Page 2 | No kids or babies in scans?

Toria33 · 2023-09-15T15:39:58+00:00

So they have booked me for some insanely early appointments 8.30 and my last pregnancy was high risk so i had hospital scans and dr appointments and midwife’s appointments all on different days, so the amount of time i would have to leave my 7 month old is insane, dose anyone know why this is? he is an insanely quite baby so not likely to distract and i would only leave him with my mum who is an hour away and can’t do the day the second scan is booked for.. I can’t drive and my husband wants to be there, so not sure what to do.

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Oliotya · 15/09/2023 19:32

No kids allowed for any of my scans. It's for the sake of the medical professionals, for your sake and for the sake of other patients. You either leave you baby with someone else, or go without your husband. It's not complicated and your circumstances are far from unique.

GeorgeBeckett · 15/09/2023 19:35

Have you been yet? Our hospital says it has this policy on the letters but when you actually go
there are a few kids there, presumably for reasons similar to yours.

Throwncrumbs · 15/09/2023 19:37

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 16:57

After being forced to miscarry my twins in lockdown alone I’m finding this a bit stupid, if i had bad news i would personally rather my husband and baby who is too young to absorb anything there surely it should be my choice. I have a major fear of doing the scans alone, or really doing any of the appointments alone. They have made it a general ban on all maternity appointments in my local hospital and i just think it’s really impractical. Midwives and all

This is sad but it’s to stop everyone turning up with babies, toddlers and young children. It is really chaotic when this happens, causes delays and is far too noisy in a hospital department. One rule for all I’m afraid, if you allow one , you end up allowing all.

Isthisexpected · 15/09/2023 19:37

So sorry you went through this heartbreak. In my local I arranged childcare at great stress only to find loads of kids in the waiting area who then went in with their parents not just parent. Despite a big sign and it being on the letters. So go figure.

Absc · 15/09/2023 19:43

My trust allows children in the growth scans but only if they are done with the midwife. I had appointments fortnightly from week four of pregnancy until 36 weeks. My son attended all my consultant appointments and the growth scans. However he didn’t come to the 12 or 20 week scan or the fmu heart scan. If parents went with children the other adult had to wait outside the room with the child.

BBno4 · 15/09/2023 19:46

Its new since covid, as I brought my baby to my second pregnancy scan in 2010.

I had a scan 2 days ago and there was a women with a baby in the buggy sleeping. The receptionist told her 10 before her appointment that she would have to phone someone to collect the chikd or her appointment will be cancelled.

I offered to look after her chikd whilst she went in and she agreed, we both had 10.30 appointment and I asked the receptionist if she could get her to go in 1st. She said yes she would tell the sonographer.

10 minutes later I was called in 1st even though I arrived way after her. I had to apologise and go in. When I came out she wasn't there.

I dont know if she was seen on a differnt room or if she had to reschedule.

FirstFallopians · 15/09/2023 19:47

Throwncrumbs · 15/09/2023 19:37

This is sad but it’s to stop everyone turning up with babies, toddlers and young children. It is really chaotic when this happens, causes delays and is far too noisy in a hospital department. One rule for all I’m afraid, if you allow one , you end up allowing all.

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Yes, this.

There’s the important factors of considering other women who have just got bad news, the complication for HCPs trying to counsel a mother who is still in “parent mode” as she has her young child with her.

But also because there are some people who treat a mundane pregnancy appointment as a family day out, bringing dad, granny, granda and a gaggle of kids with them, taking up seating in the busy waiting area while pregnant women have to stand. The kids (understandably really) run mad, bored out of their tree. There will always be people who take the piss.

So yeah, there’s multiple reasons why I can see why the hospital just make it a blanket ban.

Switcher · 15/09/2023 19:49

I had my other kids at my scans. Nobody minded. They were just placenta scans though so bad news more about whether it was a c section.

Mrburnshound · 15/09/2023 19:50

Pre covid i brought a 12-18 month old to various appointments, nobody mentioned anything about it. If i could source childcare he didnt come but sometimes it wasnt an option

Original poster

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 19:56

There were even last year when i was pregnant with my first might i point out. I have had lots of bad news idk why people are going on about my baby being fine i have lost 8 in 7 pregnancies prior to DS. He is a comfort to me his existence is soothing after so much bad
as i said ealier i had a scan were i lost not one but two babies, i have a right to my opinion of wanting my loving mini unit around me. There were sure lots of kids around all my appointments last year

OP posts:

thisone6 · 15/09/2023 20:04

@Toria33 I'm sorry for your losses. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy

Original poster

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 20:06

thisone6 · 15/09/2023 19:25

I'v had bad news at scans and personally don't see the issue with taking a 7 month old baby who can't understand anything. Plenty of people don't have childcare readily available.

Op, I'd ring your hospital and explain your situation. My hospital allows babies/children in providing they're well behaved. I once went prepared for my older ones to sit in the waiting room and they were invited in.

I will double check with them on Monday, mum is having big problems doing any Mondays and all my scans are Mondays

OP posts:

Original poster

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 20:07

thisone6 · 15/09/2023 20:04

@Toria33 I'm sorry for your losses. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy

Thank you so much

OP posts:

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/09/2023 20:09

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 19:56

There were even last year when i was pregnant with my first might i point out. I have had lots of bad news idk why people are going on about my baby being fine i have lost 8 in 7 pregnancies prior to DS. He is a comfort to me his existence is soothing after so much bad
as i said ealier i had a scan were i lost not one but two babies, i have a right to my opinion of wanting my loving mini unit around me. There were sure lots of kids around all my appointments last year

I'm sorry for your losses.

It isn't just about you though, some people really wouldn't want a baby to be the first thing they see after receiving bad news. It's also about space, concentration etc your baby might be quiet but the next baby likely isn't going to be.

Maybe the hospital have changed their policy since last year.

GoryBory · 15/09/2023 20:14

Ring to see if you can change the appointment to a day your mum can do.

If not then explain you’d like your DH there but have no one to look after your baby.

If he’s not allowed in then he can just wait outside the room and he may be able to pop his head round for a quick look.

Of course the scans are a big deal for parents but they’re there to check the health of the baby and so they don’t have to let partners in.

Original poster

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 20:20

GoryBory · 15/09/2023 20:14

Ring to see if you can change the appointment to a day your mum can do.

If not then explain you’d like your DH there but have no one to look after your baby.

If he’s not allowed in then he can just wait outside the room and he may be able to pop his head round for a quick look.

Of course the scans are a big deal for parents but they’re there to check the health of the baby and so they don’t have to let partners in.

Not about it being a big deal its about the losses i have experienced and the hospital forcing me to go through it alone, i doubt i could go in at all by myself

jut wanted to mention epu is in a separate part and all people in the area are over 12 weeks so although there will be a few bad news its not the 80% of them. I do kinda get it i just don’t trust my DS with anyone but my mother and its going to be very difficult to sort at all and frankly i don’t want to miss hundreds of hours of my sons life

OP posts:

Hollyppp · 15/09/2023 20:22

Barbiesback · 15/09/2023 17:22

There has to be one rule, its not just one rule based on you and your quiet baby.

I absolutely know why there is a no kids policy in certain departments or set times because quite frankly its absolutely hell and not fair on others..

This

Hollyppp · 15/09/2023 20:23

Have you got any friends (eg mum friends) that can look after your child for 30 mins while you go for scan?
thays what I did for scan 1
and for scan 2 husband just looked after our toddler and I went alone

Hollyppp · 15/09/2023 20:24

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 20:20

Not about it being a big deal its about the losses i have experienced and the hospital forcing me to go through it alone, i doubt i could go in at all by myself

jut wanted to mention epu is in a separate part and all people in the area are over 12 weeks so although there will be a few bad news its not the 80% of them. I do kinda get it i just don’t trust my DS with anyone but my mother and its going to be very difficult to sort at all and frankly i don’t want to miss hundreds of hours of my sons life

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Why would you be missing hundreds of hours of your sons life?

Oliotya · 15/09/2023 20:26

Toria33 · 15/09/2023 20:20

Not about it being a big deal its about the losses i have experienced and the hospital forcing me to go through it alone, i doubt i could go in at all by myself

jut wanted to mention epu is in a separate part and all people in the area are over 12 weeks so although there will be a few bad news its not the 80% of them. I do kinda get it i just don’t trust my DS with anyone but my mother and its going to be very difficult to sort at all and frankly i don’t want to miss hundreds of hours of my sons life

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They're not forcing you to go through it alone. They're forcing you to arrange childcare. Those are the choices we have to make as parents of more than 1 child. Get used to it. I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but it's not just about you.

Clefable · 15/09/2023 20:27

I just went without my husband for scan days when DD1 wasn't at nursery. We don't have any family here so couldn't leave with a grandparent. I have to say it did feel a bit less important him being there for the scans for a second baby. We got a private scan that we all went to, DD1 included, to learn baby's sex, so that was nice enough that I didn't really mind about the others.

Clefable · 15/09/2023 20:28

Also I doubt it will be hundreds of hours. You're having two babies very close together so unfortunately the time you spend with your first one will be limited in many ways as a result, that's just how it works.

Clefable · 15/09/2023 20:30

Oh I did bring DD1 to a midwife appointment as DH had an emergency work call-out at the last minute. But she just sat and coloured in and laughed when I got an injection in my bottom I think scans are different though because they're in a totally different setting and the kind of place people get bad news (as well you know), especially when your baby is very young.

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/09/2023 20:31

Clefable · 15/09/2023 20:28

Also I doubt it will be hundreds of hours. You're having two babies very close together so unfortunately the time you spend with your first one will be limited in many ways as a result, that's just how it works.

Exactly. I have a 9 month old and I'm pregnant again and it just is what it is when you're pregnant and have appointments to juggle with a baby.

It's also hardly going to be quality time together dragging a baby to a scan when OP will be distracted by the scan, any information they need to tell her etc.

GoryBory · 15/09/2023 20:31

and frankly i don’t want to miss hundreds of hours of my sons life

You won’t be missing hundreds of hours of your child’s life and he gets to see his grandma which kids love.
There’s no need for the dramatics.

Some people have like 4 kids and imagine a tiny room with the sonographer, partner and 4 kids. So it’s easier to just say no children.

I would ring and explain as a 7 month isn’t going to take up much space but they might say no and if they say yes and he starts crying or something then you need to be prepared for your DH to leave with him.