Due April/May after loss - thread 2 🌈🌈

[IWillBeWaxingAnOwl]

Oh no! Our original thread has filled up to the brim.

Join us here if you are expecting a little one in April or May 2023 after a previous miscarriage or pregnancy loss 🌈.

Xox

@northerngal20 sorry to hear about the growth worries!

@MRSDoos I'm with you, baby is so blooming quiet this evening, but I find it really hard as had a super busy day so may just not have felt them due to that. It also promotes me eating sugar to try to make them move. I also have no friends who have experienced pregnancy after loss and so know they struggle to relate to my level of anxiety.

@Blue2020 Our next midwife appt isn't until 28wks - just feels like a huuuge gap to have no oversight. They have said they will retest iron then but not mentioned stopping it.

@ratherbthedevil @ArrrMeHearties we are past the timeline of previous loss but because it remains totally unexplained I just constantly feel like "what if whatever happened then happens now". I'm concerned I could literally be at the mat unit every day if I let myself @ratherbthedevil

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I know what you mean, I really have to rein myself in from contacting my midwife over every little niggle.

After saying I was feeling good yesterday I'm now feeling same , very anxious night last night. I didn't get much movement yesterday and woke in the night and kept staying awake trying to feel movement. Feeling very highly strung right now.

I find it helpful sometimes to record when I feel movement. Just did it then and realised there is more movement than I thought.

@ratherbthedevil I'd like another boy but I have a suspicion that I will be cutting into a pink coloured cake lol. Tbf so long as baby is healthy then I'm not fussed neither is dh. When I've asked ds1 if ds2 sent us a baby would you like a boy baby or a girl baby and he always said girl so we shall see

Hospital checked over little one yesterday and guess what… he started kicking the moment we got there! Typical, but very relieved. This is my first time in second trimester so I wasn’t aware, but midwife said it’s very normal to have quiet days especially before 28 weeks. I do not regret getting checked out though!

I’ve pretty much accepted that I’m going to have anxiety for the next 3-4 months until he is here

I woke up around 5am today and got a bit stressed because usually I get a kick right around when I wake up and roll over, but I didn't feel anything for a while. Changed sides and... I think the little bub had hiccoughs!! 😂😭Just felt a rhythmic blip, slower than my heartbeat, with occasional wiggles, on the side of my stomach.

I think they're definitely not legs out today as movements have been more gentle, but still there and quite frequent, so I'm trying not to worry.

It is definitely near constant low level stress punctuated by moments of delight (like movement I can see on my stomach, big kicks, hiccoughs, etc) for me.

Finally had my anomaly scan on Monday, all was looking normal and fine and apparently we're expecting a little girl! ❤️

I think that makes me unusual in this thread which seems to be mostly boys, haha, but a girl was what my DH was hoping for (I'm not sure I had a preference!) so we're rather pleased.

Although they did confirm I have an anterior placenta like I suspected from last week, luckily all high up which is fine.

I started feeling movements around 20w or so but they'd been pretty subtle so far, though delightfully today (21+4) she's been properly active, I'm getting my first solid thumps! I was sitting in a work meeting this morning going, huh, that's quite distracting lol

Sorry to hear a few of you have been feeling anxious this week, I think we just have to try to be kind to ourselves and try to forgive our brains that too easily focus on the what could go wrong rather than what could go right. x

Congrats @Sera123 💖

I'm having a girl too!

Hi everyone, can I join please?
I’ve been following the majority of the thread but haven’t posted on here before.

I’m 25 weeks and 2 days, due May 1st and have had 3 previous losses.
I’m nearly 40 and it taken us over 3 years to get here.

I didn’t have any movement till 23 weeks and 4 days 😬 and it’s been very subtle.

At my 24 week midwife appointment, the midwife said the baby was lying diagonally, with their head bottom left and their legs top right. My placenta is anterior and over to the right so hopefully that’s the only reason for subtle movements.

We’ve moved house and I do quite a physical job (although part time so I’m very lucky) and I’ve overdone things. I’ve had awful sciatica for a few weeks (a previous problem, from herniated discs and arthritis) and I’m feeling so guilty that I may have put the baby at risk.

Lots of people seem so organised and have bought so much stuff. We haven’t got anything yet.

So generally… I’m feeling anxious about movement, feeling guilty for doing too much lifting/physical stuff and worrying about being completely under-prepared!!

I do always feel comforted when I read on here that I’m not the only one who’s anxious though.

Thinking of you all and definitely think it’s always worth calling and asking the triage team about changes/lack of movement. Better to be checked over and for things to be ok, than put off going and for things not be.

Hi @i83 we haven't bought anything yet besides 1 outfit. We have some babygrows somewhere from the last pregnancy as well and are reusing the next2me and travel system (just needs a good clean). But other stuff like bottles and clothes and milk machines we will get nearer the time. If I have my way I won't get them until she's here 🤣

Where is everyone buying their maternity clothes from? I don't want to spend loads of money

Ah I missed this thread and the notification, I just thought everyone was being quiet!

@Blue2020 what did they say to you about placenta? The ultrasound guy was so desperate to reassure me about it all being ok and 9 times out of 10 it migrates that he put we quite on edge and Googling made me panic so I've tried to ignore it! Does make it harder to plan though with work...

Hope everyone else is ok. We still haven't bought anything yet, but it does feel a bit more real as we're not far off 24 weeks now.

I am struggling with maternity jeans, being almost 6ft is difficult anyway, but trying to find tall AND maternity is proving difficult. @ratherbthedevil my shorter friends rave about h&m maternity so maybe check that out?

@MO22 I couldn’t tag you when I first posted, I don’t know if that’s because you weren’t on this new thread yet? I tried but it didn’t work.

Yes the sonographer was very relaxed about it. She first mentioned that it was low lying and anterior, then asked if I would like the tv scan to measure the gap. I had it and it turns out there is no gap so placenta previa. She said I would have another scan at 32 weeks to see if it has moved, that 9 times out of 10 it does. She also said any bleeding, even a small amount, and I should to go to the hospital. Did they tell you that too?

I asked if we could still dtd and she said ‘some do near the end to try to bring on labour’. I mean it was the 20week scan so I didn’t know how to respond to that comment. Later on I called my midwife, and she called me back. She didn’t know if we could still dtd and had to ask someone higher up. He advised that we shouldn’t but ultimately it’s our choice.

I looked online and the concern I came across was- If it ends up being c-section and it’s anterior and low lying it could be in the way where they need to cut. Only 8 more weeks until the next scan and to see if it has moved.

@Blue2020 exactly the same over here except mines not totally covering, so partial previa. Mine is also anterior but I've been feeling him since 17.5 weeks, I did ask the sonographer about that and he said everyone is different and if you can feel him, you can feel him! I do think I've got quite an active lad, not sure if that bodes well for the nights ahead, but I suppose he takes after me and I'm not very good at sitting still! 😂

I had the same 9 out of 10 stat and also another scan for 32w. I read about exercise and sex - we aren't really doing much of the latter at the moment (I think we still have exhaustion from the 2 years of TTC!) but I do try and exercise a bit, and they said the same re bleeding, come in immediately, very important no matter how little. I was on aspirin but I've taken myself off it as it can make you bleed more so don't want to risk it.

Similarly I was worried about C-section and anterior, but I think it's probably worth parking any worries until the next scan as it could well just shimmy up there anyway.

Its an additional worry but I don't think it's too uncommon? I'm not adverse to having a C-section, just whatever is the safest way to get him out when the time comes...

Interestingly you are more like to have it if you have had surgery on the uterus, so assuming my miscarriage surgery is the gift that keeps on giving...

@MO22 I also had surgery (erpc) for a miscarriage too, in May, and I thought it might be due to that. The midwife shrugged it off but it does make me wonder. Especially since it’s listed as one of the possibilities why it might occur.

Yes hopefully both of ours move by 32 weeks. My only concern right now is checking to make sure I don’t see any blood.

Is anyone still taking vitamins? I started on folic acid and vitamin d. I am still taking these, not every day but at least every other day. Does anyone know of folic acid is still useful by 24weeks? Does it still help the placenta or baby? I know vitamin d is good since it’s winter.

Oh and yes, I can feel movements too. They started as soft bubble like sensations at 18-19weeks. I have now just reached 25weeks and I mostly feel the kicks at the sides or close to my belly button. Hes also mostly active sometime around 7-11pm and fairly quiet apart from that. Occasionally the odd movement some mornings or after lunch but not as predictable as the evening. So I go all day wondering if he’s ok and then I get the reminder in the evening.

Speaking of sex @MO22 ... Is anyone else finding it just a bit crap? (I'm hoping this is a safe space haha). I was looking forward to the weight of 3yrs TTC being lifted but my body feels different, responds different, DH is worried about squishing the baby. It's just all a bit awkward?

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl yes...finding it a bit hard to get into it. I know they say that it doesn't harm the baby but it's hard to believe that, especially right at the peak of climax. Puts me off.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl we’re not really doing it. I don’t have much libido and I do have some body dysmorphia so not really much in the mood, and during ttc we got into a pattern where I “project managed” that whole situation, timings, etc, so now if I don’t suggest it he doesn’t really think to. 🤷‍♀️

We haven't for a quite a while! I keep meaning to and now with this placenta thing I'm scared to, but I also do feel like I should before I get totally massive 😬

I agree @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl and @Melusina123 I am way more in my head about it than usual which makes it harder to relax and er... Get there. Plus I am a bit horrified by my boobs, they are absolutely massive (they were before tbf) and it doesn't make me feel particularly attractive.

It's all a bit of a head f**k at times.

@mo22 my boobs have gone from a 30H to a 32K and I HATE IT. It is probably my least favourite thing about being pregnant. I hate how hard it is to find bras, I hate how they look, I hate how they're messing up my back. Basically guaranteed now I'll have a breast reduction once done with kids.

@Melusina123 same, I also am really broad so I dread to get remeasured. On a good day at best I'm a 34 (really a 36) but I think I've expanded hugely. Still wearing F or G but it's tight. I know I need to get them properly measured but I hate them. Always have pre-pregnancy. I have always wanted a reduction but just terrified about the surgery, but I think I'm with you, once I'm done with kids maybe I should just for my own sanity and to improve my view of my body!

Terrified also where i'm going to end up as this is only 22w!

@Blue2020 I’m still taking my pregnancy vitamins (currently using the seven seas during pregnancy with the added vitamins). I have been having some odd symptoms so midwife sent me for a blood test at 24 weeks and I am anaemic so I am now taking extra iron supplements.

We have dtd once since finding out we’re pregnant. It’s such an irrational fear, of course I know dtd during pregnancy doesn’t cause loss yet why do I still fear bleeding from dtd? I think dtd less in pregnancy must be quite common as my friends have said they have pretty much stopped altogether or have it a lot less.

I’m 25 weeks tomorrow. Pregnancy yoga has really helped and I would recommend that to everyone. We are planning on choosing our pram next month, everything feels more and more real. More and more exciting and more and more scary!

Hi, how is everyone? This thread has gone a bit quiet.

Is anyone else getting braxton hicks? I think that's what they are but my bump keeps getting tight but I'm sure it's too early

@ratherbthedevil I'm... Okay? To be honest I can still develop some wicked anxiety if baby is having a quiet day at all. Last night I went 0-tears in about 45 mins due to them not moving after dinner (plus work stress). Otherwise well!