Due April/May after loss - thread 2 🌈🌈

[IWillBeWaxingAnOwl]

Oh no! Our original thread has filled up to the brim.

Join us here if you are expecting a little one in April or May 2023 after a previous miscarriage or pregnancy loss 🌈.

Xox

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl aww sorry to hear that. It's so stressful isn't it. I feel like I think about being pregnant 24/7 and it's really doing my head in. Do you have good support when it gets too much?

@ratherbthedevil How are you doing?

I am struggling with anxiety bad. I’m currently 26 weeks. The antenatal mental health team are starting me on talking therapy from next week which I’m hoping will help.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I can totally relate to this.

I can’t understand why I am getting more anxious the further I get - I genuinely thought I’d feel better.

I'm okay too. Just kind of going with the flow. 26wk midwife appointment on Friday, which went fine except they took ages to find the heartbeat because the tricky little bugger was laying transverse so heart was very much not where expected. I had felt them move half an hour earlier so was pretty sure things were ok, but it was still nerve-wracking for a bit there...

Im feeling horribly anxious this week. Currently lying in bed in the middle of the night stressing about movement.

@MRSDoos I'm ok thanks. It's coming up to a year since our daughter died and at a similar gestation so it's just a bit of a weird time. But overall I'm ok and slowly starting to feel a bit more positive about it all.

Hi everyone. Sorry about your daughter @ratherbthedevil these anniversaries can be so hard (as can every day!)

I still get anxious days about the pregnancy but today he's moved non stop which helps. A lot of my anxiety has now switched focus onto my living daughter which is odd. I'm having nightmares about something happening to her. I know it's all related to pregnancy anxiety. Has anyone else with living children experienced this?

I'm really breathless. It comes and goes but is very bizarre. I think maybe I was just very unfit coming into this pregnancy because I was basically too scared to move in case I lost the baby. I'm sure that hasn't helped!

Love to everyone x

@Janefx40 yes I know the feeling with living children. When we lost our daughter I was sooo worried about my son, there were nights I just wanted to sit and watch him all night in case something happened. It's getting easier but I cannot think about anything happening to him or hear stories of anything happening to children of similar age. I was a nightmare when the StrepA stuff was in the news before Christmas.

@Janefx40 yes! The other night I put my boy to bed then went downstairs. When I went upstairs later I poked my head in the bathroom and saw that my husband had left the bath water in the tub. I was so scared to look and had a horrible image of my son iin the tub. I went to check on my son multiple times and held him while he was sleeping to reassure myself that he was ok. The image stuck in my mind for awhile though and I thought it was strange as I haven't had those thoughts for a long time.

@Anoushka1986 omg! That is exactly the fear I've been having! I had a nightmare about it but now I've told my DP to make sure he pulls the plug out after her bath (even tho she's never got out of bed anyway). It's really haunting me.

@ratherbthedevil after my miscarriage I posted something about this on a miscarriage FB site I was on and over 100 people responded! I guess it's common if not nice xxx

@ratherbthedevil im so sorry about your loss, that must have been so difficult.

@Janefx40 it's such a horrible image to have stuck in your mind! I hadn't connected the two (anxiety focussed on my first child due to anxiety about the baby). Makes sense.

I'm started to get pressure on my pubic bone and lower bump feels achy when I walk around. I had this with my first pregnancy but im sure it wasn't until much later so doesn't feel like a good sign considering im only 23 weeks. Does anyone else have this?

I think the reason I've been more anxious this week is because I had my midwife appointment on Monday and she said that from now on I need to be noticing changes in movement and that baby should now have an established pattern. Feels like so much responsibility to be the one to determine changes in movement when it's so hard to decipher.

@Anoushka1986 I'm sure I read somewhere that regular movements don't happen until 28 weeks but my midwife did ask yesterday if I had regular movements so maybe I'm wrong.

With my first I never ever noticed any regular movements. With this one I can tell if I'm at work then the movements are low down and then of an evening she's more of a kicker but kicks more some days than others. But I know what you mean about the responsibility.

@ratherbthedevil mine doesn’t have a fixed pattern yet. He’s quiet most of the day or very minor movements which makes me a bit anxious wondering if everything is ok. I usually feel reliable kicks somewhere between 7-11pm.

In the day I do feel an odd sensation sometimes. I half wonder if it’s him kicking or hitting my cervix? I can’t quite describe the feeling, it’s only a gentle feeling but it’s almost like a smear test, hence why I think it’s the cervix? I could be wrong and it’s just close by. Although I felt it since just after my scan and the placenta covers the cervix, so maybe it’s him kicking the placenta and that’s touching the cervix? Honestly I have no idea. I don’t like the sensation of it though. Has anyone felt anything like that? Maybe it’s unrelated to his movements.

Today is a strange day. I'm 24 weeks exactly and it was a Friday I had my tmfr with ds2. Tomorrow we find out the sex and finally tell ds1 about the baby. Sunday I'll be 24+2 and that's when ds2 was born but I think it will be Monday that's my strangest day as I'll be more pregnant than i got to with ds. I'm going to keep myself busy today and Monday as at least dh is off on the sunday

@Anoushka1986 its all so frustrating and stressful as I (25wks) was literally told by maternity assessment 2 days ago that they dont develop the brain area for movement patterns until 28wks and that if I feel them at any point in a day, thats fine.

I agree that 'reduced movement' etc puts a lot of pressure on mums emotionally and practically - who has time to lie still for an hour to see if they feel it?!

@Blue2020 mine has definitely kicked me in the cervix more than once.

I tripped over my DHs pile of stuff onto my hands and knees this morning (hard - have carpet burns on knees). Has anyone been given advice about this before? Cant find anything on NHS site.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl sorry your question has gone unanswered. I think it might be alright as it wasn't on your belly. Is baby moving ok?

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl hope you’re ok. I think it might be ok since your hands and knees took the brunt of the fall. However you could call up your midwife or the mau and check with them?

Is everyone managing ok with sleeping? My hip and leg really hurts when I sleep for too long on one side. By 4am I have to keep switching sides. I’m wondering if a memory foam pad of some sort would help my hip. I have a wedge pillow to keep me from sleeping on my back, but it doesn’t support my hip.

We found out yesterday that we are going to be having a boy 💙 I'm so excited. And ds was over the moon to find out he's going to finally be a big brother

Aww congratulations @ArrrMeHearties did you have a preference?

@Blue2020 being in bed is the only place I'm truly comfortable. I sleep with a pillow between my legs and it helps

I was hoping for another boy but after our loss I wouldn't of minded either tbh

@ratherbthedevil I have a wedge pillow to stop me sleeping on my back, I also now use a normal pillow between my legs. I still only manage until the early hours before they ache. We have a spare bedroom with a soft mattress so I might try that as the next option.

@ArrrMeHearties thats great, congratulations.

Hello, how is everyone doing?
I’m 28 weeks today - officially in third trimester. Still have anxiety but also feel a little bit excited, like in countdown mode until baby boy is here

Hi @MRSDoos 28 weeks seems like a great milestone! Glad you are feeling ok.

I am 26+3. Very breathless and tired today but mostly ok. Got panicked about lack of movement on Sunday and went in but all was well.

Hey everyone, I’m 29 weeks and was feeling really quite positive about everything (I have been quite distracted, as we’ve had a lot going on… some really good stuff and some heartbreaking stuff) but we went for a private scan on Sunday and the baby was measuring on the 8th centile so really quite small.
I had to go to be put on the monitor at the hospital and have a scan. They confirmed that the baby is measuring small so I’ve got to have another scan in 2 weeks.
Just as I was starting to relax!!! 😳

How is everyone doing?

Im starting to become anxious about movements, not even for today but just in general. I know if it’s out of the normal to contact the hospital, but I just keep getting thoughts that I haven’t felt movement in a while. That thought just appears throughout the days. I mostly only feel movement in the evening sometime between 7-11pm and some in the morning 7-9am otherwise it’s quiet. So it’s not out of the usual yet but I still have the thought. I’m waiting now hoping to feel movement this evening.

How is everyone else with movements?

@i83 sorry to hear that, I hope the next scan goes well. Can some babies just be on the small side? Did they explain anything? It could be worth talking to your midwife and asking any questions you might have?