How long did you know your partner before starting a family?

[ALS94]

I have been with my partner now for 6 months, I have never felt this way about anyone and I know this relationship is going the whole way. We’ve already discussed babies, marriage and moving in together. He’s very keen on children and said he wants them in the next 3 years (I’m 28 and he’s 31) but is happy to go at my pace. All my friends have children or are pregnant and I really want to have my children the same time as them so we’re at the same life stages together.

Am I mad for considering having a baby with someone I’ve only know for 6 months? I’m interested to know others experience of this

TIA x

7 years. And to answer your question, yes I think you are, it's quite irresponsible. 6 months is absolutely no time to know for sure whether this will last and whether he would make a good father, you barely know each other at this point. Do you not want to experience life together, make some nice memories and have trips away before having children? You won't get the chance to do this often when you have kids.

You're not mad for considering him as a potential father for your children but would be mad to get pregnant now.

I was with dh 12 years before we had dc. We met in our late teens and wanted to establish careers and get married etc.

8 years

10 years

21 years. And yes, we were the other extreme, but you would be completely mad to have a baby with a man you barely know, just because your friends are doing it.

I think 3 years sounds sensible.
Gives you time in work on your relationship.
Kids need strong foundations.

11 years together before we had our first child.

I have a couple of friends who got pregnant in first 6-12 months of relationship. One couple stayed together about 8 years but their relationship was very toxic.
The other couple are going strong 4 years later.

My (now husband) and I moved in together almost immediately. I knew way before 6 months that he was the man I was going to marry and have a baby with.

We've now been together nearly 7 years and have a 3 year old.

Terrible reason to be rushing reproductive decisions.

You don't need to be on the same timeline as your friends. Think of the offspring, not yourself. Get to know him for several years at least.

Probably gonna get comments replying back to me saying I sound silly😂 but if it feels right and you both want the same things then I would say go for it. Regardless on how long you are together things can still go wrong/happen. It is a bit soon but if he sounds genuine and u both want it then I don't see why not. Also the longer you leave it the harder it is to conceive sometimes. As long as you both feel ready. Me and mine had one after about 1 year and 4 months and we're still together now making it work and happily expecting our first child together 😀 even if it didn't work out could you see him being a good father because tbh that's mainly all that matters, I know it's nice to be a family but sometimes u have to think it don't always work out like that and as long as you both would be great parents I don't think it matters how soon or late you have kids.

7 years.

(Intentionally) having a baby with a man you've only known 6 months is crazy in my opinion! I would definitely give it at least 1.5-2 years.

Having children is a far bigger tie to someone than marriage or buying a house and in the words of my mum 'be careful who you breed with'!!

DD1 was born four days after the fourth anniversary of our meeting, so I was pregnant with her when we had known one another and been together about 3.5 years. A lot of people told us that was quick and vaguely insane (we got married after 18months). Worked for us and felt ready but I don't really think there's a right or wrong answer. Some people will feel ready after a year, some after a decade. Probably wait til you've known him for a whole year before moving any further steps though. Good luck.

We started trying for our first at 2.5 years in. Quite soon to some but it felt right for us and we'd lived together, got engaged and bought our first home before having ds.

At 6 months we'd only just started saying I love you! Didn't discuss babies until 6 months after that.

I think your 'doing things at the same time as your friends' reason is quite weak. Friendships don't always last forever and a child is a lifelong commitment that should be taken seriously. Slow down and keep getting to know each other imo.

8 years, married for 3 of those. At 6 months you’re still in the honeymoon period, I’d 100% want to know how any potential father to my children handles the tough stuff, arguments, stress etc. before I’d ever feel comfortable committing to raising a child together.

6 and a bit years. We knew it was serious from around our 3rd date (28yr and 31y). We spent 1 year dating but living apart, 2yrs living together in a rented place, bought a house, got engaged, got married (all in all took 18 months ish), then started ttc which took 2 yrs including fertility treatment. Dd born when we were 35y and 38y.

I would have liked to start ttc when we first moved in together but im now glad we didnt. It feels much more secure having our own place and being more settled, especially with the cost of living etc.

3.5 years by the time DD was born. We were engaged at 2 years, married the year after and pregnant immediately after that.

Personally I wouldn't have a baby just to keep up with friends. You sound childish to even consider that with a BF of 6 months.
If your friends get divorced will you leave your BF?

yes you are... you barely know him.

Two years after marriage

PUT A RING 💍 ON IT FIRST!!

5 years. You don't know someone properly until you have a kid with them and it's usually worse than you think. 😂

About 10 months 😀 we met , and were married after being together 8 months , we both wanted a family straight away
We we’re a little older than you OP , ( 33 and 34 )
It worked for us , we’ve been married for nearly 30 years now

5 years. I'd say take your time and enjoy it being the two of you because pregnancy and having kids is super intense and you'll never get the same level of quality time back so make the most of it and soak it in before you decide to start trying. Personally I would want to know how my other half handles stress and pressure and things going wrong and how much we work as a team before bringing kids into the mix.

12 years together before TTC. You're really rushing into it at 6 months

8yrs.

And yes it's generally too soon after 6 months. We had children on an entirely different schedule to our friends. It's real life, not a sitcom.

Also, enjoy being a couple for a bit.

11 years. Obviously I met my DH quite young and it’s not always possible to wait so long, but after 6 months you barely know someone. How do you know he will be a supportive partner and a good dad?

I think that thinking about and planning for the future is a good idea, but I wouldn’t have a baby with someone until we had been living together for a few years at least.

Knew each other 14 years, 12 years together before having a baby.

I know that’s a long time, but 6 months is really risky. You have no idea how you both cope with things, and babies need to come into a relationship with strong foundations