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Original poster

MIL telling me not to buy baby clothes? What should I do?

208 replies

Mummatobe98 · 12/09/2023 14:55

She keeps telling my partner and I that we shouldn't buy any stuff for baby as we will have stuff given to us from other people. It will be a great help having items from other people as babies grow so fast. But it would also be nice to have a few items that DP and I have chosen for our baby. I have bought three clothing items so far and every single time shes seen it she tells me not to.

I feel like buying baby stuff is a bonding process to
How would you feel and deal with this?

OP posts:
D1Yer · 12/09/2023 14:57

Why do you care what she thinks? It's your money, spend it how you like and ignore her

Aquamarine1029 · 12/09/2023 14:57

Nicely, yet firmly, tell your MIL that you will buy your baby whatever you decide to, and no further discussion is needed on the matter.

You'd be wise to start managing her expectations sharpish.

gawditswindy · 12/09/2023 14:57

Don't show it to her or tell her.

DuploTrain · 12/09/2023 14:58

Ignore her, don’t tell her what you’ve bought, and enjoy buying whatever you like for your baby.

IncompleteSenten · 12/09/2023 14:58

I'd buy whatever the fuck I wanted to is how I'd deal with it.

mycoffeecup · 12/09/2023 14:58

I bought a couple of packs of newborn stuff at the end of pregnancy and kept the receipt in case I didn't need them. But obviously it's none of her business and you do whatever you want.

GigiAnnna · 12/09/2023 14:58

Just buy clothes, what does it matter what she thinks?

Devilsmommy · 12/09/2023 14:59

You go buy whatever you want. I loved buying baby clothes and still love it now for my 1 year old

Vivi0 · 12/09/2023 14:59

I’d be telling your MIL that you’ll be buying what you want, when you want and that she should mind her own fucking business.

PinkPink1 · 12/09/2023 15:00

I was gifted a lot of newborn/0-3 months vests, sleepsuits and socks so I didn't have to buy any. I bought some outfits but, again, I was gifted some.

StoneWitch · 12/09/2023 15:01

Ignore her and do what you want.

Superfood · 12/09/2023 15:01

I didn't buy anything while I was pregnant because it felt like tempting fate, and I was moving house (with my first child).

Got given absolutely tons of stuff. Don't think i bought anything until she was about 6 months old. It was great.

TokyoSushi · 12/09/2023 15:02

How odd! I assume you're paying for it? Buy what you want!

Foggyfoggyfoggy · 12/09/2023 15:02

This is the perfect time to start showing her your boundaries... Buy whatever you want... And no need to hide them. Tell mil you can buy whatever you want. Do you work? Is she implying you are spending her ds's money?

Wanttobekind · 12/09/2023 15:03

Buy whatever you want for YOUR baby and tell your mil to odfod.

Doodledeedum · 12/09/2023 15:03

You buy what ever you want, your baby your life. Might be good to set a boundary from this small thing, goodness knows how much she may want to 'dictate' in future

And as much people can be extremely generous... I had this with my baby. Sometimes you just don't like the way somethings look on your baby OR you see things you love that you just have to buy!

MargotBamborough · 12/09/2023 15:05

Ignore her and do what makes you happy.

You will most likely be given lots of things. That doesn't mean you shouldn't also choose a few things for your baby if it brings you pleasure.

DameEtna · 12/09/2023 15:05

Is your mil usually so opinionated and bossy? If she is, now's the time for you and your partner to start setting some boundaries and expectations with her - she will only get worse when baby's here!

Tell her that you will be buying things you like for your baby because you want to - and the matter is now closed.

Cosmosforbreakfast · 12/09/2023 15:05

Your MIL is not in charge of you. You buy whatever you want to buy. Let her know that too or else she'll think she can keep dictating to you. Boundaries are best put in place sooner than later.

JamiesTurkeyTwizzler · 12/09/2023 15:05

Is she a frugal person? She's probably trying to save you money but going too far. Enjoy buying some items and tell her you'll be grateful for whatever is given but want to have some things you've chosen yourself.

Buying clothes for your baby is so special. When my ds was born there was a little branch of mothercare in the maternity unit. I waddled down and bought him an outfit and still have it in his baby box 28 years later. It's a treasured memory.

mummylove24 · 12/09/2023 15:07

I’m sure MIL means well, but you should buy your own baby’s clothes, personally I don’t buy baby clothes for relatives/friends without asking what they need first, they nearly always say nappies and wipes cos they have enough clothes! 😂

DisforDarkChocolate · 12/09/2023 15:07

She's right that people will buy your baby clothes. Didn't stop me from buying all my babies some first-size clothes because it's such a lovely feeling getting these things ready.

Ignore her and enjoy getting ready for your baby. I'd start telling her a lot less if she's going to be so judgemental over something most mothers really enjoy.

CaptainMyCaptain · 12/09/2023 15:08

D1Yer · 12/09/2023 14:57

Why do you care what she thinks? It's your money, spend it how you like and ignore her

This. Just buy what you want.

JC89 · 12/09/2023 15:09

You might be given lots, but you won't know what until you are given it, which may not be until some time after the baby is born. You will need some clothes immediately! While they don't fit into their clothes for long, babies can get through a lot (there were times when DS would be in the same clothes for 24 hours but he would often need multiple changes in a day) Get things you particularly like, and get some basics (vests, sleep suits). PP's suggestion of keeping the receipts is a good one - if it turns out you don't need everything you can always return the extras.

huff123 · 12/09/2023 15:11

Ignore what she says and tell her that you'll buy as much or as little baby clothing as you wish.