Pregant after miscarriage - support thread

[Nervousbuthopeful]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to posting on mumsnet, but have spent plenty of time reading through others' conversations for reassurance when anxious, and this seems like such a friendly place!

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after the miscarriage of my first at 11 weeks in August. I would love to connect with other people in a similar situation.

I'm feeling relatively ok, i.e. not totally panicked all the time, about this one, but I know it's going to be hard. I really find it hard to believe sometimes that this could work out.

Please send a comment if you're in a similar situation and would like to share/receive some support!

@Ella1211 i reckon it sounds like round ligament pain, and if all ok at your scan it's probably nothing to worry about, pregnancy after loss is just one anxiety after another though! It's good you have the midwife to call as well though I'm sure they're used to answering these sorts of questions all the time

@Brokenpancreas94 aww she sounds hilarious, my DH says he has no preference infact I think he'd be quite happy to find out at the birth but I'd like to know in advance just so I know what I'm expecting tbh! All my friends have multiple boys, I literally know no one with a girl! Apart from our niece, they've got one of each, she was amazing when she was 7-8 such a fun age, but now she's 12 she's full on teenage mode, she has her funny moments but most of the time doesn't really want to talk to us anymore and just talks to her pals! 😂 our nephew is 9 and he's quite funny, but hard work, needs constant amusement and doesn't like if you say no...

@Ella1211 Hope it settles down and you are not too uncomfortable. Mine has been more lower back pain and achey hips etc this time round.

@Brokenpancreas94 @suz2285 aw it's exciting isn't it imagine if little one is a girl or a boy. I have a little boy who I love to pieces. He loves his dad but I would say he is a mummy's boy overall 🥰 Would quite like to have a girl and experience 'one of each' but in some ways I wonder if another boy would be easier? Either way will be delighted if I get that far!

@tulipsunday totally right, I think it's just the thought of even getting that far after a loss! I was meant to tell my mum this weekend but she's been on holiday and tbh I'm kind of glad cos I'm mildly terrified to even mention it to anyone yet...

@Brokenpancreas94 I got bought 1 day forward at my 12 week scan, so I’d just wait till then! The baby might catch up by the time you get there ☺️

@Ella1211 I had lots of stretching and sharp pains, I also found if I was stressed I’d get period cramps for some odd reason! It used to go round to my back too so I was worried but it was all fine and I think really normal xx

@suz2285 she's a handful 😂she doesn't like being told no either 😩😩. She doesn't sleep at nights, well she's on medication for sleep so it gives her a couple of hours but she can't/won't sleep alone! It's so hard, so it will be so interesting to see how she will be once baby (hopefully) arrives. I've said to her before what are you going to do if you get a baby brother or sister I won't be able to sleep with you, she was like well once they grow up a bit you can sleep with me again 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️. We've tried so many sleep training methods etc just doesn't work!
@tulipsunday
My friend has 2 girls and she says they're both different, so I've tried telling my partner that 😂🙈.
We will be happy with either ofcourse as long as they are healthy but kind of hoping more for a boy, and then we will be done...don't think I can put my body through anymore, diabetes causes havoc as it is 😩

I haven't told my dad either, I'm waiting for the 12 week scan...he's not big with words, and when I had the mmc he was just like "oh, will you try again, Nevermind" 🙄 and I'm very sensitive so didn't take that well 😬😬🙈
I've only told my brothers and my partner's sister, as she lives a few doors down! Xx

@ChloeN oh good! I didn't like going backwards, it felt like I've been pregnant forever as it is 😂🙈. I guess even if I hadn't had a scan early then I'd still be classed as 8 weeks now anyway...if that makes sense xx

Some people just don't know what to say do they. @Brokenpancreas94 my Mum and friend were the best as they were just like it is really heartbreaking and you are allowed to feel that way. Most other people tried to be 'positive' and it just wasn't what I needed at that point

@suz2285 it is a strange one telling people after a loss it does suck the joy out of it a bit. Hopefully as the weeks go on you will feel a bit better about sharing the news.

If all goes well this will definitely be our last pregnancy. I don't want to ever see another pregnancy or ovulation test again 😂

@tulipsunday haha oh god yeah when I lost the first baby I was like ugh we have to go back to ttc again, what a faff 😂 I had only told one person about the baby before MC and she was just like I'm so sorry etc but yeah I've hardly heard from her since then... she was really chatty when I was pregnant so I'm not sure if she doesn't know what to say or what, but I hadn't told anyone this time so far! I will tell my mum though I just don't want to be like yey I'm pregnant - but also don't get too excited just incase 🙈 though she's a midwife and we've had a lot of chat about my age and risk factors so she's well aware

I just want this 10 week scan to come along now but at the same time I'm terrified, can't win at all 😂

@tulipsunday no they don't.
My friend was the best last time.

How many weeks are you now?

@suz2285 it's hard keeping quiet too isn't it! I just want to tell my daughter the most but I know that if something goes wrong she will be devastated and won't understand. She wants a sibling so much, bless her.
I really hope I'm still scanned on Wednesday, it'll be downstairs in antenatal instead of EPU so maybe 😂🙈.

I've just ordered some urine sample pots too off of Amazon 😂😂because I know il get to my appointment and won't be able to pee!

@Brokenpancreas94 oh definitely not it’s long enough without an extra week🤣🤣 yeah I suppose that’s why they don’t take notice of early scans because not everyone has one! Xx

@Brokenpancreas94 haha good plan! I think the midwife here gives you them after the booking in so you can take to all the next appointments, but I didn't make it to booking in last time so no idea

I work across from the maternity unit and know loads of them in there, last time I went to EPU I walked right past one of the consultants with my head down hoping she wouldn't see me! Not that she'd be able to say anything but I'd like to not be seen until I'm ready to share! I hate waiting there and hoping no one sees me 🙈🙈

I'm feeling ok today and quite motivated which is now worrying me 😂🙈

@suz2285 I made it to booking in last time, well at the time of my appointment the baby had already stopped growing but I didn't know that. In my first pregnancy I had weekly appointments and they would give you a bottle at reception but I didn't always need to go 🙈😂.
No doubt I'll have my bloods done yet again on Wednesday, just for them to lose them again 🙄

My new insulin pump has arrived too ahhh! Like a child at Christmas 😂

Get a big hat and sunglasses 😂

@Brokenpancreas94 imagine a huge hat would be more obvious 😂 I'm going to prob be consultant lead due to family diabetes history and bp issues and my own age and weight so I'll prob end up seeing one of them in a professional capacity anyway, kinda hope it's one I know so it's a friendly face!

Oh yey for the new pump! Finally!
And let's hope no more missing bloods!! I better remember to need the toilet when I go for my appointment now you mention it!

@suz2285 ha I was like that as I used to work at a school which was right by a pregnancy scan place. When I went in for a scan I was always thinking I was going to bump into someone I knew 🙈

That's great about the new pump @Brokenpancreas94 and fingers crossed they scan you this week.

I have reached the dizzy heights of double figures - 10 weeks today. Feels like a little milestone and now just hope the next two weeks don't drag!

@suz2285 that's a good point 😂😂
Is that type 2 diabetes or type 1? My mum had gestational with me.
I'm a bit overweight too...my consultant already said that I'll put on more weight being pregnant like I didn't already know that 🙄. I don't think they understand how hard it is sometimes!
I'll probably forget to do a sample still 😂😂😂

@tulipsunday yay! Glad you've made it this far!! Xx

@Brokenpancreas94 my sis has type 1, dad and my grandpa have/had type 2.. my mum and dad both have bp issues, along with most of both sides of the fam 😂

I lost a bunch of weight a couple of years back but it's been slowly creeping back on and I'm at least a stone heavier than I want to be tbh! But not much I can do about it now!

@suz2285 ahh defo runs in your family then 😬 only I have it in my family!
I was on steroids for months and the pill made me pile it all on, and then once I stopped the pill, I did end up losing over a stone but then it just stopped 🙄

@Brokenpancreas94 ah steroids are so bad for weight gain, mine was antidepressants... lost all motivation and since having covid I've struggled to get back into a proper routine! I was always on the go before lockdown then I was really struggling to get used to staying in, now id prefer to stay home and I'm way lazier! I couldn't get back into a routine with my exercise and running once I was back to work full time in a busier job and just exhausted most evenings! More so now obv 😂

My sis only got diagnosed type 1 a couple of years ago aged mid 30s! Which was unexpected!! Dad has type 2 cos he's very unfit and overweight and has been for years... and his diet is absolutely awful!

@suz2285 I had chronic urticaria for about 6 months it was horrible, head to toe in hives!
Ah yes how could I forget antidepressants!! Sertraline and mirtazapine were the worst for weight gain for me!
Me and my partner used to walk miles everywhere most days but then I slipped a disc and then couldn't do it anymore, and even after having surgery, it still isn't great!

Ah does she have LADA type 1?
I was diagnosed when I was 13, after a load of infections, they think the trauma of my mum dying suddenly set it off 😞

@Brokenpancreas94 god hives does not sound fun, im allergic to so many things and the itchy/hives etc are not fun! That sound awful!

Yeah sertraline was mine. I had citalopram last time and it was worse but yeah no matter what they just seem to slowly creep the weight on! I did mention to the doctor that they made me gain weight but they never seem to think of that when they're saying I'm overweight now... hmmm

Aw I'm sorry to hear about your mum.
My sis just went from nothing to full on diabetes, ended up In hospital with sky high blood sugar after they couldn't figure what was up with her and did a random blood test, straight into full type 1 with insulin from the get go... we couldn't actually believe it!

However after this we've read a lot of stuff about people who had covid early on suddenly developing diabetes so I'm not sure if that had something to do with it or what but yeah, big shock to everyone! But didn't say it was LADA, infact they didn't really have any explanation for it at all

@suz2285 never even found out what I was allergic to that was the most frustrating part, we think it could have been the adhesive for the cannula of my pump that I had at the time but no idea.

And then they tell us to snack on healthy foods like that's fun 😂🙈 own worst enemy I am haha

Ah yes I've seen there's been an increase in type 1 in people who have had covid...they never really have any explanation for type 1 there's still no definite cause, which is crazy they just have all these theories!

@Brokenpancreas94 hah so far with this baby all I want is fruit but I've never eaten so much fruit in my life, usually I eat quite low carb with just berries and not much bread or potatoes, but I only want fruit bread and potatoes at the mo 😂

Yeah no idea, it's very strange! I'm coeliac and now my sis is diabetic 😂 could be worse I guess!

She's waiting on her new pump too i think they said June so should be soon