a scan, no way would I want my child there.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/09/2023 16:46

You need to decide whether you'd rather your mum come and look after him, someone else look after him, or he stays with dh.

If there's a park local to the hospital dh could drop you off go take ds to the park, go for a coffee etc then you just ring when you are done. That way he is nearby so if you do get any stressful news he can be there as you leave the hospital.

FijiSea · 15/09/2023 16:48

It’s in case you get upsetting news , or they have to discuss serious issues.
It happened to us and we were taken to a side room after the scan and were at the hospital for hours and extremely upset , dealing with explanations from consultants etc.
No way would this have been possible with another DC with us.
You will need to change the date or time of scan or book childcare / nursery slot etc.

emma1103 · 15/09/2023 16:49

Sadly scans aren't always happy, I've been on the receiving end of bad news in a scan and there's no way I would have wanted to have to parent my child in that moment. Neither would I want my child to have seen how distraught I was.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 15/09/2023 16:49

Your husband will have to wqit in the waiting room while you are having the scan, if your mum isn't around

Original poster

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 16:57

After being forced to miscarry my twins in lockdown alone I’m finding this a bit stupid, if i had bad news i would personally rather my husband and baby who is too young to absorb anything there surely it should be my choice. I have a major fear of doing the scans alone, or really doing any of the appointments alone. They have made it a general ban on all maternity appointments in my local hospital and i just think it’s really impractical. Midwives and all

OP posts:

FijiSea · 15/09/2023 17:01

But you can be there for hours if there are any unfortunate scan results.
The consultants take you aside and bring other nurses and colleagues in to explain the seriousness of the results of the scan.
Its a serious and sad moment .
If you have a baby with you it’s a distraction for them trying to do their jobs.
Even if it’s a normal positive result scan , the scanning nurse needs quiet and calm to safely record all measurements.
The rules are there for a reason.
It’s an important professional appointment.

FrogInASock · 15/09/2023 17:03

It’s not only about your feelings. I worked in the complaints department of an IVF clinic. The volume of bad news was quite high. Whilst you might be getting ok news with your delightful baby on your lap, other parents might be going through something awful and being confronted by happy families in a waiting room featured frequently in complaints and “suggestions” on providing sensitive spaces for grieving mothers.

hdbs17 · 15/09/2023 17:10

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 16:57

After being forced to miscarry my twins in lockdown alone I’m finding this a bit stupid, if i had bad news i would personally rather my husband and baby who is too young to absorb anything there surely it should be my choice. I have a major fear of doing the scans alone, or really doing any of the appointments alone. They have made it a general ban on all maternity appointments in my local hospital and i just think it’s really impractical. Midwives and all

It's actually very practical.

I had a scan that told me I was having a molar pregnancy. I was then told that chemotherapy may be needed. Imagine thinking you're having a baby and just experiencing implantation bleeding to then being told you have something that can develop into cancer...

Yeh, I'm happy my child wasn't with me to hear my screams.

caringcarer · 15/09/2023 17:16

Why can't your DH sit outside with DC?

Barbiesback · 15/09/2023 17:22

There has to be one rule, its not just one rule based on you and your quiet baby.

I absolutely know why there is a no kids policy in certain departments or set times because quite frankly its absolutely hell and not fair on others..

PikachuEars · 15/09/2023 17:36

At our hospital I think the policy was children weren’t allowed during the start of 12 and 20 week scans but were allowed in once initial checks had been made - both to allow the staff to focus and in case of bad news. They were however allowed throughout subsequent routine growth scans (of which I had many). At 12 and 20 weeks DH had to wait outside with DS and was invited back in. Seemed like a reasonable compromise.

Popcorn640 · 15/09/2023 17:39

8.30 is the start of the working day - hardly an unreasonable time for appointments!
Also please stop referring to everything as "insane" it's quite offensive.

EL8888 · 15/09/2023 17:39

FrogInASock · 15/09/2023 17:03

It’s not only about your feelings. I worked in the complaints department of an IVF clinic. The volume of bad news was quite high. Whilst you might be getting ok news with your delightful baby on your lap, other parents might be going through something awful and being confronted by happy families in a waiting room featured frequently in complaints and “suggestions” on providing sensitive spaces for grieving mothers.

Edited

Err this. You might be going to a scan to get some lovely news and cute pictures. Other people aren’t and often get bad news at scan appointments which isn’t helped by the happy family / family day out vibe

Plus the departments are so busy then there barely room for prams, babies, children etc

Gurthnamuckla · 15/09/2023 17:41

FrogInASock · 15/09/2023 17:03

It’s not only about your feelings. I worked in the complaints department of an IVF clinic. The volume of bad news was quite high. Whilst you might be getting ok news with your delightful baby on your lap, other parents might be going through something awful and being confronted by happy families in a waiting room featured frequently in complaints and “suggestions” on providing sensitive spaces for grieving mothers.

Edited

This.

Iwouldlikesomecake · 15/09/2023 17:47

Sonography is a really fine art. You’re measuring something on a screen that looks really straightforward but it’s magnified to such an extent that a pixel click can make the difference between a normal or an abnormal finding. Midwife appointments- they have to pack so much in, it’s really hard to do it with children present and maybe yours is quiet but a lot of them aren’t.

We allow children in exceptional circumstances (single parent with no childcare etc) but not just because the partner wants to be there as well. Our waiting room is also minuscule.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/09/2023 18:31

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 16:57

After being forced to miscarry my twins in lockdown alone I’m finding this a bit stupid, if i had bad news i would personally rather my husband and baby who is too young to absorb anything there surely it should be my choice. I have a major fear of doing the scans alone, or really doing any of the appointments alone. They have made it a general ban on all maternity appointments in my local hospital and i just think it’s really impractical. Midwives and all

Thems the rules.

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/09/2023 18:39

I always assumed it's for two reasons. The main reason is because scans are a medical procedure, not a family day out and the second reason is because the person in the next room might have just received devastating news and the last thing they will want to see coming out of that appointment is a baby.

LolaSmiles · 15/09/2023 18:45

I always assumed it's for two reasons. The main reason is because scans are a medical procedure, not a family day out and the second reason is because the person in the next room might have just received devastating news and the last thing they will want to see coming out of that appointment is a baby
Same here.
I feel the same when people talk about wanting their partners and children for the 'gender scan' instead of the pregnant woman has a 20 week scan to check on hers and baby's health and development.

JoyApple · 15/09/2023 19:06

It's very difficult practically to have to leave your young child with others, especially if you are having growth scans every 3 weeks. DH is at work and can't keep taking off. If I had a young child I would have no choice but to refuse growth scans as the wait takes half a day.

HaPPy8 · 15/09/2023 19:10

They need to be able to concentrate. It’s a technical and skilled examination.

SquigglePigs · 15/09/2023 19:16

I'm surprised everyone is being so unsympathetic. When I was pregnant in 2018 there were often babies in pushchairs in the waiting rooms at appointments, and you could tell when it was the school holidays because older kids would be there too. To be honest it was nice having the distraction of a random kid to pull faces at during the endless waiting around!!

Not everyone has childcare and a full on ban is a bit much. A recommendation that it would be best not to bring other children is fair enough but a ban means some people will simply skip important scans because they can't get childcare.

thisone6 · 15/09/2023 19:25

I'v had bad news at scans and personally don't see the issue with taking a 7 month old baby who can't understand anything. Plenty of people don't have childcare readily available.

Op, I'd ring your hospital and explain your situation. My hospital allows babies/children in providing they're well behaved. I once went prepared for my older ones to sit in the waiting room and they were invited in.

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/09/2023 19:28

SquigglePigs · 15/09/2023 19:16

I'm surprised everyone is being so unsympathetic. When I was pregnant in 2018 there were often babies in pushchairs in the waiting rooms at appointments, and you could tell when it was the school holidays because older kids would be there too. To be honest it was nice having the distraction of a random kid to pull faces at during the endless waiting around!!

Not everyone has childcare and a full on ban is a bit much. A recommendation that it would be best not to bring other children is fair enough but a ban means some people will simply skip important scans because they can't get childcare.

It was nice because you clearly didn't receive any devastating news. I do think it is right to protect those who are going through the worst time of their lives and that babies/toddlers etc are not appropriate at scans.

If childcare isn't available, it isn't ideal but then the father should stay at home with the kids instead of everyone going to the scan. Not just for the reason above but how small those rooms usually are, as well as how distracting it could be.