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Original poster

Infidelity - Found a condom under the bed

235 replies

Pippa0321 · 06/11/2022 22:17

I’m 2 months pregnant, we tried for a year and when we found out we were extremely happy. (we’ve been happily together for 6 years). However today I was cleaning and I found a condom wrap under the bed. I confronted him and he admitted he cheated with a random girl a year ago. He was out partying and met a girl, went back to her place and got with her, he thinks the condom wrap was in his pocket and may have fell out when he got changed back home. I don’t know what to do I’m shocked. I would have never ever expected that from him. He has been such a good boyfriend, so loving and so in love with me for all these years. I thought 100% he was the type he’d never cheat. Any advice? Should I leave him and keep the baby? Leave him and get an abortion? Or stay with him and keep the baby despite everything? Thanks x

OP posts:
Polecat07 · 06/11/2022 22:19

Well I'd be leaving and having a termination, but you have to do what feels right to you.

ShouldntHaveBeenSoHasty · 06/11/2022 22:22

I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. None of us can advise what it is you should do, only you can do that. Whatever you decide to do just make sure you go into it as fully informed as you can .

Strangerthings4NW · 06/11/2022 22:28

The whole story sounds like utter BS.

I never say LTB but I think this is one of those times. He’s lying/cheating and won’t change.

Meagainalready · 06/11/2022 22:31

How did a condom
wrapper make its way back from another house, to your house and then UNDER your bed of all places and then lay undetected for a year and yet be found fairly easily when you did some cleaning today?

either the whole thing is made up or the story about it being a year ago and not in your house is made up.

but then anyone cheating would surely be fairly careful to dispose of the condom wrapper.

PurplePansy05 · 06/11/2022 22:33

Well if your story is true, it's pretty obvious it happened more recently and in your bed, I'm afraid.

Rosegold3112 · 06/11/2022 22:33

I'm so sorry this has happened. I can't tell you what you should do and only you can decide but like pp I am skeptical. So he cheated a year ago and kept the wrapper for a year? Or it fell out a year ago and you've just found it now? I can't even imagine what must be going around in your head, I'm so sorry I op x

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 06/11/2022 22:35

If it happened a year ago you would have found that wrapper then. Either way he is a cheating lying scumbag.

blurer · 06/11/2022 22:38

I wouldn't be believing his story in the slightest. I think it's a fraction of the truth

Regardless, I would know enough that I would be ending it.

Personally, I'd keep the baby on the basis I'd be willing to go it alone (that's after years of being a single mum and knowing i was better off alone). Equally, if that's not the life you want, there in nothing wrong with a termination if you feel it is right for you

Baby or not, I'd be ltb

whirlyswirly · 06/11/2022 22:39

I once found a wrapped one in our washing machine when I took a load of washing out. Xh had all the excuses but it turned out to be exactly what it seemed. Note he's now xh.

I'm so sorry. Sad

Mostlygrumpy · 06/11/2022 22:42

Ok so if he cheated on you a year ago why are you just finding a condom wrapper under the bed now?

choiceschoices1 · 06/11/2022 22:43

I'm so sorry you're going through this. What's the used by date of the condom ? As this will tell you roughly when it was purchased. Check out used by date of current condom then minus back the time and apply to one you found. Sorry to say but I would not believe this story and nor would I accept a one night stand from a year ago. It's only going to get tougher whilst pregnant and newborn , baby, toddler stage

RaininSummer · 06/11/2022 22:43

Leave him and make the decision about the baby based on bring a single parent.

Proamble · 06/11/2022 22:45

Maybe get a better boyfriend, or clean under the bed more so you’re on top of what’s going on. Have you checked under the sofa cushions recently? Or the back seat of the car?

happinessischocolate · 06/11/2022 22:47

I agree with others, it's more recent than a year ago.

The day after I found out was pregnant I found out my bf had been unfaithful. I was going to split with him, but he begged me for another chance. I thought, well I'm not doing anything else for the next 7 months so may aswell. 2.5 years later when I was a pregnant with our second child I found out he'd been unfaithful again and this time I kicked him out.

Only you can decide what you want to do, I have no regrets, but bringing up 2 children on my own has been hard. You're the one who has to live with your decision, no one else.

Mostlygrumpy · 06/11/2022 22:48

Apologies that was blunt. Please just take a moment to think clearly for yourself and your future. Do you want to stay with him and bring a baby up without trust? Do you want to be a single Mum and have that responsibility? If he is lying about condom wrappers and sleeping with people then I think you should seriously have a think about what you deserve. Not this, I'm sorry x

Bananarama21 · 06/11/2022 22:48

How old are you op? The choice is yours inregards to the baby but I'd ditch him. Your relationship will never be the same and you'll be constantly look over your shoulder. Especially when your busy with a newborn.

Backtoblack1 · 06/11/2022 22:50

Has he had opportunity to cheat recently? I definitely wouldn’t believe it’s from another location over a year ago x

Pollywoddles · 06/11/2022 22:53

Why would someone put a used condom wrapper in their pocket and take it home when they were cheating? His story is rubbish.

You can’t continue this relationship.

jtaeapa · 06/11/2022 22:54

He wouldn't have admitted to the cheating if it was once, a year ago. More likely it is incessant cheating with multiple women and he has made a "small" admission to throw you off the scent. I'd be leaving and considering a termination. I don't think you should stay with him. Life is much harder after having a baby. If he's happy to cheat when he has no "reason" (I'm not suggesting little kids are a good reason to cheat but they are certainly a major stressor) then he's going to be at it again when you have your hands full with a baby.

GiveMeYourSperm · 06/11/2022 22:57

Let me break it down for you hun 1) The condom wrapper is under the bed where the cheating sex happened. 2)The cheating sex happened rather recently, likely within the past 6 months hun. 3) You keep that baby and you'll experience a happiness you never thought possible. Wish him well, leave him and continue to collect your child support payments.
You are loved. God bless you and your precious bump 🙏

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 06/11/2022 22:57

I also would question where he had sex with her. Cheating men rarely put an empty condom wrapper back in their pocket let alone forget it so it falls on the floor at home and goes under the bed. Sorry OP but looks bad for him.

Stevie6 · 06/11/2022 22:58

I swear this exact post reappears every few months.....

pinheadlarry · 06/11/2022 23:01

Hes more than likely cheated more than once and maybe in your house.. too
Its a tough decision, if you keep the baby you will be tied to this loser for life
But the baby is also half of you
Its depends how much you want to be a parent

My advice is dont put him on the birth certificate if you choose to keep, thank me later ..

catandcoffee · 06/11/2022 23:03

PurplePansy05 · 06/11/2022 22:33

Well if your story is true, it's pretty obvious it happened more recently and in your bed, I'm afraid.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/11/2022 23:05

🤔