Due April/May after loss - thread 2 🌈🌈

[IWillBeWaxingAnOwl]

Oh no! Our original thread has filled up to the brim.

Join us here if you are expecting a little one in April or May 2023 after a previous miscarriage or pregnancy loss 🌈.

Xox

@Blue2020 I'd say mine is similar. I barely feel movement in the middle of the day. I assume thats because I'm distracted by being busy at work during the day. Also, not sure if this is true but I heard that the babies are more likely to be sleeping during the day because they are put to sleep by all your movement and walking around. Hope you feel better soon.

@i83 sorry to hear that there are more nerves! I hate the waiting part.

@Blue2020 I'm exactly the same, if I haven't felt something in the last, like, hour, I get worried something's gone wrong. My days just swing between mild anxiety and mild delight depending on whether they're moving. 🤷‍♀️ Fortunately they're a jumpy little thing so they do move a lot, but they're much more quiet in the afternoon so that is definitely peak anxious time.

@i83 I've seen lots of stories if women who were told baby was measuring small and it was either just totally fine and they were a small baby, or the scans were inaccurate and they came out bigger. Fx for it to be one of those! At least you know it's being watched closely now.

@i83 I really hope that next scan shows good development and it's a good thing that they will give more oversight to check into this.

@Blue2020 me too! It feels like a lot of responsibility doesn't it? My little one has been super active Tues/wed/thurs this week then much quieter the last two days but I do still feel them. Again, when does reduction in movement become a worry?! So hard to say.

I have now started to feel more movement over the last few days. It’s like he’s gone from only moving in the morning and evening, to moving several times a day. Maybe it’s just running out of space or that he’s bigger so I feel minor movements.

I’m now at 30weeks. Not sure how I’ve reached this stage! I spent weeks 6-24 trying to set my expectations incase it didn’t work out. Now I’m slowly starting to buy things and get more attached to the little one. I really hope it works out, I know the odds are great for all of us, I just think a small part of me won’t believe it until he’s here and ok.

So has anyone thought about labour? I’ve been ignoring any thoughts about it until recently but now I suppose I need to?

@Blue2020 a friend of mine is 15 weeks and has done all this hypnobirthing and read lots of books. I'm almost 28 weeks and haven't look directly at any of that yet! I had been feeling better about things and then he was super quiet on Saturday and I freaked out. Almost went in for reduced movements but then he was back to his usual busy self on Sunday.

It gave me a shock, I won't lie. I'd gradually been feeling like it all could go well, and now I'm back to worrying that there's still a mountain to climb to even get to labour...

I think hypnobirthing is meant to be broadly good for the fear and anxiety too, so I might start to focus on that!

How is everyone else? X

I still can't think about the birth as every appointment makes it seem I won't get the birth I want so I'm just pretending it isn't happening.

I keep switching from feeling like it's too early to buy stuff to panicking that there's only 13 weeks to go (although it's more like 11 based on the consultants).

I'm in another bump group on a different site and they are all buying prams and stuff and I just don't feel ready for any of it but it's coming round quickly and I know I need to pull my finger out. I genuinely think I'll be at the shops buying baby clothes on my way to give birth.

I gave work notice of my mat leave start date last week and I just felt like a fraud

I’m currently 30 weeks and although I know every week that goes by is a week closer to baby and the percentage of anything happening goes down - but I’m struggling.

I’m currently signed off at the moment from work and I feel like I’ve let me and baby down.

I must admit we have bought a lot for baby - but it’s currently sitting in bags or at my parents house and I’m refusing to do the nursery until he’s actually born.

People look at me shocked when I say I haven’t done the nursery, or got the hospital bags ready. To be honest I didn’t even think you had to do your bags until you were closer to term - has anyone done theirs yet?

We are all pretty much on the home stretch now to meeting our babies - we have done 75% of the pregnancy and the worries and I know we can all get through the rest!

@MRSDoos I have not done the bags nor thought about them, not bought all the things we will need, not done a nursery (29wks here). The nursery in particular - they don't even use for the first while!

I am struggling a bit too, esp with coping with work, which is super stressful atm. I'm sorry to hear you are off but you are definitely not alone coping wise!

@MRSDoos you haven't let the baby down at all. You've done the baby proud. Any one of us could have given up after the pain of a loss. But instead here you are battling through the worry and pain to build your family. You should be proud of yourself. I'm proud of us all.

You'll barely use the nursery for at least 6 months. It's just somewhere to store stuff and change the odd nappy for quite a while so no need to be worried about it xxx

How is everyone going? I've had a weird few days. Baby is more active than ever, but I'm feeling weirdly disconnected from the whole thing again. Maybe because I haven't had a scan for 11 weeks? But I don't necessarily want another scan because it feels like more info right now might just be unnecessarily stressful, it seems like a lot of people get info at post-20 wk scans that just introduces uncertainty then everything's fine...

31 wk midwife appointment this week, and five weeks until I go on mat leave, all being well.

I've had COVID this past week as well. So far it has - touch wood - been fairly mild for me, really just a very grotty head cold, and the baby has taken the opportunity of me being laid up to practice their somersaults. But I'm glad I got the booster in October, as I'm sure it contributed to the mildness of the symptoms. The internet is very scary about getting COVID in tri 3. The silver lining is that having got it I may pass some immunity onto the baby so 🤷‍♀️.

How is everyone else doing?

@Melusina123 I have my 31 week midwife appointment tomorrow. I’ve been struggling with the fact I’m getting further along - I keep panicking more by the day that something will go wrong (which logically doesn’t make any sense)

Sorry to hear you have been unwell with covid xx

We decided to have a scan a few weeks ago at 27 weeks only because it was a 4D scan and we wanted to see babies face. My friend recommended it and I quite enjoyed the experience. Scans are still scary for me before hand as I always worry they’ll pick something up (are you having a 35/36 NHS scan?) and I keep worrying my 35 week scan will show something wrong with baby or placenta. But the fact I feel movements makes me worry less.

hope everyone else is doing well x

@Melusina123 I have the 31week appointment today.

@MRSDoos theres a 35/36week nhs scan? Is that in certain parts of the country or for a certain reason? I have one next week for the placenta position, but that’s to see if it’s moved from the cervix.

I can feel movements more frequently over the past week or so. It’s helping to calm my anxiety. I still have moments wondering if everything is ok.

Does everyone sleep on their left side all night? I find my hip and leg starts to hurt by 3-4am and I then need to alternate with a short sleep on my right side. I just hope that’s ok.

@MRSDoos no more routine scans for me now; next time I see baby may be when they emerge...! Which is a very odd thought. We haven't booked any more private scans and I'm disinclined to do so. I see the appeal of the 4D scans, though! I'm also struggling as I get further along ☹️. Once I was "out" to colleagues, etc, and we started buying things it was a different kind of struggle, but it's just always there.

@Blue2020 NHS guidance is just to sleep on your side, no preference for right or left. I know other websites say prefer left, but this seems to be based on much scantier evidence than the advice to avoid sleeping on your back. I tend to alternate sides, with a skew towards the left side.

@Melusina123 ah ok it’s good to know. I feel guilty sleeping on the right side but I have to break it up.

I just had the midwife appointment, my urine had traces of protein or whichever one it is for the uti. However I don’t have the burning/pain when peeing, so they have just said if I get any symptoms to drop another sample in for them to send that off. Is that normal? I suppose it could be very mild and go on its own.

@Blue2020 I was going to ask if you had your scan re placenta! I'm 29 weeks, so a few more to go before I have mine at 32 weeks to check if it's moved. However at the midwife appt last week it took her ages to find the heartbeat (that was really fun for both of us) and she thinks it was because the placenta is so low down she had to come at it from the top (also he is very busy in there so hard to pin down).

So I don't know if that bodes very well on it moving in time, we shall see in a few weeks!

I also have a 36 week scan, in my hospital it's routine for first time pregnancies (not that this is my first if you know what I mean) but not for any after that I think.

@MO22 my scan is next Monday to check the location. I will be 32 weeks on Saturday.

Oh I know what you mean, my usual midwife is on holiday so I had someone new for the 31week apt. It took her a while to find his heartbeat. Usually I hear it within seconds but not yesterday it felt like a while, she did start really low though. Also said it was 125 which is the lowest it’s been in an appointment. It’s always been 145-155, but she said it’s still in the normal range.

He’s also been quiet yesterday, the odd gentle occasional movement but no kicking or frequent forceful movements. I’m not sure how to get through 9 weeks of wondering if it was enough movement that day or if I need to call the hospital. Honestly I didn’t think pregnancy would be worrying the whole time.

Had my 28wk growth scan yesterday. Ds is weighing 2lb 15oz atm and was breech. If he's big after my 32wk scan I'll be getting induced at 38wks. Currently back in hospital for my gtt which the drink wasn't actually too bad. Like a capri sun. Hope it comes back that I'm diabetes free

@Blue2020 Yes 35/36 week scan is routine in hospitals near me. They just check over the placenta and babies health. Apparently it is something they’ve only just brought in the last year or two. I always thought NHS was just 12 and 20 week but was told about this new 35 week at my first 8 week booking in appointment!

Does anyone else pinch theirselves that they’ve made it to third trimester? I can’t believe I’m due in less than 9 weeks

@Blue2020 I also get pain around 3-4am! I sleep in my right side mostly because I cannot sleep on the left but I also still do short periods on my back because it relieves the pain a bit and then I roll back over. I read on Tommy's website that either side was ok and I tend to trust their advice.

I also think it's normal for the heartbeat to slow a bit as they get older.

@ArrrMeHearties I had my 28 week scan yesterday although I was 29+2 and the baby was 3lb 15 but they didn't say anything about him being big!! So weird how the advice varies.

I get scans every 4 weeks because of being older. I've also had to start injecting blood thinners again which I hate!

@MRSDoos ah we don’t have a standard 35/36 week scan where I am (West Yorkshire), we’ll this hospital doesn’t anyway.

I got concerned about the lack of movements. I had the occasional very minor movement but no kicks or usual regular movements for the past 1.5days. So I called the hospital and went in at midday. They use the Dawes redman criteria on a trace machine, like an ecg for the baby.

So far he hasn’t met the criteria three times. The US scan between the first two traces looked fine (even the sonographer said he was being a very quiet baby). The doctor said it would be a good idea to go in overnight and monitor since the trace wasn’t showing the typical acceleration/ decelerations. With the third trace this evening the midwives looked and they appeared to be happy with the trace, but it’s still not meeting the ‘gold standard’ criteria. The person opposite just used the same machine and met the criteria after 15 minutes. I’m having another in 2hrs time. I can feel more movements from him now, so I’m less worried compared to this afternoon.

@MO22 during the US the sonographer said my placenta has moved. About 4cm gap and enough that it’s away from the cervix now.

@Janefx40 its good to know that right side is ok too.

@Blue2020 if it helps, I've had tons of the CTGs at this stage (more challenging with twins) and failed to meet criteria every time apart from about twice because monitoring is harder when they're smaller. Generally, the doctors will take a view if baby still won't play ball after a little while!

I'm also West Yorkshire coincidentally!

@Blue2020 I'm sorry you've had the stress of little movement. They are taking you seriously at least so hopefully you are in the best place for any support if you need it.

Let us know how you get on!

So I got my results back and I do indeed have GD 😥waiting on a referral to the diabetic clinic. Coupled with the bad news dh got today its been one hell of a shitty day. Here's hoping tomorrow is better

So I was supposed to have my 31wk appointment today, got all the way to the hosp to discover it was tomorrow, and OH got the calendar hold wrong (he booked it while I got blood tests last time, he says he asked for the Weds as Thurs is bad but clearly wires got crossed somewhere).

Fine, except I have counselling for anxiety tomorrow at that time, and given everything missing counselling for the week doesn't seem like a good idea. But they said unless there's a cancellation the next available appointment is 29 March!!! My 34 week appointment is on 31 March so that is totally pointless. They've cancelled tomorrow and I keep wondering if that was a mistake, whether I should have missed counselling but it's really difficult to get those appointments and I've missed a few already due to illness.

I asked them if they were fine with me just not having a 31wk appointment since that's basically what we're talking about unless they fit me in, and they said they'd check with the midwife, but I haven't heard back so just left feeling upset and anxious about it. 😔