How long did you know your partner before starting a family?

[ALS94]

I have been with my partner now for 6 months, I have never felt this way about anyone and I know this relationship is going the whole way. We’ve already discussed babies, marriage and moving in together. He’s very keen on children and said he wants them in the next 3 years (I’m 28 and he’s 31) but is happy to go at my pace. All my friends have children or are pregnant and I really want to have my children the same time as them so we’re at the same life stages together.

Am I mad for considering having a baby with someone I’ve only know for 6 months? I’m interested to know others experience of this

TIA x

5 months, do not recommend. We were young, we rushed (although ds1 was a surprise). Life has been hard as we had no time to get any stability behind us. I love our 4 dc but I really wish we had waited and realised much earlier that we are totally unsuited to each other.

Wait until you really know him, this is the honeymoon phase!

7 years - met at 18, married at 22, parents at 25 (and 27 and 32). Am 32 now.

We were together a year when I fell pregnant (accidentally). We’re still going strong 6 years later. I wouldn’t recommend doing it that quickly though as it’s nice to have time and experiences with your partner first. We haven’t had much time to ourselves and our relationship since. Also, always live with someone first before you have a baby. You don’t know who they are u tip you live together.

Let’s see, met, living together by 1yr, pregnant at 14 months, married at 3 years. Worked for us, together 12 years now and 2dc, couldn’t be happier. I knew mr topaz was the one pretty fast. No worries at all. Parents met and married fast, so did grandparents actually.

6 years

3 months. Obviously not planned. Really wouldn’t recommend. We are still together 12 years later, but its been a very hard road. Parenting is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, holding a relationship together through the early years is the second hardest- especially if you hardly know the other person. I remain amazed that any relationship survives small children.

7 years
We moved in after 18m, we spent 3 yrs doing my house up to sell and saving. We bought a bigger house, then once we were settled in we started trying for a baby.

There's a lot to think about before having a baby-
Where will you live?
Will both of u work?
How will finances work?
Do either of you have religious beliefs?
Views on discipline?
Sharing of housework?
Do you want to get married?
And many more, spend sometime getting to know him, move in when it feels right. Live with each other long enough for the novelty to wear off. Then when you feel secure in the relationship and financially stable start talking about a family. Three years seems reasonable.

12 years. We met as students so didn't get married for years and I didn't want DC when I was younger.

6 months is far too short a time and you still have plenty of time. Enjoy this stage of your relationship, dating then maybe getting engaged and married. Once you've laid down some happy memories together then you can think about having children. What your friends are doing is irrelevant and if you are thinking like that you are too immature to have DC.

Pregnancy is hard on your body and caring for a baby can destroy a relationship. It's exhausting and costs a fortune. And you need to be on the same page as the father. Would your boyfriend take paternity leave? Work PT? Take the DC to doctor's appointments or the dentist or go to parent's evenings or take them to get new shoes or buy birthday presents for school friends? Will he consider your career as important as his and discuss the impact of any possible promotions on the family (hint: it's not just about the money).

We’d been together 3/4 months when I got pregnant….
But I’d known him for 5 years before we got together.
I was 33 and he was 36.
Had we been younger, or had I not known him all those years previous, I would have been much more on it with contraception.

In your situation I’d wait a few years, enjoy doing nice things together and make sure you know who this man is!

14 years, but we met as students, when I was just 19 and DH was 20. Also I couldn’t have fitted in children while working 72 to 100 hours a week as a junior doctor, so had to wait until I was in my thirties.

6 months isn't enough time to really know someone.
I met my fiance when I was 17 and were good friends until we got together when I was 19. Moved in together at 21, engaged at 22 and expecting our first baby now at 25. So 8 years. We're the first out of our friends to start a family but we've also been together the longest.

Some of my friends are TTC, one is pregnant, some aren't even thinking about kids or marriage, (one is repulsed by the idea of kids before 30!) some are single and live with their parents. Everyone is on a different timeline and I do think it's irresponsible to just have a baby so you can keep up with your friends.

Known each other a long time but been in a relationship for 7 years before our first was born. It was great - we know each other unbelievably well and knew how we coped in difficult circumstances etc, so the birth and early days/months were fine as we were so used to working as a team.

2 months of knowing him. But I already have other kids so we didn't really spend a lot of time with each other without the kids anyways. We'll have the baby before our anniversary. He's been fantastic so far. Great with the kids and supporting me through pregnancy. Due to get married in May. I really believe he's the one but yeah wish it didn't happen so quickly just in case. Even if we don't work out I have no doubts he's going to be a great dad.

Dh and I had been together nearly 10 years (we met young & wanted to be married first) We started ttc after we got married and had Dd 11 months later.

6 months is not enough time to really get to know someone & having kids is such a big commitment. I think it’s ok to feel he might be the one, but to actually have a child after such a short space of time…..I would wait at least a few years.

Anecdotal, but my sister fell pregnant 5 months after meeting her then bf. My lovely nephew was planned, but problems started quite quickly after their ds was born.
Dsis and ex just didn’t really know one another. They didn’t get to do the whole dating thing, go on holidays, just spending time with one another, they didn’t even live together at that point.
In the end, they were actually really different people. They stayed together for a rocky 4 years before breaking up.

Although your living and financial situations are important, it’s more that you barely know each other after six months. My parents married just three months after meeting, but they didn’t start a family until five years later, they got to know each other during that time.

I’d enjoy being a couple for another year or two if I were you.

You're only 28 and have heaps of time so there's no need to rush. Enjoy your (still new) relationship for now. I'd say give it at least another year before you start thinking about babies.

Some people could be together 10 plus years and start a family and it not work out, no one can predict but I just knew deep down this was the real deal.

We are still best friends. I like hearing other stories like ours 😊

11 years

This is such dire advice. Marriage is protection when your career is put on hold to have all these babies you’re both planning with the men you don’t know all that well. 🤦‍♀️

About 7 months

4 years, I had a 1 year old when we met and he took her on as his own without actually being her dad so I knew he and our relationship could cope with his own/another child….we’re still together after 8 years and now have 3 x

DH and I had been together 6 months when we decided to try for our first, we now have 3 beautiful DC's and have been together for 10 years, married for 5.

If you know you know 😊

Less than 2 years; had been living together a month and was unplanned. He was 28, I was 30. No regrets twenty years later.

Twelve years.

Horses for courses. People have different circumstances. I’m the main breadwinner so if the worst were to happen, I would be worse off from being married. Not everyone is the same 🙄