Pregant after miscarriage - support thread

[Nervousbuthopeful]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to posting on mumsnet, but have spent plenty of time reading through others' conversations for reassurance when anxious, and this seems like such a friendly place!

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after the miscarriage of my first at 11 weeks in August. I would love to connect with other people in a similar situation.

I'm feeling relatively ok, i.e. not totally panicked all the time, about this one, but I know it's going to be hard. I really find it hard to believe sometimes that this could work out.

Please send a comment if you're in a similar situation and would like to share/receive some support!

Hello, I’m in the same boat - I’ve had two miscarriages (2019 and 2022) but a successful pregnancy inbetween. I’m now pregnant again - 7 weeks and I am worried sick. My symptoms of feeling so sick have stopped and this has totally upped my worrying 😞 trying to stay positive but it’s so hard!

@Charlotte2702 I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriages, and congrats on your baby in between! Have you had, or will you have, any reassurance (blood tests, early scans) with this one? I know it’s very common for symptoms to fluctuate, or even disappear, but also know how hard it is not to worry! Is there a milestone beyond which you think you’ll be able to relax a little? I’m not sure what that point would be for me—I suspect I’ll be nervous until we’ll into the second trimester at least, but also hope it will get a bit easier each week past the 11th, when I miscarried last time.

I just saw my doctor yesterday as I’ve had some ovary pain as well and she’s ordered a single hCG test. Everything I’ve read suggests that at least two measurements are necessary so I’m not sure what this will show, but I’ll see what she says! I’m reassured at least that the pain is probably just from a cyst.

@Nervousbuthopeful I’ve been offered an hcg blood test today and again next week to check levels but for me it’s the whole waiting about in between that gets to me. I’m going to try and book a private scan as soon as possible - I just need to know 😞

I know, I’ve googled like mad ‘can loss of symptoms be ok’ etc.. but what I have read has been so mixed and every pregnancy is so different, it hasn’t helped me much.

I totally get how you want to get past a certain week, I’m absolutely the same. Are you going to book a scan before your nhs one? Hopefully your hcg level will be right for the stage you’re at at the moment - got my fingers crossed for you!

@Charlotte2702 Thanks—same for you!! The waiting is awful, I agree.

The EPU that saw me for my miscarriage in the summer offers early scans for subsequent pregnancies, so I had my doctor refer me yesterday, and will absolutely go as soon as I can. Booking an early scan sounds like a great idea—you should be able to go soon now, I imagine, since you’re at 7 weeks already?

@Nervousbuthopeful that’s amazing you’ll be seen, I wouldn’t get seen here on nhs unless I had 3 miscarriages in a row.

Yeah, I had hoped to wait until I was a bit further along to see as much as I can on the screen but I don’t think I can hold on much longer.

I hope everything goes well for you.

@Charlotte2702 I hope it all goes well for you, too! Let me know how your scan goes once you have it, if you feel like it. I try to remind myself that by far the likeliest situation is that everything is fine…

Sending you very best wishes!

Hello girls… sorry to join the thread but i need some advice if anyone has had anything like this before -

i found out i was pregnant two weeks and 3 days ago, due to previous miscarriages and pain i was instantly put with the EPAU, i had my first scan a week ago today where only a sack could be slightly seen - so it was classed as inconclusive.

i then went back today with the hope of hearing a heartbeat… but nothing. My fetal pole is now measuring at 3.5mm and sack visible and is in the right place so we have ruled out ectopic, but the woman scanning me said it could mean the pregnancy is there but non viable but how would it have grown?

the nurse after my scan said she should not have said that to us because the pregnancy has progressed since the last scan - but it means my scan next week ( a whole week today) if theres no heartbeat they would class it as a missed miscarriage and now i am petrified and sick with worry.

is it normal to not see the heart beat at 6 weeks 3 days? Will i see it in a weeks time if everything is normal or could it still be hiding? It is going to kill me to lose this baby. I just want to know if anyone has had anything similar with a positive outcome.

they said i could just have been earlier on and its normal - but also said i could have already lost it due to the heartbeat not being visible. HELP.

@Nervousbuthopeful I ended up booking a scan yesterday and thankfully got one in the evening and it showed I’m 7 weeks and there was a heartbeat. The relief i felt was unreal, I don’t think I feel totally 100% relieved but I’m a worrier at the best of times anyway! How are you getting on?

@mm1998 I’m so sorry I can’t offer any advice and I completely understand the pain in waiting for your next appointment. Can you book a private scan at all? I had to do this to have an answer either way as it was driving me nuts. I was also offered hcg bloods to check levels - could this be something you can ask for? Sorry I’m not much help but sending you all the luck!

@mm1998 I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this! It does sound promising that there was growth, and when I tried to book a private scan at 6 weeks with my last pregnancy they wouldn’t see me until 7 or 8 because the chance of hearing or seeing the heart beat was too low before that. So, it seems to me the sonographer’s comments were definitively premature, and you can be hopeful! Getting hCG tested could also really help, as Charlotte2702 said, if that’s available to you. Stick in there, and let us know how it goes if you want to!

@Charlotte2702 That is amazing news!! I’m so pleased for you 😊!

I am a worrier too—I got the results of my hCG test this morning and at 5w1d my levels were 9672iu/l—way past the top of the normal range! At first I was elated and then I googled all the things that too high hCG can indicate and started worrying all over again 😂. I managed to calm myself down though and am mostly just happy that, like you, it does seem things are going well so far. At least this is now definitely not the chemical I feared, and much less likely to be ectopic.

@Nervousbuthopeful being a worrier is pretty much a full time job 🙈😂 that’s so good the level was higher although I know the feeling of googling too much! Do you have any further tests/appts? My sickness feeling has returned and whilst I feel rubbish, I find it reassuring 😊

Hi ladies, can I join?

I found out I was pregnant last week, my period was due Thursday and hasn't come 🤞🏼 So that's the first hurdle!

I had a little boy in 2020 first pregnancy no issues but since trying to conceive baby 2, I've had 2 losses in the last year.

I am 4+2 so very early. I'm trying to not be anxious and just tell myself worrying won't change anything. Equally it's hard to be excited too. I guess I'm trying to just half forget about it.

I'll be booking an early scan around 6+2/3 I saw my little boys heartbeat then and I want to rule out a blighted ovirum which I had last time where he pregnancy sac developed but the baby didn't, and I'd like to know as soon as possible to rule that out.

Hope we can all hold each other's hands and get our little babies safely!

@Diamondbabe Welcome! Great to have you join us. I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, and hope this one is a smooth and happy pregnancy! Will you book a private scan, or do you get to see a doctor early?

@Charlotte2702 Yes, it is 😅. I'm a teacher, and am actually grateful that this pregnancy has fallen during the school year; my first was in the summer when I really could worry full time😆! My doctor said she would call if the hCG looked worrying in any waynot sure if I will hear from her next week, then, but I might not. And I'm just waiting to hear back from the EPU to book an early scan. I'm excited for that to happen soonI'll be 6 weeks on Tuesday, so it will probably be the following week, or the one after. I'll be so nervous, though... I've been feeling quite nauseous, which, as you wrote, is miserable, but reassuring! I never felt this way with my first pregnancy, though I had other symptoms.

For everyone here, I read a post on the forum of the Premom app that has helped me quite a bit these days. A woman who, in her words, had a bad NIPT result at 18 weeks in September and had to say goodbye to her daughter, wrote that now she wishes she had been more able to enjoy the time she had with her, instead of being so anxious. I know it might not help everyone, but it has really changed something for me; I now feel like this is precious time I get to spend with my second child (the first being the one I lost to miscarriage at 11 weeks). I don't know how long we will have, but I want to enjoy it as much as I can, regardless of what happens. It doesn't take aware the fear for me, but it gives me another way to relate to the uncertainty of the present.

Sorry, I used dashes on either side of a phrase and the site seems to have read that as strikethrough!

Hi @Diamondbabe wishing you all the luck! I hope the next few weeks fly by for you and you can get your scan booked.

@Nervousbuthopeful its always easier being distracted isn’t it? I often work from home and due to feeling so sick I’ve been quite grateful for that.

Thats really nice what you said and so true. It’s just such an emotional time.

Hiya ☺️

I had an MMC in August. We found out at 7+5 and baby's heart had stopped at 7 weeks. I had medical management and then ended up having to go back for another 8 weeks for two further scans and blood tests as my HCG wasn't coming down.

I'm now 4+3. I was absolutely fine when I found out, but the last couple of days I've been feeling super nervous. I had 10 days of brown discharge in the last pregnancy, that started at 4+3. I also felt nauseous for a few days, and that's dissapeared over the last couple of days. I know symptoms come and go but my symptoms stopped a couple of days before I found out about my MMC last time so I'm super nervous :(

They don't do bloods etc here unless you have two or more miscarriages but I have been offered an early reassurance scan around 7 weeks.

I just want to get to the 12 week scan and then I'll stop being quite so worried.... I just want everything to go okay 😫

Here’s the link to the established MN thread for support during pregnancy after a loss: www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4646212-navigating-pregnancy-after-loss-thread-5?page=23&reply=121655642

There are lots of women who have recently given birth on there, which is oddly reassuring to the rest of us when navigating a new pregnancy after a previous loss. Equally though, there are lots of other women who are in their first or second trimester. I’m personally nearing my second trimester now. 🥰

If anyone wants to join, I know you’d all be in good company as the ladies on there are lovely!

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy pregnancy with their rainbows 🌈

Oops, I meant to say I’m nearing the end of my first trimester now! So, I think around the same as some of you ladies on here. I have my 12 week scan booked for this coming Friday - I’m equally parts nervous and excited!

I have had two early scans through EPAU after some bright red spotting and subsequently some light red spotting. For the first, I measured 5-6 weeks and less than 5mm but incredibly a strong heartbeat was seen and then a few weeks later had another one measuring around 8+2 where again, wriggly baby with strong heartbeat was seen! 🥰 Trying to hold onto that going into my scan next week but it’s so hard not to worry! I’ve had more spotting over the past couple of days and that’s how my miscarriage started with my last pregnancy so my anxiety is through the roof! 😓

@rach971 Hi and welcome! So sorry to hear about your previous loss, and wishing you all the best with this pregnancy! You must be almost 5 weeks now--how is it going?

@B1993 Thanks for joining us and for linking to the official thread! I was sure there was something like that but couldn't find it when I started this one 🙄!
Can I ask when you had your two scans? I mean, was your baby measuring the weeks and days you would have expected? And do you have another one this week? Hoping it all goes well for you--let us know if you feel like it!

@Charlotte2702 @Diamondbabe @mm1998 How are you all doing?

I've been pretty nauseous and exhausted, which is reassuring but also difficult, especially at work. I've also had some new faint pains on the right side of my abdomen and am trying not to catastrophize about potential ectopic again. I have my first scan next Wednesday (a week today), and will be so relieved if everything looks all right!

@Nervousbuthopeful The dating of scans has caused a lot of stress and anxiety for me actually, I tracked ovulation with BBT temping so KNOW when I ovulated and got a postive test 8 days later (just like I did with my miscarriage), but was measuring behind this.

I ovulated on 14/9 and got my initial positive test on 22/9. My initial scan was on 13/10 so from ovulation should have been 6+1 but only measured 5-6 weeks. A strong heartbeat was seen though. 💗🥰 I was scanned again on 3/11 due to more bleeding (when I should have been 9+1) but measured around 8+2.

The problem is, it's impossible for me to be a week behind as I would have ovulated around the day I got my positive tests!! I'm so certain of my dates and everything I read online said that babies measuring behind usually end in miscarriage. 😰😭 I'm trything to hold onto the fact that baby has been growing and had a strong heartbeat at both scans.

Hopefully this Friday's scan will be no different and hopefully all will be good!!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

sorry for the essay!! 🙈

@Nervousbuthopeful Thank you ☺️ Yes, 5 weeks tomorrow. It's going okay. I've had no symptoms for around 5 days now though. Before that I had some mild nausea. I think everything is a worry this early on. My symptoms dissapeared completely a couple of days after baby's heart stopped last time so I think I'm just super nervous that something has happened. I just want to be past the 12 weeks, I want to be seeing my bump grow and feeling some kicks 🤣 At the moment it really doesn't feel like I'm pregnant at all 🙈 Just got to wait for my reassurance scan which will be at around 7 weeks and hope for the best. I've had zero discharge/spotting though so that's good and a Clearblue test dated me accurately, so both of those things have given me some reassurance at least.

@B1993 I totally understand--hoping all goes well on Friday (that's so soon!)! I don't know if you've come across these, but I've actually read some very hopeful stories about dates being off, including for a woman who also tracked everything, here: www.everymum.ie/pregnancy/my-baby-measured-small-at-early-scan-should-i-worry/. I've read lots of positive stories elsewhere, too (I think there were more on the everymum facebook page answering the question in the article?), and as you say, a strong heartbeat and growth sounds very promising.

@rach971 Yes--so true that everything is a worry! I don't think anyone who hasn't gone through it has any idea how stressful TTC and pregnancy can be. It takes so much, physically and mentally, and is a near constant preoccupation because you can't just switch off from what is happening in your body. I'm so glad you'll at least be able to have an early scan, and great that you've had the Clearblue and no spotting!